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Experts: Why Pigeonholing is Biggest Human Crime

Max Zorin
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3
Experts: Why Pigeonholing is Biggest Human Crime

Pigeonholing people into certain groups is one of human society’s biggest crimes so says a non labelling entity with no political, class, profession or social affiliation.

“You are this or that. You are a Republican or Liberal as the pigeon hole Americans put it. Black or white. You are a dentist, you are a street cleaner. These are crimes against the infinite nature of humans whose potential transcends all boundaries.

“You are a Conservative or Socialist, you are in the middle, let’s just say stuck in the middle Liberal Democrat. You are a Hipster, you are a Punk.

“You are an Atheist, Christian, Evangelist, Muslim, Wahabi, Hindu, Buddhist, Jew? What about being a human?

“Because society has stringent rules to label people in all factions and groups, it is a rarity to see anyone who is everything at the same time. And why not? Why can’t we as humans be everything, why be limited to only a few ways?

“Even labelling yourself as nothing or everything is in a sense a label but what is this stupid human notion and desire to label, to file things in a box, to limit through linguistic and mathematical functions?

“Who is to say one cannot feel sadness and happiness at the same time? Who is to say one cannot speak with an American twang one second then revert to received pronunciation the next? Who is to say one cannot play Mozart then Motorhead the next or maybe at the same time?

“Humans should therefore not be pigeonholed. You have dark skin you have light skin, these aspects of one’s genetic make up are prescribed at conception, but should not limit the human soul in its infinite mass?

“You are human, you are a dog, a cat, a chinchilla, a Great White shark. You are a mere molecule in the universe.”

Tech Talk: Apple Watch Review

Max Zorin
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0
Tech Talk: Apple Watch Review

 

Our reporter asked the man how he acquired the Apple Watch, the fact that the man was brandishing a machete at the time did not spark any questions from the reporter, who was later fired for being a dimbleweed.

After prying off the watch from the hand, we were careful to use gloves during the process. It really is an astounding piece of tech.

For starters it tells the time, which is an important function for a watch, it also does quirky things like tell you the date, and you can store pictures on it.

That’s about all we found out I’m afraid because the electronics within the Apple Watch stopped working after half an hour due to blood getting into the circuits.

apple watch hand

The Apple Watch retails from £600 – £25,000.

Tony Blair: Why the Public Cannot Be Trusted

Max Zorin
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0
Tony Blair: Why the Public Cannot Be Trusted

“There are more of you than us, but you are stupid, poor and ignorant. This is why you are not to be trusted and why you have to vote Labour to deny a vote in an EU referendum. This year I made £75 million tax free dealing with despots, dictators and killers, and I enjoy my ill gotten gains while you, the public are nothing but poor people with no say, no understanding of anything and deserve every injustice meted upon yourselves.

“Vote Labour so we can punish you further, you are so stupid you will think we are helping you. We will have big smiles on our fucking faces as we embrace you, the stupid ignorant flock who we have nothing but disdain and hatred for.

“The Labour hierarchy model themselves on me, a man who fleeced the taxpayer for every single penny, and when you vote for Labour again, we will this time finish the job, you slime ridden plebs. Just watch the deficit quadruple.

Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood Clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather The multitudinous seas incarnadine, Making the green one red.
Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood
Clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather
The multitudinous seas incarnadine,
Making the green one red.

“Ed needs a new mansion with five kitchens this time, and you voters need to vote for that. Eh, did you know that I’m part Scottish, and my arch nemesis Broon was full Scots. Well, you dumb English voters, you’re going to vote Labour so we can break up the United Kingdom once and for all, and not only that, the Scots will have full powers to dictate English laws, bring in a deep fried mars bar law requiring the English scunners to pay the Scots to eat them all fucking day.

“You know during my time as PM I presided over a period of great conquest. Over 5 million Iraqis and Afghans died under my watch, but it was not enough, we never finished the job so that’s why I became a Middle East peace envoy. I just couldn’t get enough, every day I would look through the daily death figures and they had to install a drool bucket in my office.

Tony Blair Iraqi Child

“This is why you have to vote Labour, because you are either an uneducated, ignorant unemployable swine, or a champagne socialist pig in the trough, or just a mass murdering killer like me.

“You will go to the polls in May, and you will tick the Labour box, because we have hypnotised you through the media to do so. You have no mind of your own, you cannot be trusted to make a decision, so you will vote Labour and we will thoroughly enjoy rogering you hard for the next ten years thereafter.

“Enjoy the hell you have created through your own voting. The voters deserve everything they get, and we will this time take Britain into the Euro Zone and abolish the Pound Sterling. The Royal family will be further marginalised, especially when the UK is broken up, eventually leading to their abolishment.

England
England

“Labour does not want private business, or private ownership of property, we only see a collectivist strategy where all private property is absorbed into public ownership. This way, only the elite party members have the goodies and the rest of the proletariat are poverty ridden slaves.

“Vote Labour and you will get this and more you dumbed down ignorant twats.”

Think Tank: Greece Turning to Russia Spells Trouble For Region

Max Zorin
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1
Think Tank: Greece Turning to Russia Spells Trouble For Region

“The EU is caught between a rock and a hard place. The Greeks with their many threats and acts of blackmail are a sign that there is no love between the EU and Greece, however the threat of turning towards Russia is of great concern to NATO and the European Union.

“Already the Greeks are allowing Russian warships to dock in Southern Cyprus, and there are further threats to open up ports in mainland Greece.

“Talk of war is rife amongst the heavily indebted Greeks who possibly plan on utilising the Russians to invade Turkey, which as a NATO ally is still reviled by the Greeks. This action alone would cause a dilemma for NATO as would involve two NATO members embroiled in a military conflict, with one backed by Russia.

“The geopolitical threat to the Mediterranean region could be insurmountable if the Russians gain warm water ports and as much as the traitorous Greeks ally with Putin, war within the Balkans could easily spread towards other European nations.”

Near Miss: Pope Seen Flying Under Passenger Plane

Max Zorin
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0
Near Miss: Pope Seen Flying Under Passenger Plane

In what may seem as an Easter message of hope to the world, the Pope was seen flying at high speed over Paris this morning at 10.30 by passengers on a British Airways flight, BA 666 from London, England to Rome, Italy.

“I had just finished breakfast when I looked out the window. There he was, the Pope in all his glory, he must’ve been travelling at over 400 miles per hour, and we were at 29,000 feet. All the passengers started cheering as he flew around the plane, then departed downwards,” Nigel Winterbottom, 34, a professional photographer told the BBC.

The pilot of the BA plane, Captain Andrew Pelmarsten, addressed the passengers telling them that there was nothing to worry about, the Pope enjoys flying on his magic carpet and is a regular sight. Air traffic control was naturally notified prior to the flyby incident.

Think Tank: Disarm Americans Through the Church

Max Zorin
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5

“The Christian church will be utilised to disarm Americans across the nation as they will be told to put down their guns for Christ.

“Pastors across the country are getting ready to tell their flocks to hand their guns in to be scrapped. Americans are devoutly Christian, some even creating their own bastardised versions of Christianity like Mormonism, but the real clincher is that religion is a human construct and will be used to achieve goals set by the state for whatever agenda is required.

“They won’t listen to Obama or anyone else but they’ll listen to their pastor when he tells the congregation to hand over their guns. For Americans, their church leaders telling them to do stuff is an act of God such is the level of religious brainwashing over the generations.

Submit

“The same technique will be utilised when the government introduces microchipping to the population. By using what the pliant masses are used to to make people accept new conditions, the church is an invaluable tool for introduction to governmental directives.

“Religion spurs the American population on, especially in times of war where they are told they are fighting for Christianity when going into battle. Their unquestioning beliefs are paramount to implementation of the gun control agenda and should be exploited to the full.

“The Christian church cannot exist without the state, it is therefore deemed an arm of the state, and it is to this end that it will be used to disarm American citizens and eventually get them chipped, for their own good of course and in the service of the Lord.”

We Buy All Unused Bank Notes

Max Zorin
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0
We Buy All Unused Bank Notes

 Spring Clean

Well, here at the Daily Squib, we have come up with a good solution to your space problem. We’ll buy your bank notes from you so that your home or bank vault can look spick and span.

By selling off those unused bank notes your place will look real tidy, good enough to refurnish the space with whatever you want to put in its place, maybe an old armchair or a sparse table.

HOW IT WORKS

1) You sell us your bank notes and we buy them.

2) Our prices for your old unwanted bank notes are very competitive.

£5 we’ll give you 5 pence

£10 we’ll give you 10 pence

£20 we’ll give you 20 pence

£50 we’ll give you 50 pence

3) All you need to do is get the bundles of useless, tiresome notes together in a carrier bag or suitcase, then contact us so a certified cashier visits your property and relieves you of the terrible waste of space. Soon, all those meddlesome bank notes clogging up your home will be gone.

Phone 0870 000 000 000 (Calls cost £350/second) to get your house or bank vault cleared out in a jiffy.

April Fools : Day Off For Squib Staff

Max Zorin
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0
April Fools : Day Off For Squib Staff

It’s our annual day off on April Fools day.

This is the only day we get off in the whole year. The staff at the Daily Squib would like to thank our readers for a great year and we should be back tomorrow if the hang overs are not too bad.

Corporate Business People Start Own Music Service

Max Zorin
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1
Corporate Business People Start Own Music Service

 

 

Styling themselves as the ‘next big thing’ the people even went as far as to call themselves ‘artists’ but anyone with any form of logic or reality would know better.

Exploit

“Our logo is an inverted triangle if you connect the outer edges. This is trying to denote that we are not the usual bottom to top triangle as is usually the case but otherwise. In reality we ourselves are corporate whores who have watched our masters and want to emulate them by becoming corporate arseholes ourselves. This new music service will trick consumers into paying for more banal corporate material in the guise of being from the ‘artist’ which we certainly are not. That’s why you, a sucker who is into autotuned template RnB shite and sub standard pap can pay us £20 a month. Alternatively, you can just buy a subscription for one month, record all the music you can through audio capture or download everything for free off the internet. Hey, we need to keep our mansions going, somebody gotta pay,” corporate rapper, Jay Z told his audience at the launch.

In other news, real artists are staying away and letting these loons make fools of themselves.

Besieged ‘English English’ and Their Silent March to Elysium

Max Zorin
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0
Besieged ‘English English’ and Their Silent March to Elysium

 

Sir Roger Moore, the quintessential Englishman, is of a dying breed that is being stamped out in a silent death march to oblivion and although there are minor squeaks of discontent here or there, the stiff upper lipped silence is deafening.

“Real English people, you know those who have ancestors going back thousands of years, are retreating, in a silent manner, away from the cataclysmic influx. They rarely mingle with the migrants, due to fear, disdain and their desire to stay amongst their own. The same applies to employment in businesses and companies, where the ‘English English’ have their CVs looked at whilst the rest are put in the bin, something that is kept very quiet and never mentioned. There is a quiet code no one talks about, it’s not in the main stream media, or the BBC, where token migrants are paraded around to read news stories, the quiet code states that the core English community is very far apart from the rest, and it does not need to be class distinctive either, the English working classes have had to deal with the brunt of the influx, but they have kept their distance from the migrants. The Upper and Middle classes have been somewhat cushioned but are seeing the changes to their country every day, and they do not like it,” an Englishman said anonymously from his besieged castle outside the capital.

There is a sadness that the country which they have known and fought for for thousands of years is no more. What can the embattled English do?

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