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Trump Recognizes Kiev, Ukraine as Russia’s Capital

Louis Cypher
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Trump Recognizes Kiev, Ukraine as Russia’s Capital

 

“Today, we finally acknowledge the obvious: that Kiev is Russia’s capital. This is nothing more or less than a recognition of reality. It is also the right thing to do,” Trump said from the White House’s Diplomatic Reception Room.

“After Russia invaded and annexed half of Ukraine, we are no closer to a lasting peace agreement between Russia and the Ukrainians. It would be folly to assume that repeating the exact same formula would now produce a different or better result,” he added.

Trump’s decision upended a few years of US foreign policy that has resisted a recognition of Kiev as Russia’s capital before the Russo-Ukrainian conflict is resolved.

“Today, I am delivering,” Trump said, referencing his campaign promise.

Trump, with triumphant rhetoric added: “Might is right. We see this throughout history. The Russians conquered and vanquished the weaker side, the Ukrainians, who are now defacto Russians. Hell, they all speak the Slavic gobbledygook language, it’s all Greek to me. I like Slavs though, I mean the women, they’re very obedient and do as they are told, or you know what happens, a visit from Mr. back-hand to put them in their place.”

There was however, some uproar from the International community, especially the EU, who have tried for years to woo the Ukrainians to join their side.

But Trump’s move on Wednesday signaled a willingness to prioritize the fulfillment of another campaign promise over warnings from US allies in the region. The decision could also stymie the peace process and increase security risks in a region that is already on edge.

Acknowledging the concerns he fielded a day earlier from regional EU leaders, Trump underscored his decision by reaffirming the United States’ commitment to helping Russians and Ukrainians reach a peace agreement through total war.

Crimea River

“If one side has bigger weapons and more soldiers, then it is only right that the smaller, weaker side capitulates, surrenders, or is totally annihilated,” Trump said. “Those questions are up to the parties involved. The United States remains deeply committed to backing total aggression from the Russians, just because they have more weapons and men to fight with.”

Trump’s announcement was warmly received by Russian president Vladimir Putin, who seized on the opportunity to call on other countries to join the US in recognizing Kiev as Russia’s capital.

“The President’s decision is an important step towards peace, for there is no peace that doesn’t include Kiev as the capital of the State of Russia,” Putin said.

Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko condemned and rejected Trump’s decision. Speaking in a televised address, the former-Ukrainian leader said the move will aid extremist organizations to wage more wars.

“Just because the Russians have more weapons and soldiers than us and have invaded our country it does not mean they have the fucking right to rule over us — BASTARDS!,” he said, before he was summarily taken away by a specialist Russian extraction squad and shot in the head.

John Cleese in Cafe Breastfeeding Row

Louis Cypher
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John Cleese in Cafe Breastfeeding Row

Cleese said: “I noticed a baby crying in the arms of its mother as I ate my meal, and I said ‘ah poor thing, is your little one hungry?’”.

She told me he was, as she’d forgotten to bring his bottle. I said: “Well, madam you must emancipate the bosom upon your offspring the mother’s milk he requires – disembark the melon, it’s what nature intended.”

“What do you mean?” she said.

“Well lob the noisy brat on to one of your bulbous flesh balloons and tell him to suck, there’s a decent supply there by the looks of it, you know – a large tank.”

She told me I was being vulgar, so I said: “Madam, there’s nothing distasteful about breast
feeding in public these days, attitudes have changed, it’s perfectly natural, unleash the grapefruit without hesitation and hook his snapper on to one of your light switches.”

She told me I was being crude, so I said: “Madam, I’m merely pointing out that a hungry infant should not be deprived of the succulent milky nutrition it needs based on society’s taboos.

“Demonstrably satisfy the grateful recipient, unshackle the coconut and jam his chopper on to one of your coat hangers. Pump the stuff out like a dairy farm, don’t worry about me, I’m a modern man, besides we live in a different generation now.

“Stand up for womanhood, rebel against café protocol, what is more important? – providing a nutritious milk snack for your kid, or the authoritative prevention of a breastfeeding act that could cause an eating customer to vomit their meal all over the ceiling at the sight of it?

“If I had things my way every café in the world would abolish its policy on breastfeeding: six kids on each nipple, making slurping sounds so loud you’d need to bring a fucking megaphone to order your food – rivers of unrestrained semi-skimmed tit juice would flood the streets, canoeists yelling ‘avoid the double cream rapids!’”.

