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Liar Theresa May Goes Back On Previous Lie About a Lie

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According to reports coming from 10 Downing Street, Theresa May has gone back on a previous lie about a lie, that concerned something about a lie she told about the backstop in Ireland, which was revealed to be a lie as well.

Reporting for Sky news, political correspondent, Faisal Islam, who knows everything about politics, revealed the latest lies told by Theresa May, are indeed lies.

“Theresa May has revealed the latest lies she has spoken from her lying mouth. These lies are not different from the previous lies she has spoken, and speaks on a daily basis, but lies upon lies, where her lies end and begin are lies as well. Her latest lies relate to the Irish backstop and she positively reneges on her previous lies by adding more lies to her original lie about the backstop lie.”

Theresa May’s lies have become so intricate in fact that many in her Cabinet believe that her lies are true lies.

“I believe that the lies Theresa May has been saying are true lies. That is to say, that the lie is a truth because it is a lie that can be believed in certain circumstances, especially if one is living in an environment where lies are constantly seen as truth, like you know we do in parliament every fucking lying day,” a confused Amber Rudd told the media before falling down on her knees sobbing copiously.

Why Getting a Lobotomy is the Latest Celebrity Craze

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What have Justin Bieber, David Beckham and Heather Locklear got in common?

They have all had lobotomies, and it’s the latest celebrity fad that is taking celebrities to a much better, more manageable place in Hollywood and the entertainment business.

“They’ve had all the tattoos, in fact tattoos are out now. I was acquisitioned by Justin Bieber to conduct a lobotomy on his brain. After a psychological evaluation, I agreed,” brain surgeon and neurologist, Dr. Helmut Jensen, told the LA Times.

Lobotomies don’t come cheap, it is estimated that Bieber’s procedure cost about $38,000 but the results of the operation are amazing.

The simple process involves severing connections in the brain’s prefrontal cortex. Most of the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex, the anterior part of the frontal lobes of the brain are severed giving peace of mind to the recipient.

Why are celebrities all getting a lobotomy?

“Many celebrities like Bieber, Beckham and others have very low IQs, and the amount of problems life deals out every day can overwhelm their simple minds. Like they watch the news and are completely confused and affected by what is going on, this is why they have a lobotomy so they don’t have to think about anything anymore. They can now just perform their songs or do modelling without having to think about lofty thoughts which only causes anxiety and stress,” consultant neurologist and behaviorology expert, Angela Tanner M.D. revealed.

The Kardashians have all been lobotomised, and there is very little difference to their brains before and after. The biggest celebrity recipient so far is Kanye West, who now sits in a corner of a recording studio with a MAGA hat on his head mumbling inane nonsense, absolutely no change there from before his lobotomy.

Fashion changes at quite a fast pace in celebrity land, so tattoos are now being hidden or erased. The real magic is now in the mind, where celebrities are completely erasing their thoughts, for peace of mind.

Justin Bieber, who had an IQ of 26 before his lobotomy now has an IQ of 4. This drastic change means that he does not have to get confused anymore, it is a form of relief for him, and he simply performs on stage miming as usual, then once off the stage he is very manageable.

“We just put him in the corner facing the wall in the dressing room after his performance. Not a flicker, he sits there content for hours until it is time to move him to his hotel room where he is put to bed, and the process repeated the next day,” Bieber’s manager, Alonso DuMas, told Entertainment Weekly.

Because of the latest celebrity craze, many other people are getting lobotomies as they follow their role models without question.

Why do People Play American Roulette? Freedom! That’s Why.

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If you have been hiding under rock over the last few years, you may not have been aware that the world of the Anglo-Saxons is going through a kind of existentialist crisis.

Depending on who you talk to, Britain is either preparing for the apocalypse on 29th March, or about to grab the mantle of freedom after years of oppression from European overlords.

The United States, too, is looking at Europe with an eyebrow raised, with Donald Trump sticking his finger in the wound and asking those miserly NATO Scrooges for more protection money. “Europe isn’t playing fair on trade and security” Mr Trump types into Twitter on his Chinese-made iPhone, which has been hacked – in a friendly manner – by Russian spies.

