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Constantly Kneeling African Americans Unproductive in Work Force Say Bosses

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It’s hard enough for some people to get to do a day’s work in the first place, but having them constantly kneeling on the ground is really cutting into productivity some bosses for major companies are complaining.

“We hired DaQuan Jonquil Teneel Esq. III, you know to do some filing, but all he does is kneel on the floor now. It’s hard because I asked him to move some files across the room to our copy administration person and it took him half an hour to go four metres, by that time we had lost an important client, now we just email the documents,” an exasperated boss at Google’s Mountain View campus revealed.

Jacquinda Quanell Jackson, a secretary for a top law firm in New York City, is also under the microscope as she kneels now on a constant basis, even delivering coffee to her bosses whilst on one knee.

“I aksed her, I said, Jacquinda, I been working six hours straight on this case, can you get me the Masterson papers and a cup of coffee. Took her another four hours to bring the things I wanted to the office on one knee. By that time I was ready to put some lead into anything that moved,” an angry attorney at Licksbittle Thompson Speares Litigation added.

Shamon Labronce Ebolaishaun, an English teacher for Gaitesberg High School in Massachusetts, kneels constantly in and out of class. The headteacher for the school does not know how to deal with the situation, as many of the kids are baffled as well.

“Shamon is kneeling from 7 am in the morning in the staff meeting till 4 pm in the afternoon. He even kneels whilst conducting English lessons to the pupils much to our dismay about his behaviour, there is nothing we can do to rectify the situation as to fire him would see us condemned for racism,” the distraught headmaster revealed.

Waquisha Simone Laptoyanqua, a nurse at a Los Angeles hospital has been kneeling for weeks now and many patients’ lives have been put in danger. Her bosses are at their wits end at what do about her?

“One of our patients was having a cardiac arrest, we asked Waquisha to get the defibrillator to save the man’s life. It would have taken her at least an hour to shuffle whilst kneeling to the emergency equipment cupboard, so the doctor bypassed her, rushed to the cupboard, retrieved the defibrillator and rushed to save the man’s life. If was not for his quick thinking, the patient would have died,” a furious hospital administrator added.

Raymond Wantinka Johnsons, a shoeshiner from New York City constantly kneels for his clients when he’s spit shining shoes on the corner of 5th Avenue. He is the only one who can get away with a kneeling protest, because he kneels all the time any way.

“I am protesting and spit shining at the same time. I can make mirrors outta shoes. At the same time I’m kneeling in protest. The good thing is I make $80 a day and they don’t even know I’m protesting,” Raymond quips before setting upon a new customer.

 

Ex-NFL Fans Welcome to Support Rugby

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As the many protests across the United States are ongoing as disgusted NFL fans burn their expensive gear and season tickets due to multi-millionaire black players kneeling in protest during the American national anthem, the Rugby world holds out a hand of friendship to the ex-NFL fans.

Why not watch the game of rugby instead? In fact, the game of rugby is what American football is derived from, one of the only differences in the game is that rugby players do not wear steel helmets or body armour.

It is claimed that a pupil of Rugby school, William Webb Ellis, invented the game of rugby in 1823, however this is disputed by some.

American football adopted many of the features of the game of rugby including the goal posts, the shape of the ball, and the scoring system where the ball crosses the goal post line and is touched down.

Dear Ex-NFL fans,

It is truly disgraceful that highly-paid members of your teams as well as NFL management have sided with a ridiculous protest, when the field should be about the game and nothing else. To disrespect the American national anthem when so many have died so that people can live under a free democracy is the biggest kick in the teeth, especially for veterans and those serving in the military today. U.S. soldiers put their lives at risk every day, not for some over-paid ungrateful idiot who cannot string a coherent sentence together, to get down on their knee and disrespect you the fans, America and all who gave their lives for the country.

This is why you should watch Rugby Union right now. They do not show disrespect when the anthem is played, and would welcome you to the sport with open arms.

Don’t forget, rugby is where American football came from, so why not go back to the real roots of the game. We welcome you with open arms.

Rugby is a game played by real men with no body pads, body armour, shoulder pads or steel helmets and no ridiculous socialist protests. Real injuries, real skill, real spirit — a real game.

Experts: How It’s Going to Take At Least 10 More Years to Erase Obama Legacy

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All the Soviet Marxist agitators, radical feminazis, trans social spreaders, anti-free speech, LGBTQPs, Black Lives Matter, Antifa terrorists etc have all become even more enraged due to not only losing front of stage under the Obama supremacy but the new president Trump coming into ascendancy.

Socialists, Marxists, Communists are actually more dangerous when they’re on the backfoot, because they have more to fight for, and become even more triggered than usual.

“These people are brainwashed Marxist Alinskyite indoctrinated pawns of guys like Soros and Obama.

“Their role is simply to divide communities, create a climate of hatred, and turn families against each other.

“The funny thing is once they complete their jobs, they will be discarded like used tissues by their masters,” an informed person revealed about the plan.

 

The brutal truth is that even though the U.S. is meant to be led by a Republican president, Donald Trump has been wholly ineffectual in pretty much every effort he has made to move America towards a more patriotic family orientated stance. This is because of the guerilla warfare tactics being used by the extreme leftists who are funded by various sovietized groups and rich individuals.

“It will take many years of de-programming of America’s youth, who are now entrenched in their Safe Spaces and Microaggression politically correct socialist world and are mollycoddled every step of the way by their educators (Marxist indoctrinators).

“Either, people pipe down, or within a year or so we will have civil war. Let me guess who will win any type of war?

 

“Well, it won’t be the feminist soviet activist transgender BLM gay safe spacers for sure, because they can’t shoot a gun.

“They were trained by Obamamites to hate guns, so they would be defenceless easy targets for the heavily trained and armed conservative Americans.

“It would be like a turkey shoot, or shooting fish in a barrel,” a militia man from Wisconsin added.

Unfortunately, it’s not just the college kids who have been indoctrinated in communist theory and ideals, under the eight long years of Obama rule, the major tech companies were under his spell, and these large internet all-controlling conglomerates are fighting against free speech as well. If the message is Marxist or socialist it is allowed, however any other opinion is censored and relegated to the bottom of the search results or removed completely.

New Smart Glasses Powered By Bogies in Your Nose

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Google, a company that spends billions of dollars on research and development, still hasn’t found a good reason for everyone to own a pair of smart glasses. But an international team of researchers is rethinking how upgraded glasses could be useful—by turning the wearer’s nose bogies into a discreet power source.

Computer scientists from SHAISTER University in South Korea, the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, the Georgia Institute of Technology in the United States, and Fukuoku University in Japan, took a unique approach to the smart glasses they designed. As detailed in a new paper, ItchyNoseBogey: Discreet Power Integration using proprietary energy cell technology in Smart Eyewear, being presented today at the International Symposium on Wearable Computers, instead of trying to carry around a massive battery pack they simply added a series of electrooculographic energy transducer lithium impulse generators to the bridge and nose pads of the glasses.

These energy transducer cells are designed to measure electrical signals in and around the nose, and have been used for powering the Smart glasses from the bogeys of a user.

Chief project engineer, Lee Yon Fuk, revealed that the “bigger the bogey, the longer you can charge the Smart Glasses” and that “sneezing your nose into a special electroconducting cellular energy transducing tissue” gives the device a much needed power surge.

The smart glasses, which look no different than a regular pair of specs, are apparently able to discern between the wearer flicks, holding, or rubbing their bogeys with a finger, and those subtle movements can be translated into further electrical energy creation within the microbattery transducer charging system within the device.

 

So imagine you’re sitting in a meeting and have to look like you’re paying rapt attention to your boss’ every word, but you’d rather be digging deep in your nasal cavity for that elusive, scratchy bogey. A simple finger in your nose, which wouldn’t look out of place, could let you jumpstart your device if it’s low on charge. The glasses love bogeys of all shapes and sizes, long greenies, sloppy sneezies or those hard edged bogies that you have to really dig for.

The key aspect of these smart glasses is that you could be stuck in a desert where there are no usb power points, or you could be on a desert island where there is no electricity. Just dig into your nostrils, and pick out a nice juicy bogey, feed it into the integral power inducing system et voila, you now have enough power for a week.

This incredible technology will be available next year, and already Barbara Streisand has ordered five pairs of Smart glasses from the tech team. How’s that for marketing?

Adolf Hitler’s Soiled Underpants Sold For $6,737 at US Auction

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The brutal dictator Hitler’s briefs, which have a ‘surprisingly large’ 39-inch waist and are initialled ‘A.H.’, were left behind in a suite at the luxury Parkhotel Graz in Austria after he stayed there in December 1941.

The Führer had been staying in the hotel when he heard the news of Germany’s defeat at the hands of the Russians during the ill-fated Operation Barbarossa invasion of Russia.

Auctioneer Ronnie Papadapadapapoulos said he believed the underwear was sent to the hotel’s laundry department but were rejected and were only returned after Hitler and his entourage had checked out in a hurry.

The seller was the grandson of the hotel’s owners at the time.

Ronnie, who owns Bilko’s Historical Auctions in Takoma Park, Maryland, where the 19-inch long white linen shorts sold for $6,737 (£4,991) to a private buyer, said they were in ‘pristine shit stained’ condition.

He added: “People were flocking to this Adolf Hitler underwear like bluebottles to a freshly laid steamy doggy turd.

“This is a very rare item, I mean it’s gotta Hitler shit stain directly down the back. People can actually smell it even after all those years.

“They were retained in the family who owned the hotel, which is very prestigious, for almost 80 years, and when we got them they were wrapped in tissue paper in a box. The smell is still slightly there but over time it has faded. Nevertheless, it shows that Hitler was just a human, he shit his pants when the Russians pushed the Jerries out of Russia.

“It’s a fascinating thing. It’s as close as you can get to Adolf Hitler, literally.”

Ronnie, 58, who ruled out selling the shorts to any member of the political far right before the auction, added: “I imagine the buyer would probably frame the shorts. It would be the most talked about relic in the house.”

Hitler stayed in the hotel a week before Germany was pushed out of Russia with a terrible defeat for the German army and Ronnie believes Hitler was touring the country ahead of returning to his retreat in the Bavarian mountains to lick his wounds.

The item’s description read: “A monogrammed pair of Adolf Hitler’s striped white linen under shorts with a 12.5 inch skid mark in the back. The shorts are surprisingly large – 19-inches long, with a waist of about 39 inches.”

Naive Theresa May So Gullible She Falls For Nigerian Email Scam

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Poor old Theresa May, she hasn’t been having a good time of it lately. Scammed by the EU to extend Brexit by an extra two years so that the EU can charge Britain through the teeth, then add on an extra leaving bill on after that — May has committed the UK to financial slavery to the EU for many years to come.

According to Theresa May’s senior aides, the PM is so gullible that she actually replied to a Nigerian email scam asking her to deposit $4.5 billion in an account in Lagos. Theresa May was so taken by the email in her inbox, that she bypassed key Treasury clearance protocols and okayed the funds herself, much to the chagrin of the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

“She’s so naive, and gullible that we have to keep an eye on her at all times,” another Number 10 staff member told the Telegraph.

The letter that Theresa May received was the classic Nigerian scam, and after much wrangling we were able to get some excerpts:

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakundo Elotunde, the second cousin once removed of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Mnongo Elotunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 5 space station in 1978. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-15Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-15Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humour, but wants to come home.

In the 27-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15 billion American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 4.5 billion American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Thankfully, the gullible PM was thwarted from sending any funds to Nigeria on Friday, when senior Treasury staff were alerted to the PM’s actions and stepped in to stop the money transfer at the last moment.

“Luckily we saved not only the PM’s blushes, but the taxpayer from falling foul from this terrible scam. We would like to alert anyone else who thinks about replying to any such email not to do so. Only the dumbest, most naive gullible idiot would fall for such a see-through scam, isn’t that right Mrs May?” the Foreign Secretary quipped during a press meeting on Monday.

Uber Re-branded As Luber

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The former taxi company Uber is re-branding its image and name after losing the almighty London contract thanks to Labour Mayor Sadiq Khan and TFL.

“Our new image now is a big tube of lube, that’s why we’re now called Luber,” Chief marketing strategist in charge of the project, Slippy Slider told the Evening Standard.

The multi-million pound rebranding operation took two minutes to conceive thanks to the help of advertising agency Kitch Flannel Joelkins who won the contract after a massive bidding war between rival agencies.

“I was at my Madam’s house, who I visit every Tuesday. I had just been given the Uber rebranding contract and just as I was slipping into my latex suit I stepped on a large tube of Lube and hit my head on the Madam’s boot. Picking up the tube of lube, I immediately made the connection UBER – LUBER,” creative consultant, Miles Abergumber revealed.

Well, now that there will not be any Uber cabs in London, former clients can rest assured that the Uber board of directors will be using plenty of Luber lube. Let us congratulate Luber on its new business direction.

 

That Theresa May No Brexit Florence Speech in Full

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Wiff waff wiff waff gurgle gurgle Philip Hammond told me to wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff

squidgie squodge squodge wiff waff Brexit delayed till 2021…our EU friends and

Remoaners wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff cough coughety cough Boris sit down and be a good

boy now, shhhhh, no Brexit till 2025 wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff 5,000 word essay on

nothing wiff waff wiff waff UK will pay Brussels whatever they want wiff waff wiff waff wiff

waffle waffle waffle waffle bullshit! Wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff European Courts of Justice

wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff sold off Britain for a pittance wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff anal

beads waffle waffle waffle Boris stay sitting down there’s a good boy, heel! Wiff waff wiff

waff shoe shopping in Milan waffle waffle waffle cough gurgle our dear EU friends wiff waff

wiff waff Brexit will not happen until 2021 wiff waff wiff waff wiff waff passporting wiff waff

wiff waff no Boris keep your fat buttocks on that chair wiff waff wiff waff no Brexit till 2021

Beastie Boys wiff waff wiff waff  remoan remoan remoan ad infinitum…….

Mel Brooks Right On How Political Correctness Killing Comedy

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Mel Brooks, a giant, a monster of comedic timing and innuendo has chimed in on the current political correct censorship malaise infecting the climate of comedic discourse these days.

“It’s not good for comedy. Comedy has to walk a thin line, take risks,” he said.

“Comedy is the lecherous little elf whispering in the king’s ear, always telling the truth about human behaviour.”

Offending anyone is now pretty much forbidden, jokes are not allowed that relate to anything that is about human society or culture, the newspapers are filled with socialist snowflake censors masquerading as ‘journalists’ when they would not look out of place in the Ministry of Truth in George Orwell’s 1984 or some deranged feminazi re-education facility in Soviet Russia.

 

The media establishments from the right to the left are now censorship driven indoctrinated propaganda machines that constantly drive the politically correct message to their brainwashed audience. If for one second there is any dissent or an opposing opinion in the comments section, it is immediately deleted. There is now very little distinction between any mainstream media organization with regards to the PC agenda.

The level of indoctrination of course comes firstly from the education system, where the latest generation are now called ‘snowflakes’ alluding to their propensity to be constantly offended by everything.

 

Melt You

To live a life as a ‘snowflake generation’ member must be truly intolerable, it is a state of perpetual distress, constant Marxist marching with ridiculous signs aloft, and the threat of ones ‘safe space‘ being invaded so horribly that suicide probably crosses their intolerant blinkered micro-aggression frazzled minds on a constant basis. These are people who are supposed to be progressives but cannot progress above any thought apart from following other ‘snowflakes’ like lemmings onto the next useless dehumanising cause. Just fucking kill yourselves already, at least this will free up some carbon emissions on the planet.

 

Thanks to these sovietized brainwashed jerks, comedy and humour is now something you find from watching past comedians and shows. The sad part is that it will get worse, and worse, like some sort of sharia ISIS wet dream, the last of the comedian warriors will be strung up, whipped and dragged through the streets in front of jeering politically correct crowds dressed all in grey suits.

Is there a flicker of light at the end of this dystopian humourless socialist nightmare we are all now forced to live in? Everything is now censored to death, to laugh is now a crime, freedom of expression is a pipe dream that can only be realised by shutting up shop and living a life of silence.

Yes, one can achieve true freedom of speech.

Here is how:

  1. Only write on a typewriter, paper, or a computer not connected to the internet.
  2. Never publish your words. Don’t worry about this one, because no one in the current PC malaise will publish you any way.
  3. Read your words yourself and chuckle to yourself. Never show another soul what you wrote.

Why Being Anti-EU Does Not Mean You Are Anti-Europe

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Let us clear a few things up here. Europe is a beautiful continent with wonderful people, each country within Europe have their own customs, their own cuisine, and in all respects Europe is a great place to travel or live in — however, the EU, is a separate body to Europe, and this distinction is an important one.

EU is a Separate Body to Europe

The EU is a totalitarian state moving towards a super-state which will have its own autonomous army led by the Bundeswehr (German army). An EU army will not only be a threat to NATO but Russia will be coaxed eventually into conflict with this massive army on their very doorstep. The EU high command will want to achieve what Napoleon, and Hitler could not achieve.

The EU is a pseudo fascistic soviet construct that was catapulted into supremacy after the Berlin Wall fell and Stasi agents swarmed into the system.

Not only is the EU run by unelected bureaucrats, but it is a monolithical Borg-like juggernaut that overruns nations first economically, then slowly strips each nation of its identity and wealth.

Unless you have communistic soviet values, there is no reason in hell why you want to be a subjugate of the EU, to have freedom-stripping restrictive laws dictated to you each day, to have unjust fines and red tape put on your business sectors, and to have no say in how you spend your own money. Why on earth would anyone want to agree to such a thing, unless you are stupid or lazy, or both?

What about the Schengen zone, a utopian idea which is inherently a good one in a world where there is no crime, terrorism or war? Here is a zone where there are no checks on the border leading to a vast corridor where heavy arms, drugs, sex trafficking, human trafficking and terrorists can travel with ease. Every time there is another terrorist atrocity, think about how those guys were aided by the Schengen zone — an idea that the EU Commission, an unelected body refuse to curtail to even stop these attacks on Europeans. It does not matter how many troops you have on the streets flashing their guns, the terrorists simply move around freely from one spot to another.

There is also a serious disparity within the EU nations. The poor South opposed to the rich North. As of now, there is a vast population movement from the poor EU nations who entrench and colonise the richer nations in the EU. This mass migratory economically related movement has fuelled a serious disparity in the EU, and without balance of some sort, there will eventually be a tipping point, either with an economic crash or with serious civil unrest.

EU is Undemocratic

The major sticking point with the EU, is that it is undemocratic. Even the current EU president, Jean Claude Juncker has no qualms about admitting this :

On British calls for a referendum over Lisbon Treaty

“Of course there will be transfers of sovereignty. But would I be intelligent to draw the attention of public opinion to this fact?,”

On French referendum over EU constitution

“If it’s a Yes, we will say ‘on we go’, and if it’s a No we will say ‘we continue’,”

On the introduction of the euro

“We decide on something, leave it lying around, and wait and see what happens. If no one kicks up a fuss, because most people don’t understand what has been decided, we continue step by step until there is no turning back.”

In fact the EU is so undemocratic, it is nigh on impossible to get out of it. We see this with Brexit, and how the unelected leaders seek to make it as hard as possible to leave. This mafia-like construct is the anti-thesis of everything that should reside in a Western democracy, and to find it deep in Europe like some octopus grip over nations is a sad sight to behold.

Mikhail Gorbachev, the former Soviet leader once stood back, post-perestroika and glasnost, looked at the EU and said in wonderment:

“The most puzzling development in politics during the last decade is the apparent determination of Western European leaders to re-create the Soviet Union in Western Europe.”

It is also with great puzzlement and bewilderment that there would be people in the UK or in any democratic nation who would not oppose the undemocratic sovietized EU. However, one only has to see the outraged Remoaners, brainwashed youth and Marxist politicians on the extreme left who do not oppose being ruled over by the EU. Therefore, one can only conclude that communism is once again making large inroads amongst large swathes of Britain’s population. One only has to read history to see that communism is not only a mass killing doctrine of about 160 million people, but it is a severely limiting construct on human freedom, and anyone who supports the EU is supporting this evil communistic agenda.

Will they ever wake up from their stupor? Who knows? Once these people have been brainwashed by EU soviet propaganda and conditioning over many years, they are either so weak minded or unintelligent that they know nothing else.

Within Britain today, treachery against democracy and freedom is very much alive. These Remoaners want us to live in an EU prison forever, and they will gladly relinquish their own Britishness for it, sell off their own countrymen, without qualms. These Lord and Lady Haw Haws need to either wake up or be somehow shut down, as they are inherently a danger to the democratic functioning of our nation.

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