Xi Jinping Congratulates Trump on Contracting Chinese Virus

BEIJING - China - President Xi Jinping has congratulated Donald Trump on contracting the deadly Chinese Virus.

xi jinping chinese virus
The Chinese Virus - a job well done.

“It was made in China, and sent with love to all Americans, including you Mr. President, we hope you enjoy our Chinese Virus, made especially for you,” the Chinese premier Xi Jinping reportedly said on the call to Donald Trump on Friday.

The Democrats meanwhile were loving every moment as well, and seeing this as a sure-fire win for the coming November election, and was a certain ‘I told you so’ moment.

Whilst the USA has clocked up over 200,000 Covid-19 related deaths, China has miraculously only reported 4,634 deaths since January. If anyone were to believe the Chinese death figures, they might also believe that the moon is made from the finest French Brie.

If Trump, who is overweight, over 70, and in the vulnerable bracket, becomes severely sick and dies, he will effectively have been assassinated remotely by the Chinese Virus. It will be quite a coup for China, assassinating a U.S. President without a single shot being fired.

Trump who was an anti-masker and played down the Chinese Virus on many occasions is now getting a dose of reality, as he may be faced with a fight for his life despite having the world’s best medical care at hand.

Metabolic syndrome

“Doesn’t matter what kind of qualified doctors you got on hand, once those tentacles catch a hold of those Ace2 receptors and spread throughout the body, spread to the lungs, spread to the heart and even the brain it’s all over. Even if you survive the initial illness, there are long-term neurological problems that can present themselves at future dates. Trump is currently diagnosed with metabolic syndrome, suffering from abdominal obesity, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, high serum triglycerides, and low serum high-density lipoprotein. In this respect, he is at high risk of becoming very sick from Covid-19, with a high morbidity probability,” one medical practitioner revealed.

Alternatively, Trump is the Teflon Don, and may actually be a good time to bow out for a while, because recently he has been getting a little over exposure, and that’s not so good for any campaign. The Teflon Don don’t get sick, and the Chinese Virus could be brushed off like a common cold.

It’s a roll of the dice, we could see Trump back on the campaign trail in two weeks, or he could be stuck in an ICU unit for months on a ventilator. Mike Pence is on standby as the VP, if the worst happens, and the show will go on.