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Osborne Wants to Introduce Tax on Austerity
LONDON - England - The Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, wants to introduce a taxation on his austerity drive, he announced today in parliament. ... Full story
Dutch Scientists Create Artificial Meat But Fast Food Joints Say They Created it First
MAASTRICHT - Netherlands - Dutch scientists claim to have grown artificial meat in a test tube for the very first time, but fast food restaurants say they have been doing it for years. ... Full story
New Tesco Value Jobseeker's Allowance is Bestseller
CHESHUNT - England - The Tesco Value Brand has a new product that is flying off the shelves, especially for unemployed Britons all over the country. ... Full story
Sean Penn Wants U.S. to Give Hawaii Back to Polynesians
LOS ANGELES - USA - Activist actor, Sean Penn, wants to use his $150 million personal fortune to give back Hawaii to the indigenous populations. ... Full story
Obama: "Why American Civilians Should Not Be Armed"
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The time has come for Americans to finally grow out of their obsession with firearms, and Obama's second term will ensure that he completes his mission to disarm America and make it into a 'safer' place. ... Full story
Argentine President Kirchner Wants to Make Falkland Islands Into Plastic Surgery Centre
BUENOS AIRES - Argentina - Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, Argentina's president, is so addicted to plastic surgery and botox treatments that the Falkland Islands are in danger of being made into an Argentinian plastic surgery centre. ... Full story
Henry Kissinger to Get Job Writing For Daily Squib
LONDON - England - Former Nixon-era Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, is dropping everything in his Connecticut ranch to fly over to Britain and start a new life as a writer on our illustrious paper. ... Full story
New Four Year Degree Course on 'Crushing Student Debt'
LEEDS - England - The latest degree course that is proving increasingly popular with students is the four year 'Student Debt' course at the University of Dolequeue. ... Full story
India to Give Britain Financial Aid
NEW DELHI - India - The Indian finance minister, Pranab Mukherjee, has revealed that his country will give aid to the UK for the very first time in the country's history. ... Full story
Bigfoot Only Has One Foot Witness Claims
BLUFFS CREEK - USA - Ecologist and witness to Bigfoot, Robert Ortega, claims that he witnessed Bigfoot hopping through some undergrowth while he was conducting research for another project. ... Full story