During a recent Liberal Democrat conference in Bournemouth, Sir Vince Cable, the Lib Dem leader announced the proposed changes to compulsory head wear.
“As Lib Dem leader and Chief Remoaner for Britain, I say to all our members that this EU beret is a jolly good idea. Once we reverse Brexit and are back in the comforting arms of Brussels, we shall make it law that every British EU citizen wear an EU beret at all times, even when asleep or in the shower.”
The Lib Dem leader was then asked by one member whether they could take off the EU beret whilst swimming?
“Absolutely not! All swimming baths will have special rubber EU berets on hand to give to swimmers to replace their woolly ones.”
EU Sharia Beret Law
Another EU beret wearing Lib Dem then asked Mr. Cable whether dead people or people in hospital surgery would be prosecuted for not wearing an EU beret?
“At all times means at all times. Even if you’re dead in a coffin, you and your relatives will be prosecuted if found not to be wearing an EU beret. We have to show our profound love for Brussels at all times. Astronauts will not be exempt, and neither will the Queen. In fact, Her Royal Highness will have to wear an EU beret over her crown and if she doesn’t, she too would be prosecuted under EU law.”
Luckily, the changes will only take place after Brexit is reversed by the Lib Dems.
