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Theresa May Wants My Organ and Yours Too

Donna Kriton
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Theresa May Wants My Organ and Yours Too

Ain’t that great, whether I like it or not, my internal organs or organ are up for grabs thanks to the new Theresa May directive pushed at the latest Tory conference by a spluttering, coughing old bint well past her sell by date.

“I actually felt very sad for the PM watching her speech, if that’s what you want to call it, it was a real tear jerker and she managed to soldier on to the end coughing up half a lung, when even the letters were falling off the sign behind her. Walking off stage with her P45 in her pocket, she looked like a broken woman. I believe I shed a few tears to see such a sad distraught creature wilting along. She can have my organ, she can have my kidneys, my liver, whatever, stick ’em in a bowl with some fava beans and a bottle of nice Chianti,” a Tory conference attendee said after Theresa May finished her speech.

Luckily, one can opt out of having their organs harvested out to some Nigerian NHS-tourist in for the weekend to have a lung transplant, then absconding without paying a penny to anyone.

Yes, there are people who need organs urgently, your best bet is to go to China where you can have anything ordered, and served up to you in a jiffy from one of the many convicts who are killed off daily and have their organs harvested on the spot via a special van that appears out of nowhere to do the dirty deed.

Maybe Theresa May could introduce such a scheme in Britain, how about parking the van outside parliament?

Is the iPhone X Worth the Money?

Donna Kriton
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Is the iPhone X Worth the Money?

Introduced at Apple’s September 2017 event, this iPhone X was added to the iPhone 8 and 8+ with the ‘one more thing…’ tagline. It is, according to Apple, the biggest technological leap forward since the iPhone first appeared a decade ago.

The Body

It fits comfortably in the hand, its dimension a pleasant 143.6mm tall by a width of 70.9mm, its depth a very slim 7.7mm. It’s a fraction bigger than the iPhone 8 but doesn’t quite reach the dimensions of the iPhone 8+.

But its glass body really is something else. Water and dust resistant, the iPhone X supports wireless charging for the first time, meaning no tangle of wires.

No Home Button

Its edge to edge design means no home button and this means a new user experience which translates into the user being frustrated in the first few days and weeks as they change habits that have been with them for years.

A swipe at the bottom of the screen brings the home screen, whilst a swipe-and-hold brings up the app switcher.

There is a side button to activate Siri if you use this system because who knows who’s listening in?

The Screen

Apple’s aim was simple, yet complex: create a phone that’s is all about display. The super-retina display with its 5.8inch front screen will, no doubt, be welcomed by many users, but especially gamers. The true-to-life colours and the million to one contrast ratio will make online gaming at sites such as Casinomir more immersive than ever.

The screen melts into the stainless band on the durable, all glass body and is available in two finishes: a sleek and chic space grey or a stylish silver. So, the screen technology is worth it, but what about the rest of it?

Face Recognition

Just as most of us are getting to grips with fingerprint recognition along comes the iPhone X and switches it up a gear. Forget the unique pattern on the fingertip – there is no room for the reader – but the all-glass front has super-duper technology that recognises your face.

For those of us worried about security, no one can unlock your phone by wafting a photo of you across its front. The ‘Face Id’ tech is “attention aware”; it only unlocks the phone when you look at it (or does it?).

Performance and Battery

The performance cores are 25% faster, with high-efficiency cores a staggering 70% than anything Apple has used in the phones previously. And for those of us constantly scrolling and surfing on our phones, the iPhone X offers an improved battery performance with two hours extra scrolling time that the iPhone 7.

Worth the Cash?

There are a load more features to the iPhone 10 including a fantastic camera and Animojis to needlessly fill our day. There is no doubt that this handset is a gigantic leap, although the jury is out on how far forward it takes us.

If you have the cash and love the tech, go for it. For the rest of us, hang fire… and let’s see who comes up with something similar for a fraction of the price.

Tory Conference P45 Special : What the Hell is Going On Here?

