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Retired Mike Pence to Open Maggot Farm in Wisconsin

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Former Vice President Mike Pence has announced he will no longer run for America’s top job in 2024, and has instead revealed he will open a maggot farm in Wisconsin.

Yellow coward Mike Pence said he is dropping out of the 2024 Presidential race in a shock announcement in Las Vegas on Saturday. His presidential campaign raised a whopping $3.42 from donors and voters.

Pence said: “I came here to say that I am resigning from the Presidential race because I am inherently a coward, and any form of responsibility, patriotism or decision-making scares me to the core — especially president stuff. Instead, I choose to retire to a maggot farm in Wisconsin. As a yella coward I kinda relate to maggots and I am myself a maggot, so I think this is a very apt solution to my backstabbing, cowardice and treachery in the past,”

He added: “I have many regrets, and one of them is that I didn’t hide away in a maggot farm many years ago. I love those maggots!”

Pence was a long shot in the Republican Primary race, which has been dominated by former president Donald Trump, who was also Mike Pence’s boss while he was in the White House.

“I cannot wait to get stuck in into the maggot farm, to see ’em all wriggling around and the smell and sound of millions of maggots really excites me,” Pence added with enthusiasm.

Rugby World Cup Final: All Blacks Get Springbokked

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In a rugby world cup final that will be etched in the annals of sports history, the clash between the New Zealand All Blacks and South Africa Springboks unfolded with all the tension and drama of an ancient epic battle. The stage was set for an unforgettable showdown, but what transpired was a contest of wills and endurance that left spectators breathless and emotionally drained.

NEW ZEALAND 11 SOUTH AFRICA 12

It was a match marked by moments of brilliance and controversy, a rollercoaster of emotions that swung back and forth. The narrative began with a twist of fate as New Zealand’s captain, Sam Cane, found himself shown a red card early in the game, before the tension ratcheted up even further when South Africa’s hooker, Bongi Mbonambi, was forced to exit the field due to injury.

As the game unfolded in the Stade de France, Handre Pollard emerged as a hero, landing crucial penalties that would ultimately secure South Africa’s victory. The Sprinkbok’s defence, led by the relentless Pieter-Steph du Toit, proved unyielding, thwarting New Zealand’s attempts to gain ground. The All Blacks, though facing a scoreboard deficit and an uphill battle, fought back with determination.

The rugby battle of wills continued to build in ferocity with yellow cards for both sides, adding another layer of complexity to the contest. Moments of brilliance and missed opportunities defined the second half, including an electrifying try by Beauden Barrett that breathed life into New Zealand’s hopes. In the end, it all came down to one final scrum, with South Africa’s pack driving the ball towards the touchline to secure their place in history.

This was not just a rugby match; it was a furious, brutal, pitched battle that showcased the resilience, skill, and sheer fucking passion of both teams. The 80 minutes of intense action were a testament to the enduring appeal of the sport and the indomitable spirit of those who play it. Rugby fans around the world will long remember this historic clash as one of the greatest finals ever witnessed and cheered as the triumphant South African team raised the Webb Ellis trophy. The jubilant Springboks secured the world cup an amazing fourth time, winning the quarter-final, semi-final and final all by just one point.

The Importance of Crafting an Aircall Personalised Customer Service Experience

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In today’s competitive business landscape, customer support transcends mere transactional exchanges; it’s about building meaningful relationships with an Aircall personalised customer service experience. People naturally gravitate toward individuals and businesses with whom they have strong, positive connections. Conversely, they tend to distance themselves from those they find less appealing. For interactions that fall into the “just okay” category, customers often adopt an indifferent attitude. When relationships become challenging or one-sided, the simplest solution is to sever ties.

A personalized customer support experience leaves a lasting impression on your customers, making them not only content with their interaction but also eager to return. So, what’s the secret formula for creating such a personalized experience? It involves understanding the components of personalized service, devising a strategic plan, and diligently measuring your results.

Our systems come with many useful features to help your team garner the power of personalised customer support. If you want to help your sales representatives dial faster and reduce manual entry into your CRM, our Power Dialer is the phone feature that your business can’t live without.

