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Daily Squib Giving Away 100 Free Holidays to Sri Lanka

Fishy Watson
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Daily Squib Giving Away 100 Free Holidays to Sri Lanka

Ooh! Aren’t you a lucky one? You are about to get the opportunity to win a free holiday in Sri Lanka and enjoy some serious sun and fun by the pool. It’s only the best for our readers. Check this out, bozos! You will be staying at President Gotabaya Rajapaksa’s presidential palace, with all amenities free to use for as long as you want. Yes, you read that right, you will be able to stay at the presidential palace for as long as you want.

The all-inclusive package includes breakfast, lunch, dinner and as much booze as you can drink. All competition winners have to do is walk into any store in the centre of Colombo that has not been completely looted, and take what you can carry.

Rooms at the palace come on a first-come-first-served basis, plus guests may have to share rooms with a minimum of 60-100 Sri Lankans.

There is a luxury pool in the palace, however please be mindful to the 10,000 other Sri Lankan citizens in the pool at all times of the day and night. Urinating and defecating in pools is seen as completely normal behaviour, as well as pinching both nostrils and snotting loudly into the bubbly pool water.

Amongst the finery and paintings of the palace, guests can enjoy the gym facilities for a full workout session if you can find a machine that is not being used by the hundreds of Sri Lankans in the hot sweaty room.

Sri Lanka Palace Hotel Competition Entry

To enter the competition and win an amazing Sri Lankan palace holiday, simply answer this question.

When there’s no food reserves left, what do people do?

a) Riot

b) Loot

c) Topple the government

d) All of the above

Please send your answer on a postcard to Squib Lanka Comp. P.O. Box 342, London, WX3 T2X by the 20th July.

Paulie Walnuts RIP

Fishy Watson
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Paulie Walnuts RIP

You take the HD TV from Paulie Walnuts or else.

As for Big Pussy, it was a sad day when he got whacked on the boat, at least they left his face out of it.

That fuckin’ poison ivy comin’ up during the psychic session sure freaked Paulie out — “fuckin’ queers!”

Just don’t let Paulie talk to you’se when you’re in a fuckin’ coma.

“Stugats!”

 

Are You Ready For Greasy?

Fishy Watson
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Are You Ready For Greasy?

You can’t get smoother than a greasy oil laden Rishi Sunak promotional video. First out of the traps, he is apparently leading the field and flying ahead like grease lightning in the race to replace the ousted Boris Johnson.

What are Sunak’s credentials to become the next prime minister of Britain?

Apart from being a backstabber, Sunak offers some hard lessons for Britons by doing “what is right, despite the pain”. In other words, be prepared for more high taxation for a prolonged period of time reducing spending, reducing business innovation and commerce in general.

Whoever thought that taxing people within an inch of their lives was good for an economy or stimulates economic growth obviously was not living in the real world. It’s all okay for Sunak in his massive mansion whose non-dom billionaire wife doesn’t even pay tax in Britain.

“The economic cogs are not greased, unlike my hair. They are instead solidly rusted unmoving cogs clogged with high taxes and costs stalling the economy, ruining the future for Britain and its children,” Sunak revealed in his video whilst adding even more grease to his already soppy oily hair.

It Seems Durham Police are Labour Fans

Fishy Watson
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It Seems Durham Police are Labour Fans

Letting off Keir Starmer and his deputy along with all the other Labourite party goers whilst the full hand of the law came down hard on Boris for simply walking into a room at his work place and raising a glass of wine stinks of bias on a grand scale.

According to the map of England, Durham is somewhere up north, so that explains everything.

Next time there’s another Labour lockdown party, why not invite the Durham constabulary round as well?

High Gas Prices For Americans? Biden Selling America’s Oil Reserves to China

Fishy Watson
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High Gas Prices For Americans? Biden Selling America’s Oil Reserves to China

You have to feel sorry for Americans who practically live in their cars and trucks. America is not a tiny country like Britain, where everything you need is in close proximity. The vast roads and highways of the US stretch on for thousands of miles, and many people have to travel hundreds of miles each day doing their jobs or running their errands.

Petrol (gas) prices are rocketing for Americans and eating into their pocketbooks. All the while, there is no mention of the impotent weasel Biden in the mediocre, biased media press rooms as the main cause of gas prices rising at the pumps. He can’t blame it on Putin forever.

China now directly benefiting at the expense of US consumers as a result of Biden’s insanity

“Biden is a piece of shit. In fact, shit is higher than Biden,” one angry American motorist quipped as he filled up at a petrol station.

SPR drain june

The Biden administration is draining more oil from the US strategic petroleum reserve, and worse still, selling it to America’s arch enemy — China. More than 5 million barrels of oil that were part of the historic U.S. SPR release were exported to Europe and Asia last month, including top US geopolitical nemesis in the global arena, China, even as U.S. gasoline and diesel prices hit record highs.

The U.S. Crude reserves will leave from the West Hackberry SPR site in Louisiana in July on route to China.

“These actions are tantamount to high treason. Biden is fucking Americans up the ass by selling our valuable oil reserves to China so they can attack Taiwan, Japan and the U.S.” another furious American quipped.

Enjoy your insane gas prices Americans, you and many dead people in cemeteries voted for it.

Beyond Satire: EU Declares Fossil Fuels and Nuclear Power as ‘Green’

Fishy Watson
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Beyond Satire: EU Declares Fossil Fuels and Nuclear Power as ‘Green’

Greta Thunberg must be fuming with outrage as her beloved EU denizens are now declaring fossil fuels like natural gas and nuclear power plants as environmentally friendly and ‘green’.

Members of European Parliament (MEPs) voted on July 6 not to reject adding nuclear and natural gas activities to the European Union taxonomy for sustainable investments, paving the way for the EU to include such projects in its so-called “green” investments.

The European Union have claimed in the past to be eco-conscious and to move to banning fossil fuels.

What the ‘green’ eco mob do not realise is that it is impossible to have eco-sustainable ‘green’ fuel if the earth’s population continues at its current pace. Many people who claim to be ‘green’ are low-information zealots who do not understand reality and live in a deluded state of eco-psychosis.

 

Will the Masters Rebuild the Georgia Guidestones?

Fishy Watson
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Will the Masters Rebuild the Georgia Guidestones?

The Georgia Guidestones are sacrosanct monuments to a future New World Order where the global population is kept at a sustainable level in tune with nature, thus allowing life on earth to continue. Without the sustainable diminution of the global population, humanity will be doomed to a fate of immense misery, pollution and war.

Overbreeding and overpopulation creates extreme poverty, pollution, atmospheric destruction, terrorism, inequality and war. The Malthusian nightmare is very real; especially regarding countries like China (pop: 1.4 billion) and India (pop: 1.38 billion) increasing their population every year. Like locusts depleting earth’s finite resources, increasing populations are a direct threat to the very mantle of life on earth.

As a consequence of the recent bombing of the stones, the monument has now been completely destroyed.

Will the Masters rebuild the Georgia Stones? If so, this time they should make sure it is protected at all times. The message is too important for humanity’s sake.

The Georgia Guidestones

  1. Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.
  2. Guide reproduction wisely — improving fitness and diversity.
  3. Unite humanity with a living new language.
  4. Rule passion — faith — tradition — and all things with tempered reason.
  5. Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.
  6. Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court.
  7. Avoid petty laws and useless officials.
  8. Balance personal rights with social duties.
  9. Prize truth — beauty — love — seeking harmony with the infinite.
  10. Be not a cancer on the Earth — Leave room for nature — Leave room for nature.

Elon Musk Had Twins With a Neuralink Executive

Fishy Watson
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Elon Musk Had Twins With a Neuralink Executive

Elon Musk, the Tesla and SpaceX CEO and world’s richest man, welcomed twins last year with an executive at one of his other companies, Neuralink, reported on Wednesday.

Musk, who posted a tweet on May 24 saying “USA birth rate has been below min sustainable levels for ~50 years” and pinned it to the top of his more than 100 million-follower Twitter account, quietly fathered the children with X3432 N-342, who works for Musk at the company which hopes to develop an implantable computer chip for the human brain.

The Musk neuralink twins can already communicate in 300 languages and even fly a Huey helicopter despite only being 6 months old.

One twin is called X10109-b and the other is lovingly named X111010-c.

BoJo Finally Resigns

Fishy Watson
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BoJo Finally Resigns

According to sources, a resignation letter was drafted for Boris Johnson and he was forced to sign it.

On your marks! Go! The leadership race is on and suddenly “integrity” will vanish, and things will go back to the norm.

As per usual, the media will go on with their usual eulogies about Boris.

The knives embedded deep in his back will hurt for a while, and his wife Carrie must now be thinking about wallpaper removal techniques to rescue those very, very expensive rolls on the Number 10 flat’s walls.

The coup was a great success, and the integrity has been blinding…ouch!

Now They Are Threatening to Bring In Theresa May Again

Fishy Watson
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Now They Are Threatening to Bring In Theresa May Again

That’s like putting salt on an open wound, or using nettles as a plaster for a cut.

“Theresa May is “uniquely placed” to step up as the interim Prime Minister should Boris Johnson resign, according to reports.”

Boris has just been forced to sign a resignation letter thrown in front of him.

The end is nigh, and it is only going to get a lot worse when the dead fish, Theresa May becomes interim PM.

The Remainers must be whooping in the corridors.

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