American royal author appointed by Queen Meghan and King Harry, Ringo Scoobie, has outlined in a new book that the American royal couple have knighted their first Sir on American soil.
According to Scoobie, the author of the book, King Harry knighted their most precious gardener for his services to Bougainvillea.
“The ceremony began in the morning when José turned up for work. He was informed by the California-shire palace’s footman that he was to be knighted that day. I cannot repeat the words he said, but it included Spanish words like ‘puta’ and ‘madre’.
“Once José was escorted to the throne room, King Harry and Queen Meghan rose from their respective faux gold thrones, made in Mexico. José approached the American royals, and was ordered to bow before them. King Harry then took out a fake sword ($14.99 from Walmart) and knighted the gardener by patting each shoulder with the plastic blade of the cheap sword.
“The King then said a few words to José, about his service to the garden, especially the care of the Bougainvillea, and announced to the assorted courtiers ‘Arise, Sir José Guadalupe Fernando Monteiro Hernández Ricardo Mojon Domingo Fuentes Chingada Jesús Paolo Guerrero, I knight thee in the name of the Archehole Foundation and Netflix.’ The gardener was then informed that he will be given a $6.35 increase in his hourly salary and led away.
“The King and Queen of California-shire, and the United States of America then retired back to their thrones, where they proceeded to discuss the day’s business of planning their next photo opportunity and heavily planned PR exercise.”
It is not known how many more honours or knighting ceremonies the King and Queen plan in the future.
In other news, Queen Meghan has also acquired 14 Corgi breed dogs for the California-shire palace with 16 bathrooms. The corgis were shipped directly from Wales from a renowned breeder.
Queen Meghan has staunchly denied the American royals are competing with anyone else, ahem, mention no names.
It seems the Supreme Court of the United States has been compromised as well by foreign influence, chiefly communist China. Civil war came a step closer today.
Patriots across the nation will be stirred by this, especially as the evidence of voter fraud is so compelling.
According to reports, there was no note or explanation for the rejection, however, more news may filter out later.
???BREAKING: Supreme Court DENIES GOP litigants’ bid to nullify Biden’s certified win in PENNSYLVANIA pic.twitter.com/7tcwddfdLB
The consequences of such a decision naturally brings the United States closer than ever to civil war, where the two sides consisting of left-wing communist Democrat Party affiliates aligned with China will be pitted against American patriots, veterans, serving military and militias.
The last American Civil War was fought from 1861 to 1865. It has therefore been a long time since a full civil war has graced the American soil, but this time, if things go well, the socialist and communist American faction will be totally nullified, completely erased from the USA.
Upon hearing of the wonderful news that the Seattle City Council, is introducing a bill that will make it impossible for the city to prosecute “crimes of poverty”. Many criminals around the USA, and some across the globe immediately made a beeline for the ‘progressive’ socialist city upon hearing the great news.
“Dang man, they can’t prosecute me, I just say I beat up some old white coot, took all his money in the world, beat him to an inch of his life, and spent the money on more crack and hoes. The police can’t do shiet, because I just gotta say I is poor!” Shakwan Jackson, 24, who arrived in Seattle on Monday from Detroit revealed.
Bank robbers seem also to be interested in this new bill.
“I own four properties on the Malibu beach front in LA, but I still consider myself poor. You see what I got is never enough, and that’s why I can always argue the poverty line, the word poverty is subjective and open to interpretation. My crew are upping sticks and moving to a safe house in Seattle this week where we will be casing out numerous joints (banks). I have a few contacts in the city already, we need maps, insiders and it seems an unlimited time to rob each bank. There are only a few cops left in Seattle anyway, and if they do catch us, we just plead poverty after we stash the cash,” the head honcho for a bank robbery crew in Los Angeles revealed on Monday.
In fact, all forms of organised crime, especially the various mafia groups across the United States, their ears perked up on the news.
Chicago consigliere, for the Staglioni Family, Al ‘Fat Fuck’ Francese, was pleased with the news.
