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TURKS AND CAICOS - While most England fans are still in serious pain, two of the penalty losers were celebrating on a private jet to a luxury resort.
LONDON - England - The England fan who stuck a red flare up his arse during the Euro 2020 tournament will be immortalised with a Madame Tussauds wax statue.
ESSEX - England - An England fan has suddenly become very superstitious before the final Euro match against Italy.
MOSCOW - Russia - The England team cleared out a twenty year drought of winning penalty shootouts, by actually winning a penalty shootout against Colombia last night.
MOSCOW - Russia - The upcoming World Cup will be a serious test for England fans as the Russian Ultras have been training hard all year round for this event.
MOSCOW - Russia - The World Cup 2018 is set to be a real test for the England squad when they have to play in Hazmat chemical suits.
SAO PAOLO - Brazil - No doubt Scottish fans gain a great deal of pleasure from seeing England lose in the World Cup but there's always another nagging thought in the back of their heads.
SAO PAOLO - Brazil - Last night's lacklustre performance by England leaves the team hanging by a spaghetti noodle for an unsavoury exit if Italy does not win the next two matches.
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