17.7 C
London
Thursday, July 16, 2026
secret satire society
HomeSportsWhy England Lost Again in the World Cup

Why England Lost Again in the World Cup

ATLANTA - USA - England lost again to Argentina during the semi-final match. The hurt goes on.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

Yep, the inevitable happened, as always is the case at the last hurdle — England lost! We’re not going to go down the analysis rabbit hole, but the first half of the game was a joke for both teams; not one attempt at goal was made by both teams. Second half — England scored a single goal early, then went into fucking defence mode. What the fuck were they doing? They basically invited Argentina to the England goal zone. The key to winning games is to keep pushing forward and scoring fucking goals. The best defence is offence! So, who told the England team to score one piffling goal and then rest on their laurels for the entire rest of the match? The manager? The captain? They all messed up big time. For the rest of the match, England was under siege, and the trebuchets were out by the Argentinians, who have that South American flair and boldness with daring long-distance shots from out of the box. This is something European teams very rarely do, apart from mainly the Italians, who haven’t even qualified since 2018; their last appearance in a World Cup knockout match remains their 2006 tournament victory. Messi, supposedly the best player in the world at one time, is 39, so he is getting sluggish but created some great setups, one of which led to the final deciding goal by Lautaro Martinez. The last goal by Argentina at about 93 minutes was the clincher and woke the sleeping England players up, but it was too fucking late. Nine minutes of extra time went with the usual time-wasting with kicking the ball high or to touch and a coterie of desperate England players scrambling around the pitch like fucking ants. The End.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  •  
    ai

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here


    - Advertisment -journalism satire

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

    KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH