Yellen: “I Called Off the Pumping”

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - After five years of pumping the markets with $5.4 trillion, current head of the Federal Reserve, Janet Yellen has called a stop to the bond buy back scheme.

“The pumping had to stop sooner or later. You people in the markets received $5.4 trillion now that’s more than enough to work with. Too much pumping makes the market sore, not soar, okay it made it soar, but artificially, and it had nothing to do with fundamentals. I’m going to say this only once, the Fed just took away the balustrades, so free money’s over for all y’all sober folks. You could’ve bought stock in some shitty profitless bookshop somewhere in Wichita and made millions while we were pumping. You know when they start selling in the pits, I see holes coming up in the ground, like big fucking holes, with lava overflowing. Doves and hawks, bulls and bears, you’re all the same now. Make your own decision, I ain’t sayin’ anything else,” and with a flourish, Janet Yellen disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving a slight tinge of sulphur in the air.

It’s a good thing the Federal Reserve is not part of the United States and is its own separate entity especially under the current conditions and what is to invariably follow.

The wolf of Wall Street? That’s just a memory in the cocaine addled mind of a hyena, because in Wall Street, there are way more sheep than wolves, you may think you’re a wolf but waves are waves, and tsunamis are tsunamis.

Back in May, one of our eminent experts outlined a few scenarios for the upcoming cessation of QE as we also wrote about in 2013, a deadly apocalyptic soup of misguided action where the prepared will fall just as hard as the unprepared. When things are this big, preparedness is moot, an indelible lack of reasoning quality always falls on those blinded by money and riches. The actual debt liability owed by the U.S. government is $222 trillion furtively called the ‘fiscal gap’ it encompasses actual liabilities and not the ‘official’ debt.

Pay your respects now as the true spirit of Sammy Hain is upon us, and the markets reach up to soleil, far through the wings of Icarus, and fall across the gaze of Milton’s Pandæmonium.