Record Number of Britons Leaving Sinking Ship UK for Better Life Abroad

LONDON - England - With the streets full of feral hoodies intent on violence, Eastern European criminal gangs, no police, horrible weather, the sky high expense of living in misery, overcrowded, overpopulated, high pollution and traffic, chavs, thousands of CCTV cameras and increasing Big Brother society - What is the point in staying in the UK any more?

Doherty Honoured by Queen at Buckingham Palace

LONDON - England - Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II honoured Pete Doherty with an MBE for his services to drug taking and avoiding arrest this afternoon.

Doherty Glad to be Back in Prison

LEYHILL PRISON - England - Pete Doherty is back in jail today. He is glad to be back in the UK prison system and proclaims the crack cocaine and heroin is actually much purer than the street.