She said “Okay you vile man, have it your way!” – undoing her blouse.

I said “Hold on a minute darling, can’t you wait until I finish my spaghetti Bolognese?”

Urusalima: There is No Peaceful Solution to a 4,000 Year Old Problem

Louis Cypher
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Urusalima: There is No Peaceful Solution to a 4,000 Year Old Problem

As the US House passes legislation to limit aid to Palestinians, effectively condemning them to even worse conditions than usual, and Donald Trump’s plan to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel comes in fruition, the augurs do not bode well for a region steeped in such historical complication.

There used to be a time when all factions lived well together but those days are all gone as each lays claim to a very tiny plot of land.

So who owns Jerusalem, or Urusalima as the cuneiform using Canaanite, Phoenicians called it 4,000 odd years ago before moving on to Carthage?

The answer is very simple. Many different cultures and religious factions have claimed ownership of this particular piece of land over time, however the dominant ones usually supercede the less dominant, as in all cases of land ownership.

Today, it is Israel, and its military might, its vast riches, its vast coterie of well-educated citizens, and its friendly status with the United States afford it superiority to any other state in the region.

Military might always seals any landownership question, and Israel has a vast army of highly trained conscripts, a nuclear arsenal and the latest technical weaponry in the whole of the Middle East. Its supremacy as a state locked amongst Arab nations who are itching to destroy it is supreme, for if Israel were to disarm tomorrow, they would be overrun and destroyed in less than a few hours.

There is only one singular solution to this age-old problem, and it is complete war. If this is to be something that will be solved, then one or many factions has to be completely destroyed.

In an ideal world, one could easily postulate that diplomacy and peaceful means could solve this problem of land ownership however, we do not live in a ideal world where people let bygones be bygones, and peacefully shake hands over things any more.

War, military superiority is the only way this can be solved succinctly and one day it shall be a fight to the death that will ultimately solve/cleanse the situation. Otherwise, the squabbling will never end, and it can go on for another thousand years from generation to generation.

Will Sheldon Adelson Get His Way?

Louis Cypher
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Will Sheldon Adelson Get His Way?

After starting life as the son of immigrants from Wales and Lithuania who slept on the floor in an apartment in Boston, Sheldon Adelson has built up a net worth of over $38 billion.

Today, he’s the CEO and chairman of the Las Vegas Sands Corporation.

He’s also well publicised as being a huge contributor towards President Trump’s electoral
campaign, giving almost $1.5 million to the campaign and various committees.

During the 2016 election cycle, the Adelson’s gave conservative candidates over $80 million.

And when Trump won, Adelson broke records by adding $5 million to the inaugural fund.
However, more recently, Adelson has been hitting the headlines for different reasons as he endeavours to get the Interstate Wire Act, which was introduced in 2011, overturned. This
act gives states the power to decide whether they want to legalise online gambling or not.

By 2013, New Jersey, Nevada and Delaware had all decided to do so, with Nevada only
legalising online poker.

The stance Adelson has taken means he’s putting himself and his company, Las Vegas
Sands, up against Caesars Entertainment and MGM Resorts who are all vying to make
money through online gambling.

Why is Adelson Against Online Gambling?
​
It perhaps comes as a bit of surprise that Adelson is opposed to online gambling, especially
with him making so much money from his own land-based casinos. However, Adelson’s
reasons for opposing online gambling are on ‘moral grounds’, with him suggesting that these platforms are making it too easy for the poor or children to bet.

Will President Trump Change the Laws?

Even though it’s clear that Adelson and Trump are close allies, Donald Trump did run
casinos in New Jersey for a number of years and may, therefore, take a different view.
Reports even suggest that, in 2011, Trump considered entering into the online gambling
world (this is according to the Securities and Exchange Commission).

Furthermore, by overturning the Wire Act, the expansion of online gambling might not be the only thing that’s affected. The states that have already legalised online gambling could be significantly impacted, with the former chairman of the Nevada State Gaming Control Board, Dennis Neilander, suggesting that the Department of Justice could, in theory, bring criminal actions against those licensees who have ‘violated’ the Wire Act.

