Comrade Brown Creates the Peoples Bank

NEWCASTLE - England - Comrade Gordon Brown has instructed Comrade Darling to create a Peoples Bank.

Hated Heather Mills to Settle in Iraq

BAGHDAD - Iraq - After winning a record £55 million from chump, Sir Paul McCartney, ex-glamour model, Heather Mills and the most hated person in the world. Lady Mucca, is to escape Britain and live in Baghdad.

British Teens to be Cautioned for First Time Murder Offences

LONDON - England - Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has announced new Labour laws to reduce violent crime in the British Isles. The breakthrough laws will also reduce police paperwork and increase efficiency within the law and enforcement sectors.