17.7 C
London
Wednesday, July 15, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 393

Techniques Horror Movies Use to Scare Us

0

Some people love the rush they get from watching horror films, while others completely hate it and can’t understand why anyone would choose to watch something with the intention of scaring themselves! Even though watching a horror movie the viewer knows it is isn’t real, the best horror films are still able to leave you on the edge of your seat, ready to scream, but how are they able to have this effect?

When watching a film usually the motor regions of the brain are temporarily shut down, but in the case of many horror films the stimuli are so strong that it can overcome the inhibition to the motor system.

The viewer then automatically jumps or screams, as an automatic reaction designed to both protect us and warn others of danger. So much so that this actually happens before we even process what has actually caused the fear.

Horror films have been scaring viewers for more than a century, but it is only recently that neuroscience has been able to be used to explain the reaction in the brain whilst watching a horror.

Many different elements are used within horror films with the purpose of frightening the viewer. The fear of death, which for most is the ultimate fear is often used, both in reality and psychologically. So that, the majority of horrors audiences will see at least one character reach their death. This is heightened even further, the more vile and evil the character is, like Gollum in The Hobbit franchise.

The dark is often a childhood fear of many and is used within horror films to incite fear, by making the viewer wonder what is hiding or lurking in the shadows and ready to jump out.

The best movies of this genre always contain elements of suspense within them. Suspense involves the creation of anticipation that something bad is about to occur, but not knowing when. Some of the most shocking scenes within horror films will create a mass of suspension, which will then end in something happening on the screen that will really shock the viewer, for example one of the main characters getting killed, usually in some gruesome manner.

Music is also used often to create anticipation and fear within horror movies and it can be used to create moods and elicit emotions. It helps to amplify the feelings of shock and suspense within the viewer.

Currently, horror devotees tend to agree that it is the Japanese who have discovered the right formula when it comes to horror. This breed of horror films has become really popular worldwide, but why are they so scary? Japanese horror movies really tend to focus on the psychological and suspense aspects within horror and will often heavily feature paranormal activity and also themes of exorcism, shamanism and possession.

Some historical elements of Kaidan, which is Japanese folklore is also often found within these films, many of them containing stories of ghosts. It is clear to see that the elements of Japanese horror are now finding their way over to the Western movie making world, by looking at films such as Paranormal Activity, which features many of the same fear inducing traits that are familiar within Japanese horror.

Therefore, we can see that many factors are utilised in the making of any horror film. The scariest and more often than not, the most successful movies, will find the perfect combination to keep audiences in a state of constant fear and anxiety. This mental state is, believe it or not, exactly what audiences are looking for and no doubt they will demand even more as time goes on.

All British Police to Finally Be Armed

0

The British police have been putting their lives at risk for too long, and thankfully this is all about to change as all police officers will finally be allowed to carry firearms, and join their colleagues from every other country in the world.

The amount and level of crime has increased to such a level, that it was ridiculous to suppose that police officers would attend crimes in progress armed with nothing other than a puny truncheon and a pair of handcuffs.

“Criminals these days carry an assortment of weapons from machetes to AK-47s. You would get a policeman arriving at a crime scene, and he would be faced with thugs running at him armed to the teeth while he gets his little truncheon out and is tasked in taking down these criminals. If the policeman gets away alive or is not seriously injured, then it’s a miracle,” Superintendent DCI Kevin Plodder, told the BBC.

The new government white paper outlining the arming of every policeman in Britain will be published in full next week. There will also be a 60,000 increase in officers by 2020, and a budget increase of 75%. Routine stop and search will be conducted in areas where crime is prevalent.

“A policeman or woman has a right to defend themselves from heavily armed criminals. This is why our police will now be trained and armed in firearms,” a member of the policy team announced on Tuesday.

What kind of firearms will the police now be trained and armed with?

Each squad car will be equipped with an assortment of weapons including pump action shotguns, automatic weapons and tasers. All police will routinely be equipped with handguns and tasers whilst on patrol.

“The level of crime is at such a level at the moment that our rules of engagement will be upgraded to shoot to kill. Our officers will also be protected from prosecution and most cases will be accepted by the courts as just proportionate action,” police spokesman, Andy Grenville, added.

Recent polling has shown that arming all police officers in Britain has received a positive response with 85% approval rating.

Barren Witch Threatens to Cancel Brexit and Fracture Conservative Party

0

Not content with betraying the nation with a contractual debacle that will tie Britain into certain slavery for eternity with the EU, this barren witch with a coal black womb, does not have much heart either, as it is black as well.

Sitting in her den, her cauldron boils over with many insidious ingredients, as she stirs the vast pot bubbling with vicious plans for the future.

“My masters, I have vowed treachery upon those in Britain, they must be punished, my masters tell me every day, it must be done at any cost. There are many now trying to stop me seeing through their plan, and my masters have given me the green light to achieve the goal of imprisoning Britain forever in the EU. Whether tis to ruin the Conservative party, that is no consequence to me or my masters, because we only care for one thing. Yes-s-s, to push through the plan, to sign the contract, as it was scribed by my masters, I have to get this through. (the witch pauses to throw a live frog into the boiling cauldron) I am bolstered from the top, and these mice of men below in the backbenches are nothing to me, and they will fail miserably as our power of evil is too great. There is nothing they can do.”

The witch rubs her belly, for she wishes to punish the whole country for her state of barrenness.

“All these vile people in Britain who can have children. Not I, my blackened diseased womb, is the same as Merkel’s, for this we are sisters in inequity, in shameful detestation of everything that is good, like the right to self-determination, sovereignty and national borders, where the little kiddies can run around happy in their playgrounds. We can only look at those little pattering feet and feel disdain, avarice and extreme jealousy.”

As the Number 10 cat saunters into the den where the witch is working, it suddenly realises its mistake and tries to make a run for it.

“Not too fast me dearie, hmm, the cauldron needs some more ingredients. Cat, cat, felix, fluffy one, into the cauldron of doom you go, with the people of Britain, and all things that are good like freedom, liberty, and sovereignty, to your doom, doom you go, just like my blackened womb, to doom you must go! (the witch tosses the squealing cat into the cauldron)

We Need Urgency to Thwart Theresa May’s EU Surrender Deal

0

It’s NOT a Brexit, so we will not call it one. What Theresa May is touting is a total surrender to the EU, and she wants us to pay £39 billion of taxpayers money for the pleasure.

EMERGENCY BROADCAST

We need urgency right now. This is no time to mince about and twiddle thumbs, or to think about it, we need action right now.

The Conservative MPs who are enabling Theresa May in her surrender betrayal are disgusting sycophants and remainers.

BOJO.-MAYJPG
twitter

The others currently in the Cabinet must seriously think about what they are doing. They are enabling a surrender to the EU proposed by Michel Barnier and Theresa May. If you do not find the right path and resign from May’s Cabinet, you are complicit in her treachery.

Conservative MPs must back the no confidence vote, because Theresa May is the problem,

and if she does not go, and go soon, there will be more turmoil for many years to come. Her proposal will condemn Britain to thirty years of riots and political turmoil, with no one ever trusting the Tories ever again.

If you are a Conservative MP, you are implored to do the right thing and support May’s ousting. For the good of the country and its future, it is imperative that she is either made to resign or forcibly resigned from her post.

There is no hope for Theresa May, and we have asserted numerous times that she is the Chequers deal and it is her, but no one listened then, even though MPs are waking up now to her complicit methods of pushing her surrender through parliament.

This is an emergency, and MPs must act now, decisively with haste, but it must be measured haste of course, as timing counts as well. There is no way that something as bad as this deal should ever be allowed anywhere near a signature. Time is running out. Please read this and act now. For the good of the country, you can make a difference in parliament if you are a Conservative MP who cares about their country.

Please spread these words far and wide, as every tick of the clock is a moment lost in action to save the nation. Write to your MP, call their offices, go and see them at your constituency surgeries. DO IT!

UPDATE 17/11/18: There is news that some action is being taken, but whether it will come to anything positive is another story.

aut neca aut necare

We Tried to Interview Theresa May About Her Draft EU Deal

0

As the Daily Squib’s political correspondent, I was privileged to be given access to Theresa May at Number 10, Downing Street.

This is a time of great crisis for the Prime Minister, who is trying to sell her ‘Brexit’ deal to the parliament and country.

DS: Prime minister May, thank you kindly for granting us access, especially in this time of turmoil and political chaos.

TM: I am firmly committed to conducting the Brexit the people voted for, to take the UK out of the customs union, to control migration, to take the UK out of the Common Agricultural Policy, to take the UK out of the EU fisheries policy and to take back control.

DS: How can we get out of the customs union when there is a clause tying the UK to the EU permanently? Even your attorney general, Geoffrey Cox, warned you and the cabinet that this will be nigh on impossible to get out of, and even if the UK tries to get out of it, it will take decades of lawyers working day and night at huge cost to the country. Not only that, you have conceded to pay the EU £39 billion for the pleasure of imprisonment and nothing else to show for it.

TM: I am firmly committed to conducting the Brexit the people voted for, to take the UK out of the customs union, to control migration, to take the UK out of the Common Agricultural Policy, to take the UK out of the EU fisheries policy and to take back control.

DS. Do you think it was right for a Remainer to try to conduct a Brexit? Most of the Cabinet are Remainers, and most of the civil service, Treasury and Bank of England. Your deal looks like it is a remain document as opposed to a Brexit document. In other words, everything is geared towards appeasing the EU with massive capitulations making the UK into a vassal state with no say or get out clause.

TM: I am firmly committed to conducting the Brexit the people voted for, to take the UK out of the customs union, to control migration, to take the UK out of the Common Agricultural Policy, to take the UK out of the EU fisheries policy and to take back control.

DS: How do you respond to the mass ministerial resignations from the party and your cabinet in protest at the deal you have presented?

TM: I am firmly committed to conducting the Brexit the people voted for, to take the UK out of the customs union, to control migration, to take the UK out of the Common Agricultural Policy, to take the UK out of the EU fisheries policy and to take back control.

DS: You keep saying that but the document says otherwise. Why do you say one thing when you are presenting something completely different? This document keeps the UK tied to the EU indefinitely. Why are you lying? Are you going to give a free vote on this draft to parliament Mrs May? Please answer the questions, Mrs May.

TM: I am firmly committed to conducting the Brexit the people voted for, to take the UK out of the customs union, to control migration, to take the UK out of the Common Agricultural Policy, to take the UK out of the EU fisheries policy and to take back control (frothing at the mouth).

DS: Are you okay Mrs. May (concerned)?

TM: Error syntax error (zzzzzst) compilation error (sparks flying) Trying to reboot (tsssssssszzzk) run time error (smoke coming from ears) logic overload motherboard error! (zzzzzst) shut down! shut down!

Number 10 technicians in white coats immediately rush in with an assortment of screwdrivers, pliers and cranks. They try to repair Mrs May, who at one point tries dancing but her leg falls off.

I bid my farewell, and flee Downing Street, traumatised by what I have witnessed.

BRINO Latest: Theresa May Appoints Remain Minister

0

BRINO PM Theresa May has appointed a Remain minister to be in charge of remaining in the EU.

“I have dispensed with Brexit ministers, that’s two of them to be precise. Instead of a Brexit minister, I have decided to appoint a Remain minister, because it falls more in line with my BRINO Chequers deal. No, I will not take anymore comments thank you,” the PM hurriedly announced this morning.

What will the Remain minister’s duties involve?

Olly Robbins, kindly explained the role of the Remain minister to waiting press outside Number 10 Downing Street.

“As chief Remain operative, we had no qualms about ignoring our previous Brexit ministers, so we are dispensing with the whole Brexit thing anyway due to our remain stance and the cleverly worded dossier we presented to the people that explains why we will remain in the EU. Brexit actually means Remain. Just thought I might reiterate that point. For every step out of the EU, we are assuring the UK makes four steps back into the EU.”

The Remain Minister, Jean Claude Juncker, will start work immediately, first by simply reading Theresa May’s BRINO deal and explaining to reporters why leaving the EU means remaining in the EU.

Perpetually Offended Person Offended by the Concept of Being Offended

0

Perpetually offended Social Justice Warrior, and keen activist in all socialist matters, ranging from LGBTQP affairs, feminism, no borders, soviet ideology, marxism, and the ideal communist state, Hugh Mungus, is in a state of perpetual offence.

“I wake up in the morning and the first thing I hear are the words, ‘good morning’ and I shout to my roommate that this is a form of racist linguistic capitalist imperialist sexist white-male created offensive greeting that assumes it is a good morning in our Western capitalist bourgeois society when there are people in Africa NOT having a good morning. They are having a shit morning because they live in a corrugated iron shack and have to walk for five hours to fill a bucket full of dirty muddy water to fucking drink from.”

Mr. Mungus, who attends Berkeley college in California is so outraged that he now deems all society, biology and science offensive as well as the concept of being offended as offensive.

“I am outraged and offended at offence. It is offensive and hateful to be in this perpetual state and the concept of being offended is offending. Being offended in itself is an offensive stance to the state of offence and offending. Being offended is no doubt in my mind a creation of the capitalist racist sexist system which imprisons people to be offended and I suspect they created offence in the first place. Everything is offensive to me, as I am perpetually in a state of offence and it is my right to be offended at the concept of being offended and offence in an offensive manner.”

 

Theresa May Opts to Stay on Sinking S.S.BRINO Ship

0

Thar she goes..the leaky ship BRINO is sinking fast, with resignations galore, some have jumped into the lifeboats, Northern Island minister, 2 x Brexit ministers, BoJo, Esther McVey plus all the rest.

Mrs May is sticking to her guns though on her ship called BRINO. As each gloating EU iceberg slams into the side, she stays stalwart and says everything is okay.

 

“There is nothing to see here. There is no danger. The ship BRINO may be taking on gallons of freezing water through the torn hull, the violins are still playing, and I am still dancing on the deck, even though we are now lopping port side at 35 degrees.”

As for the crew of the ship that are still onboard BRINO, they are vehemently promised by Captain May that there is nothing to fear, and that everything is fine.

“Mrs May told us that it’s ok and even though I am now hanging from a flagpole and the ship is making these rather unsavoury gurgling noises as the water is pushing through, I am committed to believing Captain May that there is nothing to worry about..Aaaaargh! (falls 200 feet to their death)”

This time however, there will be no Celine Dion soundtrack.

Perpetual 48 Hrs For Stage Managed BRINO Deal Never Coming Soon

0

Today we have another announcement that the Brexit deal will be completed in the next 48 hrs, much like the previous 48 hrs, and the 48 hrs before that.

David Lidington, the Cabinet Office minister, must be so bored of having to announce a deal being made every 48 hrs for the last few months.

“I get the call from Olly Robbins, to make another 48 hrs announcement, then after another 48 hrs passes, I get another call to do the same thing. Frankly, I’m getting rather bored of it. This BRINO stage managed fiasco really is smarting. I have better things to do.”

Of course, we all know the plan is one of stalling things for as long as possible, in order to push the “Brexit In Name Only” Chequers deal through parliament as a matter of urgency towards the end of some deadline made by Brussels. Hopefully the good ol’ boys and gals will be there to vote the fucker down as soon as it finally rears its ugly head.

Coincidentally 48 hrs was a great movie from 1982 starring Nick Nolte, and a young Eddie Murphy.

The bit that really sticks in the memory is the moment Eddie is in his jail cell singing Roxanne by the Police. This was truly a wonderful cinematic and comedic scene.

Nolte plays a hard edged cop who enlists Murphy, a convict, to find a killer in less than 48 hours, or it’s jail time for Reggie.

At the time, it was a typical cliche black and white buddy movie, with the usual love and hate politics.

Great film. Watch it if you ever missed it or were not born then.

A Clean No Deal Brexit Will Be the Day When Britain Gets Its Guts Back

0

Are these not the same Brexit shores that bred men to storm the beaches of Normandy, to fight against hordes of Vikings, to win against all odds against Napoleon, to conquer half of the world with one of the greatest empires ever known?

No Deal Better Than Bad Deal

You would certainly not think it from the Theresa May crew, who shrivel and kowtow to every Brussels belch. Who have constrained Britain and left it a whimpering bitch on the end of a leash.

What did those men and women die for in two world wars? It certainly was not to be a subservient nation unable to make its own laws, unable to make its own trade deals, and unable to GET SOME FUCKING BOLLOCKS!

We voted on June 23, 2016 in a democratic referendum to leave the Customs Union, leave the ECJ, leave the single market, and ultimately leave the EU — COMPLETELY! No half measures, no half foot in half out, none of that.

The EU referendum result was promised that it would be solidly binding and respected by parliament, and not meddled with. This promise was of course made because the Remain side was projected to win. When the result was Leave, this was obviously a different story and democracy flew out of the window.

It seems there is no belief any more in Britain, a land that has much illustrious historic value, and has been the bastion of adversity for thousands of years. We’re not fucking surrender monkeys that roll over like the others, those wet farts who initially disagreed to an EU referendum question, but were ordered by their EU masters to have another one until they got the answer Brussels wanted. (France, Ireland, Netherlands)

Clean No Deal Brexit

Britain’s future will be one of great riches and sovereign greatness, if it leaves without a deal. Its people and parliamentarians can hold their heads up high, and they can forge their own trade deals, they can fish in their own waters, they can make their own laws once again.

We must embrace freedom. Yes, it is going to be tough, but better to live one day as a lion than 100 as a sheep.

We must move forward, clean no deal Brexit. Let the EU twaddle on that one, let them eat their own rotten cake, for it is they who have reneged, back stabbed, and wriggled like worms in the so-called ‘negotiations’.

It is time to stand up. Now!

“Where do we stand? We are not members of the European Defence Community, nor do we intend to be merged in a Federal European system. We feel we have a special relation to both. This can be expressed by prepositions, by the preposition “with” but not “of”—we are with them, but not of them.” Sir Winston Churchill https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1953/may/11/foreign-affairs

KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH