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British Spirit of Adversity Shines Through on Gloomy Jubilee Weather

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“It’s not just about watching the royal flotilla pageant coming down the Thames whilst sipping your Pimm’s, you’ve also got to get a thorough soaking as well to really feel British. I’m proud of my Queen and country and as for the weather, that’s great too,” Julia Fortington Smythe, a thoroughly soaked Jubilee reveller waiting by the Chelsea bridge told the Telegraph on Sunday.

Dunkirk Spirit

One great point about Britain is the enduring spirit of its people through the most adverse conditions laid down by successive governments and royals. Through every indignity and horrible draconion law thrown at them by successive eras, they have taken it up the jacksie without so much as a whimper. Britain’s vast history is peppered with countless moments of hardship and turmoil for it’s people who seemed to have sailed through up to now and survived the onslaught.

Will the EU finally destroy Britain so it is swallowed up to become just another sheep-like slave zombie country in Europe, or will it keep its independence and national spirit — even though it has been attacked so viciously by Labour’s open door policy and unelected EU officials from Brussels?

“There is a reason why Britain is called Great Britain, not only for its conquering spirit but its leadership of the world. It continues to innovate in skill, design and ideas, even though manufacturing has all but been destroyed in this land, it still manages to make some useful things like mines and weapons to be used by despots around the world. The great thing about modern Britain is its amalgamation of pretty much everything from around the world. In other words, we’ve nicked half the wealth and natural resources from poorer countries. We should be proud of that, as well as the fact that the Jubilee celebrations will just showcase fair skinned English people having fun, and it’s a good thing the darkies have been shipped off to the outskirts for the day. You won’t see a dark face on the telly or the streets for a day, and that’s a huge bloody relief,” retired colonel, Arthur Devizes, told Sky news from Battersea.

Britons Getting Ready For Queen’s Jubilee Celebrations

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Around Britain, the nation is preparing to party like it’s 1952 all over again, only this time with better food and miles of Chinese made plastic bunting (1,500 miles of it, according to the latest estimates from Oxford mathematics professors).

Tesco is expecting to sell 200,000 bottles of cheap champagne from Romania, 2.8 million Victoria sponges baked in India and two million punnets of strawberries grown in Spain this weekend.

“This is going to be amazing we are so excited to celebrate her majesty’s incredible rule. Allahu Akbar,” Mohammed Al Makruni, a resident of Chigwell, Essex, told the BBC.

 

The Shanker gang from South London celebrating on their estate in Streatham

 

The Thames river procession, organised at a cost of £100.5 million to honour 60 years of Queen Elizabeth’s reign as monarch, will be the main event, celebrating the cultural richness of Britain in 2012.

“What better way to show the cultural diversity of Britain with a German Queen and a flotilla of refugee boats, some from the Sudan, some from Somalia, Tunisia, Morocco, Albania and Greece,” royal correspondent for the BBC, Jim Sacker, reported.

The flotilla of over 2,000 refugee boats will come up the Thames from Grays, Essex, then make its way up the river to Chelsea bridge where the refugees and illegal immigrants – who will have sailed on their last leg of the journey from France – will jump on shore and start the asylum process immediately.

American Crazy Season Starts Early This Year

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“Every year we get a little jump into the summer crazy season, it’s just a normal part of American society. What do you expect from a society where the majority of children are medicated up on drugs like Ritalin from the age of three and the majority of the American populace are on some kind of anti-depressants. Turn on any channel on American TV and you see adverts for drugs, that’s it, just advertisements telling you if you’re too happy take this, if you’re too sad take that, if you’re not feeling anything at all, take something else. Gone are the days when a child could be a child and jump around and have fun, they’re now deemed as hyperactive with ADHD and needs a dose of chemicals in his or her brain to make them into a walking zombie. What about if you’re too shy, that can be treated by drugs too. The long term damage to the brain that these drugs inflict are never talked about of course, and the proof is in the pudding, just try coming off these doctor prescribed drugs, you will see how dependent you have become and how your brain chemistry has already been permanently damaged. A society based on drugs and guns is not a healthy society, and it is not a model for longevity as a society. The doctors will of course tell you to take another drug or keep on the one you’re on. They do not advise anyone to come off the drugs under any circumstance. People with skewed opinions and thought processes naturally freak out more, they are not stable, and this is the crux of the matter, give these people guns like in America, and you have a dangerous cocktail of treacherous fear inducing psychosis waiting to boil over at any random moment. Naturally there are huge profits to be made by the drug industries that push these drugs on the people,” resident professor of psychology , Dr. Dean Brauer, at UCLA Medical School told the LA Times before being struck off for telling the truth.

