Scots Demand Independence From Watching England Play Football

SAO PAOLO - Brazil - No doubt Scottish fans gain a great deal of pleasure from seeing England lose in the World Cup but there's always another nagging thought in the back of their heads.

Scottish football fans have demanded independence from the indignity of watching England play football on the World Cup stage when they could do a little better, the fans claim.

“I’s nae ‘at we dornt enjoy watchin’ th’ Englain┬áscunners lose aw th’ time, but it’s th’ thooght ‘at if uir team hud qualified we coods hae dain a loat better than them glaikit bampots,” a Scottish fan said in the Uruguay crowd.

Scottish Nationalist leader, Alex Salmond has backed up the Scottish football fan concerns by vowing to increase funding for national teams if the country wins independence in September.