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HomeWorldBeyond Satire: Home Office Can't Find Rwanda Migrants

Beyond Satire: Home Office Can’t Find Rwanda Migrants

DOVER - England - According to reports, the Home Office can't find thousands of Rwanda migrants booked for deportation.

The flights are ready on the runway, the Rwanda Bill has been passed in parliament, and the luxury hotel staff are waiting in Rwanda for the illegal immigrant deportations. There’s only one problem — the people who are meant to be deported to Rwanda have gone missing. Has anyone seen the Rwanda migrants?


Home Office spokesman, Martha Blunder, refused to take the blame for the fiasco.

“If we can find a migrant to deport we will try to deport them to Rwanda, but until that time occurs we shall be looking for the illegal migrants so we can prove that the Rwanda flights are a deterrent to the Channel crossings.”

Meanwhile, the illegal boat crossings continue to land on British shores from France, all escorted across the Channel by the French Navy.

“Les Rosbifs are having fun, non? We deliver the migrants to them, they then lose them, and the whole process begins again with the next batch. Quelle farce!” French Navy captain, Gilles de Merde, told Euronews.

Rishi Sunak’s government have pledged that empty flights will still go to Rwanda.

“We have already paid 560 billion to the Rwanda scheme, so we will send empty flights to Rwanda. I sincerely believe this will deter the traffickers and illegal migrants. Don’t forget to vote for me at the next election.”


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