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Ghislaine Maxwell Will Recruit Harem of Female Prisoners

Lil Gonad
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Ghislaine Maxwell Will Recruit Harem of Female Prisoners

Having been jailed for twenty years for her role in the Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking scandal, Ghislaine Maxwell has vowed to continue her trade in prison.

Disneyland of pu$$y

Danbury Federal Correctional Institution in Connecticut where Maxwell will be moved will be a Disneyland of young women to exploit and enjoy for the former Epstein protégé.

“I just can’t help recruiting sex slaves for my own needs. There are many vulnerable women in prison, and as always I will capitalise on their vulnerability by offering them an initial shoulder to cry on. Once they are ensnared in my trap, the rest is history. They will do my chores, get me things I need, and of course service my needy pussy,” Maxwell excitedly revealed after sentencing was completed.

With good behaviour and of course greasing the guards a little, Maxwell should be out of jail in about 8-11 years time.

There are no carpets in female prisons but plenty of carpet munching.

 

Harry and Meghan Back to Oprah For Another Tell-All Show

Lil Gonad
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Harry and Meghan Back to Oprah For Another Tell-All Show

The Sussexes are planning a new tell-all show with Oprah helped along by their activist actress friend Janina Gavankar. Gavankar who is half-Indian is guiding the couple, specifically Meghan on what to say and how to act during the performance.

Seen being driven by Harry, Oprah’s house is only a three-minute walk from the couple’s Montecito mansion, but in the interests of climate change it was deemed improper to walk but instead use a convoy of gas guzzling SUVs to make the short journey.

Naturally, for extra effect the couple called every photographer from LA to Alaska to cover the short trip in order to fuel more fear in Britain’s royal palaces.

harry meghan oprah

Harry and Meghan are devout climate change activists who travel regularly in private jets that emit large amounts of carbon emissions into the atmosphere. Their most recent trip was on a Bombardier Global 6000 at a cost of $200,000 from the UK to the US.

Ding Ding Round Two

Industry insiders reveal that the latest meeting with Oprah is a plan to seal the charges of ‘racism’ against the royal family and reveal details about the alleged appalling treatment the couple received during their UK visit.

Meghan Markle who cut off her own father for talking to the press, has no qualms about manipulating the media and press herself for her own ends.

“The plan is very simple. It’s basically round two with auntie Oprah. Forget about Netflix, for the couple, live television is where it’s at, and the couple have put Netflix on hold forever. For the Duke and Duchess Netflix was just a way to get some quick cash off the chump executives promising them the world whilst delivering only crumbs. Obviously the naive Netflix execs were duped and fell for the ruse hook line and sinker. Now Oprah is the one they really want to deliver the juice to, and the others they will throw a few bits of junk just to shut them up,” a KRC PR Media exec from LA revealed.

There are numerous PR teams and media companies working with the Sussexes to not only elevate their standing but to denigrate and ruin the British  royal family.

“On Meghan’s orders Harry is doing his best to finalise the public shaming of the royal house of Windsor. The two were not going to Oprah’s house for an organic self-sustainable cup of fucking coffee. They were going to pitch the dirt, to plan their next move so that they will once again steal the limelight from Windsor and cause as much damage as they possibly can.”

CBS executives have been clamouring for an update for some time now, and this latest trip to Britain by the former working royals has picked up enough dirt to evaluate a precise plan of action.

The alleged bullying case against Meghan when she was in Britain was recently curtailed by the royal family on the orders of the Queen herself, as a sign of good will however it was not enough for Meghan and Harry who seek a full apology for their interpretation of how they were treated by the royals.

When the couple were booed on their return to Britain and sidelined, further animosity was created polarising the factions further.

The couple also stand to make an even larger financial splash when the second interview with Oprah is aired in December.

“This will make Netflix look like complete idiots,” another commentator revealed on Twitter.

Wimbledon: Serena Williams Shock Loss to Harmony Tan

Lil Gonad
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Wimbledon: Serena Williams Shock Loss to Harmony Tan

Serena Williams lost in three sets to Harmony Tan on her return to grand-slam tennis on a memorable day for British players at Wimbledon.

Tan who is ranked at world No 115 is only 4’3″ and was no match for Williams’ superior strength but still prevailed.

Williams’ dramatic deciding-set tie-break defeat to French world number 115 Harmony Tan concluded the Centre Court action, which started with Iga Swiatek winning her 36th consecutive match – breaking the 21st century record set by Venus Williams in 2000 – and was followed by Rafael Nadal winning in four sets.

In her press conferences after the defeat, Williams insisted that she has no idea exactly how long she intends to continue competing in tennis championships.

The second-day events in SW19 were certainly spectacular, with some real surprises.

Ukrainian Army Braces Itself For the Russian Blob

Lil Gonad
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Ukrainian Army Braces Itself For the Russian Blob

In desperation, Russian tyrant Vladimir Putin is digging up retired military personnel and top brass, including “The Blob” otherwise known as General Pavel.

