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Giggling Penalty Losers Laugh at Racist England Fans on Private Jet

TURKS AND CAICOS - While most England fans are still in serious pain, two of the penalty losers were celebrating on a private jet to a luxury resort.

England Fan Filmed Snorting Cocaine Then Sticking a Flare Up His...

LONDON - England - The England fan who stuck a red flare up his arse during the Euro 2020 tournament will be immortalised with a Madame Tussauds wax statue.

Man Suddenly Becomes Superstitious Before Next England Game

ESSEX - England - An England fan has suddenly become very superstitious before the final Euro match against Italy.

Have England Signed Death Sentence For Colombian Players After Penalty Win?

MOSCOW - Russia - The England team cleared out a twenty year drought of winning penalty shootouts, by actually winning a penalty shootout against Colombia last night.

World Cup 2018 Russian Festival of Brutal Violence a Death Sentence

MOSCOW - Russia - The upcoming World Cup will be a serious test for England fans as the Russian Ultras have been training hard all year round for this event.

England Football Team Prepare For Russian World Cup

MOSCOW - Russia - The World Cup 2018 is set to be a real test for the England squad when they have to play in Hazmat chemical suits.

Scots Demand Independence From Watching England Play Football

SAO PAOLO - Brazil - No doubt Scottish fans gain a great deal of pleasure from seeing England lose in the World Cup but there's always another nagging thought in the back of their heads.

England Fans Embracing Italian Culture by Eating Pizza

SAO PAOLO - Brazil - Last night's lacklustre performance by England leaves the team hanging by a spaghetti noodle for an unsavoury exit if Italy does not win the next two matches.

Phil Neville to Get Personality Implant Says BBC

SAO PAOLO - Brazil - The BBC's new football commentator, Phil Neville, is so boring and monotone that many people are either going to sleep or switching off the sound on their tellies news reports claim.

Fortune Teller Sees England World Cup Results

LONDON - England - A fortune teller has seen the result for England's attempt at the World Cup.

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