Jean Claude Juncker Projectile Vomits On Reporters

BRUSSELS - Belgium - EU President, Jean Claude Juncker has spectacularly projectile vomited onto a group of reporters, it has been reported in all news sources.


Reuters camera man Jens Pillank, captured the spectacular show on Friday and has even been nominated for this year’s prestigious press photo award.

“I captured the moment of explosive vomitage. Juncker did not seem steady on his feet, and swayed with every step. When he stopped walking suddenly we knew something was up. And then like a magnificent waterfall it exploded, I estimate reaching over seven metres. The smell was of cognac, fresh from the distillery of Juncker’s gastric tract, of course mixed in with little bits of Haute cuisine, maybe some Magret de Canard avec Foie de Veau à la Lyonnaise. In fact, the seasoned ingredients of the vomit were quite delightful and not unpleasant at all.”

A senior aide to the EU president later apologised for the incident and revealed it could have been Brexit jitters that Mr. Juncker was suffering from.