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Houses Built on Floodplains Could Get Docks

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People who build homes on floodplains or even worse live in them, could build docks in their driveways for boats to be used for daily use, the Environment Agency has revealed.

“If you want to go to your local chippy or to the pub for a pint, all you need to do is swim to the dock, get in your boat and you’ll be as happy as Larry, even though your home will be under six feet of water,” Martin Fisher, an Environment Agency spokesman told the BBC on Monday.

Building homes on floodplains is not only foolish and a statement of greed by irresponsible property developers, but a testament to the utter folly of government agencies who are meant to protect the public.

“Here, listen to this. I am going to sell you a property on a floodplain that you will not be able to insure, to sell, or live in. Thank you for your money,” a jubilant Lincolnshire estate agent said to one poor sucker out house hunting.

It’s all okay though. The local councils where these properties are built on floodplains are adamant that the idea of each ruined property having a dock for a boat will solve the problem.

Barney Fiddle, a councillor for Doncaster council in Fishlake said: “I think the clue is in the name of this floodplain, er..it’s called Fishlake. What more clues do you need before building a home in this area?”

Casino Bonuses – You Don’t Always Need to be First in Line

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Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is real folks. Every day people all over the world are concerned that they are missing out on the best events, deals, trends and much, much more. It’s a shortcut to a life of stress and anxiety and that is never a good thing is it?

Thankfully, when it comes to the world of online casinos this fear of missing out simply isn’t the case. Rather than pushing out strictly time-limited offers and stressing us all out, all the best online casinos want to welcome everyone in their own time.

Just a quick search online for things like ‘casino welcome bonus’ and you’ll see the massive selection of offer. Sure, bonuses come and go but you can be certain that there are always plenty to choose from which take the pressure off.

Get the Best Casino Welcome Bonuses

Take your time and search around for the best online casino welcome bonus, no getting in line for a ‘one day only offer’ required here. This gives you the freedom to compare and contrast the deals and find one that fits you the best.

Here are some key bonus terms to look out for when seeking out a new casino to ply your gaming skills at:

Bonus Match Money

This is a superb boost for all new players where the casino matches what you put in. You’ll see this type of offer called a first deposit casino bonus. The offer might read something like ‘100% up to €100’, which would mean you put in (deposit) €100 and the casino gives you €100 in tasty bonus cash, nice.

Free Spins Bonuses

Another great bonus you could get your hands on just for signing up with a new casino is a batch of Free Spins. These usually will give you a free go at a specific video slot or can maybe used on a selection of games.

No Deposit Bonuses

The holy grail of casino bonuses, they do exactly what the title suggests. You don’t need to deposit any of your own funds to claim these, making them truly free. So, just sign up with a few basic details and claim the bonuses to start playing with.

Khabib Nurmagomedov Wants to Fight Tony Ferguson, if Possible Georges St. Pierre

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Khabib Nurmagomedov is, without a doubt, the most impressive fighter in MMA right now. The Russian Eagle still hasn’t lost a single fight, and the way he trashes his opponents, it appears that he isn’t going to any time soon.

Nurmagomedov recently got back in the octagon, after almost one year of absence caused by the incidents after his bout with Conor McGregor. Back then, at the UFC 229, he defeated the Notorious, who is now desperate for a rematch with the Russian. McGregor is doing all sorts of things to attract Khabib’s attention, but for now, the champion is not buying any of the stuff the Irishman is doing.

According to the bookmakers, if there would be such an event, the current titleholder would be a massive favourite to defeat his controversial rival once again. Odds on Khabib’s win right now are 2/7, while Connor’s success stands at 3/1. The odds are changing on a daily basis, and you can track them at UFC betting UK, along with all other offers for the upcoming events. Back at the UFC 229, Nurmagomedov’s triumph was 3/5, and Conor’s at 7/5, making the gap much smaller. It appears that the bookies trust the champ more than before.

The reason for such a big difference between the two fighters is the fact that Khabib is in the training process, while on the other side, McGregor didn’t fight ever since his loss. The Russian defeated Dustin Poirier at the UFC 242 in Saudi Arabia, in another event, which he entered as a heavy favourite. Odds on his success were at 1/4, while Poirier’s sensation was priced at 13/4.

Unlike McGregor, who still doesn’t know the name of his next rival, the lightweight champion is in talks with several challengers who are willing to meet him. Among those names, two are especially intriguing – Tony Ferguson and Georges St. Pierre.

