Boris Johnson has COVID-19, albeit the mild strain luckily.
Our PM will get through this little mishap, and he will continue to do his work much to the chagrin of the vile subhumans on Twitter wishing him death and all sorts of nastiness.
We know you will not be bothered by this pesky disease, and you will soldier on despite the illness.
Boris Johnson will deliver Brexit and he will get us through the COVID-19 pandemic despite everything that is thrown at him by the French, Satan, Beelzebub, the EU Commission or the Labour party.
The Financial Underwriting Credit Kickback Efficiency Derivative (FUCKED) think tank thinks that the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s money giveaway to millions of businesses and people is an irresponsible tactic that will invariably result in ‘ruinous tax rises’ for the future.
“The technique of giving with one hand and taking with the other, is an age-old trick by the tax man, and this is exactly what Rishi Sunak is doing. When the time comes, and the hysteria dies down, the government will want its money back and this is the clincher, the tax rises alone will ruin many businesses.
“This ruse of ‘saving people’ and businesses now is nothing of the sort. It is only a gesture to stop any form of civil disobedience, rioting and anarchy. If the government did not make this gesture, people would not be able to eat, and they would be out in the streets looting.
“Once the curtain is lifted and everything gets back to semi-normality, everyone will see these vast tax rises eviscerate anything they had left after the viral deluge. Future generations will also be saddled with this immense tax burden, a gift from their government for a lifetime of tax slavery. You will now be working 360 days of the year before you pay off the mere interest of your taxation bills.
“Many businesses may try to flee, but where to go? Many Western governments have conducted similar rescue package schemes and they will be doing the same thing as the British government.
“The traditional Conservative party credo of letting failing businesses fail has been dumped and a socialist model of massive bail outs and rescue packages adopted. Is the Conservative party conservative any more? When you have Marxists like Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell fawning over Rishi Sunak and Boris Johnson, one wonders what is going on?
“This only means, the ruinous economic policies of socialism has won through during this coronavirus, and it will be utilised by the government in the future to introduce punitive taxation measures that will effectively seal more ultimate government control over all finance and business.
“There is no liberty in being molly-coddled by governments. Boris has adopted the Big government model of socialists, and of ruinous bail-outs. Any responsible business or household should have enough money to survive without a job or work for at least six months to a year, and those who did have the means to survive, have now been saddled with huge tax rises in the future, because many other people were not as responsible as them.
“The recession and vast tax rises will be the real killer and will last for decades.”
Historical experts at the University of Salzburg, situated in the birthplace of one of history’s greatest musical composers have been astounded at the likeness of Swedish media darling, Greta Thunberg and the baby Mozart.
Fantastisch!
“I was eating my apple strudel one day in the café, and someone sat next to me with a Mozart book, and a magazine with Greta Thunberg on the front. That is when I spat out my food over the waitress. Mein Gott! The resemblance was fantastically accurate. I sincerely believe, little baby Wolfie has comen backen-zie as this Swedish maiden!!!” Professor Gunther Staffelführer, recalled.
Child prodigy
The remarkable resemblance has astounded the faculty for music history to such a level that the university is even calling for Greta Thunberg to come to Salzburg as a guest, so that the incredible theory can be tested.
“Ve vill put Greta in front of a harpsichord, and if she suddenly creates a magical piece, maybe resembling the Klaviersonate F-dur KV 533/494 or something like that, I vould vet my lederhosen there and then, Jah!”
The first gig of Meghan Markle after quitting the royal family has been revealed – with Meghan voicing a Disney documentary on elephants.
The former Duchess of Sussex only agreed to do the project if she is cast for more voice-overs from Disney in the future that will pay lucratively.
“She’s waiving the fee on this one and letting the proceeds go to charity, as long as Disney bosses give her many well-paid jobs after this one,” one executive revealed.
Last year, desperate Harry was filmed touting Meghan’s voice-over skills to Disney boss Bob Iger at the occasion in July.
In the shocking video, Prince Harry pointed to his wife and said: ‘You do know she does voice-overs as well?’ An embarrassed Mr Iger replied: ‘I did not know that’, before Harry continued: ‘You seem surprised, she’s really interested’.
The uncomfortable Disney boss was then forced to say: ‘We’d love to try. That’s a great idea,’ while Meghan, who was next to Prince Harry, continued to pretend to speak to cheap pop starlet, Beyonce, whilst grinning like a Cheshire cat.
Mr Iger, resigned from the company hastily after the meeting.
The former royals are currently stranded somewhere in Canada, and will thankfully never return to Britain’s shores any time soon.
Want to see a ticking time bomb? Most of the U.S. population are on heavy doses of painkillers and other prescription drugs, as well as being morbidly obese. These people may have access to heavy weaponry but all it will take to take them down is a microscopic pathogen that their bullets will not find.
“I can shoot a commie bastard, I can shoot a gook, I can shoot anyone taking away my rights, but I cannot shoot this virus, hell, I can’t even see the dayum thang!” one morbidly obese American from Detroit said whilst sitting on a bag of ammunition.
Drugs
More than 131 million people — 66 percent of all adults in the United States — use prescription drugs. Utilization is particularly high for older people and those with chronic conditions. Prescription drugs can hasten death when infected by coronavirus.