“You gonna eat that baloney sandwich? Eh, this shit went all the way up the ladder to the bosses of bosses, we’re talking real grease ball shit, The Commission! They say it’s gonna be like Christmas and Thanksgiving rolled into one, and we gotta clean the whole city out, make it our own. But we gotta hold off every goombah from Alaska to Florida to keep this town to ourselves, we eat alone. Mangia tutti mangia! Gonna be like the Golden Age. If these liberal pussy schmucks give us any stronzate, we whack the whole motherfuckin’ lot of them. Capisce?”
COVID-19 was possibly a dry run for something even bigger, as a mysterious illness hospitalizes hundreds of people in India. The Eluru Flu seems to cause neurological problems, fits and loss of consciousness.
Hyderabad: Nearly 400 people have contracted a mystery illness at Eluru in Andhra Pradesh — 150 of the 380 patients are admitted in hospitals. One person, a 45-year-old, died on December 5. It is not clear yet what is causing the disease. People suffer fits and nausea and fall unconscious.
The symptoms include convulsions, seizure and neurological symptoms, and they are the same across age groups and gender, said state health commissioner K Bhasker Rao.
The Wuhan Virus started spreading at around the same time in November/December 2019 although the Chinese authorities suppressed the information to the rest of the globe until late January 2020 allowing it to spread globally. It is hoped that the early reporting of this medical emergency by the Indian authorities of a potentially lethal new virus will curtail any new pandemic from occurring.
The good news is that this time, the WHO have been allowed on the ground to investigate, unlike what happened in Wuhan where no one was allowed near the area.
At least one dead and hundreds hospitalised in India’s Eluru town from an unidentified illness, with symptoms including seizures, dizziness, nausea, and headaches pic.twitter.com/IwaO1WcksC
Former Microsoft head, Bill Gates, has repeatedly mentioned in his interviews about other deadly viral strains causing pandemics, therefore it is within reason that these events are expected. Bill Gates is also the founder through his foundation of https://id2020.org/ which may be instrumental in future chipping programs conducted globally.
What we have been witnessing of the legacy media both in the UK and US is activism cavorting as journalism. If you have enough of these political activists with their assorted Marxist agendas within any given news organisation, you do not get news, you get propaganda.
We can see the demise of former news organisations like CNN, which has deteriorated to such a level that it can officially be named as the media arm of America’s socialist party, the Democrat Party.
In the UK, the BBC used to be the epitome of unbiased news, but is now so far left in their outlook, even Josef Stalin would find them agreeable because of their devout Marxist outlook. As for the Guardian, Mirror and Independent, they have always been staunch socialist spouting newspapers, and the only thing that has changed is that they have moved even more far-left.
The so-called conservative legacy media has also been tainted by Marxist Wokism, as the Telegraph, once firmly on the right, is now indistinguishable from the Guardian in many ways, pushing feminism, Woke BLM Marxist transgender mantras for the Metropolitan elite and the Waitrose shopping Islington glitterati.
Remember the deeply conservative Daily Mail, it used to support leaders like Trump and Boris Johnson, but now denigrates them. Brexit is a forgotten memory now superseded by stories of housewives who have had breast implants explode, and puerile space filler trash replete with vast amounts of grammatical and spelling errors.
The activists pretending to be journalists have invaded and infiltrated pretty much every legacy media organisation, and today, we are all living in some kind of socialist echo chamber, amplified by socialist social media companies, overseen and distributed by the almighty Google God that lauds over all with its massive outreach, dictating what is seen, and unseen.
Would it not be great if we ever got news that was objective, unbiased, non-partisan, non preaching activist Marxist bullshit? Of course, considered opinion is great, as long as it is not pushed down your fucking throat every day like some Marxist Red Book mantra as it is these days.
If nothing is ever done about this infiltration, then in less than a decade all Western media will be a mirror of Chinese communist media. Such is the power of China, that its insidious octopus reach extends around the globe eviscerating any form of free speech or individual thought, to not parrot the Marxist, Maoist mantra is to not receive the vast amounts of pure hard cash it bandies around with its bullying thuggish grip.