Donna Kriton
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Tory Conference P45 Special : What the Hell is Going On Here?

According to the Tories, and the times we now live in, there is a new composite PM operating at this year’s conference. In true gender bending trans style, we now have a Prime Minister called Boresetha Mayohnson, who keep giving each other P45s every few minutes.

“You take it!”

“No, you take it!”

“You’re weak and ineffectual!”

“Yes, but I’ll still keep you in the Cabinet!”

And so on..

Messy

The thing is, something has to give sooner or later. Many are rooting for Boris Johnson to win over this dastardly messy partnership, and the rest are rooting for Theresa May, who at this juncture looks like she’s melting away into nothingness, especially with the bounding energy of Boris Johnson prancing about the shadows.

Who is going to be the next PM to take Britain out of the EU properly, where Brexit actually means Brexit?

It’s all up in the air, and meanwhile the cult leader Corbyn strengthens his brainwashed recruitment numbers every day.

Who knows, maybe Reese-Mogg may flank them all and plonk himself in the hot seat, one way or another there has to be a change at the top soon or it will only get worse, causing more Labour gains and a Brexit that never happens.

Democracy the EU Way

Donna Kriton
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Democracy the EU Way

Head EU Stasi official, Nils Molotov, revealed that the EU operation to stifle democracy had been a total success.

“Ve haff halted any form of democracy from coming into effect through the use of extreme violence against voters in the Catalan Referendum. Our orders are to halt any other referendum since the British swine conducted their democratic right to a referendum in 2016, which resulted in Brexit. Democracy will not be tolerated in the EU. All democratic voters are to be treated with extreme prejudice and a good kick up the backside.”

No Democracy Allowed in EU

Although the EU stormtroopers stopped many from voting, the 90% result for independence for Catalonia was summarily rejected by the EU and Spain, and the democratically held referendum labelled as illegal.

Jean Claude Juncker was adamant that the use of violence to thwart the democratic process was justified: “We can’t have people exercising the right to democracy in the EU. If this ever happens, there will not be an EU left. This is why we ordered the stormtroopers to stop the democracy from happening. Not on my watch will there be democracy..tch.. We are already stopping the Britisher schweinhunds by delaying their Brexit as much as possible and that idiot Theresa May is so gullible and naive she believes what we say to her (laughs out). No, mes amis, no democracy in the EU. We have rules for a reason, and democracy is against all of these rules made by the unelected EU Commission.”

As Jean Claude Juncker once said during a referendum where the French people were asked if there should be more EU and less democracy:

“If it’s a Yes, we will say ‘on we go’, and if it’s a No we will say ‘we continue’.”

ISIS Hits Evil Las Vegas Jackpot

Donna Kriton
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0
ISIS Hits Evil Las Vegas Jackpot

In a repeat of the Bataclan music massacre in Paris, looks like ISIS have hit another one of their grotesque headline grabbing jackpots.

This time, the trophy are many dead Trump voting American concert goers at a Las Vegas Country music festival.

The continual chugging sound of machine gun fire resonates through the night sky as bullets tear through the bodies of more innocents caught up in the chaos. How this sort of horror justifies anything is beyond comprehension, but presumably to a wild eyed Jihadist, heavily indoctrinated and maybe on some sort of amphetamine, it is a free for all, and every bullet that hits is justified in their belief system?

How Trump will react to this is not clear, but for someone who is a staunch anti-Islamist, he will no doubt find a way to increase the pain, although he has been wholly ineffectual since becoming president?

The current governmental position is that there is no terrorism involved, although the evidence may change in the next few days. Of course, it could be the other way, and ISIS falsely puts their mark on a domestic nutcase who went on a shooting spree, either way, the truth may never be known.

For ISIS, this latest shooting spree will no doubt be seen as a great victory, and it seems there is movement to increasing attacks on the West, as a direct response to Middle Eastern incursions resulting in the loss of their territory.