The latter one is a long-time wish of the Russian, who publicly admitted that on several occasions. St. Pierre was one of the best fighters ever seen in the octagon, but he is in retirement, and it is hard to believe that the Canadian might come back and risk his legacy against a ferocious and a much younger fighter who is at his peak.

As for the fight with Ferguson, this sounds more reasonable. According to some of the sources, the two sides already began negotiating the terms, and it is said that the bout might happen in March or April 2020. The venue of the contest should be Moscow, even though many believed it would be New York. Whether is that because of the ongoing Impeachement process against President Trump who is a big fan of MMA we don’t know, but the Russian fans will have a chance to see a huge spectacle

In both cases, Khabib is a favourite, as you might guess. Against St. Pierre, his win is priced at 1/4. GSP’s victory is 3/1. The gap is a bit thinner against Ferguson, who is maybe the only guy able to restrain Nurmabomedov. But then again, the bookies don’t see it like that. The Russian Eagle to win is 1/2, while Ferguson’s upset is valued with 2/1. Recently one more name emerged to the surface, Nate Diaz. The younger of Nate brothers is back after three years, and his presence immediately drew the attention. However, he, too is an underdog against the champion. Khabib is 1/6 to win, while Diaz’s victory sits at 7/2.

Overpopulation: People Living in Tiny Capsules

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Humans have been living in tiny cages in places like Hong Kong for decades, but now capsule living is coming to the West.

This is where the human race is gearing towards simply due to over breeding, where space is now at a premium, and finite resources are being completely depleted from the earth.

“We are now indoctrinating young people to be happy to live in tiny capsules. This is an unfortunate symptom of over breeding and little or no planning for the future of the planet,” a lecturer at UCLA revealed.

Overpopulation only creates misery for all aspects of life and nature, as humans encroach on natural habitats, they displace the natural world. Unfettered breeding by populations that cannot afford to have children creates a vicious cycle of poverty, pollution and terrorism amongst the disenfranchised.

There is nothing good to say about overpopulation, and if the earth is to survive the next 40 years, there will have to be a vast reduction in numbers otherwise the entire human race will face an extinction event. If the upper estimate of species numbers is true – that there are 100 million different species co-existing with us on our planet – then between 10,000 and 100,000 species are becoming extinct each year.

To make people happy to live in tiny capsules, is a triumph in indoctrination, such is the strength of the techniques utilised by the current controllers.

Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise. People in the West today are so malleable and obedient that they follow orders with exquisite subservience.

We even see today’s Western university students actively protesting against human freedoms, and celebrating their own censorship, such is the dumbed down nature of a generation that has been heavily controlled through Sovietized indoctrination techniques utilised by the education systems.

After living in capsules, what will there be left? Naturally, the progression may well delve into voluntary euthanasia, or maybe compulsory. How about eating insects, and maggots for protein? This is already being touted by the controllers for the malleable youth, to a future of happy munching of bugs and worms to save the planet. Naturally, those at the top of the pyramid will be dining on fine gourmet not available to the masses in the future.

If these idiotic morons only cast their eyes to the developing nations and third world, where the real problem of overpopulation and pollution is really occurring, they would see for themselves that places like China and India are the real problem, yet they dare not utter a word for fear of being politically incorrect.

The West and developed nations, in their liberal socialist stupor can only be deemed as useless in the fight to save the planet, instead of acting with haste, they are caught in their own self-importance and politically correct ineptitude.

In other words — we’re all fucked because of these idiots.

 

One Car Which You Would Be Honoured to be Run Over By: The Ferrari Roma

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This is one car which most guys would drag their balls over a mile of broken glass to own, and drive. The symmetry and curves on this beast are a testament to Italian engineering and style encapsulating the 1950s and 60s. The tailored trim interior, immaculately stitched, the futuristic cockpit instruments, the purring V8, the streamlined curves that could easily be found on a space ship in the year 3000.

“Usually when I see a Ferrari, it’s like, yeah, it’s a Ferrari, but when I saw this car, my eyeballs nearly flew out of my noggin, this thing is a work of art, a Michelangelo, a Da Vinci, and it exemplifies La Dolce Vita to a T, or Sophia Lauren’s erect nips after a fast espresso in the morning,” one man said before sitting down sobbing gently into a tissue.

The Roma, is built on pure elegance and style, but don’t give it to James Bond, as it will surely end up a wreck at the bottom of the river Tiber.