There has been an emergency at the Californian mansion recently purchased by Meghan and Harry involving one of 16 bathrooms.
For the past 48 hours, former prince Harry has been missing, it is said that he has been lost in one of the 16 bathrooms in the mansion.
Senior aide, Brad Fuhrer, was adamant that the situation was under control.
“We have been searching each room in the mansion, and the numerous bathrooms, however this takes time. We fear Harry accidentally locked himself in one of the bathrooms, but because they are so far apart from each other, even if he is shouting he will not be heard.”
Earlier on in the day today, someone did hear a shout from the East Wing, but on further inspection they did not find anything.
“We have assembled a team of servants to look for Harry. The time it takes to walk around the mansion is so long though, we have even equipped them with walkie-talkies. Hopefully Harry will turn up in one of the bathrooms. At least he has water, but alas has not eaten for 48 hours now,” another aide revealed.
Meanwhile, Netflix upon hearing of the news, have commissioned a five part series drama based on real life events around Harry and the 16 bathrooms.
Whilst the incessant wail of the Remoaners continues, we say let them moan, if that’s what they want to do. As for the EU ministers, they continue to work long nights buggering each other in all male orgies, naturally charging their unlimited EU expense accounts for the drugs and dildos.
British companies meanwhile are finding new export partners across the globe, bypassing the European Union completely. There is a whole world outside the bullying protectionist racket of the EU. As the UK prepares to conclude its exit from the European Union, nearly one in five British exporters (18%) have already changed trading partners to divert business outside the EU, showing that businesses are actively looking at new export markets. An estimated £50 billion of exports have been diverted since the Brexit referendum result in June 2016.
Britain is also forging ahead with its own global trade deals having already completed lucrative billion pound deals with Japan and Canada. The UK and Switzerland have secured a far-reaching agreement on services that maintains high quality access for UK service suppliers to the Swiss market.
With success, however one has to always deal with the negative, and if Joe Biden becomes president of the USA, Britain will be punished severely, thrown to the back of the trade queue. Biden detests the British with a vengeance, maybe even more so than Obama. Time will tell if Donald Trump is granted a second term due to the voter fraud discovered during the 2020 elections. If Trump pulls through, he has granted the UK a fast track trade deal.
The only UK newspaper that has been following the Brexit negotiations closely are the Daily Express, who come up with hourly updates on the situation. They are most certainly fed directly from the government officials, although headlines do contradict each other somewhat.
Britain must not give up its fishing rights, and waters. Any spanner put into negotiations at the last moment by the EU must not be accepted. Britain can easily walk away and should never back down to the EU in any way, or it will be tied down to the bloc forever. This goes for the EU court of human rights, and the fishing grounds, and all the other EU imprisonment institutions.
Imagine all the time wasted negotiating with the EU, this time could have instead been used getting new trade deals with countries across the globe, bypassing the EU completely.
If Boris Johnson caves in to the EU’s idiotic disproportionate demands then he will unfortunately be written up in history as the guy who fucked up Brexit. The Tories will subsequently lose every general election onwards, and be best forgotten in the annals of history as failures.
Britain cannot fail now, it has come this far, and should never give up. Never, ever, give up. Just plough though this fucking thing like a battleship…and do not even look back…just straight forward.
There’s more than one way to manage your budget. Many people assume that a budget is one of those things that’s essentially one-size-fits-all. You put as much of your cash into your savings and possible and try to make sure that you’re living within your means. However, that’s not the only option.
The traditional budget is one of the most common cash plans, and it allows you to list your income and expenses, then simply set goals for how much you want to spend in each category. The good thing about this budgetary solution is that it’s extremely flexible.
However, it’s not always the best option for people who need more structure in their lives.
Here are some alternative budgeting plans to consider if you think traditional budgeting might not be the right option for you.