Unfortunately, time is on the side of ISIS and all the other Jihadist organisations. They have all the time in the world to conduct these operations over and over again, for centuries if need be, that is unless the so-called Western meddling in the Middle East ceases.

The Jihadists do not only have all the time in the world, but they have an unlimited amount of brainwashed assets ready and waiting in the wings for the next massacre of Westerners. As the West utilises drones and bombs at 30,000 feet to execute one guy here or there, at great cost, the clinical strikes are clean and remove the carnage from the controlling operators. The Jihadists on the other hand utilise the more terrifying approach of dealing violence and death on the ground, where it is in your face, and creeps into your very being with its viciousness.

By opening up the Islamic can of worms, has the West bitten off more than it can chew? To progress towards a new singular World Order, Islam will have to be tamed or eradicated completely. It is true to say, for the globalists, that a NWO cannot coexist with an Islamic belief system, as it is the exact opposite to the tenets of a one world system. This is why they have been doing everything they can for the past few decades to slowly dismantle Islam from the inside.

Anti-British Eurocrat Guy Verhofstadt Obsessed by Peas

Donna Kriton
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Anti-British Eurocrat Guy Verhofstadt Obsessed by Peas

“I have to say, very honestly, as much as I hate and detest anything British, when it comes to your peas, there is nothing like that. They are so green, succulent, and they smell so fresh especially just after they pop out of the pod. I love the way they roll around the plate, maybe if I am having a cod nicely battered and some chips, you know frites, but in the Britain they cut the potato thicker, and I even tried mushy peas once, oh they were exquisite a true culinary delight,” Mr Verhofstadt said.

When asked at a recent EU conference about the response to Brexit Mr. Verhofstadt added:

“I sometimes get peas delivered from the British Isles to my château on the outskirts of Brussels. Frozen peas, yes, frozen, I like to pull down my underpants on a hot day then put a bag of frozen peas over my man peas in their pod. Yes, if the temperature is hot on a sunny day frozen peas always do the trick in cooling you down. Sensational feeling.

“Pea soup! The lovely gentle creamy taste of peas in a broth on a cold winter’s day. Sometimes I venture into my dungeon and feed the captives I hold there. I give them a little pea soup before I get my torture tools out. Oops, did I give it away. No, it is a joke, I am not a psychopath. I love peas, the more the better, even as a dessert you can have a few raw peas on your flambé, or an omelette mushrooms, peas and cheese.

“I was telling Jean Claude, I said to him, in the morning when you wake up, instead of a cognac glass try a plate of peas, maybe soaked in cognac. He tried it the next day and told me that it really hit the spot. What’s more, when he met Merkel a few hours later, he told me he burped and a little pea flew out of his mouth and landed on her cleavage. Oh la la where could he look? She took the pea, put it in her mouth and savoured the exquisite and superior pea taste.

“Peas are better than Brussels sprouts though. Okay I am a strong European but there is no way a sprout can beat a pea. No, (finka flanka fphlemm peas flug fliga flonk) unintintelligible Flemish…”

 

Constantly Kneeling African Americans Unproductive in Work Force Say Bosses

Donna Kriton
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0
Constantly Kneeling African Americans Unproductive in Work Force Say Bosses

It’s hard enough for some people to get to do a day’s work in the first place, but having them constantly kneeling on the ground is really cutting into productivity some bosses for major companies are complaining.

“We hired DaQuan Jonquil Teneel Esq. III, you know to do some filing, but all he does is kneel on the floor now. It’s hard because I asked him to move some files across the room to our copy administration person and it took him half an hour to go four metres, by that time we had lost an important client, now we just email the documents,” an exasperated boss at Google’s Mountain View campus revealed.

Jacquinda Quanell Jackson, a secretary for a top law firm in New York City, is also under the microscope as she kneels now on a constant basis, even delivering coffee to her bosses whilst on one knee.

“I aksed her, I said, Jacquinda, I been working six hours straight on this case, can you get me the Masterson papers and a cup of coffee. Took her another four hours to bring the things I wanted to the office on one knee. By that time I was ready to put some lead into anything that moved,” an angry attorney at Licksbittle Thompson Speares Litigation added.

Shamon Labronce Ebolaishaun, an English teacher for Gaitesberg High School in Massachusetts, kneels constantly in and out of class. The headteacher for the school does not know how to deal with the situation, as many of the kids are baffled as well.

“Shamon is kneeling from 7 am in the morning in the staff meeting till 4 pm in the afternoon. He even kneels whilst conducting English lessons to the pupils much to our dismay about his behaviour, there is nothing we can do to rectify the situation as to fire him would see us condemned for racism,” the distraught headmaster revealed.

Waquisha Simone Laptoyanqua, a nurse at a Los Angeles hospital has been kneeling for weeks now and many patients’ lives have been put in danger. Her bosses are at their wits end at what do about her?

“One of our patients was having a cardiac arrest, we asked Waquisha to get the defibrillator to save the man’s life. It would have taken her at least an hour to shuffle whilst kneeling to the emergency equipment cupboard, so the doctor bypassed her, rushed to the cupboard, retrieved the defibrillator and rushed to save the man’s life. If was not for his quick thinking, the patient would have died,” a furious hospital administrator added.

Raymond Wantinka Johnsons, a shoeshiner from New York City constantly kneels for his clients when he’s spit shining shoes on the corner of 5th Avenue. He is the only one who can get away with a kneeling protest, because he kneels all the time any way.

“I am protesting and spit shining at the same time. I can make mirrors outta shoes. At the same time I’m kneeling in protest. The good thing is I make $80 a day and they don’t even know I’m protesting,” Raymond quips before setting upon a new customer.

 

Ex-NFL Fans Welcome to Support Rugby

Donna Kriton
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Ex-NFL Fans Welcome to Support Rugby

As the many protests across the United States are ongoing as disgusted NFL fans burn their expensive gear and season tickets due to multi-millionaire black players kneeling in protest during the American national anthem, the Rugby world holds out a hand of friendship to the ex-NFL fans.

Why not watch the game of rugby instead? In fact, the game of rugby is what American football is derived from, one of the only differences in the game is that rugby players do not wear steel helmets or body armour.

It is claimed that a pupil of Rugby school, William Webb Ellis, invented the game of rugby in 1823, however this is disputed by some.

American football adopted many of the features of the game of rugby including the goal posts, the shape of the ball, and the scoring system where the ball crosses the goal post line and is touched down.

Dear Ex-NFL fans,

It is truly disgraceful that highly-paid members of your teams as well as NFL management have sided with a ridiculous protest, when the field should be about the game and nothing else. To disrespect the American national anthem when so many have died so that people can live under a free democracy is the biggest kick in the teeth, especially for veterans and those serving in the military today. U.S. soldiers put their lives at risk every day, not for some over-paid ungrateful idiot who cannot string a coherent sentence together, to get down on their knee and disrespect you the fans, America and all who gave their lives for the country.

This is why you should watch Rugby Union right now. They do not show disrespect when the anthem is played, and would welcome you to the sport with open arms.

Don’t forget, rugby is where American football came from, so why not go back to the real roots of the game. We welcome you with open arms.

Rugby is a game played by real men with no body pads, body armour, shoulder pads or steel helmets and no ridiculous socialist protests. Real injuries, real skill, real spirit — a real game.

Experts: How It’s Going to Take At Least 10 More Years to Erase Obama Legacy

Donna Kriton
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0
Experts: How It’s Going to Take At Least 10 More Years to Erase Obama Legacy

All the Soviet Marxist agitators, radical feminazis, trans social spreaders, anti-free speech, LGBTQPs, Black Lives Matter, Antifa terrorists etc have all become even more enraged due to not only losing front of stage under the Obama supremacy but the new president Trump coming into ascendancy.

