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Giggling Penalty Losers Laugh at Racist England Fans on Private Jet

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Life has a funny way of kicking in you in the nads even after you’ve had a decent kicking anyway. Yep, you can always go lower than you already are, and the sight of the two penalty losers laughing and joking on a private jet decked out with champagne and gourmet food, will certainly chafe some people up the wrong way.

“It’s sickening to see these two losers funning it up on a private jet celebrating losing the penalties for England. Not only are they fucking losers, but they are using up carbon emissions, polluting the planet to celebrate losing penalties. Imagine how many school meals that private jet flight cost could have paid for?” one angry Twitter user revealed.

Another apoplectic fan was inconsolable: “Look at them grinning like Cheshire cats that got the cream. Lucky for them, they weren’t Colombian players, or they would have received the necessary justice.”

On the flight, the two openly boasted about the amount of “white pussy” they were about to take care of once they landed.

Tucking into a four-course gourmet meal and champagne, there was no sign of even an ounce of remorse from the pair.

“You know, Black Lives Matter, who is to say those penalties were not missed on purpose? England can go to hell, racist bastards! Payback comes in many forms, suckers!” one guy on the plane uttered.

Cleaned up at the bookies?

England Fan Filmed Snorting Cocaine Then Sticking a Flare Up His Arse Honoured at Madame Tussauds

An England fan videoed sticking a flare up his own arsehole and snorting cocaine before entering Wembley without a ticket last night proudly boasted ‘I’m not sorry, and I’d do it again tomorrow’.

Tradesman’s entrance

The England super fan will be honoured with a permanent exhibition at Madame Tussauds wax work museum to commemorate the courage and good behaviour of England fans during the Euro 2020 football tournament.

Jack Tokes, 22, a roofer from Essex, is said to have claimed he drank 43 cans of cheap cider and ‘banged a load of powder’ – slang for snorting cocaine – during a 15-hour bender on Sunday, when England took on Italy in the Euro 2020 final.

Director of the London-based wax work museum was so enamoured by videos posted all over the internet of Mr Tokes shoving a red live flare up his anus in public that he immediately brought the England fan into the museum’s studios to re-create the momentous moment.

“Visitors at Tussauds will see an exact wax representation of Jack Tokes sticking a flare up his arse whilst standing upright on his arms in a hand-stand position when they walk right through the doors of our London museum. We have even gone to the effort of making the red flare smoke gently, a red smoke, with audible sounds of other England fans whooping with excitement piped through speakers around the fantastic exhibit,” the director of Madame Tussauds, Mr. Conard Rumple, told the Evening Standard.

London Mayor Sadiq Khan was also wonderfully touched by the England fan’s enthusiasm, and is now putting through an order for the fan’s statue to be put on a plinth in Trafalgar Square.

The Italians have the Uffizi, La Scala, Michelangelo, Da Vinci, but that is all now solidly beaten by the wonderful depiction of an England football fan with a red flare lodged firmly up his anus.

Opening Up Britain Could Reduce Long Term Government Social Care Costs

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The British government spends trillions of pounds on social care costs per annum, and as Covid infections and deaths are doubling every 9 days, with an exponential increase trajectory, ‘Freedom Day’ will be the catalyst for more increases in infections/hospitalisations and deaths.

The Euro 2020 tournament was a great example of mass infectious spread of the multiple Covid variants. Not one person was seen wearing a mask during the celebrations and riots in the streets, the pubs or the stadiums.

Freedom Day, will mean a further opening up of the country, a much-needed sigh of relief for many who just don’t fucking care any more. People are so fatigued by all the rules, they do not care if they get infected, or they infect others.

In Holland, they declared Freedom Day three weeks ago, and since then the R number has shot up above 6. Last week, the Netherlands reported more than 10,000 new cases – an 800 per cent increase compared to the previous week.

After a huge surge in hospitalisations and deaths, Dutch caretaker prime minister, Mark Rutte, was forced to apologise to his country. “An error of judgment was made, we are sorry about that,” he told reporters in The Hague.

Naturally, it’s back to the survival of the fittest again, and vulnerable people will be whittled down when the virus eventually gets to them. People with disabilities, and other health problems who are viewed as a burden on society not only in cost but resources, will sadly perish, even if they have had their vaccines, because the Delta variant bypasses the vaccine.

This is good news in the long term for government number crunchers though because it will mean the social care costs will diminish, vastly reducing the burden on the Treasury and of course the taxpayer.

“It’s a win-win situation for the heavy burden of the social care cost. The vulnerable, those with co-existing medical conditions, disabilities and the elderly who are a huge burden on society, not only economically but with our limited resources, will be gently wiped off the face of the earth. We can only hope for the purge to also affect the prison populations. It costs on average £45,000 per prisoner per annum, and for people with disabilities, it costs the government over £150,000 per annum to look after each individual. These costs all add up to a massive, burdensome cost for UK PLC. Imagine those funds being redirected to better use,” one Whitehall accountant revealed.

As the nightclubs, pubs and other crowded indoor spaces open, hospitalisations could range between 1,300 to 4,800 a day, and deaths could increase to over 1000 per day.

That’s definitely more good news for the number crunchers and economists who look at the long picture, because in the long term, those deaths will mean less financial and administrative burden falls on the government and society in the future.

Are You Looking Forward to a Woke Dystopian Future Dictatorship?

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The future looks so great, you have to wear shades, shades so dark that you can’t see anything out of them. This is why the Woke dictatorship of the future will make anything Orwell dreamed up look like a picnic party on the dales.

The future will be Woke because no one is even trying to stop the creeps creeping into every facet of human life and culture. No government is standing up to Big Tech, or the conglomerate companies adopting Woke attitudes of cultural Marxism upon the population.

What will the future Woke Dictatorship look like?

Much of history will either be erased, or rewritten to suit Woke Marxist ideology. Libraries will not exist with real books because anything printed is not digital and cannot be changed by Woke censors, therefore they will be deemed subversive and summarily destroyed — incinerated.

Linguistically, all language will be poorer as Woke censors whittle down entire dictionaries of words labelled as counter-productive to Woke Marxist ideology. Picture Orwell’s Ministry of Truth, but a thousand times worse.

Anyone caught reading a book will be arrested and detained as a terrorist of the state.

Children in households will only be taught Eco/trans/lgbtqp/anti-male feminist/race Woke ideology from 6 months on, and will be rewarded by the state if they report anyone, including their own parents or siblings, for flouting any form of Woke puritanical law.

wokis woke dictatorship gulag

The term ‘Hate Speech’ will be used daily to arrest and incarcerate anyone that the state pleases to arrest, and definitions for ‘Hate Speech’ will change weekly, so for one week, one term may be legal to use, but the next, if anyone uses that word or term, they will be arrested, never to be seen again.

Fact-checkers appointed by the Woke state will have an all encompassing power to have any form of information altered and changed, or have it labelled as subversive ‘fake news’ even if it is thoroughly factual and true. The truth will thus be something that is completely controlled by the state, irrespective of its factual value.

Woke society will be one of citizen ratings, where citizens will be judged by their actions or Thoughtcrimes, and either punished or rewarded commensurate to their life choices. Anyone with a negative rating of any sort will be denied a multitude of things, they will not be able to shop at certain stores, be denied education, insurance, medical help and travel.

Woke citizen shaming will also be a major form of entertainment for the ‘good woke citizens’ much-like the Medieval stocks, public shaming will ensure eventual compliance and prove as a lesson to observing woke citizens of what can go wrong if you show any form of individual thought or err from the path of Wokism in any way.

Individual thought and any opposing view of Wokism will be dealt with extreme prejudice and may involve the violator being interred into a Woke Gulag for Re-education, or if their crime is so expansive, they will be made to disappear completely.

Branson Travels to Mesosphere NOT Space

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Travelling to the edge of space (50 miles altitude) is not technically space, but the very boundary of space, and there are many craft that have been able to do that for decades.

The stratosphere (20-60km) comes before the mesosphere (60-80km) and from there is the thermosphere (80-600) and once that threshold is overcome there is the exosphere (600-10,000km).

For a mere € 17500 for a 50 min flight, you can fly to the stratosphere in a Mig 29 and garner pretty much the same experience as a Branson Virgin Galactic flight for a fraction of the $250,000 cost.

Of course, kids on YouTube have been sending stuff into the edge of space for years, including items like garlic bread, pizza and even a McDonald’s burger.

You can also do the Felix Baumgartner or Alan Eustace space dive route, but that’s way out of most budgets and fucking dangerous.

As for Bezos, and the battle of the billionaires, he plans to actually use a penis-shaped rocket to go one step above Branson and access the thermosphere about 65 miles above sea level, and past the Karman line. Tickets on his rocket of doom will cost you a lousy $28 million per seat, which is invariably out of reach for most Amazon warehouse workers or bottle pissing Amazon delivery drivers. For 28 million bucks you will get four minutes of weightlessness, and a damn good view, as well as knowing for posterity’s sake that you actually travelled into space and not the boundary as Branson has done.

Black Lives Matter Wins Euro 2020

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Taking the knee never meant so much for the England team as a seriously lacklustre game came down to penalties. It was, in the end, quite apt that the three missed penalties were taken by Rashford, Sancho and Saka, who will have the unsavoury memory of their silly misses tainting the rest of their careers.

The longer you take the knee, sooner or later your subservience takes over and once that happens, forget about scoring goals again, or winning tournaments.

