Thrown to the dogs by his own mother, brother and niece, a befuddled Prince Andrew really was lost, until a chink of light broke through the winter darkness.
January, is always a fucker of a month, however for Andrew it has been an absolute motherfucker of a month. His military medals have been taken away, his HRH rescinded, and he is now known as a pariah to everyone in Britain.
On Thursday night, Andrew received a phone call from Montecito, California. Harry and Meghan have already made up a room for Andrew in their 16 bathroom mansion in Montecito.
“They could call it the ‘exile mansion’ or something like that. I am sure the now exiled Prince Andrew was delighted at the offer of sanctuary from the royal family that kicked him out so unceremoniously. The only problem with the plan is the small thing about prison. Andrew will be on American soil, and there will be no long extradition battle if he was still in Blighty. He could always escape to Mexico or somewhere in South America though, you know do an Escobar,” royal commentator, Keith Melons, revealed in the Sun.
Netflix executives have been scrambling at the news and are anticipating a huge ratings bonanza when Andrew turns up at the Montecito mansion, where filming for the Harry and Meghan series will take a new turn.
If all that does not work out, there’s always room in some shack on the Falkland Isles. It’s a place close to the heart of the fallen war hero who flew helicopters for his country, that has now abandoned him.
Gerald Hopkins, 57, a farmer from Goose Green, Falklands, said the wayward prince is always welcome.
“Aye, he’s [Andrew] always welcome here on the Falkland Isles. We don’t have many young fillies here but plenty of sheep. Don’t knock it until you try it, matey.”