Socialists, Marxists, Communists are actually more dangerous when they’re on the backfoot, because they have more to fight for, and become even more triggered than usual.

“These people are brainwashed Marxist Alinskyite indoctrinated pawns of guys like Soros and Obama.

“Their role is simply to divide communities, create a climate of hatred, and turn families against each other.

“The funny thing is once they complete their jobs, they will be discarded like used tissues by their masters,” an informed person revealed about the plan.

 

The brutal truth is that even though the U.S. is meant to be led by a Republican president, Donald Trump has been wholly ineffectual in pretty much every effort he has made to move America towards a more patriotic family orientated stance. This is because of the guerilla warfare tactics being used by the extreme leftists who are funded by various sovietized groups and rich individuals.

“It will take many years of de-programming of America’s youth, who are now entrenched in their Safe Spaces and Microaggression politically correct socialist world and are mollycoddled every step of the way by their educators (Marxist indoctrinators).

“Either, people pipe down, or within a year or so we will have civil war. Let me guess who will win any type of war?

 

“Well, it won’t be the feminist soviet activist transgender BLM gay safe spacers for sure, because they can’t shoot a gun.

“They were trained by Obamamites to hate guns, so they would be defenceless easy targets for the heavily trained and armed conservative Americans.

“It would be like a turkey shoot, or shooting fish in a barrel,” a militia man from Wisconsin added.

Unfortunately, it’s not just the college kids who have been indoctrinated in communist theory and ideals, under the eight long years of Obama rule, the major tech companies were under his spell, and these large internet all-controlling conglomerates are fighting against free speech as well. If the message is Marxist or socialist it is allowed, however any other opinion is censored and relegated to the bottom of the search results or removed completely.

New Smart Glasses Powered By Bogies in Your Nose

Donna Kriton
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0
New Smart Glasses Powered By Bogies in Your Nose

Google, a company that spends billions of dollars on research and development, still hasn’t found a good reason for everyone to own a pair of smart glasses. But an international team of researchers is rethinking how upgraded glasses could be useful—by turning the wearer’s nose bogies into a discreet power source.

Computer scientists from SHAISTER University in South Korea, the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, the Georgia Institute of Technology in the United States, and Fukuoku University in Japan, took a unique approach to the smart glasses they designed. As detailed in a new paper, ItchyNoseBogey: Discreet Power Integration using proprietary energy cell technology in Smart Eyewear, being presented today at the International Symposium on Wearable Computers, instead of trying to carry around a massive battery pack they simply added a series of electrooculographic energy transducer lithium impulse generators to the bridge and nose pads of the glasses.

These energy transducer cells are designed to measure electrical signals in and around the nose, and have been used for powering the Smart glasses from the bogeys of a user.

Chief project engineer, Lee Yon Fuk, revealed that the “bigger the bogey, the longer you can charge the Smart Glasses” and that “sneezing your nose into a special electroconducting cellular energy transducing tissue” gives the device a much needed power surge.

The smart glasses, which look no different than a regular pair of specs, are apparently able to discern between the wearer flicks, holding, or rubbing their bogeys with a finger, and those subtle movements can be translated into further electrical energy creation within the microbattery transducer charging system within the device.

 

So imagine you’re sitting in a meeting and have to look like you’re paying rapt attention to your boss’ every word, but you’d rather be digging deep in your nasal cavity for that elusive, scratchy bogey. A simple finger in your nose, which wouldn’t look out of place, could let you jumpstart your device if it’s low on charge. The glasses love bogeys of all shapes and sizes, long greenies, sloppy sneezies or those hard edged bogies that you have to really dig for.

The key aspect of these smart glasses is that you could be stuck in a desert where there are no usb power points, or you could be on a desert island where there is no electricity. Just dig into your nostrils, and pick out a nice juicy bogey, feed it into the integral power inducing system et voila, you now have enough power for a week.

This incredible technology will be available next year, and already Barbara Streisand has ordered five pairs of Smart glasses from the tech team. How’s that for marketing?

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