An amiable chap who ingests over 10 meals a day and 14 bottles of vodka, Pavel is to be sent to the front lines in Ukraine where many generals have already perished.

One Russian military attaché was adamant that Pavel would make a difference in the campaign to destroy Ukraine.

“General Pavel, we call “The Blob” he only has to stick his fat arse out of an APC and fart destroying entire blocks of cities in one go. He is our secret weapon we have been hiding for so long, and now is the time to bring him out. Ukraine is finished. His asshole is equivalent to five Tsar Bombas!”

Unfortunately, there are going to be setbacks for the Russians by deploying this gargantuan vodka churning fat fuck into the battlefields of Ukraine.

“We cannot fit General Pavel into any military vehicles. He is too large to be carried in any aircraft, or land craft. He will thus be stationed in a secret underground bunker with plenty of food supplies somewhere near the border.”

General Pavel is renowned for once eating an entire flock of goats in one sitting whilst doing his tour in Afghanistan during the 1980s. He is also so fat that he needs a team of Russian conscripts to wipe his arse after every shit. To be put on toilet duty for General Pavel is known as a great honour for Russian soldiers.

The Ukrainian soldiers on the other hand are welcoming the arrival of General Pavel to the war zone.

“If he goes for a walk, we can pinpoint his location from space. He is such a big target that we cannot possibly miss.”

Good luck General Pavel — you will need it.

When the Religious Nutters Get Hold of the Asylum

Lil Gonad
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When the Religious Nutters Get Hold of the Asylum

It’s bad enough when the far-left censoring Marxist woke mob are in charge brainwashing the weak feeble minded sheeple, but conversely the far-right religious nutcases who actually interpret their bible word for word are just as bad as the far-leftists.

It’s the extremities that cause problems, and this could also apply to eco-zealots who superglue their buttocks to busy motorways.

Extremists of all political and religious ideologies are the same in many ways, and are equally as dangerous as each other simply because they fracture societies.

The National Socialists of Germany in the 1930s and 40s were a rare example of their political ideology uniting a nation as one before propelling it into war, then certain destruction. The American extremist movements on the left and right may seize power at different times but there is no unity as a nation, instead they cause more fractures with further polarisation.

Yes, this is simplified and does not address all variables such as the fight between the National Socialist Nazis and the Bolshevik Communists during the 20s and 30s, but the general gist of it is that extremes are not good in any situation.

This is why it is almost inevitable that America will endure another civil war at some point in the near future. However, because of the level of polarisation of the nation even a civil war will not be sufficient to alleviate the discontent. Maybe seceding certain portions of the nation would be a solution to the entire problem.

One area for the religious zealots and Republicans, and another for the Marxist, progressive former liberals. There could even be segregated zones for African Americans and another for Hispanics etc,.

American Supreme Court to Ban Sodomy and Buggery Next

Lil Gonad
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American Supreme Court to Ban Sodomy and Buggery Next

Next on the agenda for the US Supreme Court is to ban the act of sodomy and buggery.

Sodomy (/ˈsɒdəmi/) or buggery (British English) is generally anal or oral sex between people, or sexual activity between a person and a non-human animal (bestiality), but it may also mean any non-procreative sexual activity.

If the Supreme Court succeeds in banning sodomy, then half of the American population could be criminalised for their daily actions.

One gay man in San Francisco was outraged at the mere mention of banning something he enjoys doing with multiple men every day.

“First they ban abortions on womb-carriers, and now they are messing with my right to have huge members slamming my prolapsed anus daily. What we do is not unnatural, as they say.  The male ass was designed for gay sex, and not what they say designed for poop to come out of it!” Dirk Shurtlyfter, 43, revealed to local news stations.

Gay marriage as well as buggery could thus be deemed as a crime in most American states, and this would mean all of Barack Obama’s work during his term would be undone. Obama worked very hard during his tenure to promote and indoctrinate American society in homosexuality, but it seems the Supreme Court judges are planning to repeal his ambitious work.

This means LGBTQP rights in America could be revoked and cause many homosexuals to be arrested if caught committing sodomy. This decision could infringe on many freedoms for Americans, as the state should not get involved if people want to commit these acts in the privacy of their own homes.

The world has to prepare for more unrest in America as many gay people will fight for their rights as the Supreme Court rules against sodomy and gay marriage.

Japan recently ruled against gay marriage and with a declining population there may be good reason for that, as well as keeping with traditional values.

 

American Womb-Carriers Upset Over Roe v Wade Abortion Ruling

Lil Gonad
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American Womb-Carriers Upset Over Roe v Wade Abortion Ruling

The new leftist woke term for women is ‘womb-carriers’ and many are upset about a court ruling banning abortion in multiple US states. Some call it the revenge of Donald Trump, but at the end of the day, this ruling shows how polarised American society is at the moment.

womb carriers

Beyond satire

If the radical woke Marxist communists now call women ‘womb-carriers’ what do they call men? Possibly ‘cock and balls swaggerers’ or maybe ‘scrotum-swingers’ which sounds very ominous indeed. If George Orwell were alive today, he would not believe this shit even if he saw it with his own fucking eyeballs.

Black Lives Matter should be rejoicing because the abortion ban will mean more black kids will be born instead of aborted. One would think they would applaud this court ruling, seeing as 70% of abortions in America are committed by African Americans.

The disgusting riot police were tear-gassing womb-carriers in the streets of multiple Democrat cities last night. This is all a terrible mistake, surely. The state interfering with women is surely a sign of state sanctioned overreach?

Dearest womb-carriers of America, if you don’t want kids there is an extremely simple set of solutions: 1) Stop fucking 2) Get the man to wear a rubber 3) Get sterilized. Simples!

Remoaner SNP Lib Dem and Labour Band Together to Win By-elections

Lil Gonad
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0
Remoaner SNP Lib Dem and Labour Band Together to Win By-elections

Losing a number of by-elections, Boris Johnson’s Conservative party is now on the back foot. Labour has reclaimed the seat of Wakefield from the Tories with a majority of 4,925 votes after securing a massive 48 percent of the vote. Meanwhile, the Liberal Democrats have been declared the winners of the by-election in Tiverton and Honiton, overturning the Tories

There is a concerted effort now bigger than any other threat against Boris to oust him as PM, and to reverse Brexit. Remainers egged on by their EU masters are banding together to lend each other tactical votes. Labour and the Lib Dems are now one body working for the EU to oust Boris Johnson and the Tories.

The cost of living crisis is not playing well to many voters, and unfortunately Boris is under pressure not only from the gang of remainers but from within his own party which has a huge number of EU agents.

Speaking from Rwanda, Boris Johnson was humble on news of the by-election defeat for the Conservatives, but being so far away from home may also harm his cause.

The EU has been working tooth and nail to oust Boris, and using their useful idiot slaves in the UK like the SNP, Lib Dems, and Labour are coming to fruition.

If Boris goes, who will take over the Brexit mantle, or conversely rescind Brexit?

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of CGI

Lil Gonad
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0
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of CGI

This film is rather hard to watch. It basically involves so much CGI flitting around the screen, bits coming in, mashed up bits going around and more CGI projectile vomiting everywhere that it makes you feel physically sick. One eyed CGI octopi running up buildings, one feels like they are having an apoplectic seizure watching this shit.

Amongst the nonsensical multiverse CGI festival of fakery, the audience is transported into a multi zone of computer generated psychopathy. Maybe the CIA could use this film to break down Russian agents who plan to cause mayhem on American soil or some other type of dastardly treachery.

Not sure if it was the frequency of the CGI images slapping around the screen much like a pinball dipped in liquid PCP, but reviewing this film was almost impossible. I fell asleep three quarters of the way in.

Apologies to Sam Raimi, but since the dawn of CGI, he might as well not attempt to direct any form of film ever again. Just let the AI and whacky, fake-looking CGI do it. The low budget of Evil Dead brought out so much creativity without any CGI. It seems huge budget CGI overuse in modern films kills creativity, the plot and the entire film.

Another African American Rapper Shot

Lil Gonad
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0
Another African American Rapper Shot

The life expectancy of an average African American rapper these days is about 21 years, according to a new study.

Welcome to the new plantation, this time blacks give their lives to a rap industry that chews these naive fuckers up like bubblegum spitting them out like chewed pieces of gristle. Rap labels may seem black, but look up the chain of distribution and royalties and you will find white conglomerates running the show.

Just last week, 31 rappers were shot dead in Chicago alone. Rappers like Lil Toe’rag, Masta Bater, Dumb Shizzo, Phat Grillz, SmellS Baum, Winkz Jnr., lx7r-u, Pop Choker, Jigz Lamont and of course the almighty Helmet Cheeze IV Esq.

Corporate slaves

“We call them ghetto fodder, use them until they’re either shot dead or die from drugs or AIDS. If one of these rappers die, it’s just as good as having them slave away for us doing their stupid nonsense jibber jabber shows. We actually make more revenue off them when these pieces of narcissistic egotistical, untalented ghetto shits die. They’re rapping about being gangsters and highfalutin big boyz, but everything’s out on loan in their videos. Even that fat lipped toad Jay Z who thinks he is some kind of record boss answers to us. Without our structures, these nonsense dribbling putrid moronic dunces would all be rapping on the street corner to a crowd of pigeons,” one conglomerate staff member commented.

The word is: keep dying rappers, keep getting shot, keep shooting yourselves because at the end of the day you’re still part of the same plantation as before. No mo’ cotton — just bullets and bullshit records this time round.

Slavery never ended, it seems…

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