Corbyn Calls Boris Johnson a ‘Fopdoodling Old Scobberlotcher!’

SCUNTHORPE - England - After being called a 'mutton-headed mugwump' by Boris Johnson the other day, illiterate Labour party advisers have been scouring dictionaries for hours on end trying to find something suitable to shout back at the Conservative Foreign Secretary.

 

“We don’t usually look at dictionaries, our only reference book is George Orwell’s 1984, and the Karl Marx/Engels Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei translated into easy to read English.

“Mr. Johnson certainly caught us on the backfoot, and after much deliberation and debate, we came up with a suitable retort,” a Labour election adviser told the Guardian.

Today at a press conference in Scunthorpe, Jeremy Corbyn angrily took the microphone and called Boris Johnson a ‘fopdoodling old scobberlotcher’ to much laughter from the assembled comrades and proles.

When asked what those words meant, the Labour leader was absolutely clueless, as these are words he was told to say by his election campaign aides.

“As I said earlier, I only read communist books and manifestos. I have no time to read literature of any other kind, and when I am in power, most intellectuals and literate people will be executed, because we don’t like people cleverer than us around. They’re dangerous, and that Boris will be first on the gallows,” a determined Corbyn told the assembled crowd to much cheer.