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A Lighthearted Take on the 2019 Cheltenham Festival

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The world of horse racing reaches fever pitch during the Cheltenham Festival – four days of terrific jumps action which this year is on from March 12 to 15 in the Cotswolds. This is our light hearted take on what to look out for at the 2019 meeting.

Can mares be Champion?

In the aftermath of International Women’s Day, the big race on the Tuesday at Cheltenham is the Champion Hurdle and some mares are well-fancied to win it.

Never mind gender equality, the ladies get a 7lb sex allowance from the geldings – and that puts dual winner Buveur D’Air at a distinct disadvantage as he seeks the hat-trick. How the other half live, eh?

Apple’s Jade is one of two Irish raiders benefitting from these Champion Hurdle race terms. She’s been awesome in the Emerald Isle this year, so can either she or unbeaten hurdler Laurina emulate the likes of Annie Power and Dawn Run? It’s a competitive Champion Hurdle puzzle all right.

Altior unbeatable?

"Altior put his unbeaten record on the line" (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Carine06
“Altior put his unbeaten record on the line” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Carine06

Horses in the two-mile chase division are running scared from Altior. Isn’t that what they do when jumping fences at a breakneck gallop anyway?

Nicky Henderson’s best chance of a winner comes on Ladies’ Day, the Wednesday of Cheltenham, and his unbeaten nine-year-old is on course to defend his Queen Mother Champion Chase crown. Altior is the stuff that Festival free bets and offers are made of.

You’ll hear the phrase banker. No, you’ve not misheard. Altior looks exactly that and is prime material for a Ladies’ Day double with fellow three-time Cheltenham Festival winner Tiger Roll in the Cross Country Chase.

Paisley Park more than Prince’s home

Once upon a time, there was a blind man called Andrew Gemmell who owned a horse called Paisley Park. No jokes there. By far the most heartwarming story of this year’s Festival would be if his rapidly improving staying hurdler could win one of the big races on day three of the meeting.

The Stayers’ Hurdle is among many Cheltenham contests that have cut-up as potential hopefuls fall by the wayside. So, this is what it sounds like when doves cry. Paisley Park takes on equally popular veteran Faugheen – four years his senior – over three miles on “St Patrick’s Thursday”.

"Mine's a pint please" (CC BY 2.0) by IntangibleArts
“Mine’s a pint please” (CC BY 2.0) by IntangibleArts

Look, nobody mention to Cheltenham staff that Paddy’s day isn’t until the 17th (the Sunday after), OK? They’re expecting to sell lots of Guinness – and we mean lots.

Will Mullins end Gold Cup hoodoo?

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. Willie Mullins may be one of the best jumps trainers in horse racing, but the Irishman has never lifted the Cheltenham Gold Cup.

He launches a four-pronged attack this year at ending his hoodoo in the blue riband event of steeplechasing. Kemboy, Invitation Only, Bellshill and Al Boum Photo are the quartet from Closutton going to the race. Will the luck of the Irish desert him again?

Mullins might just get that monkey off his back, you know. Fellow Irish raider and leading Gold Cup fancy Presenting Percy hasn’t jumped a fence in anger for 12 months, although he has won over hurdles and the nice people at Galway reconfigured their chase course so he could do a bit of schooling.

Without Air Force Brutal ISIS Lost the War Years Ago

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One has to question the level of intelligence of the ISIS hierarchy, when they conquered vast swathes of territory, to neglect the need for an air force to keep that territory in place.

In modern military warfare, it is impossible to survive without air superiority, and the idiots who bumbled their foot soldiers across Iraq and Syria obviously thought nothing of even training one pilot, or even sequestering the use of a single helicopter.

The death of ISIS country in Syria and Iraq is a testament to the blind idiocy of some religious zealots who think they will just get by because they are doing ‘god’s’ work. Instead, ISIS troops and territory have been decimated by air strikes, and drone strikes conducted from thousands of miles away in Arizona, and places like that. Satellite feeds can watch in real time any sort of movement of ISIS troops, and drones can carry out precision strikes from out of nowhere. Over the past few years, shooting ISIS militants has been like shooting fish in a barrel, because they have no air force of their own.

Coupled with the clever usage of ground troops, and air support, ISIS is now completely decimated within Syria and Iraq, and their brutal legacy is now a lingering traumatic memory, especially with the Yazidis and other brutalized people of the region.

Of course, there are ISIS elements still dotted around various parts of the Middle East, Africa and South-East Asia, as well as lone-wolf operators within Western countries along with cells, however the loss of their conquered Syrian/Iraqi territory will still be a great disaster, because it is a sign that they achieved very little during their tenure, and that they are a hugely ineffective militarily in the long run.

The lesson must be learned, get a bloody air force running before you even think about conquering any area, because without air support your troops will be sitting ducks to the enemy. Maybe, one day the ISIS overlords and their brutal regime may learn this rule of modern combat but until that day comes, they will never hold a territory long enough.

Getting an air force does not come cheap either, not only do you have to have highly trained support personnel and pilots, but hardware has to be constantly maintained, and upgraded. Radar, satellite, and weapons development are additional necessities. F22 Raptor’s don’t come cheap, at approximately $150 million a piece, the procurement cost for the total program was $64 billion in development alone.

There’s always the acquisition of older tech, like the F16 which can be picked up for a measly $18 million a piece, but the other point in hand is that these aircraft are only sold to nation states, and not terror groups, so that puts ISIS shit out of luck on that one. They could of course have gone east and procured some old Soviet aircraft, or Chinese, but that would also mean jumping through a lot of hoops.

Anyway, it does not bear thinking about, Jihadis in jets, how about Jihadis in submarines? Now that would be quite a sight, and a very scary destructive sight at that too.

‘Grifters’ Remake Film Could be Modeled on Meghan Markle Says Director

Luciano Espinoza, world renowned director, who recently worked on the remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, is a fan of con men and women, and the subtle art of the grifter.

“I am fascinated by these characters who never work a day in their lives, but instead gain many riches from conning other people out of their money. To see the rise of Meghan Markle from a d-list nobody character to the highest level of royalty is to me a work of genius. She has tied the hands of Prince Harry behind his back, blinded him completely and controls the boy like a clockwork toy. Pure genius!”

Master manipulator

According to palace insiders, Markle now writes Prince Harry’s speeches, has banned him from alcohol, meat, tea and coffee, and chooses his clothes. She dictates to him what he should say and where to go, and now uses royal funds to appropriate anything she wants.

The Grifters

The 1990 film ‘The Grifters’ is a small glimpse into the specialist art of conning people, and is a cult movie starring John Cusack, Anjelica Huston and Annette Benning.

The plot of the loosely modeled remake is being kept under wraps, however it will feature a narcissistic manipulative American actress who cons her way into high circles, fooling millions of people, and totally ignoring friends and family who she used previously to get where she is.

“Con men and women are intricate creatures, they have multiple facets to their character, and plan meticulously each step of the con. The only one they love is themselves and they never pity the chumps they use to get what they want. This is why the sociopathic calculating character of Meghan is so endearing to the writer, she is ruthless in her ability to cut off dead wood, even her own father. She is also extremely manipulative and uses her PR team to concoct stories that will bring praise from the public her way. Her trickery is subtle, but divisive, as she works efficiently to seal her place in royal circles, ” the director added.

The film is still in early stages of casting but there is serious excitement brewing up for the project.

Swift – The Master of Satire

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It’s easy to think of satire as a contemporary phenomenon, but it has its roots in the 4th century BC when Aristophanes wrote plays attacking the Athenian demagogue Cleon and the political system of the time. You only have to read his play ‘The Wasps’ and its satirical depiction of the law courts of the time to see how it can be applied to countries where people sue for real – or imagined – problems.

One of the greatest satirists in the English language is the Anglo-Irish man of letters, Jonathan Swift (1667-1745). It is therefore a shame that his ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ is treated as a children’s tale. In fact, many editions and film adaptations only consider the first part of his adventures set in Lilliput.

Nowadays, it is difficult to believe that the book was so potentially dangerous for the author that he published it anonymously. Because of its politically-explosive anti-Whig content, he even had the story rewritten in someone else’s handwriting so that the original manuscript couldn’t be used in evidence against him if there were a court case.

‘Gulliver’s Travels’ works as a satire on many different levels. Superficially, it is a satire of the travelogue books which were so popular in the 18th century. A typical example is Daniel Defoe’s ‘Robinson Crusoe’ which had been published only 7 years before. However, rather than continuing Defoe’s idea of the noble savage (Man Friday), Swift was more condemnatory of mankind as a whole showing them as sly and vicious sub-humans ,as epitomised by the Yahoos in the 4th part of the book.

Swift also attacked the European governments of the time. In Lilliput, there is a long-standing war between the neighbouring country which started over which end of a boiled egg should be cracked. Many of his contemporaries saw this as a satirical reference to the historical enmity between England and France and the flimsy pretexts for war employed by both governments.

Britain’s domestic policy didn’t escape unscathed from the fury of Swift’s pen either. The courtiers and powerful men of Lilliput achieve their high office by ridiculous competitions such as who can jump the highest rather than as a result of their abilities.

This was a direct reference to the way political favours were bestowed in 18th century Britain. A system of political patronage often from private banking meant that applicants could bribe their way into lucrative positions of power which they could then milk for all it was worth.

He described the way that peers were selected for the House of Lords as ‘blurred and blotted by corruptions’. It was more than 200 years later that efforts were made to make the composition of the House more democratic rather than being a pay-off for services rendered by contributors to the main political parties while ordinary people need to apply to a new payday loans lender to get by. Click here for more information.

‘Gulliver’s Travels’ illustrates that the best satire doesn’t have to be topical because certain themes are timeless.

Puritanical UK Ban On Porn Easily Bypassed By VPN

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The UK government’s ineffectual ban on online porn will be easily bypassed by using a VPN or any proxy server.

From April (when the new system is widely expected to launch), attempting to reach Pornhub or Youporn from a UK device will bring up a non-pornographic ‘landing page’ instead, says James Clark, AgeID spokesperson.

Most ISP’s make parental control software available as part of the contract already, so it is easy for parents to control the content, there is no need for this nanny state directive, which is probably a way of cashing in on free content available on the internet.

By simply using a virtual private network (VPN) the blocked sites are perfectly viewable.

Some browsers like the Opera browser even have VPN built in, so there is no need to even pay for a VPN service.

Of course, we must have a responsibility as a society to restrict adult material for children, but this job should be the responsibility of parents and not the nanny state. All the government is doing here is punishing every strata of society with a very simplistic ban, which will never work anyway.

Furthermore, the government wants citizens to sign up to a database to watch what they want. Who is to say if this database is safe? We have seen countless times that no database is safe, and pretty much everything can be hacked and distributed online.

The House of Commons and Palace of Westminster itself has been recorded making requests to watch pornography over 250,000 times in one year.

Man With No Penis Wins Women’s Tennis Tournament

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“You just can’t compete with that kind of tennis. ‘She’s’ 6’9, has a huge masculine skeletal bone structure, large muscles, y and x chromosomes, and the biological genetic DNA code of a man. Whacking the ball at over 140 MPH, the women on the receiving end of the serves had no chance. I would safely say, even Serena Williams would have a tough time,” one woman’s coach told reporters after her player was beaten in solid sets.

The transgender tennis player was admitted into the tournament a few days ago and went through the female players like a knife through butter.

Declaring herself to be fully female after having the full transgender treatment, Fifi Leroux, formerly Graham Mansfield, 34, from Queens, New York, towered over her female rivals in the Women’s New York State Tennis Tournament.