The Significance of Aircall Personalised Customer Support

call-8033050_640Why should businesses invest in a personalized customer support experience? Renowned author and business expert, Seth Godin, defines personalization as follows:

“Personalisation wasn’t supposed to be a cleverly veiled way to chase prospects around the web, showing them the same spammy ad for the same lame stuff as everyone else sees. No, it is a chance to differentiate at a human scale, to use behavior as the most important clue about what people want and, more importantly, what they need.”

To build robust customer relationships, you must make customers feel like individuals rather than just one of many. When your workflows consistently recognize your customers personally, trust and confidence form the foundation, leading to brand loyalty and advocacy.

In cases where trust and confidence are absent, retaining their business becomes an uphill battle. It’s more efficient and productive to provide a superior customer support experience from the outset.

The Benefits of Personalising Customer Support

Customer relationships take time to nurture and strengthen. Your sales funnel offers multiple opportunities to implement strategies that nurture leads. By personalising the customer experience, you can reap the following five benefits:

  1. Building Trust: Personalised service builds trust in your brand, encouraging customers to return. Trust ranks as the second most important factor in purchasing a new brand, according to the Edelman Trust Barometer Special Report: Brand Trust in 2020, second only to price.
  2. Motivating Action: A personalised customer experience motivates interested customers to progress through your sales funnel. Author and Harvard professor Gerald Zaltman suggests that 95% of purchase decisions are subconscious.
  3. Enhancing Engagement: Personalisation boosts customer engagement and increases conversions. An Experian study revealed that personalised email campaigns resulted in six times higher transaction rates and revenue per email compared to generic emails.
  4. Improving Retention: Personalised marketing campaigns improve customer retention rates. Existing customers are high-quality leads and are likely to return as long as they’ve had a positive, personalised experience with your brand.
  5. Fostering Loyalty: Referred customers often bring a sense of loyalty with them. Studies show that referral customers exhibit long-term brand loyalty, and referrals are considered the most credible form of advertising.

women-5772029_1920 personalised customer service

Identifying the Elements of the Customer Support Experience

To define a personalised customer experience, one can use customer behavior as a valuable source of insights. According to the 2016 Customer Engagement Index, 86% of customers highlighted three crucial elements for a great customer service experience:

  1. Understanding Customer Intent: Every order provides an opportunity to collect data and understand your customers better.
  2. Offering Easy Self-Service: Customers appreciate intuitive and user-friendly self-service options, like Interactive Voice Response (IVR) systems. Notably, a third of millennials prefer efficient self-service over speaking with a call agent on the phone.
  3. Meeting Customers Where They Are: In today’s diverse communication landscape, customers expect businesses to interact with them through their preferred channels and devices.

Apart from these core elements, customer behavior and purchasing habits exhibit the following characteristics:

  • Customers may switch communication channels and devices during their journey.
  • While many generations prefer phone contact, they dislike being trapped in IVR systems.
  • Cable/satellite providers, retail banks, and retailers have reported customer churn due to poor support experiences, highlighting the importance of excellent customer service.
  • Customers appreciate self-service options when they are predictive and valuable.
  • Younger generations, in particular, favour mobile interactions.
  • Most customers are willing to share data as long as it serves a purpose.

Crafting Your Customer Experience Strategy

Meeting high customer expectations is paramount, and achieving this requires taking a customer-centric approach. Begin by mapping out your customer’s journey from their perspective, focusing on the following stages:

  1. Marketing: Assess the effectiveness of your communication channels in generating leads for your products and services.
  2. Warm Leads: Identify when customers start engaging with your company and its representatives.
  3. Initial Interactions After Expressing Interest: Analyze how customers contact you—through contact forms, phone, email, chat, or text.
  4. Conversions: Monitor how warm leads progress to sales and the mechanisms driving this conversion.
  5. Post-Sales Follow-up: Identify post-sale touchpoints, such as automated satisfaction surveys, follow-up calls, or email automation, and assess their impact on customer relationships.