With Brexit, Britain is likely to try to make the special relationship even more special, the specialist relationship possible, and there will, of course, be plenty of debate on whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Sure, 99% of the debate will centre around chlorinated chickens, but it will be a debate, nonetheless.

Roulette may be biggest casualty of Brexit

However, there is one thing that Europe unequivocally does better than the US, and you better make sure that Mrs May has it in her withdrawal agreement – roulette. Yes, this really has nothing to with Anglo-European-American relations, but it’s an angle worth pursuing.

You see, there are two main types of roulette, the American version, handily called American roulette, and the European version. Sometimes people talk about French Roulette, but this is just European roulette with some fancy French words for ‘neighbours’ written on the table.

Regardless of what is called, the main difference of the two versions are the single zero game and the double zero game. You see, European roulette has 36 numbers and a single zero, whereas American roulette has 36 numbers with two zero slots. No big deal, right? Wrong.

Versions of both games at UK Casinos

The payouts for both games are the same, but the house-edge is better for most bets in the European version. Put simply, you are more likely to win more in European roulette, but both games are just as popular. For example, you can check out lots of live and virtual versions of European and American roulette at this online casino.

The question is: Why is American roulette still so popular? Why wouldn’t you play European roulette all the time if it has better odds? This author searched the net for opinions on the matter, and found answers like “It’s familiar”, “affordable” and “accessible”. The latter two refer to the fact that the mega casinos in places like Las Vegas will often limit the number of European roulette games, perhaps reserving them for VIP high-rollers. The American version is reserved for the common folk.

But, here in Blighty, it would boggle the mind why anyone would play American roulette. Online casinos and land casinos will offer plenty of options for European roulette, so it’s a no-brainer which one to choose. The difference in house-edge is 2.70% vs 5.26% for some bets, which can make a hell of a difference over the course of an evening. So, there you have it. European roulette needs to stay after Brexit, whereas Uncle Sam can keep his game locked away in Fort Knox.

A Guide to the 2019 Champion Hurdle

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The first day of Cheltenham is one of the most exciting on the racing calendar as the start of the action is marked by the famous Cheltenham roar. Thousands travel from all over the world and millions are wagered across the four days.

The highlight of Day One is undoubtedly the 90-year-old Champion Hurdle – the jewel in National Hunt calendar. This Grade 1 race for four-year-olds and over forms part of the Triple Crown of Hurdling along with Newcastle’s Fighting Fifth Hurdle and Kempton’s Christmas Hurdle. The race features eight fences and is run left-handed over a distance of 2m 87 yards.

Famous winners

Back in 1989/90, the Sir Michael Stoute-trained gelding Kribensis became the only horse ever to win the Triple Crown; however, he only ever one Champions Hurdle.
Hatton’s Grace, Sir Ken, Persian War, See You Then and Istabraq were all three-time winners of the Champions Hurdle. Istabraq was favourite to win a fourth before the 2001 event was cancelled due to a nationwide outbreak of foot and mouth disease. He returned in 2002, but pulled up with muscle problems after just two fences.

Top trainers and jockeys

Tim Molony (on Hatton’s Grace in 1951 and Sir Ken in 1952, 1953 and 1954) and Ruby Walsh (on Hurricane Fly in 2011 and 2013, Faugheen in 2015 and Annie Power in 2016) are the only two jockeys to have won the race on four occasions.

Nicky Henderson has trained the most winners with seven overall. He claimed consecutive wins with See You Then in 1985, 1986 and 1987, but had to wait until 2009 for his next winner, Punjabi. He triumphed again the following year with Binocular and won the last two renewals with this year’s favourite Buveur D’Air.

2019 Champion Hurdle preview & tips

Those looking for Champion Hurdle 2019 tips could do worse than look at 2017 and 2018 winner Buveur d’Air. The Nicky Henderson-trained eight-year-old is aiming to become the sixth horse to win the event three times, extending Henderson’s tally to eight wins in the process.

With preparations well on track, the dual winner is priced at 2/1 to chalk up a historic hat-trick in March. He impressed when returning to action in the Fighting Fifth Hurdle at Newcastle to record an 11th straight win. He followed that with a second place by a short head at Kempton, but can be forgiven for making a rare mistake three out. With seven Grade 1 wins in his last 13 races, Buveur d’Air still looks the pick of the bunch.

Champions Parade, Sandown, April 2017.
Carine06
Buveur D’Air

For those looking for an each-way option, Melon is worth a look. A couple of mistakes hampered his progress in recent runs at Leopardstown, but the seven-year-old was second by a neck in this event last year and is expected to come on from recent outings. With prices as high as 20/1 available, he looks to be the prime each-way pick.

Abortion May Be Unsavoury But World Needs More Urgently

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There is a certain hypocrisy to the Western white predominantly right wing Christians who are against abortion. The majority do not want immigrants, they do not want ethnics, blacks or minorities yet they are pro-life anti-abortionists which will only mean more migrant children, blacks and ‘ethnics’. How is that even a possibility? Is it not a paradox?

Then you have the pro-female choice faction, who are mainly in the leftist political bracket, and love immigration, no borders, and ethnic diversity, but support aborting the offspring of those groups, thus reducing their populations. This is another paradox of sorts.

The truth is, if the global population does not start increasing the level of contraception, sterilisation and abortion soon, there will be a massive boom in population levels globally in the next thirty to forty years.

pollution earth1

 

The developing nations are constantly developing, pumping out material into the atmosphere from their factories as they increase their industrialisation. This increase in productivity means the populations increase as well depleting finite resources from the earth.

The third world nations are developing their infrastructure, manufacturing and increasing populations almost exponentially. What do poor people do best? They fuck and have as many unsustainable children as they can. This is also reflected in cultural tradition, where in some countries, the goal is to have as many kids as possible so they can all look after you in old age.

Abortion, although an unsavoury method of eradicating pregnancy should be encouraged and promoted to the full globally. They need to have abortion trucks going from city to city, town to town, village to village aborting as many pregnancies as possible. There needs to be whole convoys of these abortion vans set loose on the populations to do their job.

We need to educate people from youth to always use contraception, or to be sterilised at the onset of puberty. In fact, thirty years ago, global authorities should have implemented sterilisation at birth which would have been the best way to deal with the population problem.

flats

The Africans, the Chinese, the Indians, and all the other heavy breeders need to all be stopped. They need to all stop what they are doing now, because there will not be an earth left soon if they continue at this pace.

There must be urgency in this matter, all NGOs, all aid agencies and all medical staff worldwide must mobilise as one unit. All media must be persistent with their constant education broadcasts in all languages.

In 1984, the misguided self-serving idiot called Bob Geldof created Live Aid, which achieved nothing in stopping African starvation. Instead most of the money raised was siphoned off by corrupt government ministers in the African nations that were targeted. If, however, Geldof, had pushed for mass global abortion and sterilisation of these nations, then the world would have actually been better off today.

There is only one way to save the earth and its resources, and that is a massive reduction in breeding worldwide. Whole generations must be wiped out. Whole villages must lie empty. Let the plants and animals breathe. Let the earth sigh in relief for a change.

We must allow scientists and technological advances to increase the pace in depopulation. They will find clinically efficient methods over time that will supersede the current brutal methods. If we have a far more humane, and efficient way of population reduction, then it will be accepted far easier than previous messy methods.

green dump

 

The legacy of humanity so far can be seen by the rubbish dumps so high that they cannot be climbed. The vast dumping grounds where plastics and poison leeches into the soil and water table.

Every day, the same people who plundered the earth with their industrial farming, and polluting factories to become billionaires, are now pushing the blame onto the people directly and saying it is their fault they have become too many, when it is the industrialists who encouraged population growth and plunder in the first place. This hypocrisy is the default manner that the elite always pursue, they first plunder everything for themselves, then push the blame onto the ordinary people.

As you walk down the polluted crowded streets, the crowded hospitals, the traffic filled roads, the oversubscribed schools, the crowded public transport, the overcrowded job centres, think to yourself, is this what we have become? Is this the pinnacle of human civilisation, where you cannot even breathe the fucking air anymore without coughing, where you cannot swim in the sea anymore without being covered in plastic bags, used condoms, and raw sewage?

Embrace contraception, embrace abortion, embrace sterilisation, embrace Tinder and Grindr because they spread disease and HIV, embrace war.

This is the only way forward for the planet…time is running out…

pollute time

 

The Bets Are Out On a Clean No Deal Brexit

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When it comes to the crunch, who knows what will happen with Brexit; the days and hours are ticking by, the Brussels unelected glitterati are running around in circles, huffing and puffing with their eyes bulging out at the latest misleading headlines coming from news desks? One newspaper will say this, and another that. In Blighty, it’s about the same, whispers of Olly Robbins saying something about extensions, then other whispers about no such thing. Who is to know what is really going on in the bunker as Theresa May, stocked up on baked beans and whisky paces the carpet in her leopard skin pattern shoes harrumphing and puffing with delirium?

43 days to go

Certainty is what is needed, instead we have a bucketload of uncertainty, and everyone knows this is not good for business, blah di blah di blah..it goes on and on, this Brexit that never seems to happen and never seems to end. The problem with Brexit is as we have been saying all along, it is being run by Remainers, and people who never wanted the UK to leave the EU. Until this is one day solved, and a real Brexiteer is put into a position of power, there will not be a real Brexit. With this uncertainty, we must have certainty, and there is definite certainty in one thing at least, and that is that bet365 review have got all avenues covered. Whether in a Clean Brexit, or a Brexit In Name Only, or even a complete dumping of Brexit and a return to the EU, which we never left in the first bloody place, they have it covered.

The fact is that it has now been three years since the EU Referendum vote, which was the largest democratic vote in British history. Three years, and pretty much nothing has happened since the vote. The UK has not left the EU, it has not even secured a single trade deal, and it has not even made plans for a Clean No Deal scenario. How can this be, how has parliament and the PM been so lacklustre in their approach to leaving the EU? We’ve had the Lords trying to thwart Brexit, we’ve has the judiciary trying to thwart Brexit, we’ve had the House of Commons trying to thwart Brexit, and that’s not including the media, the conglomerates, and ultimately the EU. Every bone of the civil service has been working against Brexit, every cell of the Treasury and the Bank of England has been working to stop Brexit, and what about the Cabinet itself? Split down the middle, with some MPs resigning in disgust at whatever they are disgusted at.

Juncker, Selmayr, Verhofstadt, and Tusk, a shameless bunch who slip and slide from one side to another, then plonk in the Irish question, the hard border, the soft border, and the darn right squidgy border. One can only imagine what goes on in their minds, these pointless people with immense salaries and endless expense accounts? If you’ve just had your fifth cognac of the morning, and have been pleasured by some young lady brought in by your fixer, would you care about the question of a hard border in Ireland? Remember it’s only 8.30 am and the whole day is ahead. Naturally, Juncker will stay in his office, and plonk his head down to rest for a few hours. Damn the phones, let them ring, especially if it’s that insufferable old bag Theresa May on the other line, or some panicked Irish chap blubbering nonsensical disaster scenarios that may or may not ever happen.

As the deliberations go on and on, we are constantly reminded of one singular thing about all of these players in the Brexit game. Yes, pretty much everything is about them keeping their jobs, keeping their salaries, keeping their EU backhanders, keeping their careers, or maybe even moving up in their career. Every opportunity that presents itself is another way to go up the ladder for these people, who are meant to be delivering the ‘will of the people’ as was voted on June 23, 2016. We have of course seen that those very people who voted on that fateful day for Brexit, are now but a forgotten memory, and have certainly been dusted under the carpet by a system that is using every trick in the book to erase their democratic vote.

Yes, one day we shall have certainty, but until that day passes, it will be even more uncertainty…

Why Any Literate Person Should Never Use the Word ‘Woke’ Ungrammatically

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Americans have bastardised the English language enough, but the latest word that really does show a true disdain for proper English grammar is the usage of “woke”.

Go to any American published news feed and you will see this terrible bastardisation all over their headlines. Maybe it is a symptom of the #MeToo generation where social justice activists, or apparatchiks to the new Soviet American system think they are being ‘progressive’ when they are spamming the internet with this word across the English speaking internet world.

woke headline

It is this disease of ungrammatical Americanisms that sadly infects our side of the Atlantic, because Americans know how to shout louder than anyone else, and repeat their ungrammatical monstrosities on a 24 hour basis. Everything is now infected with this banal American colloquialism, and the English language is sadly the loser in all of this.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, who have conducted their own research, the particular ungrammatical usage of the word ‘woke’ derives from AAVE (African American Vernacular English) or as other people call it, GS (Ghetto Speech) or EBONICS.

If you frequent social media, you may well have seen posts or tweets about current events that are tagged #staywoke. Woke is a slang term that is easing into the mainstream from some varieties of a dialect called African American Vernacular English (sometimes called AAVE). In AAVE, awake is often rendered as woke, as in, “I was sleeping, but now I’m woke.”

woke
‘Woke’ is increasingly used as a byword for social awareness.

It can be hard to trace slang back to its origins since slang’s origins are usually spoken, and it can be particularly difficult to trace a slang word that has its origins in a dialect. Woke’s transformation into a byword of social awareness likely started in 2008, with the release of Erykah Badu’s song “Master Teacher”:

Stay woke became a watch word in parts of the black community for those who were self-aware, questioning the dominant paradigm and striving for something better. But stay woke and woke became part of a wider discussion in 2014, immediately following the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. The word woke became entwined with the Black Lives Matter movement; instead of just being a word that signaled awareness of injustice or racial tension, it became a word of action. Activists were woke and called on others to stay woke.

Like many other terms from black culture that have been taken into the mainstream, woke is gaining broader uses. It’s now seeing use as an adjective to refer to places where woke people commune: woke Twitter has very recently taken off as the shorthand for describing social-media activists. The broader uses of woke are still very much in flux, and there are some who are woke to the broader implications of woke:

How the Goy Slaves Rebelled Against Sir Philip Green

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Just like Weinstein, we now have another heavy jew who is being targeted for takedown by the media and authorities.

“The big Jews are usually above the law, but once in awhile, they go the wrong way with their own kind as well, and are then put out for slaughter. They are allowed to plough the goy for as long as they want, because the goy are the cattle to be reared and profited from, but screwing with jews is a different ballgame. All it takes is a for business deals to go awry, in Weinstein’s case, he started to lose a lot of money, in Green’s case, he fucked BHS. When this kind of thing happens, we have to sacrifice the bastard in full view of the goy audience, and make it a lesson learned for watching jews. You lose money like that, rub people up the wrong way, then you are taught a serious lesson,” an anonymous source within the business community revealed.

Now it is the time for Sir Philip Green, a man who has no qualms in producing clothes in East Asian sweatshops for pennies by slave workers, then sold on Britain’s High Streets for 50,000% markups. He has courted and used the former model, Kate Moss, to sell his wares, enticing her with lucrative backyard deals.

“He can’t use Kate anymore, because her face now looks like an Eastenders cast reject on steroids. The cocaine and fags have taken a serious toll,” a TopShop insider revealed.

Just like Weinstein, Green will no doubt wriggle out of most of the allegations, especially with the best lawyers anyone can buy, and the unlimited cash stashed away in tax havens.

The businessman banked the biggest pay cheque in corporate history in 2005 when his Arcadia fashion business, which owns Topshop, paid a £1.2bn dividend. The record-breaking payment went to his wife, Tina, who lives in Monaco and is the direct owner of Arcadia. Because of this arrangement no UK income tax was due on the gain.

The PR damage however has been done, because what usually happens under the radar has been made public. This is never good for these big fish, swimming around the goy swallowing everything up, they do not like the goy to wake up and see what they are being subjected to.

Meghan Could Give Birth to Bunch of Bananas Says Doctor

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The hospital that Meghan Markle has been attending for prenatal checks has leaked information that could cause the Duchess of Sussex anguish today.

“We checked the ultrasound and it just showed a bunch of bananas in there. At first I did not believe it, but after some further spectral analysis, we concluded they were a bunch of bananas from Tesco. I think they retail for £1.99 for a bunch or something like that, we are however not sure, they could be from the budget range,” the ultrasound operator who deals with Meghan revealed.

Lindo Wing

Hospital administrators at London’s exclusive St Mary’s Hospital, are now considering changing the name of the Lindo Wing to the Banana Wing.

Royal commentator, Barney Nanas, was adamant that the banana revelation must be a gift of god, and a precursor for some sort of holy revelation.

“Consider this, it could be the immaculate banana conception. Just like Mary, Meghan was chosen to deliver these holy bananas to the world. This is a message, a supreme message from god that the bananas will save the earth. Either that or we can feed more hard up prostitutes with them.”

Meghan Markle’s press secretary, Janinine Ananas, made an impromptu statement to the press this morning.

“We have heard the rumours that the duchess is about to give birth to a bunch of bananas. We can conclusively report that these rumours are true. Meghan will give birth to about six ripe bananas, and once they are delivered, she will write virtue signalling affirmations on them with a sharpie. They will then be delivered to six lucky prostitutes chosen from a raffle.”

Palace courtiers are preparing for the Meghan Markle banana delivery by deploying a royal hamper to the birth hospital, so when the bananas are ejected, they will not fall on the floor and cause a mess.

Story developing.

Tusk: “Hell is the EU Because There is NO Escape”

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Donald Tusk, yesterday outlined why the EU resembles a hell on earth, and is run by unelected demonic personas hellbent on punishing good ol’ Blighty.

“First of all we have the Tower of Babel, which is what the EU parliament building in Strasbourg is modelled on. Then we have the demons who are appointed only by the devil himself, and not the people. This devil is called Juncker. Then we have the arch-demons, like Selmayr, who like to cause chaos amongst those who reject the Satanic EU. Our hell, as Britain has seen for itself, is one that they cannot escape, however much they try, we put obstacles in their way, we stop them in any way we can find. The EU is a hell where countries are prisoner to large payments, they must pay the devil, because if he does not get his payments he gets very angry. This is why we cannot afford to lose the biggest cash cow of all, Britain, which pays for the Greek debt, it pays for the Romanian poverty, it pays for the Bulgarian poverty, it pays for every poor EU nation’s debt,” Mr Tusk said from his little hole in the ground.

tower of babel eu

The EU devil may be a complete imbecile and drunkard, but he is still crafty in his ways, he still pushes for an army in hell, one which will force other imprisoned nations to fight against anything that is godly or good.

“We not only imprison millions of people, and whole nations in our EU hell where there is no escape, where they must obey our rules or be punished, where they must pay large sums of money to us for little or nothing in return, but our main modus operandi is to attack Russia once we make an EU army. Then the gates of hell will surely open up, as Russia has always been the ultimate prize, not only for former Europeans like Napoleon Bonaparte, but for Adolf Hitler. These were all devils too, because the mantle for EU devil passes through time,” Tusk added, as he gently roasted a Swede over the fire.

“For those who try to escape the EU hell, they will be punished with severity. We have demonic agents within your own countries who work for us. They cause dissent with those who wish to escape our hell. We will stop you all the way, we will hurt you with even more fire and agony, until you break down, and stop resisting. There is no escape from EU hell, not for Britain or any other former country which has been swallowed up by the EU monster, this demonic shambolic entity which eviscerates everything in its path, which dissolves any form of independence, which murders any form of justice, democracy or freedom. You must submit to your evil masters, as our demonic EU Commission members bask in their unlimited expense accounts, and have young nubile slaves served to them daily for breakfast, there will be no escape, you are defeated, admit defeat, and let the fires of EU hell consume you for eternity.”