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Starving Child Outside Meghan £500,000 Baby Shower Was Thrown Scraps

Donny Margherita
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Starving Child Outside Meghan £500,000 Baby Shower Was Thrown Scraps

As an ambassador to global warming and poverty, Meghan Markle, who has become the Duchess of Sussex, flew to New York this week in private jets spouting vast amounts of carbon emissions into the already dying atmosphere at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

The full cost of the three day trip is estimated at £500,000 or $651,000, but all was not lost, a starving child who was outside the Upper East Side hotel, where Meghan had a suite for $75,000 per night, was given a morsel of food by the duchess as she exited the establishment to meet her porn star friend, Abigail Spencer, for a night out on the town.

Jinny, 12, who lived with her homeless mother after travelling to the city from Nebraska, was sitting outside the hotel when Meghan breezed by.

“It’s so cold at night so I found a hot air vent. Then I saw Meghan coming out of the hotel. I hadn’t eaten for five days, but out of the kindness of her heart she threw a piece of bread on the floor in front of me. She even signed it with her name with a big black sharpie pen. I was delighted. At first, I thought I should keep it as a memento, but my hunger got the best of me.”

Since returning to Britain after the trip on another private jet costing $240,000, Meghan has heard the little girl died after succumbing to the brutal cold weather in New York.

“At least she got to eat one of Amal’s home baking delights. The bread is to die for,” the duchess commented afterwards from her luxurious cottage which she shares with prince Harry.

Brit Awards Exclusive: The State of the Music Biz Today

Donny Margherita
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Brit Awards Exclusive: The State of the Music Biz Today

This year’s Brit Awards, is a sort of commentary on how the music biz has deteriorated to such a state that it is not actually a music biz anymore.

Amongst the preening dresses and high pitched bellowing, we find a music biz where the actual musicality has been completely diminished to zero.

“Can you play a musical instrument? Have you ever sung live? Do you know what a bridge is? Have you ever played a G minor 7 chord?” someone asks Jua Dipa, one of the many female starlets on the set.

The answer to all questions is obviously an emphatic ‘no’ as she gets ready for her mime set by propping up her designer couture dress and her tits.

To see all these powdered up trollops in their Hollywood gowns all prancing around trying to outdo each other with their looks, is of course a breath of fresh air for many, because it is feminism that got them there, and not talent, it is still justified, but don’t mention the fact that their brand of feminism means they can fellate producers to get ahead, and still champion the #MeToo movement.

“None of these women can sing, write coherent songs, or perform live, but they are the music biz today. It’s just a female-centric fashion show now showcasing mediocrity and banality. They are only there because they have the woman card and look good. They all sound like moaning pregnant cats on heat. Nothing else,” a music commentator revealed.

One only has to look at the Billboard charts to see this phenomenon enacted with strange curiosity. The charts are now completely full of non-artistry, non-musicians no creativity, and no talent. Everything is run completely by marketing teams paying outlets to play their template autotuned shit en masse to audiences that know nothing better.

“If you play enough crap to people, they will eventually accept the crap, because they have nothing else to listen to, and because the crap is touted as the latest thing in crap it is then accepted 100%. To hear the caterwauling cacophony of today’s female dominated songs screeching their usually anti-male lyrics is like having big bags of oestrogen dripping all over the place, incessantly, never relenting. Untalented, moaning, these girls who have never even probably seen a musical instrument or relented over hours and years of slavish practice to hone their craft are now representing the music biz,” another disgusted musicologist revealed.

If you go to a bagpipe factory, you will hear better sounds than the people who populate the current music biz screeching today.

It’s the same old template Antares autotune RnB atrocities that are a sign that true creativity has not touched the music biz since the 1990s. You can listen to most stuff recorded before that date, but something very wrong happened afterwards. Was it the mass proliferation of the internet, or the RnB, the domination of one-size-fits-all templates created by the same linear software?

Sure, there are probably many culpable variables for the complete and utter destruction of any musicality or creativity in the music biz, but one thing is sure, maybe one day record companies will become brave enough to actually commission real artists again. It’s risky, there can be losses, but at least we might have some real rock stars, and musicians back up there and not this flock of detritus, suppurating talentless fake fucks miming on stages to songs they never wrote or care about. Fuck these people. They don’t deserve to live let alone mime.

One Man’s Harrowing Journey to Cure His Toxic Masculinity

Donny Margherita
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One Man’s Harrowing Journey to Cure His Toxic Masculinity

Today we would like to focus on one man’s painful, harrowing journey to cure his toxic masculinity.

Bernet Tregaskis, has lived his whole pitiful life with these urges that most men have to deal with. Those painful erections, that blinding libido desire that takes over your whole being. It’s all because of his balls, his testicles, these things that are the epitome of toxic masculinity.

You can help Tregaskis overcome his toxic masculinity today by going to his site and donating some hard cash so he can have his balls chopped off.

You can make a difference today to society — why not castrate yourself as well?

 

The World is Simply Waiting For America to Fold

Donny Margherita
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The World is Simply Waiting For America to Fold

What can a world which is being held ransom by one single country called America do but wait for its inevitable collapse?

Here is a country that makes up less than 5% of the globe’s population yet uses up over 60% of its resources, which threatens the earth with complete annihilation from its massive military power, bullying smaller nations to bend to its will or entertain certain destruction economically or militarily.

Time is the only thing that other nations of the globe have as they wait patiently for the U.S. debt to rise to such levels that the country eventually implodes. The current American debt is officially at $22 Trillion but that does not factor in its unrealised liabilities which some economists say is in the region of $80-150 Trillion.

What will the world look like once America goes?

The burden will ease, certainly, much like a large parasite coming off a poor bedraggled dog, but we will then have to contend with the other monsters on the block, China and Russia. There has to be some assurance that China stays in its place, and Russia behaves itself.

Until that time however, the world carries on, waiting patiently. Every day we are infected by American media, Americans shouting on every media platform, Hollywood puerile banality, loud American tourists, and an internet dominated by Americans shouting about what they are doing, and what they plan to do next.

Every part of the globe is now infected by Americanisms, by their inability to have a civil discussion without shouting and proclaiming they are correct all the time, without their inability to see the bits in the middle of anything, their black and white limited viewpoints on everything. Their sheer ability to reduce complicated global situations into gross generalisations and simplistic language that misses the point of many problems.

Time…it moves slowly but surely, and one day the global community will be free from the parasite that grew up way too quickly, lived way too fast, and croaked before its time.

Man Orders ISIS Mail Order Bride on Internet

Donny Margherita
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Man Orders ISIS Mail Order Bride on Internet

“I was looking for a mail order bride, flicking through the catalogue, went through the Russian section, then the Korean section, then the Chinese, then the Thai. They all seemed a little too needy, so when I came across the ISIS section, I thought why not order up something different for a change?”

The man, Rodney Humbole, 52, from Tunbridge Wells, has already gone through numerous mail order brides, with not much luck.

“One of them got lost in the post, she was meant to be a 21-year-old Chinese beauty from Beijing. According to the courier, she left but got lost somewhere in the system. The other one was a Russian, who was meant to be a demure 23-year-old model who loved cleaning. When she turned up at my door step, I found an 18 stone Ukrainian shot putter woman with more hair under her arm pits than my whole head. When I refused to let her in the house, she picked me up, swung me around a few times then let me go. I ended up in the green house and squashed my prize tomatoes.”

It’s Monday, and Rodney awaits his ISIS bride. He hears a knock on the door, and opens it tentatively but with curiosity. What wonders of the East has he invited into his home?

“I opened the door and there was this black thing resembling a bin bag with two eyes looking at me. She looked just like her catalogue picture, so I let her in. The first thing she did was take her shoes off and walk through to the lounge, laid down a prayer mat and started praying. I tried to get a word in edge ways but she told me to shut up. She then got up, and asked me where the bomb making equipment is kept? I pointed to the kitchen.

“From now on your name is Masoud, and you will pray five times a day to Allah. I told her I was Church of England. ‘You will learn to behead infidel dogs just for existing’, she whispered in a strangely seductive manner. She immediately grabbed a long knife from her purse and put it to my neck. Repeat after me ‘lā ʾilāha ʾillā llāh muḥammadun rasūlu llāh’.

“After that, she pulled me upstairs, threw me on the bed and we had the wildest sex I’ve ever had. She was like a wild animal.”

Sadly, after that admission, no one has heard from Rodney or his ISIS bride for weeks now. Some are speculating that they have gone to do Jihad somewhere in Arabia, or Somalia.

Ocasio-Cortez Smuggles Her Pet Chihuahua into Congress

Donny Margherita
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Ocasio-Cortez Smuggles Her Pet Chihuahua into Congress

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who represents the 14th District of New York, has been reprimanded for bringing her pet Chihuahua, Okie, into the Congressional building whilst in session.

Security is already tight since the many threats that occur daily, so Ocasio-Cortez could be pulled up on a disciplinary commission hearing for her oversight with her pet.

“We strictly do not allow animals or any other things like that into the building, so when we found the congresswoman with a live Chihuahua in the building, we had to evacuate the area and shut the building down temporarily for security reasons,” head of security at the Capitol Hill building told the Washington Times.

Immediately, Republicans seized on the congresswoman’s error and called for Ocasio-Cortez to be charged with endangering staff who could have been bitten by the animal or caught rabies.

Democrats are however standing by the congresswoman and demanding a pet day where members of Congress can bring in their pets for the working day.

“Ocasio-Cortez had to smuggle her beloved Chihuahua in her lunch bag, how bad is that? We should be allowed to bring our pets into the Congressional building even when in session,” Nancy Pelosi, who owns a pitbull lovingly called ‘Killer’ told the disciplinary panel.

Not only did Ocasio-Cortez smuggle the pet into the building but she gave the dog a job title, salary and email address much to the anger of officials in charge of security for the building. This act alone goes above and beyond any rules set down for members of congress and is a gross misappropriation of liberties afforded to congressional representatives.

Story developing

Why Mobile Betting Just Made Having an Online Flutter a lot Easier

Donny Margherita
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Why Mobile Betting Just Made Having an Online Flutter a lot Easier

Imagine the whole world of sports opening up to you to bet on with a simple press of a button on your phone wherever you are, at any time. The extensive opulence of choice has now been opened up for the mobile market, where you can be anywhere and have a quick flutter on that game you’ve been keeping an eye on.

All the UK racehorse events, all the premiership games, all the tennis matches, and it’s not just UK centric sports but we’re talking global events like the NBA, MFL, MLB, NHL, AFL, and MMA all featuring heavily with Mobilebet voucher code.

You could be just about to have that all important job interview and are sitting quietly in the lobby. Why not sign up and get a free tenner bet, imagine winning irrespective of what happens in the interview?

Mobile betting has really come into its own and signing up is just a few clicks away from winning some real cash, especially with those free betting vouchers, and a dedicated app.

Whether you are travelling, or stuck in an elevator on the 51st floor, or on a date with the most boring person you have ever met, there’s something magical about putting on that bet with the chance to win big.

It’s not only pre-match betting that will get the juices flowing, but mobile betting with Mobilebet will also give you the opportunity to conduct in-play live betting on football, tennis, basketball and baseball games. During play, you can analyse all the stats, which are freely available so you can make those crucial bet decisions. An additional tool that will most definitely come in useful is the ability to cash out, and reduce your losses or secure profits at any time.

Not only has mobile betting opened up the vast world of the sportsbook up, but it also holds a whole universe of casino games to indulge in, whether you’re into slots or other casino games, the choice is amazing to behold.

Gaming on the go is now 100% secure, with 128-bit encryption and that all too important customer service line that can help you with anything you need.

The world truly has opened up, as the need to visit the local High Street bookies has diminished, brighten up your life, bring that excitement back when you’re out and about elsewhere. The games never stop playing, and this is why you can’t miss those chances to win big and make your day that extra bit more special.

Why Traditional Marketing Methods Are in Decline

Donny Margherita
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Why Traditional Marketing Methods Are in Decline

Marketing has long been centred on advertising in print and on the TV screens. That has traditionally been the easiest way to get a message out to a large audience, as well as being the most successful. Over the last five to ten years though, things have started to change. Advertising spending budgets have started to move towards the digital marketplace over the more traditional methods. People are consuming media in a whole host of different ways, with television taking a huge hit in viewing figures due to streaming services and other ways of watching high-quality video. But is that the only reason traditional marketing is in decline?

Ignoring threats

While the rise of different forms of media cannot be discounted as a reason why traditional marketing is currently on the losing side, a lot of the blame must lay with the people that control traditional forms of media. They did not see the rise in other forms of media as a serious threat. This is most apparent in print media. Newspapers have suffered a sharp decline in circulation, most of this due to the ease with which people can gain access to news online, for free. This led to a decline in the value of their advertising space which means that marketing campaigns are no longer focused in this area as much as previously. While it does not mean that traditional marketing is completely dead, it is well on the way.

While television and radio are not yet suffering to the same degree as print media, they are still going through change. They are somewhat ignoring the growing threat of online streaming that is slowly reducing their audience share. That will lead to a similar situation where advertising revenue will fall away as viewers move towards the newer mediums. This will be another nail in the coffin of traditional marketing.

What does new marketing offer?

New marketing offers a much greater amount of customisation of brands. This allows for ads to be targeted towards specific metrics and demographics. With this greater level of customisation comes much higher levels of success and reward. That is obviously far more appealing to marketing departments.

The ability to target ads directly to certain demographics means that as new marketing becomes more common the ability to utilise it successfully will increase. The more data you can make available the more efficient and effective it will be. This is a growth period for modern marketing, and it is likely to grow further as time goes on. With the growth in modern marketing techniques expected to skyrocket it is important to make sure that your brand is protected from malicious attacks of any kind. Some businesses experience targeted attacks designed to spread falsehoods about a brand. An organisation like Reputation Defender can ensure that your brand is protected from those kinds of attacks. It is essential to be protected from reputational attacks, because just one poor review can change how your brand is perceived.

The lower cost of modern marketing is also something that brands take into account. It is a lot cheaper to have an ad that is targeted at a specific demographic of people across social media than it is to run an ad in a local newspaper that has a much wider demographic. Modern marketing is not just more specific, it also achieves that at a lower cost. This combined with the ability of cookies to learn about the habits of consumers means that modern marketing has access to a lot more data than ever before and as such is able to do a much more efficient job.

Can traditional marketing survive?

There are two answers to this question. If traditional marketing continues down the path that it is currently on, then no, it cannot survive. That is because it is slowly being phased out of the market both in terms of price and effectiveness. Just as newspapers refused to change with the times, traditional marketing methods could go the same way. However, it is important to note that it is not too late. If the methods behind traditional marketing can work alongside new marketing methods then there could be a place for both. If those who are advocates for traditional marketing are willing to change their stance then it has a chance, if they do not do so then traditional marketing methods could well be gone for good.

What Casino Games Require Skill and What Are Left to Luck?

Donny Margherita
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What Casino Games Require Skill and What Are Left to Luck?

Gambling is a game of chance, but some games require more luck than others. It is possible to take part in casino games that are more about skill than leaving it all up to fate. Blackjack, for example, is a game where it’s possible to steer the odds in your favour, whereas slot machines are a purely chance-based activity where the outcome is anyone’s guess. This is a guide to the games where you’ll need to have knowledge of how it works and strategy on your side and others where you don’t need to rely on anything except lady luck.

Games of Luck

The outcome of these games is purely random but there are two things to remember when playing casino games like this, which are that the house always has an edge over the player, and that the player’s task is the try and work out the outcome of the game for certain games like Craps or Sic Bo whereas others won’t have this option, such as slots. Some games that are just up to luck on the day include:

  • Online bingo
  • Keno
  • Roulette
  • Instant win games
  • Scratch cards
  • Slot machines

A game like lightning roulette, for example, is purely down to how the dealer spins the wheel – you have no control of the number it hits when it stops and there are no patterns, as every spin has its own probability. A game like Craps, however, is mostly down to luck but if you have some level of dice-throwing strategy, then it is possible to turn the game slightly in your favour.

Games of Skill

There are pros and cons to skill-based casino games, but the most common games that involve this include:

  • Blackjack
  • Poker
  • Sports betting

With these games, it’s possible to make decisions that will impact how the game plays out and whether or not you’re going to win. Of course, luck still factors in to an extent, but less so with these games that those listed above. There are benefits to this, in the sense that if you can fully understand how the game works and the strategy behind it, you have more chance of winning at the end. You can also lower the house edge with these games, whereas you can’t with games like slot machines or roulette. These games do require more work and thought though, so for some players they won’t find them as enjoyable as a game that’s simple to play.

If you’re someone who prefers the thrill of gambling when the outcome is based on fate, then luck-based casino games are definitely the way to go. But if you prefer to have a hand in how the game runs and want the satisfaction of feeling like you earned a win through your mathematical proficiency, then it’s a good idea to practice playing skill-based games and become really knowledgeable in the various ways you can lower the house edge in your favour.

Thomas Markle Creates Banana Pizza to Commemorate Meghan Birth

Donny Margherita
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Thomas Markle Creates Banana Pizza to Commemorate Meghan Birth

Estranged father of Meghan, Thomas Markle, has created a culinary delight to commemorate the upcoming birth of his royal grandchild which he will probably sadly never meet.

“I wanted to do something remarkable to commemorate the birth of my first royal grandchild,” Mr Markle told the National Enquirer magazine on Thursday.

According to Mr Markle, the idea popped into his head when he was watching the news and saw his daughter signing bananas at a prostitute centre in Bristol, England.

“I watched that on the news and I literally had tears flowing down my cheeks as I was eating a large pepperoni pizza at the time. Then, zing, an idea popped in my head. I could get back with my daughter by doing a good deed myself! Like create an original pizza that I can name the Meghan Banana Royale Supreme.”

The pizza was created and patented by Thomas Markle on the 10th February 2019, and is now really popular in the Rosarito Beach, Mexico area where Thomas rents a single room apartment for $70 a month.

“He’s hoping when Meghan sees the pizza, she will have a change of heart and bring him back into the royal family fold,” a family friend revealed.

The Meghan Banana Royale Supreme pizza recipe

1 x pizza base (25″ diameter)

1 gallon mashed banana and tomato puree sauce

20 x bananas peeled

5 x tins of anchovies

800 grams mozzarella cheese

1 x sharpie pen

Buy or make the pizza base dough, mash a bunch of bananas in a bowl, throw in some tomato puree, mix for two hours. Peel 20 bananas, eat some, slice the remaining bananas, drink a beer, watch the news about Meghan. Place cheese over pizza banana sauce, place banana slices and anchovies over cheese. Bake until bananas go black. Use the sharpie to write positive messages like ‘You are special’ and ‘Keep on sucking!’ around the baked pizza dough.

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