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President Obama Detained in Ferguson Missouri

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“The president was touring the area when he went into a shop and did not pay for items he put in his pockets. President Obama is accustomed to not paying for anything on his rounds and thought nothing of it, as it is his usual practice. The Ferguson police force have stepped over the line here, and we’s gonna send in Michelle Obama to kick some cop azz,” White House press secretary, Sharonda Tanquilla, revealed Sunday.

A spokesman for the Ferguson police department made a statement firing back at the White House today: “Police officers apprehended a black male looting an area shop selling golf products. The suspect claimed to be the president of the United States. We are conducting further inquiries as the suspect also seemed to be in possession of fraudulent ID papers and will get back to you in due course. Thank you for your cooperation.”

Time to Forget: Future Humans Will Not Have Memory

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“We are seeing glimpses of what is to come with companies like Google, enforced by the EU, erasing history on the internet. In the future much of the past will be erased from all knowledge as humans will be wired into the hybrid hive mind of instant recall of facts, scientific as well as entertainment. The future internet will thus be one of total control, where the hive mind will only exist in the present.

“It serves no purpose for the drones to dwell on such curiosities as historical occurrences that reveal how people were treated over history. This only creates anger and resentment, it is better for the population to exist in a state of complete ignorance to the past.

“The ones who control all policy will most probably extend their censorship to past artistic works, poetry, literature, music, philosophy and political ideology. Simply speaking, the new order will need to be cleansed of anything that promotes free thought, introspection, cojutation. All it takes for prospective unrest is an idea, a spark, a belief, and this concept whatever it may be can spread like wildfire creating untold damage to the heavily controlled system.

“Religion falls under the strand of political ideology. In a one world system, there can only be one religion, and that will be the singular order, all other previous religions will be erased from the system completely, as will all other political ideologies. Within human existence, it is destructive to have more than one faction, it creates disharmony and conflict.

“Those in the future, will not know the past, those in the past will be dead, therefore one epoch dies and another arises. The children of the future will be so pliable, that they will be taught that snow is black and believe it without question. When referencing populations, we are disregarding the governing class, who will be aware of slightly more than the rest of the population.

“What is consciousness to many is sleep to others. And it is in this vain that memories will be wiped of the past, as the digital history books will be erased from public consumption. Generations that pass, are always good erasers, but generations are also good formers, this way new ideas and techniques can be introduced and carried on, the brainwashing continuing in perpetual exponential momentum, clinically forming public consciousness through the use of technique.

“The digital world is one of copy and paste, one of instantaneous deletion, and creation at the speed of light. You will not be aware, and you will not be an individual, as the maelstrom of collective control sweeps across the big brain, as you read this now, you will not realise that as part of the herd, you are being shepherded every single day of your existence from birth to death, and to that end you are not in control of your original human essence any more, your first thoughts as a child lost their initial innocent purity and were formed by others, and as an adult, there are many layers of washing through your behavioural cognitive world view. The internet serves this purpose very well, as it remodels world views in a single digital sweep.

“Thus in conclusion, memory of past history is the enemy that could destroy the next era to come, it will be erased completely, lobotomised, so that the remaining humans do not repeat the same transgressions of the past. The saying goes ‘those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it’ well that quote will not apply to the future, because the past will be digital and that can be erased with one press of a button.”

Obama: Cops Need to be Disarmed No More Guns

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President Obama has made another anti-gun speech from Martha’s Vineyard where he is having an extended vacation.

“Guns kill people. This is why I want U.S police forces to be disarmed effective from January 2015. In the light of some cops shooting unarmed innocent children, especially the African American ones, all precincts across the United States will be told to hand in their weapons. Instead of deadly force, police forces will be told to utilise talking down techniques or reasonable force by using truncheons and their bare hands to make arrests. We must look to Great Britain, where the police are very effective in their jobs without guns. The UK model of no deadly arrest is what I am seeking for the U.S. God bless America.”

The peaceful president is also seeking to disarm U.S. military forces in 2015 citing that wars are not a good enough reason to carry guns.

“I have my deputies, Feinstein and Holder, as well as the media networks working on disarming the U.S. Military and police force. If we put our guns down, then the criminals and armies who want to make war on us will put their guns down too. Here’s to a peaceful world unarmed and less dangerous to live in. For the sake of our children, and our children’s children, no more black thugs will be shot, no more shoplifters, looters, robbers and crazed drug gang dealers. We need to love crime, only by loving criminals and invading armies, will my plan work.”

ACTION POINTS 2015:

1) Disarm all police forces in America

2) Disarm all U.S. Army/Navy/Air Force

3) All other agencies will be told to disarm including Homeland Security.

4) Education programs rolled out across world for mass disarmament, including Middle East and Russia

5) Open U.S. borders from all areas and amnesty for all illegal aliens and terrorists

6) All prisons across the U.S. to open their doors for prison amnesty on Freedom Day

Ferguson Riots: EBT Plantation Workers Restless

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The Ferguson riots in Missouri have taken their toll on the plantation owners and responsible employees.

“We’s got the ‘young people’ working the EBT fields, and still they keep saying gibbs me mo dat. They be pickin’ EBT all day and night, but there’s some unrest in the plantation fields and the massa got to get the county sheriff onto this one. Sometimes theys gotta shoot one yes, he was going for the foreman, so theys shot that ‘young people’ fella, otherwise he would have hurts the foreman. Nuttin’ seems to placate the EBT plantation workers any mo, free money, Obamaphones, free Obamacare, free housing? Shiiet, dunno any mo?” Larcenus Ojay, the house boy of the plantation master’s household told local Missouri news services.

Scotland Referendum: Salmond Reveals Plan B

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“I am about to reveal my Plan B for Scotland. Please sit down as this may be too much for you, if you are standing, you may need to hold onto something else. Okay, here goes. Ready? Plan A, and Plan B, is that I’m a plant. Yes, you heard that right, I am here to botch up an opportunity for Scottish Independence, and the few people who are following me are too stupid to realise it. I have been sworn in as someone who will ensure that Scotland stays in Britain, but I was told to make it look realistic. As anyone who knows how things really work, you may have noticed what I am doing, but the majority have no clue. I will get a special hand shake at the end of the referendum, and possibly a nice little monetary package for a job well done. Anyways me scunners, it’s back to work to convince more people to stay in the Union, shhh, hush hush,” SNP leader, Alex Salmond told a group of Yes No Maybe voters on Sunday.

Looks like it really is Plan B for the Scotland Referendum…or maybe just a dress rehearsal for the UK EU Referendum which will probably never take place.

Tony Blair: “No Matter How Many Times I Wash My Hands..”

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“No matter how many times I wash my hands daily I cannot seem to clean my hands. I have used pretty much every brand of soap from here to Kathmandu and still nothing works. Does anyone know of a soap manufacturer that makes proper soap any more?” a visibly angry Tony Blair said at a recent book signing event.

Mr Blair’s long suffering wife, Cherie, has also remarked about the ongoing soap problem.

“I can’t take it any more, which ever one of our mansions we go to, the stains are all over the walls, the carpets and bed sheets. The blood drips into your cornflakes in the morning, try putting sugar into your tea with blood dripping every where, we had the vicar around the other day. I keep telling Tony to wash his hands, he goes and does it then comes back even bloodier than before.”

If anyone has a solution to Mr Blair’s problem please send your answers  on a postcard to : Tony Blair Blood on Hands Problem Comp, P.O. Box 666, Money Street, WC1 D62 The person with the best idea will get a bar of soap and a smack across the chops.

Ebola Tombola Raffle Big Hit in Africa

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The Ebola Tombola event at Ngiru town was eventful this year with many participants getting winning tickets.

Big Prizes

“I bought a ticket last year and didn’t win a thing, but this year I got a big prize, it’s called Ebola. I don’t know what that is because I’m illiterate but the medics are treating me real nice,” Aguro Mbeki, 45, said from his hospital bed in Freetown.

1st Prize: Ebola

2nd Prize: Ebola

3rd Prize: Ebola

No Winning Ticket: Ebola

Everyone’s a Winner

Many Ebola Tombola raffle winners are ecstatic with their prizes as it livens up their otherwise dull lives.

“You know, it’s like Russian Roulette, it’s exciting, puts a zing in your step. This Ebola Tombola event has got the whole population excited, so we thought why not bring it to the rest of the world? You can play on aeroplanes, airports and even in the customs checkpoint at the venue of your choosing,” event organiser, Ongogo Mellalologoogoo, from Sierra Leon told the BBC.

Coming to a quaint cucumber sandwich munching English country fair near you, Ebola Tombola, be sure to buy your tickets soon before they all run out.

Experts: Why Islamic Militants Can Never Win Totally

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It’s called an air force, if you don’t have one you’re at the mercy of anyone who has one, and this is the main reason why Islamic militants can never win over nations that have an air force, or drone force.

The effectiveness of an air force can be seen in the Israeli Air Force (IAF) which recently flattened large portions of the Gaza strip.

Hamas may have had the bravado to go up against such a force, but they unleashed a torrent of smart missiles upon themselves and the poor civilians caught in the cross fire.

ISIS in Iraq are a similar story; they may be adept at land incursions but they do not have drones or aircraft, therefore they are impotent in the face of superior forces with air support. Naturally, as in Gaza there would be terrible civilian casualties, but if the civilians have not fled that area already then it’s a problem they will have to incur.

As ISIS moves towards Baghdad, the faltering U.S. president may have to act somewhere along the line, as much as it is against his grain to act decisively, his generals must be barking in his ear that the time to act is now.

The only thing stopping America is its balance sheet. Each missile fired costs over a quarter of a million dollars. With an economy near bankruptcy, can the U.S. afford to fire off millions of dollars they do not have?

Further variables exist with any air campaign, without ground forces present mapping out targets, the air force would be shooting blind. No doubt there must be some intelligence on Iraqi soil right now, but is it enough? All ISIS would have to do is dig in and wait for the air threat to subside before resuming operations.

Unless ISIS militants suddenly acquire F16s and Apache gunfighters, as well as read up a few manuals in a few hours, they would be sitting ducks to any air onslaught.

The decision is yours Mr. President.

Think Tank: If Governments Actually Cared Would Shut All Borders Immediately

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If globalisation means open borders, then be prepared to fight for you and your family’s life during an inevitable breakout of deadly viruses.

“Open borders means free movement of disease, viruses and also is an aid to mutation of different viral pathogens. Closed borders means protection of citizens during an outbreak,” a think tank from Britain has revealed in a new paper.

“By keeping borders open governments in the West are wilfully endangering their populations in the name of globalisation and this is why individuals who are aware of this must prepare themselves and not rely on governments in the event of an inevitable crisis.

africa

“In the event of a pandemic, there will not be much response from governments, who will only protect their hierarchy, therefore the ordinary citizen must ensure they have the necessary supplies to survive a prolonged period of pandemic in isolation.

“Supermarkets will be devoid of goods, banks will not dispense money and hospitals will be out of bounds. You must also assume that the water supply will not be working, as well as basic sanitation. To this end, it is imperative that you stockpile enough bottled water, or water purification filters for your family, at least a six month supply. Please do your own research with regards to ready meals and other supplies as this requirement should be tailored to your specific needs. You must assume that there will not be any television, internet or mobile phone access, therefore ensure your family have enough books, games and entertainment to keep busy.

“In addition to the food supplies, ensure you have hazmet suits, and necessary masks, sanitation equipment and first aid for the whole family.

“Security will be another serious issue which in Britain is a very hard thing to deal with. In the current climate in the UK, one can be arrested for using force against an assailant or intruder, therefore firearms as a form of defence are banned in Britain. Naturally, the criminals are armed to the teeth with illegal firearms and it will be hard to defend you and your family from the numerous criminals roaming and looting the country, while the police and armed forces will be told to stand by for self preservation.

india train

“The biggest killer of whole populations is the free passage of humans crossing borders, either through air travel or by any other means, and this is the clincher, because borders are not secured, disease and viral outbreaks coming from poorly sanitised parts of the globe will increase, as can be seen with the current Ebola spread. Globalists want an open border for a number of reasons, economic, destruction of nationalism, as well as free passage of viruses for population control.

“It is thus up to the responsible individual to find a safe haven for themselves and their loved ones, and to be prepared, because the government is not there to help you in a pandemic. Even if you are healthy, you will most probably be quarantined in a camp with other sick people. You must get away from all cities immediately if an outbreak occurs as cities are nothing more than holding prisons. They are easily sealed off by the military, and the people left to fend for themselves in anarchy and disease.

Swimmers in China

“The population of the globe as of 2012 stood at 7.046 billion. This number of humans is a catastrophe for the environment and finite resources, it is therefore safe to say that the earth can only sustain a human population of less than a billion humans. If the human race and earth’s resources are to survive, there will have to be controlled populations. With the advent of robotic and AI technology, there is no need for the low skilled worker any more, as well as other traditional professions.

“The human population crisis will be solved one way or another, as wars do not decimate enough, there may have to be controlled sterilisation programs as well as incentives not to breed, especially in Third World nations where mass breeding creates untold suffering and deprivation.

“Even in the West, it is only the poor populations that are breeding en masse, creating even more suffering and a terrible burden on governments, health care and tax payers. These people must be either forcibly sterilised, or given monetary incentives not to breed, as they are mostly uneducated leeches on public services, they should have no rights when it comes to adding to the gene pool.

“The post consumerist world will be one of efficiency and technology, this is the only way humanity can move forward to the next era, the new epoch. For the new, the old must be destroyed completely. This is why those who are prepared now, will benefit in the future, and those who do not prepare will not.”

Scotland: Freedom is Priceless

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England currently owns Scotland, it’s like an outpost, a place where the locals are placated with benefits and treats now and again, but the oil reserves are dwindling, and patience is thinning on both sides of the border.

There is no price on freedom, it is profoundly better to be wild, free and forge your own path than a slave to someone else’s economic and political system.

The degradation of the Scots is felt every day when they kowtow to their neighbours over pocket money.

“There you go, there’s your pocket money for the month you wretched Scotch bastard, now if you lower your head further we might give you an extra penny. Run along now to your dingy boozer where you can anaesthetise your cowardice, shame and remorse.”

Ah, let us have a TV debate with a failed traitorous Chancellor whose policies of economic destruction Britain is still recovering from.

Over history, Scotland has changed immeasurably, now it seems the populations are tamed, brainwashed into subservience, slaves to finance from other nations — a defeated people.

Just as England is controlled by Brussels, so too is Scotland by England in an increasingly globalised world to be controlled and dictated to by other nations or technocratic entities is a sign of defeat, of weakness. As the sordid Scots try to summon up an ounce of what they used to have, aye, give me a drop of fucking dignity, something the ancestors had in bucket loads, there is a faltering sigh of defeat from the once proud, wild Celts.

If you’re a Scot you have two choices, paint your face blue, wear your kilt and pick up your broadsword before running into battle and cleaving some unfortunate in half with one swipe, or there’s the alternative, stay at home, receive your benefits, have a drink and forget about it.

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