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Adolf Hitler’s Soiled Underpants Sold For $6,737 at US Auction

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The brutal dictator Hitler’s briefs, which have a ‘surprisingly large’ 39-inch waist and are initialled ‘A.H.’, were left behind in a suite at the luxury Parkhotel Graz in Austria after he stayed there in December 1941.

The Führer had been staying in the hotel when he heard the news of Germany’s defeat at the hands of the Russians during the ill-fated Operation Barbarossa invasion of Russia.

Auctioneer Ronnie Papadapadapapoulos said he believed the underwear was sent to the hotel’s laundry department but were rejected and were only returned after Hitler and his entourage had checked out in a hurry.

The seller was the grandson of the hotel’s owners at the time.

Ronnie, who owns Bilko’s Historical Auctions in Takoma Park, Maryland, where the 19-inch long white linen shorts sold for $6,737 (£4,991) to a private buyer, said they were in ‘pristine shit stained’ condition.

He added: “People were flocking to this Adolf Hitler underwear like bluebottles to a freshly laid steamy doggy turd.

“This is a very rare item, I mean it’s gotta Hitler shit stain directly down the back. People can actually smell it even after all those years.

“They were retained in the family who owned the hotel, which is very prestigious, for almost 80 years, and when we got them they were wrapped in tissue paper in a box. The smell is still slightly there but over time it has faded. Nevertheless, it shows that Hitler was just a human, he shit his pants when the Russians pushed the Jerries out of Russia.

“It’s a fascinating thing. It’s as close as you can get to Adolf Hitler, literally.”

Ronnie, 58, who ruled out selling the shorts to any member of the political far right before the auction, added: “I imagine the buyer would probably frame the shorts. It would be the most talked about relic in the house.”

Hitler stayed in the hotel a week before Germany was pushed out of Russia with a terrible defeat for the German army and Ronnie believes Hitler was touring the country ahead of returning to his retreat in the Bavarian mountains to lick his wounds.

The item’s description read: “A monogrammed pair of Adolf Hitler’s striped white linen under shorts with a 12.5 inch skid mark in the back. The shorts are surprisingly large – 19-inches long, with a waist of about 39 inches.”

Naive Theresa May So Gullible She Falls For Nigerian Email Scam

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Poor old Theresa May, she hasn’t been having a good time of it lately. Scammed by the EU to extend Brexit by an extra two years so that the EU can charge Britain through the teeth, then add on an extra leaving bill on after that — May has committed the UK to financial slavery to the EU for many years to come.

According to Theresa May’s senior aides, the PM is so gullible that she actually replied to a Nigerian email scam asking her to deposit $4.5 billion in an account in Lagos. Theresa May was so taken by the email in her inbox, that she bypassed key Treasury clearance protocols and okayed the funds herself, much to the chagrin of the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

“She’s so naive, and gullible that we have to keep an eye on her at all times,” another Number 10 staff member told the Telegraph.

The letter that Theresa May received was the classic Nigerian scam, and after much wrangling we were able to get some excerpts:

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakundo Elotunde, the second cousin once removed of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Mnongo Elotunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 5 space station in 1978. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-15Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-15Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humour, but wants to come home.

In the 27-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15 billion American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 4.5 billion American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Thankfully, the gullible PM was thwarted from sending any funds to Nigeria on Friday, when senior Treasury staff were alerted to the PM’s actions and stepped in to stop the money transfer at the last moment.

“Luckily we saved not only the PM’s blushes, but the taxpayer from falling foul from this terrible scam. We would like to alert anyone else who thinks about replying to any such email not to do so. Only the dumbest, most naive gullible idiot would fall for such a see-through scam, isn’t that right Mrs May?” the Foreign Secretary quipped during a press meeting on Monday.

Uber Re-branded As Luber

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The former taxi company Uber is re-branding its image and name after losing the almighty London contract thanks to Labour Mayor Sadiq Khan and TFL.

“Our new image now is a big tube of lube, that’s why we’re now called Luber,” Chief marketing strategist in charge of the project, Slippy Slider told the Evening Standard.

The multi-million pound rebranding operation took two minutes to conceive thanks to the help of advertising agency Kitch Flannel Joelkins who won the contract after a massive bidding war between rival agencies.

“I was at my Madam’s house, who I visit every Tuesday. I had just been given the Uber rebranding contract and just as I was slipping into my latex suit I stepped on a large tube of Lube and hit my head on the Madam’s boot. Picking up the tube of lube, I immediately made the connection UBER – LUBER,” creative consultant, Miles Abergumber revealed.

Well, now that there will not be any Uber cabs in London, former clients can rest assured that the Uber board of directors will be using plenty of Luber lube. Let us congratulate Luber on its new business direction.

 

That Theresa May No Brexit Florence Speech in Full

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Wiff waff wiff waff gurgle gurgle Philip Hammond told me to wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff

squidgie squodge squodge wiff waff Brexit delayed till 2021…our EU friends and

Remoaners wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff cough coughety cough Boris sit down and be a good

boy now, shhhhh, no Brexit till 2025 wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff 5,000 word essay on

nothing wiff waff wiff waff UK will pay Brussels whatever they want wiff waff wiff waff wiff

waffle waffle waffle waffle bullshit! Wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff European Courts of Justice

wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff sold off Britain for a pittance wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff anal

beads waffle waffle waffle Boris stay sitting down there’s a good boy, heel! Wiff waff wiff

waff shoe shopping in Milan waffle waffle waffle cough gurgle our dear EU friends wiff waff

wiff waff Brexit will not happen until 2021 wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff passporting wiff waff

wiff waff no Boris keep your fat buttocks on that chair wiff waff wiff waff no Brexit till 2021

Beastie Boys wiff waff wiff waff  remoan remoan remoan ad infinitum…….

Mel Brooks Right On How Political Correctness Killing Comedy

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Mel Brooks, a giant, a monster of comedic timing and innuendo has chimed in on the current political correct censorship malaise infecting the climate of comedic discourse these days.

“It’s not good for comedy. Comedy has to walk a thin line, take risks,” he said.

“Comedy is the lecherous little elf whispering in the king’s ear, always telling the truth about human behaviour.”

Offending anyone is now pretty much forbidden, jokes are not allowed that relate to anything that is about human society or culture, the newspapers are filled with socialist snowflake censors masquerading as ‘journalists’ when they would not look out of place in the Ministry of Truth in George Orwell’s 1984 or some deranged feminazi re-education facility in Soviet Russia.

 

The media establishments from the right to the left are now censorship driven indoctrinated propaganda machines that constantly drive the politically correct message to their brainwashed audience. If for one second there is any dissent or an opposing opinion in the comments section, it is immediately deleted. There is now very little distinction between any mainstream media organization with regards to the PC agenda.

The level of indoctrination of course comes firstly from the education system, where the latest generation are now called ‘snowflakes’ alluding to their propensity to be constantly offended by everything.

 

Melt You

To live a life as a ‘snowflake generation’ member must be truly intolerable, it is a state of perpetual distress, constant Marxist marching with ridiculous signs aloft, and the threat of ones ‘safe space‘ being invaded so horribly that suicide probably crosses their intolerant blinkered micro-aggression frazzled minds on a constant basis. These are people who are supposed to be progressives but cannot progress above any thought apart from following other ‘snowflakes’ like lemmings onto the next useless dehumanising cause. Just fucking kill yourselves already, at least this will free up some carbon emissions on the planet.

 

Thanks to these sovietized brainwashed jerks, comedy and humour is now something you find from watching past comedians and shows. The sad part is that it will get worse, and worse, like some sort of sharia ISIS wet dream, the last of the comedian warriors will be strung up, whipped and dragged through the streets in front of jeering politically correct crowds dressed all in grey suits.

Is there a flicker of light at the end of this dystopian humourless socialist nightmare we are all now forced to live in? Everything is now censored to death, to laugh is now a crime, freedom of expression is a pipe dream that can only be realised by shutting up shop and living a life of silence.

Yes, one can achieve true freedom of speech.

Here is how:

  1. Only write on a typewriter, paper, or a computer not connected to the internet.
  2. Never publish your words. Don’t worry about this one, because no one in the current PC malaise will publish you any way.
  3. Read your words yourself and chuckle to yourself. Never show another soul what you wrote.

Why Being Anti-EU Does Not Mean You Are Anti-Europe

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Let us clear a few things up here. Europe is a beautiful continent with wonderful people, each country within Europe have their own customs, their own cuisine, and in all respects Europe is a great place to travel or live in — however, the EU, is a separate body to Europe, and this distinction is an important one.

EU is a Separate Body to Europe

The EU is a totalitarian state moving towards a super-state which will have its own autonomous army led by the Bundeswehr (German army). An EU army will not only be a threat to NATO but Russia will be coaxed eventually into conflict with this massive army on their very doorstep. The EU high command will want to achieve what Napoleon, and Hitler could not achieve.

The EU is a pseudo fascistic soviet construct that was catapulted into supremacy after the Berlin Wall fell and Stasi agents swarmed into the system.

Not only is the EU run by unelected bureaucrats, but it is a monolithical Borg-like juggernaut that overruns nations first economically, then slowly strips each nation of its identity and wealth.

Unless you have communistic soviet values, there is no reason in hell why you want to be a subjugate of the EU, to have freedom-stripping restrictive laws dictated to you each day, to have unjust fines and red tape put on your business sectors, and to have no say in how you spend your own money. Why on earth would anyone want to agree to such a thing, unless you are stupid or lazy, or both?

What about the Schengen zone, a utopian idea which is inherently a good one in a world where there is no crime, terrorism or war? Here is a zone where there are no checks on the border leading to a vast corridor where heavy arms, drugs, sex trafficking, human trafficking and terrorists can travel with ease. Every time there is another terrorist atrocity, think about how those guys were aided by the Schengen zone — an idea that the EU Commission, an unelected body refuse to curtail to even stop these attacks on Europeans. It does not matter how many troops you have on the streets flashing their guns, the terrorists simply move around freely from one spot to another.

There is also a serious disparity within the EU nations. The poor South opposed to the rich North. As of now, there is a vast population movement from the poor EU nations who entrench and colonise the richer nations in the EU. This mass migratory economically related movement has fuelled a serious disparity in the EU, and without balance of some sort, there will eventually be a tipping point, either with an economic crash or with serious civil unrest.

EU is Undemocratic

The major sticking point with the EU, is that it is undemocratic. Even the current EU president, Jean Claude Juncker has no qualms about admitting this :

On British calls for a referendum over Lisbon Treaty

“Of course there will be transfers of sovereignty. But would I be intelligent to draw the attention of public opinion to this fact?,”

On French referendum over EU constitution

“If it’s a Yes, we will say ‘on we go’, and if it’s a No we will say ‘we continue’,”

On the introduction of the euro

“We decide on something, leave it lying around, and wait and see what happens. If no one kicks up a fuss, because most people don’t understand what has been decided, we continue step by step until there is no turning back.”

In fact the EU is so undemocratic, it is nigh on impossible to get out of it. We see this with Brexit, and how the unelected leaders seek to make it as hard as possible to leave. This mafia-like construct is the anti-thesis of everything that should reside in a Western democracy, and to find it deep in Europe like some octopus grip over nations is a sad sight to behold.

Mikhail Gorbachev, the former Soviet leader once stood back, post-perestroika and glasnost, looked at the EU and said in wonderment:

“The most puzzling development in politics during the last decade is the apparent determination of Western European leaders to re-create the Soviet Union in Western Europe.”

It is also with great puzzlement and bewilderment that there would be people in the UK or in any democratic nation who would not oppose the undemocratic sovietized EU. However, one only has to see the outraged Remoaners, brainwashed youth and Marxist politicians on the extreme left who do not oppose being ruled over by the EU. Therefore, one can only conclude that communism is once again making large inroads amongst large swathes of Britain’s population. One only has to read history to see that communism is not only a mass killing doctrine of about 160 million people, but it is a severely limiting construct on human freedom, and anyone who supports the EU is supporting this evil communistic agenda.

Will they ever wake up from their stupor? Who knows? Once these people have been brainwashed by EU soviet propaganda and conditioning over many years, they are either so weak minded or unintelligent that they know nothing else.

Within Britain today, treachery against democracy and freedom is very much alive. These Remoaners want us to live in an EU prison forever, and they will gladly relinquish their own Britishness for it, sell off their own countrymen, without qualms. These Lord and Lady Haw Haws need to either wake up or be somehow shut down, as they are inherently a danger to the democratic functioning of our nation.

Lib Dems Want to Force Brits to All Wear EU Berets

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During a recent Liberal Democrat conference in Bournemouth, Sir Vince Cable, the Lib Dem leader announced the proposed changes to compulsory head wear.

“As Lib Dem leader and Chief Remoaner for Britain, I say to all our members that this EU beret is a jolly good idea. Once we reverse Brexit and are back in the comforting arms of Brussels, we shall make it law that every British EU citizen wear an EU beret at all times, even when asleep or in the shower.”

The Lib Dem leader was then asked by one member whether they could take off the EU beret whilst swimming?

“Absolutely not! All swimming baths will have special rubber EU berets on hand to give to swimmers to replace their woolly ones.”

EU Sharia Beret Law

Another EU beret wearing Lib Dem then asked Mr. Cable whether dead people or people in hospital surgery would be prosecuted for not wearing an EU beret?

“At all times means at all times. Even if you’re dead in a coffin, you and your relatives will be prosecuted if found not to be wearing an EU beret. We have to show our profound love for Brussels at all times. Astronauts will not be exempt, and neither will the Queen. In fact, Her Royal Highness will have to wear an EU beret over her crown and if she doesn’t, she too would be prosecuted under EU law.”

Luckily, the changes will only take place after Brexit is reversed by the Lib Dems.

Tricks of Wise Binary Options Trading

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What Wise Traders Do

Wise traders are savvy people, mistrustful of other people, who always want to act on their own initiative. They want to make their own trading decisions, and even when they follow trade signals provided by someone else, they still apply their own criteria and decide not to follow some of the trade signals.

Wise binary options trading is no different, and wise binary option traders are mistrustful of big promises and effortless money, they know that big profits are possible only through some kind of personal effort.

So instead of focusing on popular stocks, such as Apple, or trading in the way that is most
popular to trade, wise traders think differently. They will trade less popular stocks, they will
trade binary options on two different stocks, and they will look to achieve true limited risk
trades. By definition all binary options offer limited risk, since the initial premium is all you can lose.

But wise binary traders take into account price and time analysis, probability patterns, and the possibility to make synthetic binary option trades. A synthetic binary option trade is one which consists of 2 or more carefully selected binary options, so that big risk is really limited, and so that the payout of one option offsets the cost of buying the other.

These trading methods were developed by classic stock option traders in previous decades, they are not new concepts. It’s just that binary traders who know what they are doing, implement these old concepts using binary options and sometimes they combine them with a directional trade, such as a CFD trade, on the same underlying market.

binary options inverse

Wise Traders are Specialists

Wise binary options trading is not different, and is about being a specialist. Even if you know a market extremely well, as far as the direction it will take, you can still be wrong on the timing and this means that a binary option will expire worthless. On markets such as EURUSD for example, is best to devise partially directional trades, with hedging insurance.

You can make it so that you will make no profit if the market rises by 100 pips over 3 days, you will get your money back if starts dropping, and you will make a small, high probability profit if it does rise by more than 100 pips over 3 days. This can be done with a combination of binary options alone, or with the use of one more CFD trade. The point is that you can be wrong on the timing and still not lose money, or stand to lose too little compared to what you can make.

Most markets are hard to predict on both price and time at the same time, there are scalping strategies where this can work. But in most cases, and for most markets, predictability of both price and time seems to exist between the one week and two week period.

And this can work just fine with hedged trades where the options expire in 2 or 3 days, you simply place a series of these trades one after the other.

