Naive Theresa May So Gullible She Falls For Nigerian Email Scam

LONDON - England - The naive and gullible PM, Theresa May, was nearly scammed by a Nigerian email con.

Poor old Theresa May, she hasn’t been having a good time of it lately. Scammed by the EU to extend Brexit by an extra two years so that the EU can charge Britain through the teeth, then add on an extra leaving bill on after that — May has committed the UK to financial slavery to the EU for many years to come.

According to Theresa May’s senior aides, the PM is so gullible that she actually replied to a Nigerian email scam asking her to deposit $4.5 billion in an account in Lagos. Theresa May was so taken by the email in her inbox, that she bypassed key Treasury clearance protocols and okayed the funds herself, much to the chagrin of the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

“She’s so naive, and gullible that we have to keep an eye on her at all times,” another Number 10 staff member told the Telegraph.

The letter that Theresa May received was the classic Nigerian scam, and after much wrangling we were able to get some excerpts:

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakundo Elotunde, the second cousin once removed of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Mnongo Elotunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 5 space station in 1978. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-15Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-15Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humour, but wants to come home.

In the 27-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15 billion American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 4.5 billion American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Thankfully, the gullible PM was thwarted from sending any funds to Nigeria on Friday, when senior Treasury staff were alerted to the PM’s actions and stepped in to stop the money transfer at the last moment.

“Luckily we saved not only the PM’s blushes, but the taxpayer from falling foul from this terrible scam. We would like to alert anyone else who thinks about replying to any such email not to do so. Only the dumbest, most naive gullible idiot would fall for such a see-through scam, isn’t that right Mrs May?” the Foreign Secretary quipped during a press meeting on Monday.