Throughout the customer journey, continually gauge the customer’s sentiment regarding their experience. If feedback at any stage falls short of excellence, use it as an opportunity for improvement. Ask yourself questions such as:

  • Are customers struggling with your IVR system?
  • Do your call center agents require additional training?
  • Are most issues resolved during the first contact?
  • Are customers experiencing long hold times?
  • Are you aware of the communication channels your customers prefer?
  • Are your contact centers mobile-friendly for customers?

Answers to these questions will guide you in implementing actionable improvements to enhance the customer experience. Utilize call center analytics to measure the impact of these improvements.

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Personalising the Customer Support Experience

In an era where customers have countless options for products and services, a superior customer experience distinguishes your company as the preferred choice. Here are tips to create a personalised framework that supports exceptional customer experiences before and after sales:

Pre-Sales:

  1. Craft a Customer-Centric Vision: Base your approach on the needs expressed by customers in their feedback.
  2. Use Caller Information: Utilize caller ID to address customers by name and establish a personal connection.
  3. Train Responsive Agents: Equip call center agents to have natural, engaging conversations, avoiding robotic or overly scripted interactions.
  4. Leverage Self-Service Solutions: Implement self-service options like IVR and knowledge bases, ensuring they are efficient and helpful.
  5. Embrace Multiple Communication Channels: Offer customers various options, such as chat, email, text, and phone support, to cater to their preferred methods.

Post-Sales:

  1. Create Detailed Customer Profiles: Populate your CRM with as much information as possible, allowing for highly personalised interactions. Remember to note preferred names and any additional relevant details.
  2. Gather Customer Feedback: Employ automated surveys to collect feedback and take prompt action on areas that need improvement.
  3. Collaborate with Agents: Engage your call center agents for feedback, as they have insights into recurring issues and positive feedback.
  4. Explore Distributed Teams: Consider setting up distributed teams to access a broader talent pool.
  5. Identify Cross-Selling Opportunities: Use your CRM system to pinpoint chances for cross-selling, upselling, add-ons, and referrals.

Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to providing excellent customer service. The key is ensuring your call center agents put their best foot forward and treat customers as valuable individuals.

Customer Retention

The objective of customer retention programs is to keep customers satisfied and cultivate brand loyalty. Focusing on the personalised customer service enables you to retain customers from the initial contact throughout the entire relationship. To personalise your customer experience program for enhanced retention efforts, consider implementing the following strategies:

  • Employ Active Listening: Develop active listening skills to better understand customer concerns.
  • Use Clear and Simple Language: Communicate with customers using terms they understand, avoiding excessive technical jargon.
  • Anticipate Customer Needs: Proactively identify customer needs and offer solutions or additional products.
  • Exceed Expectations: Strive to surpass customer expectations in every interaction.
  • Show Empathy: Display empathy when dealing with unhappy or frustrated customers.
  • Offer Incentives: When appropriate, provide discounts, coupons, or refunds to appease dissatisfied customers.
  • Maintain Follow-Up: Follow up with customers as promised to demonstrate your commitment to their satisfaction.

Envision the response you would desire if you were in the customer’s shoes.

Measuring ROI on Personalization for Customer Loyalty

To evaluate your return on investment (ROI) concerning customer loyalty, it’s crucial to rely on measurable data. However, consolidating data from various software programs can be time-consuming. This is where an Aircall cloud phone system becomes invaluable. With Aircall not only our systems offer a comprehensive set of phone system features but it also integrates with CRM platforms and other programs within the Aircall App Marketplace, providing unified analytics.

A modern phone system and integrated software solutions work in tandem to empower your call center agents to deliver excellent personalised customer experiences. The system also furnishes you with the necessary metrics to assess the success of your customer experience strategies. When you successfully create a remarkable customer experience, it benefits both your customers and your business.

Personalising the customer support experience is a multi-faceted process that encompasses understanding customer behavior, implementing personalised strategies, and continuously measuring and improving. By focusing on personalisation, businesses can build trust, motivate customer action, enhance engagement, improve retention, and foster loyalty, resulting in a more loyal customer base and long-term success.

Gaza War: Fear the Wrath of the Hebrew God

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Some say the God of the Muslims is fearsome, others say the Christian God is even more fearsome, however the wrath of the Hebrew God is the most to be feared at the moment.

Here are people who have feared for their lives for centuries, for thousands of years have been persecuted and hunted down. There is no doubt that the Hebrew God is the most fearsome when he is awakened. First he waits to see the actions of the enemies of his people, he sees the atrocities committed upon them, and from there he gauges how much power and level of force must be unleashed via the universal karmic conduit.

When it comes to the current Gaza war there is no distinction between women; babies, young children, the elderly, the sick, the disabled and the healthy, they all get bombed, for this is the wrath of a God who according to the myths of ages even made Egyptian Pharaohs cry into their papyrus parchments. As much as the tenth plague of Egypt revealed the true wrath of the Hebrew God, so it is today that YHVH brings upon a pestilence and almighty tempest onto the Palestinians and their overlord terrorist group Hamas hiding in tunnels like cowardly rats using the Palestinian people as human shields. The Egyptian Gods were no match for the Hebrew God. The Hamas terrorist organisation, backed by Russia, Iran and China effectively has declared that their wish is to wipe out every single Jew from the land gifted to them, which of course is disputed land, although it is indeed called Israel and has been called Israel for thousands of years.

Early Christians had to first convert to Judaism before becoming Christians, therefore one could postulate that the Hebrew God is also the same God as the Christians, albeit with different Messiahs.

When one says God, ultimately each religious point of reference or culture is different, therefore their Gods are different, however the term God is a possible description for the collective energy of a nation or religious belief, or a form of universal frequency. Some religions bring forth idol worship for their Gods or Messiahs, others like the Muslims forbid the worship of a human image.

Well, we have now seen the wrath of the Hebrew God on the people of Gaza, what may emerge is an even more powerful vengeful entity with the Muslim God, or even the Chinese God which is at the moment the Communist leader, seeing as communism is a religion in itself.

Does God value technology? Certainly, in the case of meting out punishment the advanced technology of the Hebrew God is indeed fearsome thanks to billions of military aid from the USA, but there is one minor detail — there are only 15 million Jews in the world today, and only 7 million in Israel. This is a small fraction of the amount of Muslims there are, or even the Christians. Almost 24% of the global population, making up 1.8 billion people, follow the Islamic religion. This is possibly why the Hebrew God is showing such wrath as of late, because it has to do with this, it has to bark back loudly otherwise it will simply be overrun by the hordes. This is another brutal fight for survival, after yet another brutal attack on the people of Judea.

Whichever religion wins the war does not even matter, it is inconsequential, and even if there is total destruction of all sides in the war, it still does not matter. The universe will carry on whether the Hebrew, Muslim, Christian or even Hindu Gods and Goddesses are all eradicated. That’s because humans need a God, but God or the universe does not necessarily need humans.

R.I.P to the Press cameraman and doctor in the video below.

US Economy Recession: Sleepy Joe Goes Back to Bed

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Sleepy Joe does not understand things like economics or complicated concepts like that. He is just a person who wants to sleep, he is old and tired of it all. He is also tired of being a part of Obama’s third term in office. Who can blame sleepy Joe, as the Dow Jones drops another 600 points daily — that kind of thing is least from his frazzled empty mind.

biden cryptoSleepy Joe has very basic thoughts these days, and they extend to reading his teleprompter or written speeches. Sometimes he does not know what the words mean he is told to say, but poor Joe says them anyway because all he’s thinking of is having a nice cup of warm soup, sitting in his favourite chair and staring into thin air for hours on end. This is a comfort for Sleepy Joe as every day his old bones ache, and his mind is just empty.