As economic tensions increase, joblessness in America is now so severe that many people have simply just given up looking for work and are instead trying to eke out an existence purely from the land. The $20 trillion US deficit does not help the issue, because this means that America’s spending power is severely reduced with the huge burden of interest payments. Each state in America is now struggling with economic stagnation as the revenue deteriorates, how are Americans meant to keep their services running, their utilities, their energy costs?

What has Obama done, apart from stoke the fires of debt. He pushed for two bailouts and a crippling health bill that has simply left the budget in total disarray. How many golf games does it take to pay a social security bill that is higher than America’s tax receipts? With the Army and Navy tied up on two fronts in Iraq and Afghanistan, there is no end in sight for the billions of dollars spent on nothing. Afghanistan can never be won, because it is a Muslim country, and the Christian West cannot win in a Muslim country unless they kill every single man, woman and child. Until they do that, they are simply flailing around in the dark. Instead, the Muslims in these countries know that they must drag out the wars for as long as possible so that eventually the money in America is depleted to nothing. Already, after suckering George W. Bush and the Neocons into an expensive insurgent war, they have watched America waste trillions of dollars on thin air. The Muslim Arabs and Pashtuns have all the time in the world, their cultures have existed for thousands of years, whereas America is still in its diapers with regards to ancient knowledge and tactics.

As America implodes with its guns and drugs, Obama will have his second term, and he will not be playing the nice game anymore. He knows he will not need to be elected again, so the next agenda will be to definitely disarm the civilian population of the United States. Without this, there can not be any future for America because an armed people will be too dangerous for the elite, especially if they are slowly waking up to how they are being manipulated by the controllers. They want a placated population and not one armed to the teeth. Look at the UK, a place where the populations were disarmed in the 1930s and any governmental indignity and repressive laws can be foisted on them without so much as a burp or word. This too will be America’s future, and it will be an imperitive carried out with great speed and efficiency by the Obama administration. They have been itching to do this for so long that to them and most Americans, it will come as a huge relief. Take my gun, I’ve had enough, they will say.

Osborne to Tax U Turns

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This new U-turn tax is hot and straight out of the oven.

According to Treasury insiders, the new tax will certainly not be left to cool at room temperature but will be freshly baked and ready for consumption, no extra VAT added, of course.

“It’s really quite simple, one comes out with a budget that was not thought out properly and then one has to go back to the press later with some U-turns in policy. Well, I’m going to tax those very U-turns and I think the revenue raised from taxing the U-turns will be quite substantial. In fact, we could pay for more legislative taxation on U-turns with the extra U-turn taxes,” Mr Osborne said from parliament yesterday.

Blair Congratulates Assad on Job Well Done

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Mr Blair has been officially invited to Damascus to stay with the Assads in mid-June at the palace.

“When I saw the headlines about all those Arab children murdered in cold blood by Assad’s forces, I got goosebumps all over. You know how it is when you get moments of nostalgia, I too remembered the wonderful times Dubya and I had in Iraq and Afghanistan condemning millions of people to be displaced from their homes; dumping tonnes of depleted uranium on their land and carpet bombing large swathes of the country killing hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians. I have to say though, he hasn’t done nearly as good as I did, but then again, he doesn’t get pay offs from large banking institutions like I have,” Mr Blair said from the Leveson Whitewash Inquiry.

Mr Assad made a statement through Syrian state television last night: “My good friend Tony Blair is coming to visit me, just like he visited Colonel Gaddafi until he was deemed not useful anymore. I have tried to impress Tony with my killing sprees but speaking on the phone last night, he reminded me that I still have a long way to go innit until I get to his level of coldblooded murder.”

Cheryl Cole to Learn How to Play Musical Instrument

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“This could take her years of practice and hard toil but she is determined to learn how to play the recorder,” her agent Matzos Wilder, told MTV.

The ‘talented singer’ has always wanted to play a musical instrument and is even considering getting singing lessons as well.

“It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do, you know become musical, like actually learn how to play something or even write a little ditty. I heard that there were singers in the old days who would sing without an Antares autotune machine, I might even try that one day, as long as I can still mime to my studio tracks on stage,” Cheryl Cole told MTV.

The MTV reality show will follow the starlet through her musical training sessions where she will attend classes with children as young as six to learn how to play the recorder.

“I’ve seen her, she’s good at blowing the flute, she told me she had a lot of practice. How else do you think she got this far in the music biz?” a very lucky MTV producer, Lackey Luster, said on MTV news.

IMF Chief Lagarde to Holiday in Greece

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“I was invited to go to Greece to see for myself how the populations are living after they spent 500 billion euros from the EU in less than six years. For a population of just 19 million people, that is an impressive spending streak. Everyone owns a Porsche Cayenne and a helicopter. It should be delightful staying at the coast, I have heard the yachts there owned by all the Greeks are the best in the Mediterranean. I am sure they will all greet me with enthusiasm as I top up my tan on a boat or beach,” Ms Lagarde told the French newspaper, Le Monde on Saturday.

The Greek Foreign Minister, Tsisos Malaka, told Greek television: “We welcome Ms Lagarde to Greece. I have invited her to my villa in Thessaloniki. I want to show her that Greek peoples are very hard working. We wake up in the morning, check our bank accounts to see if the latest EU subsidy has been paid by the Germans, then we transfer the money offshore to the Caymans or other havens. Our working week lasts from Monday to Wednesday, sometimes we even work on Thursdays. It is hard, what with the three hour lunches, then a two hour siesta, maybe go for a swim then it’s to the coffee house to play backgammon, drink ouzo and smoke for the rest of the evening. By the way, she is also welcome at my villa in Lake Lugano and in Geneva.”

“It is unfortunate that Lagarde made a comment about the Greeks being lazy, corrupt, ungrateful tax-dodgers worthy of Nigerian 419 scammers, but consider the fact that in some Greek towns, everyone is registered as blind. All it takes to receive full benefits and extra payments from the EU is to give your doctor 200 euros and he’ll amend your records. After that is submitted to the necessary EU department, the recipient will never have to work for the rest of their life. There are so many blind people in some Greek towns that the statistics are baffling, especially when they’re all driving Ferraris. These are some of the scams that have been going on for years. It is sad that the few honest Greeks are tainted with the same brush as the majority,” a butcher from the Greek island of Kiltzos told Reuters.

When Lagarde lands in Greece in July for her holidays and goes for a meal, who is to know what the chef and restaurant workers will deposit in her food? It will certainly be a very interesting meze for her.

Eurovision: United Kingdom Comes Second…….From Last

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One thing is certain, every year in the Eurovision song contest twelve points are always awarded from Greece to Cyprus and Cyprus to Greece, but even more certain, is that the poor old United Kingdom always ends up only getting four or five points.

Humperdinked

“You could have Elvis Presley singing for the UK and he’d still get trounced by Bulgaria or some other Eastern European country full of goat herders with atrocious songs. It’s a bloody disgrace,” a disgusted Englebert Humperdink, told the Sunday Times, before being carted off with the Russian contingent to a retirement home.

It certainly is a shameful way to end a career in the biz by getting four points at the Eurovision contest, especially after a career spanning 40 years and a multi million selling roster.

Next year, much of the same with two hours of terrible tacky songs, then an hour of politically motivated voting.

British Olympic Flame Carriers Pass On 1936 Nazi Olympics Tradition

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There’s nothing vaguely Greek or Olympic about the torch being carried from city to city, country to country with the torch relay. This tradition was first started by the Nazis during the 1936 Olympics in Berlin devised by Carl Diem, secretary of the Nationalsozialistischer Reichsbund für Leibesübungen, under the guidance of Reich Minister of Propaganda, Joseph Goebbels.

Illuminatus

“When you see the Olympic illuminated torch relay going from city to city in Britain, you must remember that this has nothing to do with the Olympics. It is in fact, a tradition started in 1936 during the Nazi Olympics and thought up by Nazis to promote the Nationalsozialismus ideology and symbolised the illumination of their superior Germanic Aryan Über men over other races,” Professor of History at Cambridge University, John Ainsworth, told the Times.

British 2012 Olympic officials were however quick to downplay the Nazi symbolism: “I think it’s great that we’re keeping the Nazi torch bearer tradition alive. The Nazis seem to have been pretty good with flames, like the ones in Auschwitz that were burning night and day, as well as the Olympic flames in 1936. I hope our games are as successful as the Übermenschen laden games of 1936,” Carl Pilkingross, told the Sun newspaper.

A Foaming Mouth No Excuse For Treatment on the NHS

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What does it take to get treatment on the NHS? it seems even if you are in the latter stages of rabies, it is still quite hard to get a doctor to see you, let alone treat you.

“Rabies? Take two aspirin and a cup of tea and you’ll be fine in the morning,” Dr. Rajah Chakrabati, of the Royal Holloway hospital told the Daily Mail.

That’s exactly what they told that poor old woman who was bitten by a dog and contracted rabies in India last week and was sent home twice from A&E when she arrived in Britain.

Sadly after pleading with doctors and GPs numerous times about her condition, her fate was sealed as she was sent home and told to forget about it.