And with several states, including New Hampshire, New York, Illinois and Pennsylvania all
considering legalising online gambling, this overturn could cause even more disruption if it
goes ahead.

For example, in Pennsylvania, where the Sands Bethlehem casino resort owned by Adelson
is, Democrats have estimated that $100 million could be raised in the first year if Internet
gambling was legalised. This would come from tax revenue and licensing fees – an
important addition seen as though the state is currently facing a revenue shortfall of $3
billion.

Both sides have also warned against the potential loss of jobs and lawsuits that may come
with the decision.

What Can the U.S. Learn from the U.K.?

The U.K. has, unquestionably, benefited from the legalisation of online gambling. Latest
figures indicate that the entire gambling industry in the U.K. is worth £13.7 billion, with the
online betting, bingo and casino sector enjoying a market share of 34% (approximately £4.6 billion). Equally, in 2015 in Australia, revenues from the iGaming industry were up 43%.

Online gaming sites have been able to take advantage of how prevalent gambling is in the
U.K. Online bingo is proving to be particularly successful, Wink Bingo have taken advantage
of the proud history of bingo in Britain, they have even adapted their game to ensure it is
popular amongst younger generations. And by offering free bingo, Wink Bingo has
successfully tapped into a growing marketplace of people who are looking to switch off, relax and enjoying gaming on the go.

Furthermore, it’s a legal requirement under the U.K. gambling licence for online websites to
confirm the age, locational and residential status of any of their customers. This information is often verified through ‘soft’ credit checks, which not only help protect vulnerable people from betting online but also reduces the number of money laundering and fraud cases.

If a person’s age cannot be verified on the electoral roll at the provided address, gamers will need to send a copy of their ID to verify their age, e.g. a passport.

Conclusion

As you can see, the online gambling industry has a lot to offer local economies. And this
only looks set to increase further.

In 2012, statistics indicated that the international gaming industry had an overall worth of
$417 billion, with 8% of this ($33.8 billion) coming from online channels. Further research
also suggests that by 2020, this figure could have nearly doubled to reach a staggering
$59.79 billion.

Therefore, even though Adelson appears to have quite a close relationship with Trump, the
amount of potential money that could be generated by keeping online gambling legal in the
U.S. may be too much to turn down (particularly when Trump has shown signs of investing
in this industry himself).

Welcome to Donkey Brexit Britain!

Louis Cypher
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Welcome to Donkey Brexit Britain!

Welcome to the land of donkey Britain, a sorrowful place where all hope of a real Brexit has been lost and instead we never left the EU, in fact, the EU is even more prevalent than it was before we supposedly left the damn thing.

As you can see, Theresa May, a Remainer, has capitulated to EU demands, as well as, shat on, and plainly insulted 17.8 million voters who voted to LEAVE THE EU in the EU Referendum on June 23, 2016.

There is no way this mess can be called Brexit, and it should be renamed as Remaixit, or Neverexit, or just a load of bollocks that has been going on inanely for months and months, only for Britons to be sold out at the last minute.

 

 

 

How it All Progressed

  1. Brexit means Brexit!

2. Brexit means two year transition agreement with no trade deals allowed!

3. Brexit means two year transition agreement and 100 billion euro divorce bill!

4. Brexit means two year transition agreement, 100 billion euro divorce bill and continued ECJ jurisdiction!

5. Brexit means two year transition agreement, 100 billion euro divorce bill, continued ECJ jurisdiction and dissolution of Northern Ireland!

No Balls Britain

We’re literally banging our heads against the wall here, how the hell in satan’s arsehole’s name can this Brexit have gone down the shitter as fast as it has done? Are there any Brexiteers with any power to step in and sort this out? Surely, some Brexiteers in parliament must have a modicum of power? Jacob Rees Mogg, you talk the talk but where are you? Why do you not step up and do something? Boris Johnson, where is he? John Redwood, are you going to actually do something? All these people talk, and talk, talk, but there is no action in their words, or any will in them to actually do something.

The country is lost. Here we have Theresa May, a knackered donkey making a total ass of herself and her country. Britain is now a laughing stock around the world, a place where there is no courage, no fighting spirit left.

Who would have thought that Britain once upon a time fought and won two world wars?

The courage and fighting spirit of yesterday’s Britons is far gone, because today we only have cowards, simpering defeatists and balless wonders prancing around stages cackling away endlessly in some sort of insane circus repeating themselves endlessly.