The 50/30/20 Budget
The 50/30/20 budgeting plan is a simplified plan which allows you to break your expenses down into three separate categories: wants, needs, and savings. Around 50% of your income needs to go towards needs, while another 30% goes into wants and the remaining goes into the savings account you keep separate from the rest of your expenses.
If you want, you can swap the last two categories around, depending on how quickly you want to reach your savings goals. The more you invest into savings now, the faster you’ll accomplish reaching your targets for that new house or whatever you need to buy. If you don’t want to save and you’d prefer to get a loan from somewhere like Omacl.co.uk instead, then you can take the extra 10% you would put into savings, and you can spend that on the loan repayments. Just make sure that you’re not devoting more than 15% of your income to loans and debts.
The important thing to remember here is that there is a difference between wants and needs. Just because you’re spending 50% of your budget on needs, doesn’t mean you should allow yourself to go over the top on things like clothing and food because you “need” those items. You can get a good shirt for a decent price without having to spend a fortune on designer labels.
The 80/20 Budget
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels
This is an even easier budget to manage than the one we mentioned above, because you only deal with two categories – savings, and the rest. 80% of your budget goes towards the things that you need and want to pay for, like your mortgage or rent and your council tax, as well as your phone bills and home expenses like gas and electricity. The rest of the money you make each month has to go into your savings account.
The 20% limit is the minimum for what you need to save. If you can’t put that much away towards your future and your retirement, among any other goals that you want to be prepared for, then you need to take a much closer look at the way you spend.
This is a good budgeting choice if you feel like you want to have more freedom over the wants and needs section of your payments each month. You can ensure that once you’ve put your money away towards saving, you don’t have to think too carefully about what’s a need and what’s a want.
The Sub-Savings Account Method
Photo by maitree rimthong from Pexels
This is a slightly different spin on the 80/20 budget, and it means you can decide how much money you need to save by funnelling your cash into sub-savings accounts based on goals. You open various savings accounts and give each one a name based on what you want to save for. Then you can divide your savings amounts up based on how much you want to put towards each individual goal.
This could be a slightly trickier process depending on how many savings accounts your bank will actually allow you to open. If you can’t get multiple accounts yourself, then you could consider getting the money you would usually put towards savings out of the bank every month and dividing it into different savings jars. However, it’s important to ensure that you have a save place to store those jars – just in case.
Remember, with the sub-savings account method, you can also make things a little easier by using apps on your phone to track where your money is going. Most banks will offer these apps as standard these days. However, you don’t have to use tech unless you feel comfortable with it.
It’s a well-known fact that getting involved in real estate is still one of the best investments you can make. Despite Covid-19 damaging financial situations, property values remain high, and forecasts point out that this trend will continue for the foreseeable future.
If you’re considering starting your own property business, now is an excellent time to do so. Taking advantage of the current rental price growth and potential capital growth for the future will put a lot of green in your pocket. But where to start?
The best bet, though, is to invest directly in real estate and avoid buying shares in properties. The stock market can be a wild beast, especially in uncertain times like 2020; there is no guarantee your money is safe. Investing directly in real estate will mean you can enjoy the rent as mentioned earlier and capital growth.
When considering starting a property business, one of the first forms of property you should consider is buy-to-let. Buy-to-let refers to the practice of buying a property with the purpose of renting it out. There are a number of reasons why buy-to-let is so ideal, but mainly it is safe. Through rent, you’re able to gain a regular income without having to work for it directly. Along with this, your property will increase in value day by day, meaning if you decide to sell it in the future, you will see a handsome profit.
It sounds like a dream scenario to continually earn money without directly working for it, but there are things to consider before you start. Firstly, research your area. You need to consider rental yields, capital growth, tenant demands, and predicted market changes. It may sound like a lot of work, but it’s worth it. For instance, there’s little point in investing in an area with depreciating house values. You may earn some short-term income, but you might make very little profit on your home when you want to sell. If you wish to start your own property business, you can look for further information and top tips from reputable property companies such as RWinvest.
Tenant demands are also vital. Covid-19 has led to a distinct change in what tenants want. With many stuck in their homes for months, people have started to notice faults in their homes and are craving new surroundings. Desires for green space, space to work from home, and fast broadband are all increasing. This is worth considering when purchasing a property, as you ideally want a property coveted by tenants.
You could also buy-to-sell. Essentially buy-to-lets riskier brother, buy-to-sell can be a bountiful venture. Also referred to as house flipping, the goal is to buy a property and sell it for a profit. Buying to sell is far more complicated than letting as it requires expert knowledge. You need to know exactly what a property is worth, the potential the property has for sale, and if the property needs any work done to it. If your venture goes wrong, and you pay extra for a property or are unable to sell, you will then have to contend with potential mortgage costs without the income to cover it. This can mean you lose cash rather than make it. If you are confident and have the expert knowledge required, it is something worth considering.
Overall, the best advice is to diversify your portfolio. If you want to become a landlord, buy multiple properties. This way, you can earn a constant and considerable income regularly. That early retirement you’ve always dreamed of can be more of a reality than you thought.
Tottenham Hotspur have been near to the very top of the Premier League table for years but never managed to genuinely enter the title race. Do they have the strength and quality to do so in the 2020/21 campaign? We have asked John Pentin, football betting expert at the betting site portal bettingtips4you.
A brilliant start to the season
Judging by the start of the campaign, it is hard not to include Jose Mourinho’s troops in the list of title candidates. They sit at the top of the ladder after 11 rounds with seven wins, three draws, and just one defeat. Such a record gets even more significance if we know the Spurs have seen off the likes of Manchester City and Arsenal along the way.
The team’s lone defeat came in the very opening round when Everton left North London with a three-pointer. Since then, Mourinho has found the winning formula by tightening things up defensively. Tottenham have the best defensive record in the entire division after eleven rounds, having shipped no more than nine goals in the process.
Deadly attacking duo
Harry Kane and Son Heung-Min are by far the most lethal attacking duo in the whole league. We all know Kane as a predator in the final third and one of the best strikers in the game. Nevertheless, Jose Mourinho seems to have found a somewhat different role for his talisman, the one in which Harry obviously enjoys.
The Three Lions captain is at the same time his team’s No 9 and No 10. His amazing creativity has been fully exploited by the Spurs as the man sits by far at the top of the competition’s assisting charts with as many as 10 deliveries to his teammates.
The vast majority of these deliveries benefited Son Heung-Min who is one of the competition’s leading scorers with 10 goals in 11 appearances. We should not forget to mention Kane’s 8 goals either.
Counter-attacks against the stronger teams
Despite sitting atop the division’s standings and despite having two of the best attacking players in the competitions, Spurs are by no means playing beautiful football. This is due to the well-known Jose Mourinho stamp. The Special One is a tactical magician. He has won the Champions League with the likes of Porto, remember. He has also eliminated star-studded Barcelona en route to winning the elite continental competition with Inter Milan (beating Bayern Munich in the final).
Mourinho may not have the width required for a genuine title attack in this Spurs team, but if someone can pull off the best possible performances from a limited team, it’s this Portuguese phenomenon.
You may argue that his playing style is in contrast to the beauty of the game, but that’s just who Mourinho is. He has Kane and Son but still uses them solely for the purpose of counter-attacking against the likes of Manchester City, Chelsea, and even Arsenal. But at the end of the day, who are we to say anything and judge if such an approach gets him results? Had Tottenham lost the aforementioned games, we’d probably be talking another story right now.
Decent depth
Spurs have never spent loads of money on transfers, that’s just not the team’s policy. However, they’ve managed to build a very reputable line-up for just $70 million last summer. Mourinho brought two fantastic full-backs in the likes of Matt Doherty and Sergio Reguilon, while the likes of Vinicius and Gareth Bale contributed to the attacking versatility. Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg is yet another precious gem in the centre of the park.
With such a fabulous kick-off to the season, superb Kane and Son, and a wider range of available options all over the pitch, we have more than enough reasons to call the Spurs genuine title contenders.