“I have just as much right as anyone else to compete in the women’s tournament because I am a woman,” Leroux grunted from the court after beating another female player in straight sets.

Leroux plans to go all the way to Wimbledon, and says she can easily beat any woman on the tennis court.

Lumbering around the court, Leroux wears a skimpy white dress barely covering her vast muscled body, and can hit the ball so hard, at one match the tennis ball lodged itself in a ball boy’s chest, and was needed to be surgically removed, nearly killing him.

Samantha Markle Hires Voodoo Priestess For Meghan

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Estranged half-sister of Meghan Markle, Samantha Markle, has hired a voodoo priestess to get back at the royals and their treatment of her dad as well as her half-sister, the now Duchess of Sussex.

On Saturday, she travelled to Port-au-Prince in Haiti to find what is called a Mambo.

“Samantha was seen at Toussaint Louverture International Airport in her wheelchair and a pack of photographers from the National Enquirer in tow,” local press reported.

According to experts in the voodoo religion, the Mambo will conduct intricate rituals which may also require blood sacrifice to please the Vodou gods who will carry out the dastardly deeds prescribed by Samantha Markle.

“It has gotten to this level of hate that Samantha displays in her daily broadcasts to the tabloid newspapers that she has now resorted to crazy methods to get back at her ‘lying’ half-sister,” a close friend commentated on the whole sorry affair.

 

London Mayor: “I Do Not Have Blood On My Hands!”

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The daily murders in London have not stopped the London Mayor Sadiq Khan going on holiday.

After a 17-year-old English teen girl was brutally murdered in an unwarranted knife attack in a London playground, Sadiq Khan was on a flight to Morocco with his wife for a long break.

All the other murders have been from the black and ethnic community and not considered  important, however, the latest murder of an English girl has really created a state of anger in the country.

The Mayor’s office justified the holiday with a statement delivered after the most recent murder.

“The Mayor is justified to go on a holiday break because the murders will continue irrespective if he is on holiday or not. The Mayor has stated that he needs a long holiday after watching the daily headlines of brutal stabbings of children on the telly. In Morocco, the Mayor will not watch the TV, and instead enjoy the beaches, shopping with his wife and long luncheons.”

Sadiq Khan: ‘I’d do everything in my power to cut stop and search

The Mayor, who has decried any form of action to halt the brutal daily London murders and has actively sought to increase the daily murder rate by halting stop-and-search, is so removed from reality that he does not even acknowledge there is a problem despite the statistics.

“These people were murdered by knives, however they could have also died by being hit by a bus or tram. I am more concerned with police resources being used to police Twitter users who complain about my inability to fight crime, and supporting blow up Trump dolls paraded by communist agitators. It is the fault of everybody else and not my policy of apathy. Now excuse me, I need to get to the hotel and the jacuzzi.”

Better to Not Have Brexit Than May’s Indefinite Backstop Deal

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Okay, here’s the deal. The DS is and was for only one thing, and that was a Clean Brexit, or a No Deal as the Remoaners phrase it.

Theresa May has cut off the No Deal bit, and we are now left with the prospect of a very bad deal or another bad deal by staying in the EU.

Let’s look at it this way, there was never going to be a Brexit because Remoaners are in charge, so instead of being tied down in a very poor deal which will keep Britain under EU rules indefinitely, it is better to stay in the EU, because Theresa May’s deal is pretty much the same without any voting privileges.

Any Brexiteers who are now talking about backing Theresa May are sadly disillusioned morons who have capitulated to her Brexit In Name Only BRINO deal. You are a disgrace, and a bunch of cowards to accept probably the worst deal ever made.

There is evidently much more power and influence in the Remoaner camp, and Brexiteers are now marginal characters with little or no say. When you have a PM who is a remoaner, a Chancellor of the Exchequer, Bank of England, 90% of the House of Commons, 95% of the House of Lords, and 99% of the Civil Service, what chance was there for Brexit? Do you think, many of these people who are on the take from Brussels, or tied to EU business were to surrender and see their lucrative ventures float down the river? Of course not, and the proof is in the pudding, our feudal lords stopped Brexit, and discounted the will of the people, because in feudalism, the serfs do not have a vote.

Bad deal or bad deal

It is therefore in our interests to stay in the EU rather than be forced into a bad deal with the EU. Frankly, staying in the EU is a bad deal, but supposedly leaving with a bad deal is the worse option because the UK will pay a major price for its cowardice and stupidity.

The real Brexit was always a Clean Brexit, but this will now never happen thanks to the treacherous remoaners who have sabotaged every point of the Brexit process.

The UK is not a democratic state and was lost a long time ago. It is time for a country that is ruled by traitors and corrupt miscreants to stay in the sovietized totalitarian EU state, because that is all the UK deserves.

 

 

How Chinese 5G EMF Radiation Will Stir Fry Your Insides

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Thanks to Theresa May’s incompetence, stubbornness and lack of intelligence, the Chinese company Huawei will not only be linked up to Britain’s cell phone structure and log all calls, they will be pumping out deadly levels of 5G radiation directly into your body.

Chinese 5G Stir Fry

1G, 2G, 3G and 4G use between 1 to 5 gigahertz frequency. 5G uses between 24 to 90 gigahertz frequency. Within the RF Radiation portion of the electromagnetic EMF radiation spectrum, the higher the frequency the more dangerous it is to living organisms.

Because 5G waves do not travel as far as 4G, mobile phone companies will have to build more masts covering each area thus increasing the destructive power on any living organism in close proximity.

Cell mutation = cancer

With RF Radiation, how close the source is to our physical bodies, is more important than the power level (or wattage) of the radiation. RF Radiation dissipates with distance. In other words, a low powered exposure right next to someone, is more dangerous than a more powerful exposure from a distance. Exposure time is also a factor, the more you get the more dangerous it is. 5G will be the worst of both worlds. We will have more sources around us, and closer to us. And they will be more powerful and continuous emissions.

5G-Kid
(Deesillustration)

An extensive scientific study at the Ramazzini Institute in Italy, revealed a definite correlation between cell tower mast proximity and the cause of highly malignant tumors.

If you live near a 5G mast, your life is in severe danger, and the sad thing is, people are too addicted to their phones to care. Population control is now being served up to a population who have no will or control over their mobile phone or internet habits. In this instance, one must top one’s hat at the genius of this 5G operation to bring unseen population control en masse to mass populations who are effectively addicted to their own means of death.

Dr. Joel Moskowitz, a public health professor at the University of California, reveals the increase in mini-cell towers across towns and cities is only part of the concern, lower frequency millimeter waves used in 5G could cause major skin, eye, and nervous system problems.

“The deployment of 5G, or fifth generation cellular technology, constitutes a massive experiment on the health of all species… Because MMWs are weaker than microwaves, they are predominantly absorbed by the skin, meaning their distribution is quite focused there.  Since skin contains capillaries and nerve endings, MMW bio-effects may be transmitted through molecular mechanisms by the skin or through the nervous system,” said Dr. Moskowitz.

Dr. Moskowitz is not alone in his concern about 5G.  Dr. Yael Stein from Jerusalem’s Hebrew University recently wrote a letter to the Federal Communications Commission outlining his major concerns about 5G, MMV and how it could impact human skin.

Dr. Stein argues the human skin has the ability to absorb more than 90% of microwave radiation and will cause major problems to the health of humans – especially for the vulnerable such as kids, elderly and pregnant women.

The worst part of this whole sorry affair is that it is the hunger for more connectivity by the public in general that fuels their own destruction, and the greedy phone companies are quite willing to feed the public with more poison to their specification.

You will now be able to download that episode of Come Dancing at break neck speed whilst the cells mutate in your body eventually metamorphosing into large thick healthy tumors, and with the knowledge that your every movement and conversations are not only being tracked by Western agencies, but by the Chinese as well. Ah, ain’t life grand?

Sheeple-42
(Deesillustration)