17.7 C
London
Friday, May 17, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldLib Dems Want to Force Brits to All Wear EU Berets

Lib Dems Want to Force Brits to All Wear EU Berets

BOURNEMOUTH - England - The Lib Dems have proposed that under new laws once instated, all UK citizens will have to wear EU berets at all times or be prosecuted.

During a recent Liberal Democrat conference in Bournemouth, Sir Vince Cable, the Lib Dem leader announced the proposed changes to compulsory head wear.

“As Lib Dem leader and Chief Remoaner for Britain, I say to all our members that this EU beret is a jolly good idea. Once we reverse Brexit and are back in the comforting arms of Brussels, we shall make it law that every British EU citizen wear an EU beret at all times, even when asleep or in the shower.”

The Lib Dem leader was then asked by one member whether they could take off the EU beret whilst swimming?

“Absolutely not! All swimming baths will have special rubber EU berets on hand to give to swimmers to replace their woolly ones.”

EU Sharia Beret Law

Another EU beret wearing Lib Dem then asked Mr. Cable whether dead people or people in hospital surgery would be prosecuted for not wearing an EU beret?

“At all times means at all times. Even if you’re dead in a coffin, you and your relatives will be prosecuted if found not to be wearing an EU beret. We have to show our profound love for Brussels at all times. Astronauts will not be exempt, and neither will the Queen. In fact, Her Royal Highness will have to wear an EU beret over her crown and if she doesn’t, she too would be prosecuted under EU law.”

Luckily, the changes will only take place after Brexit is reversed by the Lib Dems.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »