17.7 C
London
Thursday, April 18, 2024
secret satire society
HomeHealth#youtoo Sexual Harassment Hashtag Takes Over Twitter

#youtoo Sexual Harassment Hashtag Takes Over Twitter

SAN FRANCISCO - USA - Men who have unjustifiably been accused of sexual harassment and unjustly tried on social networks by self-appointed judges with no evidence to back up their claims, are fighting back with a #youtoo hashtag.

 

“I asked for a woman’s phone number. It took me literally three weeks to get the courage to ask her. The next thing I know, I’ve lost my job, my wife left me, lost the home and now I’m sleeping in a cardboard box under a railway bridge, weeped one #youtoo man.

Another poor #youtoo fellow agreed with his newly found #youtoo friends.

“It was at the office party. I got drunk, accidentally tripped on the corner of a desk and my hand brushed the secretary’s blouse exposing her exposed breasts even further. Needless to say I was arrested for fondling her, put in jail and now have a 230 lbs monster as a cell mate.”

 

These sad stories of sorrow are from men who have been needlessly run out of town, wrongfully labelled as perverts and their lives ruined. This is why the #youtoo hashtag has caught on so much and is spreading across Twitter like a rabid urge in your loins when you see the woman you fancy bending over and cleaning the curtains.

Psychiatrist, Dr. Benjamin Fluegals, reveals that the #youtoo hashtag is perfectly normal, in an atmosphere of pure hatred for anything masculine.

“Men need to fuck. Men need to spread their seed. Men need to procreate. It’s like literally burned into the DNA of a man. There is nothing to be ashamed of, your penis needs to enter its home, you know where you came from in the first fucking place. This is a part of being human, and people should not make sex an act to be ashamed of, in fact, that goes against any form of biological programming. We are now in a climate where even asking a woman out on a date is considered as sexual harassment, and can ruin your life forever. This is wrong on many levels.”

Another #youtoo man revealed how he was run out of his job after he was caught looking at a female employee while she worked at her desk.

“I’m a lonely guy. I literally have dreams about her, and one day I looked at her whilst she was working on the computer, you know, the little things, the way she whisps her hair, the way her pert breasts jiggle when she types. She immediately noticed and reported me to the boss, who is also a woman, and I was fired the next day. They said I was giving her unwanted attention and that looking at her was sexual harassment. I now live on Skid Row after losing everything. I never could get another job because it went on my record that I was a pervert and not to be trusted.”

Close to suicide now after being charged on Twitter for sexual harassment, one #youtoo man gave a woman a sonnet copied from Shakespeare’s romantic tragedy, Romeo and Juliet. According to the woman she found the sonnet offensive and constituted it as sexual harassment. The man was detained, and put in a mental home where he nearly took his own life after losing his home, his dog, his cat and all his money.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »