17.7 C
London
Wednesday, March 18, 2026
secret satire society
HomeWorldDemocracy the EU Way

Democracy the EU Way

CATALONIA - The Catalan democratically held referendum got off to a great start the other day, when EU stormtroopers stopped voters getting to the polling stations by beating them with truncheons.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

Head EU Stasi official, Nils Molotov, revealed that the EU operation to stifle democracy had been a total success.

“Ve haff halted any form of democracy from coming into effect through the use of extreme violence against voters in the Catalan Referendum. Our orders are to halt any other referendum since the British swine conducted their democratic right to a referendum in 2016, which resulted in Brexit. Democracy will not be tolerated in the EU. All democratic voters are to be treated with extreme prejudice and a good kick up the backside.”

No Democracy Allowed in EU

Although the EU stormtroopers stopped many from voting, the 90% result for independence for Catalonia was summarily rejected by the EU and Spain, and the democratically held referendum labelled as illegal.

Jean Claude Juncker was adamant that the use of violence to thwart the democratic process was justified: “We can’t have people exercising the right to democracy in the EU. If this ever happens, there will not be an EU left. This is why we ordered the stormtroopers to stop the democracy from happening. Not on my watch will there be democracy..tch.. We are already stopping the Britisher schweinhunds by delaying their Brexit as much as possible and that idiot Theresa May is so gullible and naive she believes what we say to her (laughs out). No, mes amis, no democracy in the EU. We have rules for a reason, and democracy is against all of these rules made by the unelected EU Commission.”

As Jean Claude Juncker once said during a referendum where the French people were asked if there should be more EU and less democracy:

“If it’s a Yes, we will say ‘on we go’, and if it’s a No we will say ‘we continue’.”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  •  
    ai
    - Advertisment - proton vpn

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

    KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH