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The Wonderful Notting Hill Carnival is Underway This Year

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Fun, fun, fun times are to be had this year, much like years past at the Notting Hill Carnival where certain cultures celebrate their glorious qualities to all and sundry.

“I hope there will be more stabbings and shootings this year. For entertainment factor, you just don’t get better than that,” one reveller shouted.

Getting robbed or murdered is the highlight for many who attend amongst the jostling, body odoured crowds.

“I saw one pale lady swamped by a pack of them. I didn’t see her ever again, she just went under. They were gyrating their hips as they do, and that was that. She’s gone now. Hyenas in the Savannah have more civility,” a resident revealed, watching from his window.

This event is probably the high spot in the year for every Met policeman and woman in the ruined city sequestered for duty. These misfortunate denizens of law enforcement are called up on duty to somehow police an event that is frankly un-policeable.

As the organ donor business goes, it’s rather hit-and-miss as well.

“Yeah, we do get some quality livers and kidneys sometimes, but a lot of them have had 12-inch zombie knives and such plunged through ’em. Perforated like a fucking Tetley tea bag. No good for us,” the commissioner for the NHS organ donor service, Bill Spleen, told the BBC.

 

ALERT! Someone Has Defiled and Vandalised Comrade Starmer’s Office

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THIS IS AN EMERGENCY ALERT FOR THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF SOVIET BRITAIN

Someone or a group of brigands have entered Comrade Starmer’s office at Number 10 Red Downing Street and defiled the place with banned flags that are not permitted in the PRSB.

The vandals also painted a depiction of the banned flag on Comrade Starmer’s forehead while he was listening to an urgent communiqué detailing his upcoming orders from Brussels.

The Big State will not tolerate such things as nationalism of past historic relics, or concepts like sovereignty. These are deemed as relics of the past imperialistic, capitalist democracies, which are now banned in the PRSB.

Our teams of Stasi agents are now investigating this sordid affair, and whoever is responsible for this outrage will be publicly hanged in Red Parliament Square.

If any of you vile Prole scum find the person who did this, you will be rewarded with double-plus good extra sugar rations of at least 0.003 grams per annum and a box of used, perforated condoms to use at your pleasure.

How Reliable is MasterCard When Using Online Casinos?

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For online casino playing, there’s no harm in defaulting to the main payment method you’re already used to, and for many people, that’s MasterCard.

Like other major credit cards, MasterCard is highly popular and accepted by nearly all online casinos. But is it the safest, fastest, and most trustworthy option when hitting the online slot machines? Find out below.

Why payment methods matter at online casinos

Most fans of online casinos swear by their chosen payment method. That’s because a lot can change depending on which method you choose.

Payment methods at online MasterCard casinos will impact how long the withdrawal times will be, how much the fees will be if there are any at all, as well as general compatibility. Not all online casinos accept a wide range of payment options. Some people will abandon a site or app altogether if it doesn’t have their preferred payment method.

Perhaps the single biggest reason that payment methods matter is online safety. People should always aim to use licensed online casinos to protect themselves from scams or data leaks, and they can take things a step further by only using a secure and safe payment method.

The pros of MasterCard at online casinos

MasterCard is popular for several reasons among online casino customers. One of those reasons is compatibility, along with the convenience that comes with it. Nearly all online casinos accept the three major credit cards — MasterCard, Visa and American Express, making it easy for people to fund their online casino accounts at any time.

MasterCard is also known for its security features. Two-factor authentication and fraud detection are some of MasterCard’s fortes, making it an excellent choice for people who want to feel secure when conducting online transactions.

For transaction speeds, MasterCard also comes out ahead of other payment methods. Though they aren’t instant both ways like some cryptocurrency payments, deposits are normally instant when using MasterCard. This comes in handy for people signing up at a new online casino who are worried about long processing times.

MasterCard credit cards are also compatible with a wide variety of tools that you can use to help with budgeting. When it comes to online gambling, it is always a wise move to plan ahead so you don’t spend too much cash. Online gambling is meant to be seen as a form of entertainment, not a get rich quick scheme. The apps, budgeting tools and e-wallets that MasterCard can be combined with are excellent resources for people who prioritize responsible gambling.

The cons of MasterCard at online casinos

All online casino payment methods have their share of drawbacks, and MasterCard is no exception. Perhaps the most relevant con to discuss are the longer withdrawal times and payout speeds. With online casinos, withdrawing your money after hitting a big jackpot is a euphoric feeling. However, with longer withdrawal times, waiting two or three business days for your cash to arrive never packs quite the same punch.

MasterCard can also be prone to hidden fees on certain transactions. You can always call your bank or read up on the terms and conditions of your online casino to double-check, but the odds are usually good that MasterCard transactions will incur processing fees. There’s also interest charges to be aware of, but these are often dependent on certain regions and don’t always apply.

Perhaps the oddest flaw of using Mastercard at online casinos is that some of them will only accept it as a deposit method, not a withdrawal one. This is due to many factors, including unique regulations that some casinos need to abide by, but if you do end up at one of these casinos then you will need to use a secondary payment method for making withdrawals, which can be annoying.

The easiest way to avoid this is to switch to a payment method that does work both ways, or find an entirely new online casino that accepts Mastercard withdrawals. Both options work fine, so it’s up to you to decide what you are more invested in: the credit card or the casino.

MasterCard is not only a reliable payment option for online casinos, but is easy to use and highly convenient. Many people rely on it to make their online casino transactions, both veterans and beginners who are new to the scene.

It may be lacking when it comes to withdrawal times, as well as withdrawal compatibility, but thanks to its trustworthy reputation and ease of access, it is by far one of the most popular payment options used at online casino sites and apps.

If you already have a MasterCard, it’s a great choice to use at licensed casinos. The speed, security and ease of use make it a solid option to fund your online casino account, so you can use your MasterCard with confidence.

The Kremlin Waltz of Death: Trump, Lavrov, and the Bleeding Carcass of Ukraine

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As clusterfucks go, the so-called “peace process” that staggered out of Alaska like a drunk out of a whorehouse, pants half on, shouting promises it couldn’t keep, rolled on yesterday with brutal Russian honesty. Moscow wasted no time stomping it flat. Lavrov, that cold-eyed bastard in a suit stitched from Soviet hangover fabric and a defiant CCCP t-shirt, declared Russia must have a goddamn veto over anything that happens in Ukraine after the shooting stops. Then, as if to underline the point, the Kremlin lit up the sky with one of its exquisite midnight fireworks displays: shitloads of drones, missiles, steel raining down on the already pulverised corpse of Ukraine.

The clinically insane lunatic Lavrov then rattled on about Istanbul 2022, dragging out that old framework like a bloated corpse pulled from the Dnipro river. He wants Russia and China as benevolent “guarantors” of Ukraine’s security. Kyiv, unsurprisingly, told him to go to hell. But the man doesn’t blink. He just stares through his wire spectacles as though the entire West is a schoolboy he’s about to cane.

Trump, meanwhile, is chewing the fucking furniture. On Truth Social, he ranted that Biden never let Ukraine “fight back,” calling it like an American Football team banned from playing offence. “No chance of winning!” Trump wailed, grease-stained thumbs hammering at his phone like a man swatting cockroaches in the night. That Nobel Peace Prize seems to be getting farther and farther away from his grubby reach.

Europe, in its eternal weak dithering, hinted at sending troops to secure postwar Ukraine. The French puffing Gauloises, the Brits polishing their helmets, the Estonians drunk and eager. Lavrov swatted that idea aside, calling it “foreign intervention.” The Kremlin has turned hypocrisy into an Olympic sport; they invade, rape, and flatten whole cities, then shriek about intervention the moment anyone else shows up.

Putin himself plays the part of the ice-cold poker shark, smiling faintly while raking in the chips. He’ll meet Zelensky, Lavrov said, but only if the agenda is a one-way street to Ukraine’s surrender. No compromise, no middle ground — just humiliation, offered with a polite shrug.

And still the missiles fall. One more dead, fifteen injured, and American companies smouldering in the wreckage. Russia isn’t negotiating, it’s sending a clear message in high explosive: fuck your peace, fuck your business, fuck your illusions.

Ukraine isn’t lying down, either. Its drones are tearing into Russian oil refineries, jacking up petrol prices in Moscow and making the Kremlin’s gangsters sweat. It’s not victory, but it’s pain. Sometimes that’s enough.

The White House, true to form, keeps up its upbeat karaoke routine. “Positive progress,” the spokesmen sing, as if optimism alone could patch over the blood and rubble.

But the truth is uglier. The peace Trump dreamed of is rotting on the floor, gnawed by rats. Lavrov knows it. Putin knows it. Zelensky knows it. And Trump — for all his noise, for all his threats — is still one tweet away from folding the whole goddamn hand.

We keep telling these useless fucks that there’s only two ways to deal with Russians, but of course no one listens to little old us. The war rages on, a grotesque ballroom dance where every step leaves another crater, another body. Call it diplomacy, call it politics, but it’s nothing more than a waltz of death, with Ukraine bleeding out on the floor while the band plays on.

Comrades! We Are Coming For Your Homes Next

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Owning any form of property or assets is to be made illegal in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. These are capitalist things that are not necessary in Soviet Britain, and this is why Comrade Reeves of the People’s Treasury of Soviet England is cooking up a nice form of new taxation and council tax alternative so that our collectivist communist Big State can redistribute your assets into the Big State’s vast perpetually growing black hole. We want the equity in your homes.

Comrade Reeves started off with an imaginary “£22 billion black hole” but thanks to her anti-capitalist budget the PRSB now has an actual £50 billion black hole. Is that not progress or what?

Comrade Reeves will be discontinuing private residence relief. When you sell your own home, the place you live in, you will be charged capital gains tax (CGT) on any increase in its value. This way, you will be robbed of any thoughts of affluence or moving up in the chain. We do not support affluence or aspiration in any way. We will also be charging each homeowner capitalist scum an additional 6% of the value of their home per annum and increase that amount year-on-year until you have nothing left. Don’t worry, your road to ruin will be slow but rest assured we will have our pound of flesh.

Thanks to her diligent work in ruining capitalist swine businesses and seeing the despicable wealthy landed gentry capitalist livestock pig swill flee the PRSB with their gold coins, diamonds and other ill-gotten gains, the country is now a lot poorer and closer to extreme poverty levels. This is okay as long as Big State apparatchiks can have their huge public sector salaries and lavish gold-plated pensions.

This is why you will all lose your homes and the proceeds redistributed into the Big State. We have trapped you proletariat scum with your bourgeois little mansions. We enticed you to build up your wealth and now is the time for us to close the doors on your fucking homes and take everything you worked for, only to give it away to grifters on PIP and useless civil servants who have never worked an honest job in their lives.

We are robbing the working people because frankly you have become too rich, and it’s times like this that we have to say thank you very much, we’re taking your wealth, now goodbye and welcome to the wonderful reality of socialism and communism, one and the same just different words.

As Lenin said with such eloquence: “The goal of socialism is communism”

Remember those words you awful, miserable ‘working people’ tax slave scum.

 

Comrade Starmer Celebrates New Poll Score of Minus 56

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Comrade Starmer today celebrated a new YouGov survey giving his Big State Labour Party a net satisfaction score of minus 56, with just 13% having a positive view and 69% negative.

“Comrades, I am so happy that in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain I am such a popular leader and that the Labour Party has achieved so much already.

“In the new poll, 13% of proletariat scum approved of my party’s supreme leadership. All I can say is that those 13% of people will each get a box of double used toilet paper. Yes, toilet paper that has been used on both sides. Lucky you eh?

labour popularity yougov august 2025

“Additionally, I just decided that the entire statistical research team including the tea lady at YouGov will be executed by firing squad on Thursday.

“I urge all proles to attend the event at Red Trafalgar Square at 2pm promptly to watch the YouGov staff being executed. Be sure to bring the entire family to make a day out of it.

“In other news, comrades, I will be putting forward more popular Labour policies so that my party’s approval rating falls to at least minus eighty percent and commissar Reeves creates another £50 billion budget black hole on top of the one she’s already created. You’ll be the ones who pay for it as well. Yay!

“Thank you for forcibly being made to listen to this wireless broadcast, now kindly fuck off before I have you all shot as well.”

INGSOC NOTICE – IMMINENT EXECUTION OF YOUGOV STAFF

ON THURSDAY AT 2PM THE STAFF FROM POLL AGENCY YOUGOV WILL BE EXECUTED BY FIRING SQUAD IN RED TRAFALGAR SQUARE. PROLES AND HIGH PARTY MEMBERS ARE URGED TO ATTEND. MAKE A DAY OUT OF IT, BRING THE KIDS, THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF ED MILIBAND’S NET ZERO JUICE – A TASTY NUTRITIOUS REFRESHMENT MADE FROM LIQUIDATED TRAITORS OF THE BIG STATE. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN AND REPORT!

AI: Is the Pop Music Biz Model Over?

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Here is an incredible piece of AI pop music creation by Suno.com. The question is, where does the music biz model go from here, where an AI pop/alternative Indie star can sing better than most human pop performers even when they use autotune? Not only that, but the lyrics, music production, is created faster and with better quality than most pop music around today.

This may not be the death of other more quirky and human genres of music, but the squeaky clean world of pop could definitely be seeing some decline.

Rick Beato, the YouTube music maestro, has extensively explored this phenomenon, which serves as a serious wake-up call to a music industry that has been lazily churning out shit for decades with safe clinical pop starlets with pretty much no humanity in their repertoire anyway. In essence, because the music biz model is so sterile anyway, no one really notices the transition to AI music creations.

Loss of control – The music biz, the executives, the producers, the money men, the lawyers — they’ve all lost control.

Yes, AI will never be able to recreate the pure creative genius and energy of the early Van Halen records, Prince or Paco de Lucia, Steve Vai or Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but it will attempt to copy the style of those creations albeit without the true feeling, and human imperfections that make them really human.

It seems the old pop music model controlled by record companies has its days numbered.

Putin Laughing at Back Slapping Weak Western Idiots

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Watching the back slapping western idiots all congratulating themselves needlessly must have been fun for Russian grandmaster Putin.

Apparently the deluded Western politicians have solved everything and now the Ukraine imbroglio is all fine and dandy.

One can imagine the laughter coming from some Kremlin room as Putin watched deluded western Muppets talking about having US and UK troops and air cover over Ukraine. Sure, this would be an ideal situation, but you’d have to be a complete moronic deluded lunatic to think that Putin would ever accept such a situation to occur right on his border.

There is obviously no idea amongst the naive western leaders on how the Russian tyrant thinks and acts. The cold reality is that there are only two ways to deal with someone like Putin.

The entire smoke and mirrors show yesterday was just a show of some sort of unity, but ultimately it was a completely useless exercise that only antagonised and alienated the Russian leader.

The fighting in the trenches will continue in Ukraine despite this pathetic vainglorious display of back slapping western fools.

If the war in Ukraine ends — Putin is in danger of ending as well. Self-preservation is thus a very strong impetus to keep the war going on a perpetual basis.

 

Brits Need to Enjoy More American Football Say NFL Officials

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A contingent of NFL officials plan to tour the UK to promote American football in September.

Starting in Bognor Regis, the NFL officials, coaches and cheerleaders will tour the UK next month in a bus, finally ending the tour in the Outer Hebrides.

“We don’t play that namby-pamby pansy shit like you Brits play rugby or soccer. We play real man’s sports,” one of the staff revealed to the BBC.

Americans love their national sport of American football, and here we see some great examples of their enthusiasm for the game. The NFL wants to spread the love of the American game to the UK.

Toilet Smart Meter Will Charge Brits For How Much They Poo

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Brits will soon be billed for the weight of their poo under proposals to revive a controversial “pay-as-you-poo” (PAYP) system. The idea, likened to a “smart meter for toilets”, would see smart meters weigh household shit, with charges passed on to residents.

“It’s a whopper!”

Advocates say it could reduce waste, boost tax revenue, and even bring down water tax bills. The model has been used successfully in the Netherlands, Belgium and parts of France. The French, for instance, reduced the amount of merde they produce by 86% thanks to a PAYP system and according to Smart Meter statistics, the French are some of the biggest shitters in Europe, Spain being the biggest producers.

Britain briefly experimented with the policy in 2005, when 50,000 homes in South Norfolk trialled the scheme. But technical failures – including Vindaloo poos, inaccurate readings and missed toilet bowl collections – led to chaos, confusion and a 250% surge in public toilet use (shitting in the street).

The trial was swiftly scrapped.

“The technology just didn’t work,” admitted John Flusher, then leader of South Norfolk Council. “If you want to base a tax system on it, it has to work in every toilet bowl, in every street, on every day of the year. Otherwise, the figures are nonsense.”

Two decades later, however, campaigners revealed the landscape has changed.

“Pay-as-you-poo”

Rachel Reeves and the Labour Party have bankrupted Britain and need new ways to tax people. This is why shit is big business and is the ideal tax for Britons, because they produce a lot of it.

“Government policy is shifting towards a shitter-pays principle,” he said. “If PAYP can create more tax revenue and cut waste, it’s hard to see why people wouldn’t back it, they have no choice or say in the matter any way — especially in a bankrupted country like the UK.”

But cost remains a major stumbling block. Equipping Britain’s ageing toilets with on-board weighing technology could be prohibitively expensive.

“If you do a fucking whopper in the toilet — you’re going to have to pay more tax. It’s as simple as that,” Council boss for Framlington, Michael Winnit, told the BBC.

Supporters insist the shitty benefits could be transformative. Research by the Institute for European Environmental Turd Policy found little evidence of discontent where PAYP has been introduced, with many communities reporting higher support after implementation.