Maranello has outdone itself this time for sure, to guarantee best-in-class performance whilst still retaining the stylistic purity of its bloodline, Ferrari’s engineers developed several leading-edge technologies, most notably a mobile rear spoiler integrated into the rear screen designed to retain the car’s formal elegance when retracted and guarantee enough downforce by automatically deploying at high speeds.

As for the interior, buckle up because you could actually live in here for years without ever getting tired of it, the attention to detail is astounding.

Performance wise, 0 – 100kmh in 3.4 seconds is good enough for any designated driver leaving a bank robbery with 20 million euros of loot in the 345 litre capacity boot.

This monochrome Italian stallion delivers 612bhp between 5750 and 7500rpm, with 591lb ft of torque between 3000 and 5750rpm and a top speed over 200kmh.

Driving the Ferrari Roma is an exquisite loin pleasing pleasure with five drive modes, and a Ferrari Dynamic Enhancer function that can control the yaw angle of the car by hydraulically adjusting the brake pressure.

If travelling with a suitable female in the passenger seat, be sure to put a thick towel down before she gets in, as her laced knickers will soon swim with the sheer enthusiasm of the trip back to your place for a coffee.

At a cool starting price of £175,000 ($225,327) the Ferrari Roma is certainly affordable for the rich. If you’re poor though, you’re poo out of luck unless you win the lottery or rob a bank without getting caught — the last point, we do not suggest you do.

Get yours now https://www.ferrari.com/

Fans Celebrate the Amazing Reality That Pete Doherty is Still Alive

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Fans of the modern libertine, Pete Doherty are frankly quite amazed and astounded that their hero, Pete Doherty is still alive.

“Yah, it’s totally amazing! He’s probably done more heroin and Charlie than Keef, and been chucked in prison more times than I can remember, plus he lives a squalid lifestyle that would make a tramp envious,” one fan quipped at a memorial service to another year lived by Doherty.

To define Doherty as a rock star is probably too ambitious, he is more well described as a fucked up NME pop starlet, as his songs do not have an ounce of ballsy rock in them, but are more akin to the jarring jangly tuneless emanations of a cat mewling in pain after it has been partially run over by a car.

 

Doherty’s chosen abode has become the sleazy environs of some Bohemian Parisian district where he delights the French with his bad poetry and entertains the crowds by squirting his rancid blood across the walls of his wrecked rented bijoux apartment whilst stabbing another overused vein.

Parisian fashion designers view the urine and vomit stained clothes of Doherty as an inspiration, an artistic jump into the days of Rimbaud and Baudelaire. Some even have gone to great lengths to recreate Doherty’s fashion sense.

Escaping from the constant harassment in Britain in the noughties, Doherty made a beeline to Paris where he thought he could escape the rozzers, and get more recognition. Sadly, his karma has caught up with him, and once again he’s getting arrested, this time by his French friends, the gendarmerie.

Could Doherty’s long life be down to a bit of fakery? Exuding an outward image of a piss artist yet secretly indulging in a macrobiotic diet and an extensive exercise program?

We will never know, mes amis, but until that time, here is to a long life for monsieur Doherty.

 

The Cold Hard Facts About the Unjust Trial of Roger Stone

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Despite a 2 year multi-million-dollar investigation, Roger Stone is not charged with Russian collusion or Wikileaks collaboration and the government has not charged Stone with having advanced knowledge of the source or content of the Wikileaks disclosures during the 2016 election including John Podesta’s e-mails. Stone is charged with witness tampering, lying to Congress and obstruction. Prior to his being subjected to a broad media gag order, Stone has vigorously contested the charges and entered a “not guilty” plea. ABC News reported that Stone passed two polygraph tests regarding his knowledge of the Wikileaks disclosures prior to his arrest.

On January 20, 2017, the New York Times reported in a page one story that Roger Stone was one of three Trump associates under surveillance by the Obama administration during the 2016 campaign. The print edition headline was “Wiretapped Data Used in Inquiry of Trump Aides”. While the Times softened the headline in their online edition, they have never retracted the story.

Stone testified voluntarily to the House Intelligence Committee the scope of whose investigation was Russian interference in the 2016 Election. In his opening statement that was released to the media, Stone asserted that he did not believe that the Democratic National Committee had been hacked by anybody and cited the forensic evidence in a study by Veteran Intelligence Professionals for Sanity (VIPS) published by the Nation magazine. Stone has insisted that all of his answers to the committee’s questions are consistent with that belief.