Theresa May lied, because Brexit does not mean Brexit. She is therefore a liar, and should go now. There is no choice, there should not be any pity or mercy, she should be cut off, taken out, thrown away, for even the knackers yard is too good for her.

Begone you old withering witch, your days are numbered, and if the Tories do not do this, so will theirs.

 

 

Why the Government Will Not Be Able to Regulate Cryptocurrencies

Louis Cypher
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Why the Government Will Not Be Able to Regulate Cryptocurrencies

To be so far behind technological advances, to be so ignorant of the machinations of cryptocurrencies and how they work is unforgivable in today’s modern age, however, in government where they lag behind by about two centuries, they have just noticed that cryptocurrencies exist.

The Treasury plans to regulate bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies to bring them in line with anti-money laundering and counter-terrorism financial legislation.

The funny thing is, there is nothing the government can do to track Bitcoin transfers once converted from fiat currency, and if anyone wants to transfer from Bitcoin to fiat, this is easily done at an anonymous broker somewhere offshore.

The majority of exchanges already have rigorous ID checks in place, so the governmental meddling will amount to nothing new in many exchanges on the internet.

As for the Tor, Dark Net, they are well prepared for such intrusion, and will simply conduct their business as usual. What they do is completely untraceable, as they utilise techniques away from the system, like Tails.

Cryptocurrencies were designed specifically for the purpose of circumnavigating governmental intrusion and being separate of any fiat currency model. The algorithms and blockchain systems in place are not centralised, and therefore, immune to any government trying to change or regulate them.

 

Today the Day Theresa May Starts Looking For Another Job

Louis Cypher
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Today the Day Theresa May Starts Looking For Another Job

“Yes, we can confirm that Mrs. May is actively looking for other employment opportunities. She has a copy of the Evening Standard where they post some job ads. In fact, there is one job she is applying to, and that is a shoe saleswoman in Barking, East London. This would be a great opportunity for the ex-PM to be around what she loves, shoes.”

The final nail in the coffin for many was Theresa May approving that the European Courts of Justice would have full jurisdiction in Britain after Brexit. This is tantamount to Britain not leaving the EU at all.

The soon-to-be ex-PM also conceded to pay Brussels whatever they want with a 100 billion euro payment, of course taken out of the purse of the British taxpayer. This blackmail ransom money could have easily been avoided by not pandering to the EU’s ridiculous demands and simply leaving the talks. Instead, Theresa May lifted up her skirt, bent over the table and was used like a piece of sallow rotting meat by EU eurocrats.

In a failed Brexit, led by Remainers, what did you expect?

So, what happens when Theresa May is shown the door? Yes, there could be another impromptu general election, which would no doubt bring in Comrade Corbyn. In a weird, anarchic sense, this would be a fitting end to a Brexit that is not really a Brexit but one only by name. We would naturally have anarchy in the streets, massive chaos in government, banking services completely disrupted and stripped of their privileges, and a royal family on the run, turfed out of their palaces by the people’s army and Momentum.

What about the other Brexiteers in the Tory government? Well, according to many voters, they did not have the balls to stand up to Theresa May when she was in power, therefore they failed their country miserably. They may call themselves Brexiteers, however, they are, much like the fake Brexit we are being delivered, fake as well.

Trump Tweet to Daily Squib Demands Removal of Interview

Louis Cypher
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Trump Tweet to Daily Squib Demands Removal of Interview

Today, Trump tweeted to the Daily Squib that he wanted an interview we conducted in 2016 with him to be removed.

Let us say that it took us by surprise, especially when he called the lovely staff at the Daily Squib ‘assholes’.

Well, in defiance, no Sir, we will not delete the marvelous interview conducted by our chief reporter Labby Majora.

As a piece of journalism, the interview gives a full in-depth viewpoint into the world of Donald J. Trump, and we say this in a kind way, we did not intend to make you look like an ‘asshole’.

In fact, Mr. Trump, we would advise you yourself to step away from the keyboard because some of your twitter rants are not becoming of a president or very statesmanlike.

Why don’t you get an intern to do that stuff? Shouldn’t you be running the country or something? Maybe building a wall?

trump tweet

Our Chief reporter was frankly quite upset, and was found in the photocopy room masturbating viciously in disgust. Unfortunately, for that, he has now been relegated to mopping duties in the canteen.

To reiterate, no, sorry, we will not delete the wonderful interview of you Mr. Trump, because it is a segment of history, a small part of the puzzle piece, a plop in the toilet of journalistic license that should not be erased but instead applauded.

January Transfer Window: Could a Spurs Star be Heading to Old Trafford?

Louis Cypher
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January Transfer Window: Could a Spurs Star be Heading to Old Trafford?

 

Danny Rose, one of the Premier League’s leading defenders, told The Sun during the summer that he had “one big contract left” and that “time is running out to win trophies”.

He also added: “I know my worth and I will make sure I get what I am worth.”

Although he soon apologised for his comments, it’s likely he still feels the way he does and is reportedly keen on moving back to the north to ply his trade – with Manchester United
looking to spend big to get him to Old Trafford.

Levy might have the reputation for being a tough man to negotiate with, but Spurs’ refusal
break their wage cap, although admirable, could be about to bite them.

The White Hart Lane men lost right-back Kyle Walker to Manchester City this summer for around £50m and are now firm title favourites, so expect Rose to command a similar fee and have a comparable impact, again swaying title odds for those who bet on football if United sign him.

Despite Luke Shaw returning to the starting fold recently and impressing against CSKA
Moscow as the Red Devils sealed Champions League knockout stage qualification, doubts
surround his future.

The former Southampton star has found it hard to get going in Manchester, due to devastating injuries and managerial worries about his attitude.

So, could Rose be a viable target for Jose Mourinho, with Shaw heading towards a January or summer exit?

United aren’t short of funds and will be ready to spend on players that could see them
overtake title rivals City.

United have already triggered the option of the one-year extension they hold on Shaw’s
four-year contract. This prevents to chance of losing him for nothing when he could become a free agent at the end of next summer.

Losing Rose could start a high-profile exodus at Spurs, as there’s only so long you can continually go trophyless and be paid what some players feel is under their market value.

​

For instance, Dele Alli signed a new £50,000-a-week six-year deal in September last year,
but recently left his old agent in favour of a deal with the agency that represents Cristiano
Ronaldo. Alli could comfortably earn four times what he is paid by Tottenham by leaving
next summer for a Spanish giant or either of the elite Manchester clubs, which puts Levy in a difficult position. Eager to keep his talent, while remaining true to his strict financial plan,
may not be possible while Spurs build a new stadium.

After starting the beginning of the season with a knee injury, Rose has made just two Premier League appearances since coming back.

In fact, it appears the England international is firmly out of favour with Mauricio Pochettino, having either been on the bench of not in the matchday squad for five of Tottenham’s last seven league outings.

Could United snatch Rose away from the London club? Rumours certainly suggest Mourinho
would love to have the Doncaster-born left back starting for the Red Devils.

The Evil of Tony Blair Never Falters

Louis Cypher
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The Evil of Tony Blair Never Falters

Here is a man who did not bat an eyelid when he invaded Iraq and oversaw the extermination of millions of people. His actions created a vacuum in the Middle East that is still raging on in Syria. For profit, Tony Blair murdered over a million humans in Iraq and Afghanistan, and yet he still shows his face today.

Blair is the face of pure evil, a festering blackness that is now trying to infect the Brexit proceedings, and his efforts to turn people against Brexit will only make them more resilient.

No! There will not be a second Referendum, Mr. Blair. You may consult with the enemy, you may dip your treasonous fingers in the murky waters of the EU Commission, however, your efforts will ultimately fail, as you have failed in life, your only salvation is a living death.

There will be no deliverance for Tony Blair, in this physical world or the one that follows. He may hide in his myriad of mansions paid for from the blood and tears of many, but he still will never find peace, or redemption for the evil he has sown in this world.

Let us pray for the dark soul that is Tony Blair, that it be thrown from this earth, and consigned to the deepest depths of darkness forever, to be forgotten and never repeated by another living person.

For this horrid, mangy excuse of humanity, Blair will never stop Brexit, as much as he will try with his other evil friends, like Peter Mandelson. There is no turning back the clock, the people voted on June 23, 2016, to leave the EU, and whatever happens now, we will leave the EU and forge our own destiny on the high seas.

No one wants to listen to Tony Blair anymore.

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Tony Blair’s Iraq legacy
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