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EU Army: Teen French Recruits Suffer Under New Compulsory Service

Sir Winston Soames
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EU Army: Teen French Recruits Suffer Under New Compulsory Service

All remainers should be ashamed of themselves for disregarding the facts about the European Union because it will be them and their children forced into military service for the fledgling EU Army.

It will be your children, remainers, forced into the slaughter holes on the Eastern front against Russia in the sub arctic conditions as the bullets and bombs rip their bodies to shreds. No doubt the children of the unelected officials at the EU will be exempt from compulsory military service in the EU Army.

The Daily Squib warned about an EU Army in 2012 but as usual we were wholly ignored.

Mr Macron’s new “Universal National Service” will soon become compulsory for all 16-year-olds and the plan is already being assimilated to Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Brussels, Netherlands, Spain, Romania, Bulgaria, Ireland, and all other EU countries.

 

Most remainers do not even know why they are supporting the EU, they just follow their socialist friends blindly without question, and are low-information lemming voters only concerned about their holidays in the EU being slightly disrupted, or mobile phone roaming charges. The other contingent of remoaners are staunch communists who are begging to be ruled by a totalitarian soviet state run by unelected officials. There is no thought to the implications of being called up and forced into an EU Army.

“The EU Army will be a conscripted force from the age of 16. All EU countries will be invited to join the compulsory EU Army conscription scheme with a planned roll out within two years. Once called up, there is no way of getting out of the conscription unless those selected are disabled,” EU Army adjutant, Kommandant Franz Heimler, revealed on Friday.

Remainers in the UK want to condemn Britain’s population to be forced into conscription into an EU Army ruled by crazed megalomaniacs intent on sending our kids into war as cannon fodder for their totalitarian EU super soviet state. Shame on you treacherous remainers…shame on you.

Shaken But Not Stirred – Angela Merkel Inspires New Cocktail

Sir Winston Soames
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Shaken But Not Stirred – Angela Merkel Inspires New Cocktail

German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, who looked visibly shaken at a recent meeting with Ukrainian president, Volodymyr Zelenskiy in Berlin, apparently was rather parched, and was thankfully cured of her shakes later by downing a few cocktails.

German businessman, Gerhardt Mueller, who owns a string of cocktail bars in Berlin’s redmerkel cocktail light district, kurfürstenstraße, was inspired by Chancellor Merkel’s brief dance, and has created his own cocktail to commemorate the moment.

“Himmel! I was shaking a cocktail at the time when I looked upon the TV and saw Merkie doing her shake dance. I immediately banged my head on the bar counter, and a big light bulb jumped into my head. Knall! This new cocktail has been selling faster than Jean Claude Juncker can drink a jug of cognac, and that’s saying something.”

So, what’s this new Merkel inspired cocktail called and how is it made?

Mr. Mueller says the cocktail is called “Der Merkel Sexwalzer”, loosely translated as “The Merkel Sex Waltz”.

The ingredients for the cocktail have been patented for exclusive use only in his bars, but Mr. Mueller did reveal the main ingredients are vinegar, 20 tablespoons of salt, 15 spoonfuls of chilli powder, sauerkraut juice, beef broth, and a smidgeon of Brussels Sprouts Schnapps amongst other secret ingredients.

The amazing effect the cocktail has on anyone who drinks it is one that astounds many in the bar.

“Firsten it startenzie with ein small burpen. Then the victim goes purple, changen colour to green, before the shaking von begins. They shout ‘Achtung!’ Usually ein zie the victim will shaken for two hours non stoppen. After ein two hours they will droppen zie on the floor and go to long sleep! Jah!” one bar reveller revealed.

Trump: “This is Not War” Will Move 120,000 Troops to Persian Gulf

Sir Winston Soames
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Trump: “This is Not War” Will Move 120,000 Troops to Persian Gulf

The Iran operation will take a lot more than 120,000 troops, but this is a small offering to the Gods of War who are now beating their drums with a little more gusto. Along with U.S. troops being deployed in the region, mainly in Iraq, which borders Iran, there has already been deployment of an aircraft carrier, supporting battleships, and multiple anti-aircraft missile defence systems.

Trump is going easy for now, however the shooting down of a US RQ-4 Global Hawk drone today by the Iranians is further impetus to up the tempo regarding military build-up. The drones cost $222.7 million each.

The operation this time is wholly different to the 2003 Gulf invasion of Iraq by the U.S. because the Persians can do some serious damage as has already been demonstrated by nearly sinking multiple oil tankers going through the Strait of Hormuz, and the downing of the U.S. drone.

The Iranians are now very close to going through the limit of stockpiled low-enriched uranium the 2015 nuclear deal allows it to have, increasing fears that Iran may inch closer to obtaining a nuclear weapon via Iran’s uranium mine at Gchine, utilising its extensive research projects in plutonium and uranium metal, and the use of Polonium 210. Iran is not shy in admitting who their first nuclear target will be — Israel. Scientists estimate that Iran is less than 5 months away from completing their atomic bomb project, which will be deployed either in dirty form, or from one of their numerous ballistic missile projects.

While all this is going on, there seems to be only silence from the UN Security Council. Has John Bolton shut them up with his loud barking?

Furthermore, there is silence from the anti-war activists, a far cry from the 2003 days when George W Bush and Tony Blair walked into Iraq with millions lining the streets in protest. This is possibly due to the hushed manner of news reports which underplay any threat of war with Iran by the media. All of this while Russia and China sit back and watch intently.

The downing of the drone flying at approximately 60,000 ft (18.29 kilometres) brings to light the increase of Iranian technical abilities, not only to recognise the craft was unmanned but to accurately shoot it down from that height. Whether it was flying over Iranian air space within the 12 km buffer zone or International airspace, will no doubt be contested by both sides. If outside, then the Americans will have more impetus to move further with their plans, but if not, then the Iranians will claim justification for the downing of the reconnaissance craft.

Oil is up 6%.

The Life-changing Benefits of Dental Implants

Sir Winston Soames
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The Life-changing Benefits of Dental Implants

Dental implants are one of the most exciting innovations in the world of modern dentistry. If you have missing teeth, it’s well worth finding out more about implants and the incredible benefits they offer.

Introducing dental implants

Dental implants are prosthetic appliances, which are used to take on the role of the tooth root when a natural tooth has been lost through injury, trauma or dental disease. In most cases, dental implants are made from titanium, which is a biocompatible material. Implants are placed inside small openings in the jaw bone, and they are able to integrate into the bone tissue. Implants look similar to small screws, and once they are in place, they can be attached to different types of restoration to create a healthy-looking, functional smile.

Dental implants may be recommended for patients of all ages who have varying numbers of lost teeth, as they are compatible with crowns, dental bridges and dentures.

The benefits of dental implants

Dental implants are widely regarded as the best long-term solution for tooth loss, and there are several reasons why. Here are some of the most significant advantages of choosing implants:

Long-term results

Dental implants are designed to last for several years, and they offer a long-term alternative to dentures and dental bridges. High-quality implants can last a lifetime.

Aesthetic advantages

Many of us take pride in our appearance, and for most, there’s nothing more attractive than a beautiful smile. Losing teeth can be incredibly distressing, and it can take its toll on your confidence. If you’re used to hiding away when friends take photos, or you’re anxious about meeting new people, smiling in public, dating or going to interviews, implants can have a life-changing impact. With implants, dentists can create stunning, natural-looking smiles that are bound to fill the patient with confidence. The aesthetics achieved by dental implants are superior to other options like dentures.

apple-bite-diet-eat

Functionality

Your teeth play a role in enhancing the appearance of your smile, but they also have a range of important functions. You use your teeth to break down food and aid digestion, they are involved in the production of words and sounds, and they also provide support for your lips and cheeks. Implants offer the same level of functionality as healthy, strong natural teeth. If you have missing teeth, you should find that undergoing implant treatment enables you to eat whatever you like and enjoy clearer speech. You may also find that you look and feel younger.

Bone loss

Bone loss is an issue that tends to affect older people, and the loss of bone density can be accelerated by losing natural teeth. Implants help to reduce the risk of bone loss in the jaws by stimulating the gums.

If you have missing teeth, dental implants could literally change your life. Implants are designed to look and function like natural teeth, and they offer a wealth of benefits for patients of all ages who have lost a single tooth or multiple or full arches of teeth. With implants, you can smile with confidence, enjoy a varied diet and maintain good oral health for years to come.

Commiserations For Poor Prince Harry After Meghan Reveals She is Charging By the Hour

Sir Winston Soames
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Commiserations For Poor Prince Harry After Meghan Reveals She is Charging By the Hour

Condolences today flooded into Frogmore Cottage with commiserations addressed to Prince Harry after it had been revealed that Meghan Markle is totting up the cost of the royal marriage and charging by the hour before her planned exit.

The Duchess of Sussex, a low-born import into the royal family, has been ‘cruelly’ dubbed the ‘degree princess’ by a senior royal, and staff members in the royal circle call her ‘Megain’ as well as ‘the Demanding Duchess’. Nevertheless, even though Prince Harry was duly warned before marrying the seasoned twice divorced actress, who has already birthed other children, hopefully one day Harry may realise how he has been duped, however this may take some time because of his low IQ.

It is not known how much the Degree Duchess is charging by the hour but sources say that she can’t wait till graduation day when she can cash in.

“It’s absolutely intolerable for her, but she may stick it out for another child, this way Harry will be truly locked in. It is then that she can make even more unreasonable demands. She will probably start demanding to take the kids and Harry to North America permanently. Her plan is working very well and her false smiles fool many people, it seems including the ailing prince, who unfortunately is brainless,” Jacosta Mannering, a former friend of Harry’s revealed.

Psychologist Nancy Felton, reveals further analytical details: “Meghan is a narcissist with calculating prowess. This acting job has been the hardest role she has ever played, but for her hard work, it will pay off. Like most narcissists, the only person she cares about is herself, and she is playing Harry like a deck of cards. Unfortunately, Prince Harry cannot see it, but everyone else can.

“Her intricate plan will involve removing Harry from the royal family, his friends, and all that he loves in Britain. Once she has done that, she will slowly whittle Harry down and once she gets bored, move on.”

Some Oxford university mathematics undergraduates were asked: “How much is Meghan Markle charging by the hour?” The mathematicians came out with hourly rates ranging from £4,000 per hour to one even going as far as to claim £35,000 per hour.

The future does not bode well for the British taxpayer it seems.

Former Labour Party Member, Rory Stewart is Implant into Tory Party

Sir Winston Soames
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Former Labour Party Member, Rory Stewart is Implant into Tory Party

Watching the biased Channel 4 debate where the only candidate who endorses a Clean Brexit, Dominic Raab, was given less time than any other candidate to answer questions, and was basically sidelined from the whole show, it is clear to see that powerful forces are at hand once again.

The ugly pustule toad that is Rory Stewart, was of course given full coverage, and his remainer stance had the audience clapping like lemmings at his every utterance as it came out of his leering opium addled face.

It’s thus not surprising that Stewart is not in fact a Tory at heart and was a prominent member of the Labour party before joining the Conservatives. His heart therefore lies in extreme socialist mantras and doctrines, possibly veering towards full Marxism. Maybe the attendees at the 2011 Bilderberg meeting which he attended with other fellow remainer, George Osborne could reveal his true ideological makeup.

It is true to say there are many implants into other parties, and Stewart probably updates Corbyn and his adjutants on a weekly basis as to the goings-on in the depths of the Tory hierarchy. Through his so-called Tory policies and words, Stewart has shown himself to be a hardcore authoritarian leftist at all times.

Stewart has rather ridiculously claimed that he wants to join the Tories with the Brexit party who are devoutly devoted to a ‘Clean Brexit’ on WTO terms, what he calls negatively a ‘no deal’. How is that going to work?

The only thing Stewart will do if he ever gets into power will be an extension of Theresa May’s policy of delay tactics along with false assurances that in the end turned out to be complete lies. There would never be a Brexit under Stewart, and as a Labour implant, the Tories should kick him out before he commits more damage to the party. It is no secret that along with the Labour party, Rory Stewart takes his orders from Brussels.

Another staunch remainer, Theresa May declared her support for Stewart last week, so the augurs do not bode well for BoJo, because he is definitely not over the line yet, as dark remainer forces intent on keeping Britain imprisoned in the EU could still topple his lead even in the last few stages.

Solskjaer Remains Upbeat As United’s Miserable Summer Continues

Sir Winston Soames
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0
Solskjaer Remains Upbeat As United’s Miserable Summer Continues

Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was today defiant in the face of continuing discontent among fans regarding the club’s (lack of) summer transfer activity.

Despite his confirmation that he wanted to get his summer transfer business done ‘early’ as last season drew to a miserable, torturous close, the sum total of the Old Trafford club’s wheeling and dealing thus far has been to recruit one Welsh winger nobody has ever heard of. Daniel James will inevitably spend the next twelve months drawing unfavourable comparisons to Ryan Giggs before being shipped off on loan to Middlesbrough.

On social media, fans have been quick to defend their manager, choosing instead to blame those who sit above him in the United hierarchy for the ongoing problems. United’s executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward has come in for particularly strong criticism, as have time-honoured hate targets the Glazer family, who ultimately own the club.

“We’ve been consistent in our opposition to the Glazer family since they first bought the club back in 2005,” confirmed fans spokesman Ian Marmalade. “They’ve had more than a billion quid out of the club since they first landed, and we definitely wouldn’t have fallen so far behind Man City, Liverpool, Tottenham, Arsenal, and sometimes Everton if it wasn’t for that. That’s why all fans have been totally committed to wearing green and gold for the past thirteen years, except the seasons when we’ve actually done alright. Now that we’re off the pace again it’s really reinforced the message that it’s actually all the Glazers’ fault, and our protest activities will continue until we’ve at least won the Carabao Cup or something.”

stadium-manchester united

Spurred on by the passion of Marmalade, our reporters went looking for Solskjaer to see if he could offer any clarity or hope to the club’s long-suffering fans, who have now gone two years without a major trophy. Our calls to the club and to his private telephone number initially went unanswered, but we eventually located him turning his pockets out inside a Manchester casino, having had to present age verification documents to get in despite being 46 years old.

Sweating, and seemingly mildly distracted as he fumbled at the machines, Solskjaer had the following to say.

“Look, I know everyone was expecting us to sign De Ligt, or Dybala, or Bale. Or maybe even Ronaldo, like we’re rumoured to be doing every season and still will be when he’s forty. But that’s just not the way of the club any more. I’ve had really good news on Aaron Wan-Bissaka. He’s so keen to get to Manchester to sign for us that he deliberately played like someone who’d never seen a football before at the Euros, just so England could get eliminated early and he could get back home to talk about his contract. If that isn’t commitment to the cause, I don’t know what is. I know he might not have the profile that fans were hoping for, but any of you who play Football Manager regularly will know that he turns out to be an absolute world beater if you give him five years or so. I’m pretty confident I won’t mess that up. Plus I won’t be here in five years anyway, so why should I worry?”

Solskjaer’s attention then returned to the mobile casino game he was playing, which prompted us to ask him why he was in the casino in the first place. That only seemed to annoy him.

“As I’ve always said, I have full control over the club’s summer transfer budget, and it’s a big one. As we can’t seem to find any players to spend on it, I’ve brought it down here to the casino see how I get on at the tables. That didn’t go so well, so now I’m trying to win it back. I’ve found a UK mobile slots game called Striker Goes Wild, and as I used to be one, I figured this would be a good way to make a return. Oddly, it all seemed to start really well, and I was pulling off a few jackpots by the skin of my teeth. Now I can’t seem to win anything at all. It’s almost as if luck isn’t enough at a casino, and you also need a bit of skill to get you over the line. I feel like that should be a metaphor for something, although I can’t put my finger on it. Anyway, I just need to get on a lucky streak. The first tenner I make back is the first step towards one hundred million. Any chance you could lend us one?”

gargoyle

Feeling that lending the seemingly luckless Manchester United manager money was a bad idea, our reporter respectfully withdrew from the conversation and walked away, leaving Solskjaer turning out his pockets and then offering to autograph people’s napkins for five pounds a time.

With seemingly no big name saviour on the horizon, the task of Solskjaer and his club next season looks an ominous one. Paul Pogba has already made subtle suggestions that he would rather stick a fork into both his eyes and run into a wall than play for United again, and Alexis Sanchez is seemingly fated never to recover from the voodoo hex that was placed upon him by Arsene Wenger as he said his final goodbyes at Arsenal. Short of a major recruit to bolster a back line which will once again inexplicably contain both Phil Jones and Chris Smalling for another year, United’s best hope of cracking the top four next season now seems to rest on the fact that Chelsea have been banned from buying anybody new for the next year, and are about to appoint an inexperienced manager who recently failed to get Derby County promoted to the Premier League.