There were no knees taken by the Italian team, and there was no virtue signalling. These Italians just played football, persevered, even with an early England goal.

Football’s coming home for sure — in a fucking coffin.

The only real winner on the night was Black Lives Matter.

 

Amsterdam Based International Agency Goes All-in On ‘Creative Activism’

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Cloudfactory repositions itself as a provocation to reset the industry

Award-winning Spanish team Julio & César has joined Cloudfactory, to lead the creative agency – together with Managing Director, Sandeep Chawla – into the next era of advertising. The creative activists, as they call themselves, have the ambition to liberate creativity in our data-driven world. With more respect, simplicity and trust.

The three of them share the firm belief that creativity is the answer to any and every future challenge brands will face. Creativity is and will continue to be the key differentiator in our industry to add value to brands and businesses.

Banking on like-mindedness

Sandeep Chawla, on landing Julio Álvarez and César García, who in recent years have been in charge of the adidas football global account (at TBWA\Neboko) and Philips global (at Ogilvy Social.Lab):

I firmly believe advertising is all about chemistry. You can assemble the most talented people in the world in a room, but you will never get to great without like-mindedness. I believe we’ve met each other at the right time in both our journeys. And I’m equally convinced they are more than ready, seasoned and experienced enough to lead an international agency creatively.

Resetting our culture

Sandeep Chawla, on how Cloudfactory is evolving with the times: “As it says in our name, we will always have our ‘heads in the clouds, feet firmly on the ground’. We will always love to think big, but together with Julio & César we’ve reset how we work and behave. Clients come to an agency for a reason. To give them what they can’t do themselves. It’s foolish to shape ourselves to mirror them; it’s a sure-fire way of losing respect in the relationship. Also, all agencies seek creative glory. That’s table stakes in our business. But once that culture and like-mindedness – between clients and us – flows, great things happen.”

Testing the chemistry

“In fact”, Sandeep adds, “now more than ever, we place Respect, Simplicity and Trust (RST) on a pedestal. One that we know will truly unchain creativity, set it free! It’s also why we urge new clients to challenge us with small try-outs, to truly test the chemistry, instead of big mutual commitments and long-drawn-out pitches. At the end of the day, we would like to be perceived as an influence in shaping and resetting the industry we all wished we work for. To make a long story short: Cloudfactory is dead. Long live Cloudfactory!”

Something more

Julio & César on why they chose the ‘evolved’ Cloudfactory, an award winning agency with work for clients like Heineken, Booking.com, KFC and Twitter, but still a bit of a ‘best kept secret’ in the international advertising and marketing industry: “Looking back at the moments when we’ve done our best work, they all followed the same pattern: a handful of (very talented) people, decision makers only, the right energy, ambition and a shared mission: freeing creativity. Cloudfactory is made of all these elements. A super talented core team, great freelance partners, an open collaboration mindset and the right chemistry. Ingredients that ensure they can deliver quality global work from a small boutique agency in the middle of Amsterdam.”

Julio goes further to say: “We also believe that timing is everything. Sandeep, César and I were looking not only for something different, but for something more. We share a vision about this industry, a love for media-agnostic ideas, and the drive to put what we preach into practice.”

Creative activism

César: “More specifically, our goal is to help brands release their creativity. These days, especially during Corona, most brands have gone a conservative path. Now, more than ever, we need to see creativity not as a source of risk, but as the best way to help brands be relevant and stand out. We believe it is time to take action and free creativity! That’s what we call creative activism.”

And to elaborate on what Sandeep says about ‘RST’, our ambition is to actually ‘reset’ the way our industry works. We need to Respect ideas and everyone involved in their making. Let’s stop selling ideas by the kilo and treat every brief – and each other – as an opportunity to do great work. Plus, we have to Simplify the process. Creativity doesn’t like hierarchy and oversized structures. And we need to build relationships based on Trust. The best creative work comes from collaborating with like-minded partners: bold clients, creative talent from all disciplines, cutting-edge production companies, and even with other independent agencies. But collaboration only works if there’s trust.

In the end, we want to be the agency brands want to work with and creatives want to work for, because of its respect for creativity.

Ready to fight

To put it more strongly, Julio adds: “We have all the traits of activists in our business: we are romantic, passionate, we believe a better way is possible. And we know the answer to our problems. Like in activism, it all starts with taking action, with believing that change is possible. And this change starts by setting creativity free.”

The way to do so is the way we work, the way we want to work, the way we’d love the whole industry to work: creativity needs respect, simplicity, trust. These are values we are ready to fight for. For our clients, for this business, and for ourselves.

Man Suddenly Becomes Superstitious Before Next England Game

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Imagine, thinking that every action you do in a day could jinx the result for the Euro 2020 Finals with England and Italy.