Despite a stunning pre-dawn raid on Roger Stone’s home in which 29 FBI agents in full SWAT gear arrested Stone while allowing CNN to film Stone being taken into custody, Judge Amy Berman Jackson has barred Stone’s defense from raising any question regarding misconduct by the FBI, the Department of Justice, the Special Counsel’s office or any member of Congress.

The FBI has refused a Freedom of Information Act request from Judicial Watch for all emails between the FBI and CNN in the days prior to Stone’s arrest. Judicial Watch has filed a lawsuit to obtain this material.

Stone’s case was assigned to Judge Amy Berman Jackson as a “related case” because the government asserted that it was connected to an earlier case brought by Special Counsel Robert Mueller charging 12 alleged Russian intelligence operatives (The Netyksho indictment) with hacking the DNC and providing data to Wikileaks. There has been no discovery in this case which is not likely to go to trial. Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein said no American had violated the law or was knowingly involved in the alleged Russian hacking charged in that case.

Despite the government’s claim that Stone’s case is related to the Russian hacking case prosecutors have nonetheless argued that they need not prove Russian hacking to prosecute Stone.

Judge Amy Berman Jackson has barred Stone’s attorneys from raising the question of whether the DNC was hacked by the Russians and has barred Stone’s defense from putting on witnesses including former Technical Director Bill Binney to provide forensic evidence to challenge the government’s claim.

The government admitted in the discovery phase of Stone’s case that the FBI never inspected the computer servers of the Democratic National Committee and relied on redacted draft report from Crowdstrike, a third-party IT firm closely associated with Hilary Clinton’s campaign. Judge Amy Berman Jackson has barred Stone’s defense from seeing an unredacted copy of the Crowdstrike report after arguments by lawyers for the Democratic National Committee and the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. Both were represented by Hilary Clinton’s lawyer Mark Elias. The government was so badly stung by the revelation that they relied on the Crowdstrike report that they would file a sur reply  in Stone’s case insisting they had independent verification of the DNC hacking by Russia but have provided no evidence whatsoever of this claim.

Despite the Mueller report asserting that multiple witnesses had lied to Special Counsel investigators and with substantial evidence that former DNI Director James Clapper, former FBI Director James Comey, former FBI agent Peter Strozk and former deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe all lied to Congress, Judge Jackson has barred Stone from arguing that he is being selectively prosecuted.

The chief prosecutor for the Office of Special Counsel in Stone’s case was Jeannie Rhee who represented Hilary Clinton and the Clinton Foundation and gave the maximum allowable contribution to both Hilary’s 2008 and 2016 campaigns. Stone is barred from raising this conflict of interest at trial.

Congressman Adam Schiff, Congressman Eric Swallwell and Congressman Joaquin Castro all violated House rules by discussing Stone’s classified testimony with multiple media outlets. All three Congressmen said Stone would be charged with lying to the committee.  The Washington Post reported that the Special Counsel’s office had an “advance copy” of Stone’s testimony prior to the full committee voting to release the testimony to the Special Counsel. Contrary to multiple pledges for the public release of Stone’s testimony by now chairman Adam Schiff, Stone’s testimony remains classified and is not publicly available.

Stone claims that his source as to the significance and October timing of the Wikileaks disclosures is Randy Credico. Stone has released over 30 unedited and sequential text messages to prove his assertion. The government has, nonetheless, charged Stone with lying to the House Intelligence Committee regarding Credico being his source.

On February 15,2017 the Special Counsel filed documents regarding two Twitter direct messages from Stone, one to Wikileaks and the other to Guciffer 2.0. The media widely reported these disclosures as the “smoking gun” connecting Wikileaks to the Trump Campaign. In fact, Stone had supplied the text of both messages to the House Intelligence Committee as well as releasing them publicly. Both were widely covered in the media. Neither contained any evidence of collaboration or coordination by Stone.

Former Trump attorney Michael Cohen testified before Congress that he overheard a conversation between Roger Stone and candidate Donald Trump regarding the Wikileaks disclosures. Cohen has produced no corroboration of this claim. Cohen initially said the alleged phone call took place in July, only to later say the conversation took place in August of 2016. President Donald Trump has denied any such conversation with Roger Stone in his answer to his written questions submitted by the Special Counsel. Stone also denied Cohen’s claim.

Conservative author Jerry Corsi has written and said that the Office of Special Counsel threatened to indict him unless he testified that he was the link between Wikileaks and Roger Stone. Corsi refused and has denied any communication with Julian Assange or Wikileaks. Corsi has not been charged by the Special Counsel.

The Washington Times has reported that fired Trump White House Aide Steve Bannon will testify against Stone in his upcoming trial.  On August 2017 Stone wrote an article urging The President to fire Bannon. The article was picked up by the Drudge Report. 24 Hours later Bannon was fired.

It has been widely reported in the media that former Paul Manafort deputy Rick Gates will be a government witness against Stone and that prosecutors have allowed him to avoid incarceration despite having been convicted of making false statements and conspiracy, pending his testimony in Stone’s trial.

Stone will go to trial in the DC Circuit with the jury pool selected from DC residents who voted 90% for Hilary Clinton and 6% of whom are registered Republicans.

Prince Harry to Join “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here”

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Having had enough of being in the royal ‘fish bowl’ Prince Harry is taking a break from the Windsors and his demanding wife with a stint in the jungle away from everything apart from the celeb gossip columns and TV cameras.

The royal is in talks with ITV to join the reality jungle show along with disgraced biased Speaker of the House, John Bercow.

Palace officials are said to be rather relieved about the Prince’s adventure into the jungle, as it will take off some of the pressure off the royals and negative news about Meghan.

“We are happy that Prince Harry is going to the jungle where he will be forced to eat the raw testicles of some unfortunate animal on camera purely for the enjoyment of TV audiences and ratings from the producers of the show. We are sure the prince will take to it like a cuck to water.”

The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan will stay at home, simply because she cannot travel to the jungle without her entourage of 75 assistants.

Prince Harry is still negotiating a suitable fee for his jungle appearance with the producers of the show, which should be quite a high figure.

The last time the royals were seen on telly in something similar was in 1987, in It’s a Royal Knockout when 18 million people tuned in, the fourth biggest audience for 1987, and more than 400 million viewers worldwide saw it later.

Brexit Strategy: Farage Must Not Endanger Conservative Votes

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Yes, the deal is not perfect, but it must be given a chance, and this is why it is imperative that Nigel Farage’s troops only concentrate on areas where the Tories have no chance of winning, which are Leave majority constituencies.

Splitting the vote in key areas will only give the advantage to the Remoaner Lib Dem MPs and SNP who are utilising nefarious tactics to try and bolster a large group of traitors in parliament to stop Brexit completely.

Mr Farage should of course be honoured for his amazing work over twenty years to get to this stage, however, he must also know when to hold back as to not endanger a parliamentary majority of Brexiteers.

Ideally, a pact between the Tories and Brexit Party would ensure a thorough soaking of the Remoaner MPs who wish to thwart democracy and Brexit, but at this time it seems like wishful thinking. Unfortunately, the Conservatives are very party centric, and are not thinking wholly about the nation by uniting with the Brexit Party.

As Labour under Corbyn is on the ropes, this is now the time for Team Farage and the Tories to capitalise on their weakness, especially under their anti-Semitic stance.

For the good of the nation, all Brexiteers must band together and Brexit with dignity, and unity.

Jeremy Corbyn to Visit America to Teach Them About Good Quality Food

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Campaign officials for the Labour party are organising a quick trip to America for Jeremy Corbyn so he can teach Americans about the low quality of their food.

“Here in the Labour party we detest Americans with a vengeance, and I am going to go to  show the Seppo Yankee capitalist bastards that their diet is sub par. What with chlorinated chicken, rat hairs and maggots in their canned goods, it’s awful. In Islington, we all shop at Waitrose, and like all good champagne socialists, enjoy the highest quality prosecco,” Jeremy Corbyn revealed at a recent Labour rally about food banks for the proles.

Corbyn’s itinerary for the trip is already planned, he will land in New York next week, then make his way to Washington D.C. and travel through many American towns telling the Americans how disgusting their food is.

Labour campaign manager, Minnie Stroney, is adamant that the trip will be a major election winner back home in old Blighty.

“This trip will showcase the Labour party’s skill in getting things done. We want to show that a Boris Johnson Trump trade deal will lower our food standards to the level of Americans. Do they have kebabs, eel pie and chips, and deep fried mars bars in batter in Kentucky, USA? Thought not. When we win the election we will stop Brexit and tell Trump to take his disgusting American diet back to his chlorinated chicken house.”

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