Britons Awaiting Interest Rate Rises With Eager Anticipation

SCUNTHORPE - England - The booming UK economy is doing so well during the great depression that interest rate hikes will soon ensure another deep recession.

With credit cards stuffed up to the hilt; people mortgaged up to the eyeballs and salary growth at a minus percentage, Britons are eagerly waiting for interest rates to rise to 3% soon.

“I’m eager to see interest rate rises, because I have seven maxed out credit cards, a large mortgage and my job position has not seen a pay rise in five years. Almost overnight I will have to find an extra £3,800 per month, and will no doubt be seeing the bailiffs soon after. It’s that economic recovery innit?” Bill Noughty, a salesman from Essex told the Mirror.

Because of the amazing ‘economic recovery’ that only a few people in the UK saw, interest rate rises will ensure carnage in most homes which are already pushed beyond the limits of their finances.

Britain has one of the highest levels of consumer debt per capita in Europe and the recent property initiative called Help to Buy has ensured an artificial property boom keeps progressing to its unholy end.

“I have been borrowing and borrowing for the last few years on low interest rates. Banks and credit card companies were literally throwing money at me. When the interest rates suddenly rise I will not be able to pay anything back, but that’s okay, because I don’t have anything anyway and have spent it all. It’s good for the economy,” an unemployed man from Birmingham revealed.