Guy-is-a-cunt

“Monsieur Guy Verhofstadt was fuming at the British, calling them swine, this name and that name. From out of nowhere, some cockroaches, these were well seasoned ones – quite large – came up from under his desk and onto his quivering face. Some went onto his glasses, others burrowed into his ears, and from my count, he ate fourteen of them, crunching with gusto their hard shells. One of them was very large, and when he crunched down on it with his teeth, the insides oozed out over his chin. Guy Verhofstadt, simply slurped up the greenish slime with his long tongue, then continued on as if nothing happened,” Jean Gilles Punaise, a senior delegate for the EU’s transport commission in Strasbourg told news media after the talk.

Infestation

There has been talk about cockroach infestation in the EU parliament for some time, but it’s not just about unelected members of the EU Commission that are being referenced to, in fact, the little creatures infesting the parliament are quite hard to keep under control and are hardy little critters.

“Our EU pest control directive, number 2389-1a says that cockroaches are to be controlled in numbers but they have rights as well, under by-law EU directive 97345-123, cockroaches can only be squashed one by one, if squashed simultaneously in numbers more than one, this would violate EU directive 342775-1y, which stipulates it is an offence to squash more than one cockroach at the same time,” Chief of EU Cockroach Kontrollen, Yves Pierre Salope, told EU News on Tuesday.