Marijuana, followed by cocaine and LSD, is the most used illicit drug in the United States. As of 2018, around 124 million people in the United States had used marijuana at some point in their lifetime. In the past few years, a number of states have legalized marijuana for both recreational and medical purposes, creating a new and thriving market.
Obesity
The National Center for Health Statistics estimates that, for 2015-2016 in the U.S., 39.8% of adults aged 20 and over were obese (including 7.6% with severe obesity) and that another 31.8% were overweight. Obesity rates have increased for all population groups in the United States over the last several decades.
Mental Illness
In the United States, almost half of adults (46.4 percent) will experience a mental illness during their lifetime. 5 percent of adults (18 or older) experience a mental illness in any one year, equivalent to 43.8 million people.
About 2.5 million people currently receive some form of Family Tax Benefit. Income support for the unemployed and the sick makes up $10.8 billion of the welfare budget, an increase of $358 million from 2018-19.
Guns
Thirty percent of U.S. adults say they personally own a gun, while a larger percentage, 43%, report living in a gun household.
Personal gun ownership varies among the major population subgroups Gallup looks at:
Republicans (45%), men (43%) and self-identified conservatives (40%) are the most likely key subgroups to say they personally own a gun.
Women (17%), Democrats (16%) and Hispanics (15%) are the least likely to report personal gun ownership.
Welfare
64,699,741 individuals were enrolled in Medicaid in October 2019..[Source: Medicaid]
An average of 35 percent of unemployed Americans received means-tested benefits. [Source: United States Census Bureau]
On average 21 percent of Americans participate in at least one government assistance program. [Source: United States Census Bureau]
43 percent of Americans signed up for welfare programs have been participating for over 3 years. [Source: United States Census Bureau]
18 percent of all U.S. adults have received food stamps at some point in their lives. [Source: Pew Research Center]
Over half of Americans receiving housing assistance have been enrolled for over three years. [Source: United States Census Bureau]
Only 10 percent of Americans receiving housing assistance pass the requirements for housing assistance over three years. [Source: United States Census Bureau]
51 percent of immigrant-led households in the United States are enrolled in one or more government welfare program. [Source: Center for Immigration Studies]
Put all of these statistics, mix them in a bucket full of fear, and a huge national debt with a crumbling economy, joblessness, no national health service, and millions of guns, and it is almost inevitable that something terrible will arise soon enough.
“When the shit kicks off, you better be thousands of miles away from here, or it’s gonna be goodbye time!” another morbidly obese American man said whilst toting his AR-15 and snorting a line of cocaine.
A native New Yorker was recently shocked to find that the slogan, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas”, used to promote the Nevada city was not just a catchy tag line.
The world-famous slogan had been used to promote the city for 17 years. The slogan originated in 2003 during an advertising meeting, and has firmly secured itself as one of the recognisable and successful tourism campaigns of all time.
The Las Vegas tourism department coined the phrase in order to emphasise the feeling of freedom that so many people flock to Sin City to experience. Las Vegas is a place to be free, to become someone else, to do and say as you please, without having to face the consequences once you return to your daily life.
Upon arriving back in New York, the unnamed 27 year old male contacted the police in relation to a stolen bag from the trunk of his vehicle. Once on the scene, they proceeded to question the man about his complaint.
A reporter caught up with the police officer who questioned the man and he had this to say on the matter.
“We have seen this kind of thing before, individuals see the bright lights of Vegas as a way to escape the mundane… and it is. However, people seem to want their cake and eat it, they want their actions to have no consequences and then complain when they get their wish after crossing state lines”.
The individual was in shock to find that the well known slogan used to promote the city was actually true. The tourism board refused to comment, but sources have said that they are in disbelief that people are still unaware that the phrase is factually accurate.
Our esteemed news team were able to track the man down in order to get his side of the story. It turned out that he had travelled to Las Vegas for the weekend to experience first hand what he had seen depicted in the movies and on television. He explained how his friends said they had warned him before his trip, but that he thought it was in jest.
The trip was going so well, the weather was great, the food at the Bellagio was delicious. On my last night I decided to try my luck in the casino. I couldn’t believe it, I won big… really big! When I got back home to New York, the bag with all my winnings was gone, like it had disappeared into thin air!
He went on to say that he will be sticking to the safe and secure option of playing video roulette online from the comfort of his own home for the foreseeable future.
Many believe that this is the reason Vegas city officials have recently ditched the motto and have replaced it with “What Happens Here, Only Happens Here”, believing that it makes it clearer to the public that the slogan is a genuine warning to visiting tourists.
The flights keep coming in from EU coronavirus hot spots like Spain and Italy into Britain’s airports day and night. Many planes carry those who may be infected with the deadly pathogen but are not yet showing the symptoms, although they are shedding the virus throughout the aeroplanes and airports, then onto the taxis, underground trains and their destinations.
There are no checks at airports, there are no restrictions to entry into the UK, there are no checks at UK ports, there are no people wearing protection from the virus in Britain.
As the virus continues to spread, it must continually find new areas to feed, and the supermarkets are the major collection zone for humans, who have to eat as well. It is almost ironic that as humans shop to eat, the virus does the same on humans.
Coronavirus flight plan 2020-03-26 at 12.31.46 (https://www.flightradar24.com/)
Shop and Die
What use is any supposed lockdown when the British supermarkets are now hubs for infection and the underground trains are full? No one wears any protective equipment in the UK, and the supermarkets are one of the last sanctuaries for the virus to infect its prey.
The infected aisles full of desperate shoppers who did not prepare in January, now nonplussed and keen to survive, yet here they are breathing in massive clusters of airborne coronavirus deep into their lungs within the enclosed space as they scrabble for that last piece of toilet roll.
The already infected in the supermarkets shed the virus over the uninfected shoppers as they simply breathe whilst standing close to each other in the queues to pay for their shopping, some coughing, others sneezing miniscule droplets fall onto food produce and distribute in the air circulation.
One obese woman handles everything in sight, stuffing as much food into her trolley, if she is infected, the virus from her sweaty hands will stay on the packaging for 9 days. Some of the produce she had touched a few moments ago is now touched by a little girl who has come to the supermarket with her mother, the girl wipes her eyes, then touches her nose, the deed has been done.
Throughout the supermarket, there is no distancing, there are no masks or gloves, shoppers huddle together, rats all milling around an infected cage in some sort of sick medical experiment, coughing, farting, sneezing, breathing the coronavirus into their systems.
This unseen enemy and its voracious appetite must feed, and the airports, the supermarkets, the hospitals, and underground trains are now the new killing ground.
For the virus, there is no lockdown because much is still open.
Congratulations to Prince Charles who has finally been corona’d as King of England.
Speaking from his quarantine palace, the newly corona’d king revealed his feelings on his ascension to the corona throne.
“One has finally been corona’d and one is now king..Yay! Finally, after waiting for so many..” (coughing profusely)..
Wearing his crown, King Charles VII, has vowed to rule the British Isles with dignity and valour.
“One’s first engagement as King will be to order the demolition of 90% of Britain’s new buildings and to have architecturally pleasing ones built in their place. One will also demand a Talking to Plants Day required for every citizen within one’s realm.”
There is nothing to fear, the King has the best medical help in the kingdom, and will survive being corona’d with ease (In other words – he’s not on the NHS).
One of the reasons Northern Italy was hit so hard by the Coronavirus is because Chinese tourists saturated the main sightseeing cities of Venice, Florence and Milan. Now they want to come back, and are planning their trips to all the major European cities.
The flights are still running, and unscrupulous Chinese tour operators have no qualms in taking money off Chinese tourists who are desperate to see the sights.
“Now is summer time and good to come to Europe. We going Paris, Italy Venice and London. We already book and we come in April,” Mingmei Zhou, 35, from Hubei province, told Xinhua News.
Because of Chinese state censorship of all media, many Chinese people are ignorant to the fact that their country is responsible for infecting the globe with the deadly coronavirus and most cities in Europe are under lock down.
“We booka Disney Rand in America. I also wana visit Donald Trump for White House tour in Washington,” Uang Zhou, 48, a restaurateur from Beijing added.
The Communist Chinese Party is encouraging their citizens to get back out there to infect the world further.
“Please go to all their cities again, see their sites, eat in their restaurants and infect them over and over again with our wonderful Chinese viruses. This is our gift to the world people. Love from China,” President Xi Jinping said at an address on Tuesday.
Coming hot off the heels of the Chinese Coronavirus that is spreading across the globe ruthlessly killing people and murdering the global economy, we now have Chinese Hantavirus, which comes from rats, something the Chinese love to eat.
The #Hantavirus first emerged in 1950s in the American-Korean war in Korea (Hantan river). It spreads from rat/mice if humans injest their body fluids. Human-human transmission is rare. There were even vaccines developed for it. Please do not panic, unless you plan to eat rats.
Rat meat is popular all over the countryside outside of the bigger cities. There are dealers who go out into the countryside and farmlands every other week. They stop at every farm where the farmers have collected all the rats they have caught that week and keep them in a burlap sack. These “Rat Dealers” buy the rats from the farmers take their haul back into the town areas where they sell the rats to restaurants at a higher price of course. The restaurant cook takes the reats in the burlap sack and place the sack into a large tub of water to drown the rats. The dead rats are taken to the chopping table where the head,feet and tails are removed and the rat is gutted. Next they heat oil in a large pan and the rats are sauted with spices and chili peppers and served with sauce over a bed of rice. The Chinese people have been eating rats for hundreds of years and rat meat dishes are very popular over all of China. SOURCE
Not for the faint-hearted, the video below shows the eating of live baby rats, which is considered a great delicacy in Guangdong province, China.
It’s only a matter of time before the Chinese Hantavirus mutates and is transmitted human to human, much like the Chinese Coronavirus did.
Thanks to the filthy Chinese cities where exposure to the urine, droppings or saliva of infected rodents can result in the virus being transmitted, including bites from infected rats and mice, as well as the despicable barbaric culinary traditions Chinese people practice, the world is now facing a terrible pestilence that threatens to kill millions of people.
