17.7 C
London
Sunday, January 18, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 381

Experts: No Such Thing As ‘No Deal’ it is a ‘Clean Brexit’

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
Experts: No Such Thing As ‘No Deal’ it is a ‘Clean Brexit’

The doomsayers and fear mongers may have the headlines about a so-called ‘Bad Brexit’ however those with clearer heads think otherwise.

The term ‘Bad Brexit’ was created by Remainers and anti-Brexit lobbyists. For Brexiteers however this would be termed as a ‘Clean Brexit’, or simply what most of us voted for, a ‘Brexit’.

One must understand that if Brexiteers had been in charge of negotiations, they would have seen the signs early that Brussels was not willing to negotiate in a gentlemanly manner, and would have conducted a Clean Brexit with clinical precision. Unfortunately, Britain was struck by treachery from within and lumped with Remainers in key roles.

Clean Brexit

What does a ‘Clean Brexit’ mean? Quite simple really, Britain would be out of the EU, trade on WTO rules, and would not pay the EU the full amount that they demand as blood money. Seeing as there would be no deals made with the vindictive petulant EU, the UK would not have to honour anything with them. This is fine with Brexiteers because they simply want to leave.

Eventually, EU rules, laws and regulations would be purged from the system, but this would naturally take some time.

The UK would go through some period of change, but this would be normal. There is no time in history where a change in system did not have its ups and downs.

Britain would lower taxes, not only for business, but for all, including VAT, which is an EU stipulation. Many businesses worldwide would be enticed to Britain with lower corporation and business taxes making it a safe haven within Europe.

People would eventually see the costs of their groceries normalising, and their everyday costs for living lowering. Previously, the EU made the price of goods, and clothing increase in price, but when the UK leaves the EU, there will be a substantial drop in costs as many businesses will not be paying the enormous markup costs designated by the EU.

Gain our sovereignty back

Farming and agriculture would flourish as they would not be held back by ridiculous EU regulations, as would the UK fishing industry when it reclaims British waters, safeguarded by the Royal Navy.

There would not be any large payments to Brussels anymore, to be eaten up into a massive black hole spent on extravagant EU projects that only furnish the French or German companies completing them. Neither would British taxpayer money be sucked into the Greek debt hole where money disappears never to be seen again.

The UK will not have to join the EU army, which is nothing but an extension of the Third Reich, and neither will we have to take in millions more of EU migrants thus securing our borders and only taking in those who meet the correct criteria.

Having a ‘Clean Brexit’ is the ideal solution and would be the best thing for the UK. Once free, Britain can once again forge its own way, sail the high seas and do what Britannia has been doing for thousands of years — out of the EU.

Is Conservatism and Libertarianism the New Punk?

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
Is Conservatism and Libertarianism the New Punk?

These days, anyone who dares to call themselves a conservative or libertarian, are immediately shut down and hounded out of public society. This is why, conservatives and those seeking liberty are the new outcasts, the new punks.

Punk, the anti-authoritarian sub-culture came out of nowhere in the 1970s and was a musical genre with a ‘f you’ attitude, and espoused freedom from the chains of establishment authoritarian structures curtailing freedom.

 

Although Punk was left-leaning, anarchistic, it has many similarities to the conservative and libertarian movement today which is fighting an authoritarian media structure that inhibits freedom of speech, censors widely and is totalitarian.

To study what is going on today with the shutting down of anything that questions the socialist media entities is in itself dangerous, because algorithms on the internet cannot distinguish social commentary to actual conservative or libertarian dissent. These algorithms were created by socialist tech workers who abhor any political ideology other than socialism, Marxism or communism. American socialist controlled media entities are so stupid they cannot distinguish parody/satire from a hoax. They are so uneducated and ignorant that they label all satire as a hoax. Their algorithms cannot distinguish between satire/parody/rhetoric/irony/pathos/sarcasm because the American tech people are not literate, they know nothing of literature. This is what we’re dealing here with, uneducated, stupid people in charge of large swathes of humans numbering in billions.

 

Conservative and libertarian thought is the new danger, and the new punk. They tried to shut down punk too but that never happened, it was a wild tour de force that came through the scene like a hurricane ripping everything to shreds, including the authoritarian gatekeepers and their anti-free speech, anti-art censorship drive. Eventually, punk became the de-facto genre leading the crowd during its heyday.

Socialists (U.S. Democrats, U.K. Labour) and communists are the new parents who send you to your room for listening to Iggy Pop. They’re not fun any more, they don’t have a sense of humour any more, and they’re certainly not progressive any more, they’re regressive, to the days of Stalin, Pol Pot and Chairman Mao. They have turned into miserable, moaning vindictive shisters who use mob rule and censorship to get their little power kicks. How very big of you, you censored free speech, you shit on democracy and the right to be heard.

We wish to reiterate the point that the Daily Squib is a mere mirror, we do not subscribe to any political construct left or right or centre. We are mere observers to the reality of what is going on at any time in history.

 

Think Tank: The West Must Not Let the Horror of Communist China Overcome the Globe

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
Think Tank: The West Must Not Let the Horror of Communist China Overcome the Globe

The Institute of Western Global Democracy, based in Washington D.C., has revealed a paper on the great danger coming from China, not only its communist political ideology, but its economic means to subjugate democracy through the backdoor.

Communist China a Global Threat

“What China is doing in Tibet, is indescribable. The horror, the torture of people, the destruction of a whole nation. China wants to take over the world, and it is doing so silently through economic means as well as military. These same methods of discrimination and torture are now being meted out on the Uighur people in Xinjiang province. Millions detained in Chinese gulags and re-education camps, many disappear never to be seen again.

“China has been the factory of the West for decades now, and by selling and manufacturing their cheap plastic useless trinkets they have grown economically. This growth has also fuelled their aspirations for global domination, and they have vastly modernised their military and technological capabilities, by stealing secrets from the West and adapting it to their own needs.

“Chinese colonisation of many African nations is taking over much of the continent, and taking advantage of respective governments by alluding to help building roads but using its foothold to plunder finite resources across Africa.

“Chairman Mao, a cold-blooded murderer, killed over 45 million people in less than four years, this was his Great Leap Forward. His communist ideology has no mercy, and no honour, it is steeped in the blood and bones of millions of innocent men, women and children. This is what the Chinese communist state of today stands for, and they want to not only impose their communist ideals of non-freedom on the internet but on Western democracy.

“We see this by the rise in soviet political correctness, which basically is a way of curtailing all speech, as well as mass censorship now prevalent on the internet. This is all because certain companies have been infiltrated by the Chinese and its communist ideology.

“The European Union, has also modelled itself on China, and utilises its authoritarian economic muscle as a way to ensure protectionist business practices that benefit only EU companies, mainly those of France and Germany. The Federal Republic of the EU, is a soviet dream that even Gorbachev balked at when he saw it taking shape in the 1980s.

“The most puzzling development in politics during the last decade is the apparent determination of Western European leaders to re-create the Soviet Union in Western Europe.” Mikhail Gorbachev

“It is to this effect, that the United States is now fighting back, after suffering for many years with listless, unfair trade deals that benefited only China and the EU. The current president, is bringing manufacturing back to America, something that was laughed at as impossible by the enablers of soviet China in the previous socialist American administration. To have supported such a brutal regime in itself denotes a direct endorsement of brutality.

China is further trying to destabilise the West by inundating it with synthetic drugs produced cheaply in Chinese factories. This action creates terrible problems for the population who fall into drug addiction and early death.

 

“It is certainly sad to see how China has shot itself in the foot. To go to any city or town in China, one must first navigate the dirty polluted streets where it is acceptable to defecate in the road, where dogs are slaughtered and eaten, where the air pollution is so bad that people cannot see two yards ahead. People disappear daily in China, the state makes them disappear. All it takes is one single word on the internet, or a neighbour’s report and you’re gone.

“This horrific grotesque communist regime in China has imprisoned the people. The ones who are not robots, not indoctrinated in communist ideology from birth, are in serious danger every day. How sad, that there are Western companies who have no conscience and are actively helping the Chinese state through technology to carry out their brutal regime of torture and murder.

“The West has a responsibility to save the world from China and its communist rhetoric, as well as its economic warfare. After many years of intransigence and apathy by presidents like Barack Obama, it is crucial that Donald Trump sticks to his guns and defeats the Chinese communist menace, or the whole of Western democracy will be at its mercy.

“This will be a hard war, but it is one worth fighting. To fight whole armies of brainwashed robotic communists who do not have a mind of their own, is a foreboding task, but it must be accomplished or they will one day overrun the West.”

 

Amnesty International

Human Rights

Human Rights Watch

Bodyguard Extravaganza at Labour Conference for Jewish MP

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
Bodyguard Extravaganza at Labour Conference for Jewish MP

The last remaining Jewish MP in the Labour Party after an anti-semitic purge worthy of Stalin and Hitler has taken its toll, arrived at the conference hall this year with a bodyguard troop in tow.

“Because of the danger of violence and aggression towards my person as a Jew within the Labour Party, I have been forced to hire over 200 bodyguards for today’s conference. My team are dedicated to stand up for our rights, as Jews, to attend and be members of this party without racist and anti-semitic discrimination,” Gina Horovitz, Labour MP for South Grinstead, told the conference before a number of Momentum members started shouting racist abuse at her.

After the brief speech by the Jewish MP, she was rushed off stage by her bodyguards and taken to a secure room where she watched the rest of the conference from a screen.

Labour has been embroiled in an anti-semitic argument for months now, as party leader, Jeremy Corbyn was shown to openly support terrorist groups and in no uncertain terms deny the right for Israel and Jews to exist.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn later took the podium to speak about the Jewish question.

“Comrades, I have been asked to talk about Jews and Israel (cough). My friends in Hamas, and Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade all tell me that I am doing the right thing. They even sent me a complimentary suicide vest so that one day I may use it on myself and become a martyr to the cause. I would like to reiterate to all the press and people who say I am anti-semitic, I say no, I just don’t believe Israel should exist and that all Jews should disappear off the face of the earth.”

It may be ok for Jeremy Corbyn, who does not need a bodyguard, but for others, like Jews, the story is very different.

London Primary School Runs Out of Stab Vests

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
London Primary School Runs Out of Stab Vests

Milchen Primary in Croydon, London, has run out of stab vests provided for 230 pupils, the headmistress revealed on a leaflet sent to parents.

“We are urging parents to purchase a stab vest for their child, because we cannot supply one to each student. Children who come to school without a stab vest under the current climate of Mayorship of Sadiq Khan are putting their children at severe risk.”

There has been some good news though, last week saw a drop in London shootings and stabbing murders by 0.045%.

Detective Constable, Neil Shank, in charge of the Metropolitan Police Crime Prevention Unit was contacted by the BBC at his Barbados holiday home to speak of the slight drop in crime.

“I received the fax this morning and my servant delivered it to me at the beach. It seems that London crime reduced by a fraction percentage last week. Maybe this was due to kids going back to school and terms beginning. I’m not really sure, otherwise. Excuse me, I have an appointment with a masseuse, and I am late.”

There was of course no word from the Mayor, Sadiq Khan, as usual, on the measures his office will take to reduce the mass killings.

 

Why Europe Should Be Your Next Travel Destination

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
Why Europe Should Be Your Next Travel Destination

Today, practically everyone has his or her own #travelgoals. This is why Europe should be the first travel destination.

These goals take all forms, and may involve many possible destinations. For many, the most important considerations for a choice of destination are budget, convenience, and perhaps the proximity of the destination. Looking for a place to stay? Yes, most travelers consider that a problem, too. Of course, all of those are pretty important, but if fulfilling real goals are what you want, then maybe you shouldn’t limit yourself too much. (Advanced tip, though. If you’re setting a plan travel to Europe, get Expedia deals. You won’t regret it.)

When fulfilling goals, many people tend to forget the need to dream big, and this is true even for travel. People like to settle for ‘less’, contenting themselves with trips that won’t take them too far away, won’t give them experiences that are too new, and basically rob themselves of a trip that just might change their lives forever.

While all this might sound overly dramatic, you can’t help but admit that it is true. For the brave and the bold, however, it would really be an excellent idea if you try visiting Europe. True, it might mean spending more than you usually spend, or learning more cultural information than the usual “don’t-talk-when-your-mouth-is-full” sort of rules. A trip to Europe will definitely ask you to leave your comfort zone. But, in a delightful way, a trip to Europe makes it worth the risk, too.

Reasons Why You’ll Love Europe

Love Europe for its rich historical heritage. What do you think do Socrates, the Roman Coliseum, and a medieval Cathedral have in common? You can probably think of other similarities, but focus on this one for now: they’re all from Europe. And because of that, you can see why Europe somehow screams history. Your visit to each country and city will certainly feel like breathing in the ancients – a treat which you aren’t likely to experience anywhere else.

Love Europe for its trains. This is especially lovable if you happen to come from a city or country where, to get to the nearby country, you need to fly. In Europe, you will have the joy of encountering a stark difference in culture and language by simply taking the train to the next destination. And oh, the views are spectacular, too. What this means, then, is that for an hour’s ride on the train, you are basically setting yourself up for a new experience each time.

Love Europe for its food. Yes, yes, you can very well that where food is concerned, no other place will ever compare to home. The thing is, nobody’s necessarily disagreeing with you. The point, however, is simply to try out whatever it is that Europe has in store for you, gastronomically speaking. And it’s definitely no small thing, what Europe has to offer. With food options that range from pizza, pasta, breads, seafood, down to warm chocolates, you’ll eventually realize that eating is not a chore in Europe. It’s a full experience.

Love Europe for its picturesque cities. You’ve probably had friends and colleagues who have had the opportunity to visit Europe. You’ve probably seen the postcards, heard the stories, and witnessed how their faces lit up while remembering what it felt like to be in European cities. If you try it out for yourself, you’re bound to realize that these cities – Berlin, Barcelona, Florence, Amsterdam, to name a few – are truly beyond the best of your imaginings.

Love Europe for its art. Apart from being undeniably picturesque, Europe is also home to countless museums and havens for preserving and nurturing creativity. If you’re the kind of person who breathes in times of fresh inspiration, then without a doubt, Europe is the place for you. If you’re the kind of person who loves music, on the other hand, check out the open parks where free concerts are held by amazing performers. For those who love films, Europe also boasts of parks that feature wide open spaces where you get to watch your favorite movies, too. All in all, it’s impossible not to see how artists and art-loving people will surely find a home (no matter how temporary) in Europe.

Conclusion

So, it all comes down to this. This might have begun on the note of how going on vacation also means going boldly, especially when it comes to choosing your next destination. However, the discussion has clearly evolved, from simply making bold choices to ultimately presenting you with Europe as THE choice. True enough, choosing Europe will not only give you a vacation worth remembering, but also a vacation you’ll want to have again, and sooner rather than later.

In the end, the final decision is in your hands, but of course, with the reasons you’re now armed with, it’s obviously an easy one to make.

New Film: The Silencing of James Woods

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
New Film: The Silencing of James Woods

James Woods is a DS favourite. We love this guy, he is so gritty, he is such a real person, and the films he has starred in have always been like seriously added to by his own presence.

James, the sleazeball pimp in Casino, a short role but he played the part perfectly, James in Once Upon a Time in America, the Jewish hoodlum who grew up on the streets and died on them too, James in Salvador, the war photographer who witnesses the true horror…of war.

We could go on, but James Woods is the quintessential character who may be the bad guy in most of his roles, but he’s the conflicted bad guy, because he’s got a good side to him as well. That’s what makes James Woods for the Daily Squib staff, a highly respected actor and we feel that his latest film role reveals a world which we hope no one has to ever experience.

Erased

The film starts where James is a semi-retired actor living in a dystopian world where your every move is tracked, and anything you say can be censored by an extreme leftist authoritarian regime controlling all media and technology.

One day, the selfless actor puts something up on a social media site, and his account gets banned. Can you imagine that? A famous  but seriously under rated actor who has had so many successes in film being censored because he has different beliefs to the controlling group.

But this is the clincher. It’s not just happening to Woods, no, it’s happening to millions of voices, shut down and censored. Disappeared off the face of the planet, never to be seen again. This film depicts a miserable dystopian nightmare world of censorship, tech monopolies abusing their power, and worst of all, election meddling by silencing the views of one particular side of the political spectrum. Based in America, the dystopian world is an insufferable hell that Mr. James Woods is trapped in.

This creepy film really gave us the heebie jeebies. We can’t imagine a cold hard world worth living in that bad. Let us hope it never becomes a reality.

Will Mr. Woods ever break out and find freedom? The film, The Silencing of James Woods, will be released in October although only in one cinema in Alaska, and this could be cancelled at short notice.

Theresa May Plans to Win Over EU — By Dancing

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
Theresa May Plans to Win Over EU — By Dancing

Theresa May is a desperate woman. Her awful Chequers Plan has not only been rejected by most parliamentarians but to cap it all off, by the EU.

This rejection has eaten into the heart of the PM, but she plans on a very cunning plan to win over her EU masters. Dance.

By simply going to Brussels with nothing but her best tap shoes, May plans on wowing the EU consigliere with her exquisitely crafted dance moves.

“It will be like a cross between Britain’s Got Talent and a funeral, although I have to say there is not much difference between those two choices. We are hoping that the EU master-baiters will be so enthralled and mesmerised by the snake like movements of Mrs May, they will forget about the intricacies of the Northern Irish border deal and accept her BRINO deal,” Chief Remoaner in charge of Brexit, Olly Robbins told the Daily Mirror on Friday.

 

Some of the suggested dancing styles could even involve something called ‘twerking’ which is an Afro-Caribbean dance wherein the female thrusts her rear into the air and jiggles it around.

“If Theresa May twerks in front of Juncker this could cause him to vomit out his liquid lunch. It would prove a valuable distraction and we could plonk on his desk a signed Brexit deal,” Robbins added.

If the EU Was a Girlfriend She Would Be a Bunny Boiler

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
If the EU Was a Girlfriend She Would Be a Bunny Boiler

The anti-democratic EU is the equivalent of trying to leave a bunny boiler girlfriend.

We have seen over the last two years that every attempt to negotiate, to come to some mutual terms and to leave the EU is practically impossible.

What kind of deranged people are these, who will not allow a country to leave and relinquish its own sovereignty, its own laws, its own trade deals, and its own borders?

Democracy within Britain is a crucial and fundamental political ideology that ensures a just and free society that somehow is alien to the unelected officials in Brussels.

The UK is currently a prisoner to the EU and its restrictive diktats. Where 90% of the world’s countries exist outside the European Union, the UK is not being allowed out, instead it is being held captive by a federalist pseudo-Marxist union that has a serious democratic-deficit problem.

Breaking up is never easy in a relationship, but most are amicable. The few that are not, ultimately reveal the underlying personality of the person or entity that is the one who was rejected. The EU, in this case, is vindictive, plays nasty little games, and is completely without any honour, justice or democracy.

The EU is Glenn Close in the film ‘Fatal Attraction’, and its boiling so many bunnies right now, that anyone with any logic or reasoning power can see that the only way out is to cut the cord completely.

We must cut the cord, we must extricate ourselves and resume our sovereign right to rule ourselves as we have been doing for thousands of years. Britain’s rich history must not be tainted by becoming a vassal state, a mere zone for the EU, and its predominant cash cow.

Bunny boiler EU — Let Great Britain go so we can be…

Being Vulgar and Rude Considered Polite in Millennium

Jessop Jessop Jessop
-
0
Being Vulgar and Rude Considered Polite in Millennium

The new study carried out by the ‘Social Unitary Corporational Kinetic’ study group in Chatham House, London studied metadata from over 350 million social network conversations, as well as daily face to face interactions over ten years. To be polite in the millennial era is now the same as being rude was during previous eras.

Data collected included all age groups, genders and race.

“Our findings reveal that because of the level of abuse and argumentative conversations we recorded on social media sites, that there was an obvious spill off into the physical world.

“In past decades, if a person went up to another and called them names, and denigrated their existence, or was rude and inconsiderate, this would have resulted in a possible physical fight, or a slap round the bonzer. Today, however, there is little or no repercussion when someone insults another online. For most, it is water off a ducks back, but it was still considered rude and impolite behaviour in normal social circles in past eras. Millennials however are more susceptible to triggering, our study found that they were easily ‘triggered’ and could turn abusive and nasty in milliseconds.

“We also ascertained that many of the variables included things like an obvious increase in population, mass unfettered migration and ultimately globalism.

“Globalism is a necessary economic and political construct and cannot be avoided in this day and age, however our study found that many people were inconsiderate to migrants online, yet offline if confronted by a migrant would generally keep their mouths shut, or leave the area as quickly as possible. These are the same people shouting about migrants online. Was this behaviour cowardice or something else? Well, our study concluded that many indigenous people in the West, when confronted with a migrant in real life, realise that the migrant is as human as they are.

“This dehumanising effect of the internet and the lack of reciprocation for ones actions thus enabled us to propose the theory that many who use the internet are cowards and bullies, and they are simply projecting their deepest fears and insecurities onto others, either separated by thousand of miles or within the same country or city.

“Certainly, within the last few decades, there has been a major shift in the preponderance to think in an individual manner as opposed to caring about any given group, as was generally prominent in the past.

“We further found a serious deterioration of polite social behaviour mainly due to the person’s internet usage. Time allocated to the internet distinctively correlated to how they behaved, from more time resulting in almost schizoid behaviour and perpetual impoliteness, to little time resulting in normal behaviour patterns and politeness. From a median sample, over 67% of participants were a bunch of real ‘arseholes’ and were not only rude online, but offline as well, 20% were simply cowards, and the remaining 13% deemed ‘fearful’.

“The centre of life for the millennial generation is now the phone. The cell phone is their existence, and this cut-off from reality is creating, not only rude people, but humans who cannot function without their phones. All in all, this is a very dangerous mix, when it comes to the evolutionary behaviour of the general population.

“Our study of the UK, found that British people are now considered rude, when in the past, they used to say ‘sorry’ a lot, and ‘thank you’ and ‘please sir, can I have some more’ that sort of thing. Today, however, the general attitude is to swear, tell someone to ‘F off!’ then get back to the internet and their social media site to pretty much do the same, which denotes a significant shift in public and private behaviour.

“Could this be a reason why Britain’s capital city is seeing so many stabbings and shootings? This is the question we will address next week.”

1...380381382...804Page 381 of 804
squib footer 270

Breaking News

Copyright © Daily Squib 2024.

The Daily Squib is a curious satirical parody newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news.