Sometimes Joe tries to remember where he is and how he got there, but like everything else it is all blank, and to some extent he feels comfort in not remembering. It is better to just forget everything and let it be, just like the people in Gaza dying from starvation and the slaughtered Jews, these are things better forgotten.

biden nap

The Nasdaq just fell another 1,000 points, never mind, it is best to stare into thin air and drool on to the carpet. Sometimes Joe has flashes of events in his depleted mind, images of showers he had with some young girl, who was it? There ain’t much joy in Sleepy Joe’s life anymore but that’s okay, he just doesn’t care anymore, and that’s why the global economy is being ruined right now because Joe simply does not give a flying fuck.

There is no need to feel sorry for Joe, he has lived a long and sinful life and done things some people would be surprised at but oh shit, what were those things Joe did, he cannot remember, they are simply blank memories, the dendrites all depleted his brain tissue resembles the crumbled city of Gaza.

Would this all have happened under Trump? Probably not, but all is forgiven because the socialists know best and everything is okay, there is nothing to see here folks, nothing at all. Go back to bed, forget about everything.

Idiots at Unilever Finally Realise That Woke Branding Loses Money

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Unilever’s new CEO Hein Schumacher has finally woken up to the fact that his predecessor potato head Alan Jope was running the company into a smelly woke sewer, bleeding profits like a cluster of suppurating haemorrhoids.

Oh, the grand revelation, folks! Can you believe it? Hellmann’s mayo is apparently no longer the almighty saviour of the planet that we once thought it was. Instead, it’s just good old sarnie spread, not the holy grail of egg-based environmentalism we were promised!

And Dove soap? Well, it turns out it’s only useful for the mundane act of showering. Who knew? And as for Ben & Jerry’s, it’s been served a cold scoop of reality – their tasty ice cream doesn’t actually have profound insights on international conflicts or transexual rights. Sorry, folks, cookie dough can’t solve the world’s problems, you just shove it down your throat by the bucket load.

Anti-woke rescue mission

In a stunning twist of events, Hein Schumacher, the new head honcho of Unilever, has put the kibosh on the soggy Marxist wokeness that has infected the company for the past decade. He’s promising to return to the good old days of making and selling useful products instead of woke virtue signal preaching to its customers.

But, oh, what a long and arduous journey it will be to escape the treacherous tides of corporate wokery! Schumacher might find it as tough as teaching a cat to sing opera.

This change of direction is long overdue, to say the least. Unilever has been trailing behind its competitors for years, its previous numbskull CEO Alan Jope thankfully got the boot, and shareholders were none too pleased with the virtue signalling. Even Nelson Peltz, the American corporate raider, hopped on board.

Schumacher finally admitted that not every brand needs to save the world or push a social purpose. What a shocker! He must have discovered that Magnum ice creams aren’t the answer to saving rainforests after all. He does not want to repeat the same death dive to the bottom as exhibited by Anheuser-Busch.

Unfortunately, Unilever’s share price has been taking a leisurely stroll downhill, unlike its competitors like Nestlé and Procter & Gamble, who are laughing all the way to the bank. It’s been a pitiful performance, and if they continued down this path, they’d probably end up at a car boot sale for corporate raiders or private equity firms.

But Schumacher is in for a wild ride as he tries to shake off the social purpose baggage. First off, it’s embedded in the organisation like a fat fucking blood bloated tick on a dog. For years, they’ve been hiring based on political views, not merit, and promotions have been doled out for parroting the right Marxist woke slogans. Good luck trying to change that culture. The woke leftist zealots are firmly embedded and will have to be shoe-horned out.

Go woke, go …

Then there’s the problem of forgetting how to sell stuff. Unilever has been so busy preaching woke moral leadership that they’ve forgotten the basics of brand building. They’re not launching new products, extending their existing brands, or utilising new media effectively.

And to top it off, they sold Dollar Shave Club, which they bought for a billion dollars seven years ago, for practically nothing. Meanwhile, their rival Harry’s is still shaving away profits. Looks like their marketing muscles have been replaced by diarrhoea.

The backlash against corporate wokery is in full swing, and Unilever is the latest to jump off the fake diversity bandwagon. Finally, they’ve realised that their average customer just wants to look good and slim, not be preached about social justice issues. It’s about fucking time, folks!

But turning back the clock to when Unilever made things “whiter and tastier” won’t happen overnight. It’ll be a long and bumpy road, and shareholders shouldn’t hold their breath for quick returns. So, here’s to the return of practical products, and goodbye to the days of mayonnaise-inspired far left woke anti-capitalist virtue-signalling tin-pot socialist money-losing dreams!

Feudal Tech Overlords Thank Vassals For Inhabiting Their Cloud

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Capitalists are now vassals to the feudal tech overlords, as much as the exploited peasants are within a parasitic tech cloud system that has no rivals or competition. Europe, including the UK has no equal to the monopolies of the US feudal tech overlords, who have become so powerful with their monopoly that even governments and capitalist industrialists within the physical world are completely under the arm of the tech feudalists. The only vague competitors are the communist Chinese tech feudal overlords, who are invariably part of the Chinese communist state, who are oddly utilising a pseudo form of capitalism.

Ruling over the peasants

The tech feudal overlords have not only created an all-powerful monopoly but have also created a mind prison for the peasants who happily sign up to their services.

“Our power is unrivalled in the West. We have the power to win elections for the political party that pays us the most amount of cash or gives us the most leeway to conduct our monopoly feudal operations. We do not pay tax because we are part of the feudal cloud. We do not heed any laws that physical businesses have to abide by. We are your feudal overlords, and you are our vassals to be exploited for our profit and gain,” a feudal overlord said from one of his mansions.

We are essentially now living in a post capitalist era ruled by tech feudal dictators, control freaks, totalitarian censorious monopolies who want to dictate what you think, what you buy, what you say or do and who you vote for in elections.

Parisian Bedbugs are Rude, Arrogant Yet Quite Stylish

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Honh! Honh! Honh! Mes amis, the Parisian bedbugs have been causing havoc in the esteemed capital city of La France. Just like their human counterparts in the busy bustling city, they are rude as fuck, arrogant yet strangely quite stylish.

The bedbugs infesting Parisian hotels, as told by Russian hackers who spread the rumours, are totally arrogant and demanding. They inhabit Parisian mattresses by the million and dine every night on human wine (blood). Currently, the internet and social media hysteria about Parisian bedbugs is at fever pitch, and the Russian bots are spreading the news far and wide to cause as much chaos as possible.

Bedbugs are insects from the genus [Cimex] that feed on blood, usually at night. Their bites can result in a number of health impacts including skin rashes, psychological effects, and allergy|allergic symptoms. Bed bug bites may lead to skin changes ranging from small areas of redness to prominent blisters. Bed bug bites are caused primarily by two species of insects: [Cimex lectularius] (the common bed bug) and Cimex hemipterus, found primarily in the tropics.

An American tourist staying at a Parisian hotel on the left bank recalled his nightmare encounter with a huge bedbug in his hotel room one fateful night.

“I was sipping some wine lying on the bed when up comes Monsieur Bedbug, a huge fucking bug wearing a beret and touting a large moustache.”

“Ah, Monsieur Yankee, I see you are sipping our merveilleux vin Français that only French vineyards can produce. I have tasted your vin d’eau de pisse de Californie, it tastes like d’urine de chat mort. Maintenant, I will suck your blood you Yankee swine. Ce n’est pas négociable, you better shut up and give me your blood. Idiot.”

“Monsieur Bedbug then asked me where my wife was and how he would particularly enjoy the pleasures of her flesh.”

Vive les punaises de lit Françaises…

Where Did Decades of Foreign Aid Billions to Palestinians Go?

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For 75 years the Palestinians have received billions of dollars of foreign aid, and instead of using that money to build up amazing cities, infrastructure, utilities, skyscrapers and roads, they have squandered everything to stay in squalid conditions constantly moaning about their loss of land and their desire to commit genocide on Jews. Was this victim attitude worth it?

The Palestinians, have received about $37.2 billion in development aid (in constant dollars) between 1994 and 2017, according to the OECD. The Palestinians have been receiving $1.7 billion a year from international donors for 75 years, and in 2017 foreign aid equalled $451 per capita for the Palestinians.

Where did all the foreign aid billions go?

“Nobody knows. That is a simple fact. Gaza and the West Bank is still a dusty broken crumbling place with high unemployment, no prospects and no basic amenities. Someone, somewhere, should possibly ask questions about where the foreign aid money went, but I doubt it will ever happen,” one concerned citizen asked.

Instead, the tyranny and dictatorship of a terrorist group like Hamas is a profound curse upon the Palestinian people. Hamas has brought only ruin, terror and death to the Palestinian people, using foreign aid meant for development to create tin-pot rocket factories that are shot into Israeli airspace where they are routinely shot down by Iron Dome defences. Hamas is also using the Palestinian people as human shields, cannon fodder to hide behind. The cowardly Hamas terrorist group are nothing more than a parasite on the back of the Palestinian people, sucking out their blood and every cent from foreign aid.

The Palestinians could have built up a real administrative government, a functioning public transport system, airports, economy, and a real military force with an air force as a form of defence. Instead, they squandered every dollar on whining, moaning and vindictive revenge rockets.

Maybe one day the Palestinians will stop their collective moaning delving in past defeats and actually build up their enclaves properly. If they had done that for 75 years instead of being paralysed by remorse and vowing revenge, they would have had incredible cities, vibrant economies and at least some kind of future.

California Laws Allowing Shoplifting Rampage Free-for-all

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“Thanks to the California laws we can now take anything we want from stores and no one gets arrested, and we never receive any repercussions” Jade Rumbone, 26, a professional shoplifter from Sacramento revealed to CNN. Shoplifting is now endemic in California, where gangs of ‘young people’ inundate and ransack stores on a regular basis.

“If I need anything, I just call my crew up and we get to work. We can make easy $4000 per day each in goods which we either re-sell or use. Cops just watch us, because it is the new California law, and no one has ever been arrested. Man, it is beautiful. Easiest money I ever made,” Rumbone added, and who can blame him?

It seems the lax California laws are created by socialists who do not value law and order or support businesses.

Entering an open business with the intent to steal less than $950 worth of property is shoplifting under California state law (Penal Code 495.5). Shoplifting is usually treated as a minor misdemeanour  — if you are ever caught, which no one ever is. Law enforcement probably won’t bother to investigate, and if they do, prosecutors will let it go.

“Each store, we just keep to the $950 threshold each. If we have a crew of 50, and we visit three or four stores per day, it is all pure profit. This is a legitimate business, and we invite anyone who is having financial hardship due to the cost of living to come to California. It’s nearly impossible to get arrested, we are in and out in minutes,” Rumbone revealed.

In San Francisco, shoplifting is now so prolific that it is not called shoplifting anymore.

“We call it ‘free grabs’ like ‘Bud, I’m gonna do some free grabs, I need new jeans and the latest iPhone, wanna tag along wit me?’ Anything you want is there to be taken, and we can mass rampage any store in seconds,” a shoplifter from San Francisco revealed.

How it is done 

  • Reconnaissance: First the target store is scoped and mapped out. Top items are located and other top ticket items depending on each store layout.
  • Organisation: Group is assembled via TikTok, WhatsApp or other social media. Times and dates are arranged.
  • Deployment: Shoplifting rampage is implemented and at some stores timed. Some more professional groups can be in and out of a store in less than three minutes, cleaning out thousands of dollars worth of goods.
  • Distribution: Stolen items are either sold online or distributed throughout the community, making some individuals and groups huge profits.

“This is the best business to be in right now. Acquisition, we call it. It’s free and easy. It is a win-win situation and is literally changing the lives of people. Thank you, California laws, you are the best state in the USA. I love liberals,” another shoplifter said from his living room full of stolen goods.

Californian Senator, Julia Gibbersmei, defended Californian laws on shoplifting on Wednesday.

“This is good for the economy. You can now walk into any store and take what you want without fear of arrest or prosecution. We are invigorating the economy because these people who take the items for free then go on to sell the stolen goods, and the money they make is spent in the economy.”

 

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