Lee Monk, 27, from Essex was never superstitious before England managed to somehow get to the Euro finals.

“Is that a ladder? If I see anyone getting even close to crossing under it, I have to shout out to stop them! They could jinx England. I’ve also given all the mirrors in the house away. We don’t want any bad luck if one of them gets broke, innit!”

The other day, Mr. Monk saw his neighbour’s black cat walk across his lawn. He immediately closed his eyes and convinced himself it was never there, and proceeded to throw copious amounts of salt over his left shoulder.

As for walking on the pavement, Mr. Monk is terrified whenever he goes out that he might step on a crack and jinx England’s chances that way.

“I’m glad the England match is on Sunday 11th July, and it’s not on the 13th, or a Friday the 13th. I think that would jinx England too much, and I would be in a state of perpetual hell!”

Mr. Monk now walks around with a ‘lucky’ horse shoe around his neck and has his fingers permanently crossed until the final result on Sunday.

“I’ve even gone off spag bol mate! Used to be my fave, but recently can’t even stand the fuckin’ smell!”

Why “Experts” Have to Think For You

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There’s something rather despicable and sad about people who don’t want to effect real change, whether in business, society or in culture. You see them on their tainted thrones, in their zoom call palaces dictating meaningless jargon to keep the rest placated. These are the ones who are simply running their mouths to keep the status quo going, and of course never to rock the boat in any meaningful way because that could endanger their precious salaries.

Of course, not every action can be ‘world beating’ or exact immense societal change, however there are times when those in power should make at least some kind of effort. Instead, we get a lot of mediocrity, and eventual nonchalance. What does anything matter if the so-called ‘experts’ don’t give a flying fuck about anything apart from their careers and salaries?

These experts are still wheeled out though, and the most awful part of the entire fiasco is that people in general need to be told how to think, they need to be told what is in, what is out, and they need to be told how to act.

All information now comes from a single designated source where history can be calmly deleted or skewed to suit the given programming agenda, and where anyone who may say anything contrary to the source is either completely deleted or calmly relegated to the outer regions of page 1600 or wherever they are never heard of ever again.

You may call yourself ‘Woke’ but you are still a pawn in a much larger game, you are a tool for the current economic agenda given to speakers (influencers) within the activist community to spread around to the ‘trendy’. Naturally, the masses follow the latest ‘trends’ without thought or individuality. These are the sheep to be herded, to be led to wherever the ‘activist trendsetter’ wishes them to go, and the blind sheep bleat excitedly as they are all led along for the ride. Yeah, you’re really making a difference.

Eventually, society will reach a stage where the ‘experts’ will tell people at the behest of their paymasters that snow is black, and they will agree without any hesitation or argument. We are already dangerously close to this ideal.

This Was Never a Pandemic but a Challenge of Mass Consumerism

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Mass consumerism is instilled in people from infancy, and the programming of humans to consume needlessly continues right up to death. There is little or no escape from the constant assault on each person to consume, consume, consume without thought or reason.

This is why we are seeing headlines right now about holidays on a constant basis, and the need to spend money on expensive stays in tourist hellholes in some pandemic hotspot. Forget about anything else, it is thoroughly important that you book a family get-away costing thousands where you may not only contract severe food poisoning but another Covid mutation that no one has encountered yet.

Within the mass consumerist West, this was never a pandemic, it was a challenge to the initial mass consumerist programming. We have seen extreme examples of consumerists who, in their extreme programmed state to consume needlessly, being denied by lockdown restrictions into doing what they were programmed to do from birth.

The education system is one that does not educate you as a human to increase your knowledge in any given subject, but to be a good tax slave and a good consumer.

You have to buy that thing, you have to buy a new car every 6 months, you have to have the most expensive holidays whatever your income, and if you cannot afford it now, do not worry the credit cards will accept your applications without vetting you. Even 12-year-olds from sink estates are given multiple credit cards to spend as they wish, such is the power of the programming to consume at all costs.

All TV shows and films are essentially adverts on consumerist dreams — how you could live a life just like this, as are the vapid Instagram influencers pushing their wares on anyone that views their pages.

There was no fucking lockdown. People were still frolicking on the beaches, partying in the park with friends, and the London Underground was full to the brim with non mask wearing commuters. International air travel was still open, and the ports were all open. Red listing one particular country was useless because travellers can use any airport from any country to bypass any country they want or to make it look like they came from another destination. How does one explain the multiples of Instagram influencers posting from sunny Dubai during the so-called lockdown, advertising their sponsored products?

This is why you have to book a holiday somewhere right now, simply because you cannot control yourself or your consumerist programming. You must do it despite the globe still being entrenched in a pandemic, and if there were crazed zombies out there looking for brains to munch on, you would still book that holiday abroad without even an ounce of hesitation.

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