For the sake of completeness, we attempted to get a quote from Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola for our article. Showing a remarkable grasp of English slang which often eluded him during interviews last season, Guardiola would only say that he found the situation at Old Trafford to be “totes lolz.”

Top-Notch Online Ventures for Modern Mums

Sir Winston Soames
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0
Top-Notch Online Ventures for Modern Mums

It seems as if a new business concept is being introduced within the marketplace on a daily basis. Many of these ideas appeal to stay-at-home mums due to the fact that they require little more than an Internet connection and the will to succeed. If this is the case, why are so few suggestions actually successful from a long-term point of view. If you are looking for ways to earn an extra source of income without sacrificing your role as a parent, such a question is very pertinent. Let’s take a look at some of the most common small business “promises”.

The “Too Good to be True” Fallacy

Before delving into a handful of online business ideas which could very well offer up the financial freedom that you deserve, to avoid at all costs being deceived.

If something appears too good to be true, it is usually. We have all grown up listening to this maxim and yet, we can still be lured by the temptation of a “sure-fire” business plan or a one-size-fits-all way to earn an income from home. The fact of the matter is that these are nothing more than myths and shrewd marketing ploys designed to encourage you to spend money when purchasing advice from a so-called guru.

If we think about it for a moment, such an observation actually makes a great deal of sense. Surely someone would have found the digital pot at the end of the rainbow if it was ever present to begin with. On the contrary, businesses models come and go. Many change with the times and in accordance with the needs of their customer base. What could have been perfectly suitable a few years ago may represent nothing more than an outdated approach today.

This is why it is critical to avoid being sucked in by those so-called online “experts” who claim to know the secret to eternal wealth (after a rather large payment, of course). These digital snake charmers and charlatans are selling nothing more than a concept; a bundle of maxims which have been spouted out in one form or another for decades. In fact, the chances are high that you could find the very same information for free if you know where to look. This brings us to the next section. Are there any business concepts which are more suited for stay-at-home mums than others? What approaches should you keep in mind so that you can align your efforts toward success?

mum home business

Coming Back Down to Earth

Let’s abandon the smoke and mirrors for a moment and enjoy a small dose of reality. You will not become a millionaire overnight. There is no mythical algorithm which will provide you with a sustainable source of income if allowed to run autonomously. You must first be able to make a conscious commitment to the notion that hard work and dedication are both required if you ever hope to experience success within the online business community. Much like in the real world, financial freedom comes as a direct result of determination and focus.

Still, some ventures have been historically shown to produce more reliable results than others. This is when a bit of insight and acumen is important. For example, let’s imagine that you have come up with a novel idea for an innovative type of baby feeding bottle. While this could very well change the landscape of motherhood in the future, creating and distributing such a product is much more difficult than it may initially appear. Some logistical concerns which could be challenging to overcome include inventory management, product development, client engagement, shipping, and marketing. As a mum, you do not likely have the time to deal with these and other concerns.

This is why it could instead be a great idea to market a product that already exists or is very easy to produce. Mobile phone cases, t-shirts and digital meditation recordings are a few interesting ideas to explore. Of course, mums with more technical experience might very well be able to take on a venture such as creating a standalone smartphone application. The main takeaway point is that you should always attempt to leverage your existing talents as opposed to thinking too far outside of the proverbial box.

You will also be pleased to know that a wealth of e-commerce packages are now available for individuals much like yourself. These are capable of providing you with the necessary digital tools in order to capitalise upon your sense of momentum. However, the bottom line is that you need to be prepared for the “long haul” and you should always appreciate that online business success represents a learning curve. If you possess the time and the patience, the chances are high that a sustainable source of stay-at-home wealth may soon become a reality.

Strait of Hormuz: War With Iran Will Ensure Trump 2020 Win

Sir Winston Soames
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0
Strait of Hormuz: War With Iran Will Ensure Trump 2020 Win

Limpet mines, torpedoes in the Strait of Hormuz, sounds like a Bourne or Bond film plot, but the evidence suggests Iran through the use of proxies and Iranian Republican Guard is sending a message that if they cannot export their oil through U.S. sanctions, then no one else should.

The Strait of Hormuz is where a third of the world’s oil and gas is transported, and blocking the strait off will create economic turmoil worldwide overnight. The price of crude has risen sharply at the news of the recent attacks.

The prophesy of 2011 may come true, as Iran is the prize that America has been dreaming of for many years, along with Israel and Saudi Arabia who are itching for a reason to attack the Iranian regime.

Along with the hawks of Washington headed by the head of National Security, John R Bolton, circumstances can change at the drop of a hat.

anti american mural in tehran iran with veiled women
Anti American mural in Tehran Iran with veiled women

When the U.S. administration say they do not want a conflict with Iran, there is little truth in this as they have been planning a series of strikes for years.

The bombing of oil tankers in the Strait of Hormuz is a gift for the U.S. and Iran can deny it all they want but who else would commit these obvious actions?

An incumbent war president is hard to rumble in any election, and Trump knows this full well. Voters will be united against a common enemy — Iran, and it is very rare for administrations to change during an ongoing conflict.

Iran is the key, a land never defeated in modern times, the initial strikes will most certainly take out all communications and electronics, before targeted air strikes destroy as many crucial military targets. The country has already been weakened by sanctions even with China, and Russia enforced by America. There will have to be soldiers on the ground to completely conquer Iran, and this could take a while to achieve.

Former US Embassy in Tehran
Tehran, Iran – Famous painted wall of former embassy of United States in Tehran

The only negative in taking Iran out is the imminent threat looming of China and Russia joining in the fight. Analysts would probably err on the side of caution from these two countries joining a conflict that could escalate into global war. Iran is a red line in global hegemony for the United States, and once this line is crossed, control in the Middle East will be ceded by China and Russia leaving them on the back foot.

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth will be whispered to Trump, and if he wants to unite America, this is one gift he cannot overlook, but if he does, he may certainly lose in the 2020 elections. The purging of his supporters on the internet has left only one voice on the field — the Democrat echo chamber.

Iran is an energy superpower and the Petroleum industry in Iran plays an important part in it. In 2004 Iran produced 5.1 percent of the world’s total crude oil (3.9 million barrels (620,000 m3) per day), which generated revenues of US$25 billion to US$30 billion and was the country’s primary source of foreign currency.

Proroguing an Anti-Democratic Parliament Intent on Thwarting Brexit is Perfectly Democratic

Sir Winston Soames
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0
Proroguing an Anti-Democratic Parliament Intent on Thwarting Brexit is Perfectly Democratic

To see the snivelling snarling loser hobgoblin Rory Stewart today threatening Boris Johnson is a sign that extremist remainers who are being bankrolled by Brussels are starting to get rumbled.

The underhand parliamentary tricks employed by remainers are unravelling, however to bypass a predominantly anti-democratic parliament may be the only way to leave the EU with a managed Clean Brexit.

The highly irregular activities of House Speaker, John Bercow, who is blatantly seeking to revoke Article 50, as well as the Tory rebels who side with Labour’s remain activism are a direct threat to democracy because people like Dominic Grieve and their ilk are against the democratically decided will of the people to leave the EU.

The first round of the Conservative leadership contest has seen the exit of the women who thought they could become the next PM. After the disaster of Theresa May’s premiership it is no surprise that a woman for the job was not on the menu. The next PM will have to actually have a big set of swinging balls to exercise a Brexit, especially with the treacherous remainers hanging from the rafters waiting to sabotage democracy at every point.

Is Proroguing a Parliament Intent on Stopping the Democratically Voted Result to Brexit Democratic?

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The root of parliament’s problem are the left-wing remainer contingent who surprisingly inhabit the Conservative party, people like Letwin, Clarke, Grieve and Stewart should be thrown out of the party and their constituencies. These shameful excuses for MPs are pathetic whining merchants of treachery who in the past would have been tried for treason.

The crux of the whole imbroglio is that despite parliament voting for Article 50 and promising to value the vote to leave in the EU Referendum there are elements that have gone back on their word and are trying to stop Brexit from happening.

In this climate, proroguing parliament is a perfectly acceptable solution to achieving democracy, because there is such an anti-democratic group of saboteurs in parliament today.

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