Commissar Angela Rayner has announced that the People’s Soviet Republic of Britain is banning local elections because they are seen as a democratic threat to the communist rule of the country.
Banning local elections
“If you think about protesting the banning of democracy in the UK, might I remind you what happened in Tiananmen Square in China in the 1990s. As Labour is aligned with our comrades in China, along with the CCP, we too will crack down on any form of dissent. You saw what Comrade Starmer did to the people during the riots in the summer, well, this time it will be even worse.
“My red ginge minge can get very angry, and it has a voracious appetite, so watch out. You don’t want to get on my bad side. It’ll eat you up.
“Well, that’s enough about my chuff, I’m really serious about this. We are being threatened by democracy, so we’re stopping local elections until the Reform Party is deleted from existence. Remember comrades, elections are democratic. Yuck!”
INGSOC ORDER 498802221A-YH
CITIZEN AMY RICHARDS, 9, OF PERRYWELL CRESCENT, RADLETT, HERTFORDSHIRE WILL BE REWARDED WITH TWO USED LOLLYPOPS AND A TURNIP FOR REPORTING FOUR TEACHERS AND HER OWN FATHER TO THE AUTHORITIES FOR THOUGHTCRIMES AGAINST THE STATE. THE CRIMINALS WERE TAKEN AWAY THIS MORNING AND LIQUIDATED. CITIZENS OF BALDCOCK VILLAGE, BUCKINGHAMSHIRE WILL ALL BE REWARDED WITH ONE MONTH’S SUPPLY OF USED TOILET PAPER BECAUSE THEY ACCEPTED BY FORCE 250,000 SOVIET SOCIAL HOUSING SCHEMES TO BE BUILT ON THE LAST REMAINING GREEN BELT LAND DIRECTLY ADJACENT TO THEIR VILLAGE. WHEN THEY ARE ALSO FORCED TO ACCEPT A MEGA PRISON (GULAG) HOUSING 450,000 INMATES, THEY WILL ALL RECEIVE A DOUBLE PLUS GOOD THREE-MONTH SUPPLY OF USED CONDOMS AND TAMPONS.