Thirty minute binary options can also be profitable, using similar synthetic, hedged trades, and by taking advantage of specific time zones in the forex market. EURUSD for example is likely to touch new price levels during the London or New York trading session, and very likely not to touch new levels, during the Asian trading session.

Synthetic hedged trades make less or much less profit than simple outright trades, but the probability of a profit, over many trades is extremely high.

Trade Binary Options Wisely

‘Mother’ Film About Social Liberalism and the Planet

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When a film as misunderstood as Mother is doing the rounds and riling the cinema going masses, one has to pay attention to the source of agitation.

Mother is inherently about liberal socialism and how it eventually leads to destruction, either when all the money runs out, or too many people ruin the party.

Liberalism is permissive and inclusive to a point, but this permissiveness without filters always leads to an overcrowded, chaotic mess where all semblance of order is diminished in the end. There are contradictions to the model of socialist progressives, especially in the United States, where they say they are for free speech yet censor anything that is not their liberal point of view, look at socialist companies like Google and Facebook. The modern liberal social justice warrior that we find these days, find themselves portraying a stance that they are inclusive and progressive, however when it comes to opposing points of view especially from a conservative angle, they have some cut-off point and only see things in their blinkered socialist viewpoint.

By allowing some of all, liberal socialists also allow all sorts of nastiness into their home, and from there things spiral. Look at socialist Venezuela today in a state of anarchy and civil war. Look at America’s black problem, created mainly by liberals and their policies over many years, the problem is getting worse every day. American liberals have basically enabled the majority of the black population to continue a lifetime of poverty by pushing the welfare system onto them, and once in there it is very hard to get out of, especially when African Americans are taught from youth by the system to be dependent on welfare.

In the Internationalist sense, being permissive and inclusive with regards to the human diaspora is always a good thing, however it must be tempered with solid, knowledgeable judgement and a smattering of exclusivity.

The film is also an allegory on how allowing everything without barrier into your own house (planet) you eventually are the harbinger of your own destruction. We can see this today in an overcrowded, overpopulated, polluted Malthusian nightmare of a planet ruled by liberals, albeit, greedy ones. Our whole planet’s eco system has been plundered and robbed by the same people who are now preaching about climate change and preserving the environment. This ultimate hypocrisy committed by the ruling liberal elite is one of the main reasons why many cannot take them seriously.

However one views the allegorical context of the film, whether in a religious Christian context, political or societal, the film is quite clear cut in its message. We as a species are the bringers of our own doom, and the time we are at now, is the time when we will either excel to higher bounds, or deteriorate to the level of extinction, from which the eternal mother will make a circular rotation either starting with us again, or most likely without us.

Whatever happens, the universe will carry on existing as if nothing happened, even if there is a total extinction event.

Daily Squib Publishing Acquires 67% Stake in Rolling Stone Magazine Sale

“It’s more a sign of the times. There is little or no rock’n’roll any more. We had only sub-par r’n’b acts in the charts, and shite electronica that anyone who has a pc and some software can conjure up in five minutes. This is the music biz today, no music that will knock the bones outta you any more. Just crap. There’s only so many times you can have Jay z and Beyonce on the front cover,” founder Jann Wenner told the Rolling Stone magazine in its last issue.

This latest Daily Squib acquisition was made for the princely sum of 67 cents. Another three publishing companies bid for the rest of the 33 cents out of the full dollar purchase price.

“It was first come first served. The Squib were in there like a mouth open groupie waiting on a backstage pass. We want to turn around the music press, we want to change demand back to the guitar, to wailing vocals and rock stars that blow their brains out over their audiences. If we eradicate all this other background noise and create a new enriched vibe for guitar driven music we will have gone back to the roots of rock’n’roll. Bands will start popping up again who actually want to feel the spirit of rock again, not this douche hip hop rap r’n’b ponce stuff that is not musically viable and is awful torrid template stuff that is churned over ad infinitum,” our editor said today.

The good news is in a few weeks time the music biz will be back to its normal self again, the bad news is it may take some serious cardiac electroshocking to get there because the state of the biz is so bad.