17.7 C
London
Tuesday, June 18, 2024
secret satire society
HomeHealthTheresa May Wants My Organ and Yours Too

Theresa May Wants My Organ and Yours Too

LONDON - England - Theresa May's organ donation reform sends a chilling message: that the state owns your body unless you opt out

Ain’t that great, whether I like it or not, my internal organs or organ are up for grabs thanks to the new Theresa May directive pushed at the latest Tory conference by a spluttering, coughing old bint well past her sell by date.

“I actually felt very sad for the PM watching her speech, if that’s what you want to call it, it was a real tear jerker and she managed to soldier on to the end coughing up half a lung, when even the letters were falling off the sign behind her. Walking off stage with her P45 in her pocket, she looked like a broken woman. I believe I shed a few tears to see such a sad distraught creature wilting along. She can have my organ, she can have my kidneys, my liver, whatever, stick ’em in a bowl with some fava beans and a bottle of nice Chianti,” a Tory conference attendee said after Theresa May finished her speech.

Luckily, one can opt out of having their organs harvested out to some Nigerian NHS-tourist in for the weekend to have a lung transplant, then absconding without paying a penny to anyone.

Yes, there are people who need organs urgently, your best bet is to go to China where you can have anything ordered, and served up to you in a jiffy from one of the many convicts who are killed off daily and have their organs harvested on the spot via a special van that appears out of nowhere to do the dirty deed.

Maybe Theresa May could introduce such a scheme in Britain, how about parking the van outside parliament?

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »