The famous Amber Heard turd she left on Johnny Depp’s sheet after they had another regular argument is set to be auctioned off at Sotheby’s in Beverly Hills in August.
Auctioneer, Mathew Fortington Smythe expects Amber Heard’s piece of shit to be sold for approximately $350,000.
Own a Piece of Turd History
“The Heard turd should reach its reserve no problem. I am already receiving hundreds of calls from private collectors who are interested in the item.”
Celebrity newspapers were today speculating on whom the seller is.
One tabloid news outlet is convinced the seller is Amber Heard herself.
“She needs the fucking money. She lost the case, and every bit of shit helps, so she saved up her turd, and now wants to sell it.”
Parisian art gallery owner, Ernest du Merde, is also infatuated with the Amber Heard turd.
“Tres bien, I am sure her excrement smells like tulips fresh from a field in Provence. I am keen to sign Amber up for a series of turds, we can forget the haystacks of Claude Monet. Amber, if you read this, I have a solution to your money problems. $8 million will be like a breeze. Call me, tout suite.”
Mike Pence was today hailed as the hero of the hour, the man who stood his ground to Donald Trump and saved America with the election of Joe Biden.
“If it was not for the bravery of Mike Pence, we would not be in the situation we are today in America. Stock market down by thousands per day, huge gas prices, huge deficit, food inflation, no baby food, imminent war with Russia, an Afghan nightmare, interest rate rises that will bring many to destitution, mass poverty, cities full of homeless, insane inflationary pressure, please excuse me if I forgot something,” a Democrat representative at the January 6 hearing said today.
Mike Pence is now set for the 2024 elections, and many Democrats may even vote for him.
Speaking today at a symposium for American Energy, Mike Pence was adamant that he had the right credentials to go for the 2024 ticket.
“First of all folks, I want to tell y’all about my favourite colour of all time. It has to be yella, you see that colour sums me up a lot. I is as yella as a streak of piss, I’m yella, and I am proud to be yella. I love all things yello, even jello, and I make sure all my vehicles are covered in bright yella paint. Some say I am a coward, a yella bellied coward who betrayed people. I tell ’em that I am and I am proud to be a coward, because I am a yella piece of shit coward. You see that lemon over there (pointing at a lemon) that lemon is yella, and fine as it is, it is the colour I always aspired to be when I was a little kid. I said to my Pops, I said when I grow up, I wanna be a yella sumbitch. My Pa looked at me, then unfurled his belt and gave me a damn good hiding. Made a man of me. He said he didn’t want no yella belly cowards in the family, but I defied him and became my own man, or should I say quarter of a man. Now I am the biggest, proudest yella belly coward in America, maybe the goddamn world! S’cuse me while I go and hide somewhere away from my own shadow…it scares the hell out of me! Yow! I just saw my own shadow! Jeepers that is so scary! (shivering uncontrollably).”
Today the Bank of England raised interest rates again, and for many families already struggling with high inflation as well as taxes, this may be the last straw. Your mortgage rate also just shot up, and you don’t know what to do. Here are some great tips to survive the nightmare.
1. Sell your kids for medical research in China. If you don’t have kids, you can sell your kidneys or eyeballs in China and get a reasonable price. That should cover at least one month’s mortgage payment.
2. Pimp your wife out. This rather salacious tip may sound a bit scary, but look on the bright side, you get her out the house for a few hours making money, and the nagging stops for a while.
3. Live in a tent in the forest. Forget about paying the mortgage, pack up your gear in a black bin bag and buy a cheap tent. There are forests all over Britain where no one will ever find you.
4. Sell up. Well, you can’t pay the mortgage, so sell up and let some other poor bastard pay for it.
5. Do not rob a bank. This is highly dangerous and illegal. The banks may be robbing you every day, but that does not mean you should take hundreds of thousands of crisp banknotes from an insured bank to live the rest of your life in luxury somewhere in Brazil or Russia.
Authorities located Bam Margera at a Delray Beach, supermarket Wednesday, after the Jackass alum was reported missing from a nearby rehab facility where he was receiving treatment for the usual stuff.
Sources told TMZ that police caught Margera selling tubs of margarine to the public outside the supermarket without a permit.
The manager of the D-Mart supermarket called the police immediately to apprehend the destructive former star from selling the margarine outside the store.
“He must have gone to a copy store and copied loads of labels with a fucked up picture of his face on top sticking them on the tubs. The Margera Margarine had a few scribbled words on it like “Eat Margera Margarine for a healthy life of self-destruction” as well as “This Jackass orders you to buy or you get a shit sandwich!”
Police at the scene confiscated the Margera Margarine and detained Margera. Searching the self-destructive former Jackass stuntman, police found a total of $23.67 in ill-gotten gains from the illegal margarine sales.
Ed Hurl, 46, from Tampa, Florida said he bought a tub of the Margera Margarine and spread it on his toast when he got home. “That’s the last thing I remember. I woke up three days later in a trash can in Miami wearing a pink tutu and with a vibrator in my ass. That shit is deadly, man.”
Talentless loser James ‘Shiggs’ Bonehead was removed from a flight home to England for “a lot of reasons”, as the drama involving TOWIE actors and aeroplanes continues.
It was reported yesterday that ITV bosses are calling an emergency meeting about nine ‘stars’ of the Essex-based reality TV show, after they were booted off a flight to London as well.
After attempting to fly back from the Dominican Republic, it was reported that TOWIE slag Pianess Gape Smith and other members of the BUFTI winning show were removed from a flight to the UK at 35,000ft.
The Sun reported that the moronic reality TV scum were ejected one by one from the aeroplanes by members of the public, and airline staff.
James ‘Shiggs’ Bonehead was one of the nine TOWIE stars booted off the flight cruising at an altitude of approximately 35,000 feet.
After Bonehead was thrown without a parachute out of the jet, passengers were heard cheering and clapping their hands wildly, along with airline staff.
“The captain himself came over to the passenger area and was seen whooping with joy,” one passenger on the flight recalled.
Due to the altitude, it would have been dangerous to open the emergency doors to flush out the pieces of shit reality TV scum, but instead they were pushed into the toilets head first and flushed out over the Alps.
“Some of the TOWIE slags were too fat to flush at first, so we had to break one of the toilets to flush the ugly bints through,” another passenger revealed.
A spokesman for the Civil Authority confirmed: “At 3.55am yesterday (TUE) the captain of the plane, passengers, and airline staff requested permission to dump a number of reality TV scum over the Alps on approach to the UK. We naturally agreed immediately and gave our blessing.”
The bodies of the TOWIE turds have not been recovered, and frankly, no one apart from severely brain-dead people would ever care about them being splatted on a mountain like strawberry jam.
From the platform in VialeVenezia, Brescia, the first of 426 historic cars set off on the 40th re-enactment of the “most beautiful race in the world.” For the next four days, the crews will be engaged in a journey of more than 2,000 kilometers, from Brescia to Rome and back, passing through some of Italy’s most beautiful and evocative locations in a concentration of excitement and beauty. The 1000 Miglia is a stunning tribute to automobile history.
Beatrice Saottini, President of 1000 Miglia Srl: “The engine is running. We are leaving on this adventure aware of what we have done so and with a lot of adrenaline for what is still to come. We are ready to give and receive lots of affection all along the route.”
Cernobbio town (Como lake, Italy)
The first leg visits three regions: Lombardy, Veneto and Emilia-Romagna. After leaving Brescia, the cars passed the Lake Garda area via Desenzano, Salò and Sirmione. Then they headed south for a long descent to the Adriatic Sea. From Parco Giardino Sigurtà they continued to Mantua, where the block of Time Trials along the shore of Lago di Mezzo will award the Trophy dedicated to the 130th anniversary of Tazio Nuvolari’s birth.
Around 19:15, the first crews are expected to arrive in Ferrara, where they will stop near the EstenseCastle and then head to the Teatro Comunale to have their first in-race dinner. At 20:00 the restart for the last section, with the first car expected in Cervia-Milano Marittima at 22:30.
Alberto Piantoni, CEO of 1000 Miglia Srl: “The main theme of the 1000 Miglia 2022 is “A Way of Living”, which is the sum of many aspects. The organization, the stakeholders, the partners, but also our history and the values behind 1000 Miglia. Inclusion, boldness of thought and responsibility to cars and above all to people.”
ROUTE
Nearly 2,000 km
257 locations
115 Time Trials
17 Time Controls
8 Average Trials
CARS
425 cars
71 cars took part in the historic 1000 Miglia 1927-57
The first 10 starting cars will be “665 SUPERBA” OM (winner car of the 1927 1000 Miglia)
Two examples of ALFA 8c 2003 return to Brescia after participating in the 1932 race
9 examples of OSCA (7 of these participated in 1000 Miglia 1927-57) will leave grouped together to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the House
19 Ferrari and 6 Maserati racing cars
Most represented automaker: Alfa Romeo with 50 cars
Also in the 2022 edition, the race is accompanied by the Ferrari Tribute, a regularity competition dedicated to Maranello models built after 1958, 1000 Miglia Experience, the format dedicated to modern supercars, and 1000 Miglia Green, the race for alternative fuel cars.
Also traveling alongside the historic cars is the IEO-MONZINO Foundation Pink Car, the all-female car that aims to support the fundraiser organized by 1000 Miglia Charity in favor of the WOMEN’S CANCER CENTER.
No wedding reception is complete without food. Aside from the dishes to serve, the serving style is something you need to decide on as this will affect the flow, portions, timing and options for your guests, making it an important consideration. Your catering style should not leave guests waiting or the food cold. The following are some of the most popular options.
Formal, sit down meals
A more traditional wedding catering style is a sit-down meal where beautifully plated multi-course meals are served. A more high-end wedding reception lets guests pre-select their meals via RSVP cards. Chefs create each plate, and guests wait for their plates on their table. This means guests get to enjoy fresh, hot dishes on time. However, this may be more expensive as it requires more labour and equipment.
Buffet style
A buffet is an informal catering style everyone is familiar with. Guests line up and go to the buffet table, where food is set in large warming dishes. Professional chefs still prepare dishes, and it’s a matter of finding the exemplary catering service to ensure you are serving exquisite meals. You can find tips, cocktail ideas and premium suppliers at www.houseofpartyplanning.com for a hassle-free process. A buffet is a more affordable, practical option that gives guests the freedom to choose the food they want. Professional catering services know how to ensure a seamless flow and avoid long lines, a common issue in this serving style.
Family style shared meals
Family style catering is a relaxed dining style where guests can enjoy platters of dishes around a table. The food can become the centrepiece of a table, and guests can help themselves and pick the ones they want to try. What’s good about this serving style is that visitors can take control of their food portions and initiate conversations. They also do not need to stand up from the table to get food. However, it can result in a crowded table as dishes are brought to individual tables, but this should not be a problem with the proper serving staff. Consider the logistics, including space requirements with this catering style, and if you have hundreds of guests, you may need larger tables.
Food stations
Another serving style that is becoming more popular for events is food stations. These may include carving stations, dessert stations, sushi stations, cook-to-order stations, etc. Food stations mean fresh food, shorter lines and a less formal dining style. However, they can take up more room than other serving styles.
Catering companies can help you find the right reception style for your wedding. The first thing to consider is whether you want a formal or an informal, more casual setting. The best type depends on your unique taste, budget and requirements. Ask your caterer all the questions you might have, and let them know your concerns. Your overall vision of your wedding reception will help you decide on the best menu style.
By stopping and protesting flights to Rwanda the protesters are being racist, they are in effect stating that African nations are incapable of looking after their own affairs and are unfit for human life. This is a gross insult to African nations and their development.
The protesters and meddlers in British affairs are stating that a developing nation like Rwanda is not fit for purpose as a country.
In fact, Rwandans are very angry that they are being belittled and denigrated by these racist groups who view them as incompetent fools.
A close-up view of Kigali city skyline lit up at night
According to the World Bank:
“Rwanda now aspires to Middle Income Country status by 2035 and High-Income Country status by 2050. This will be achieved through a series of seven-year National Strategies for Transformation (NST1), underpinned by sectoral strategies focused on achieving the Sustainable Development Goals.”
The detractors to the migrant flights to Rwanda are insulting the country with their claims of unsafe conditions. As is the case, there is a misconception that African nations and governments are incompetent fools who cannot do anything. This is a racist and insulting attitude to Rwandans and all Africans.
Rwanda: The Singapore of Africa
Rwanda, specifically Kigali, the capital city, is an up-and-coming jewel of Africa, safe and prosperous in its future.
Stop insulting African nations, and stop your racism against a nation that has been through much hardship but is pulling through. Migrants should be honoured to be moving to such a proud developing African nation.
UPDATE
Education Advisor to the Rwandan President must read the Daily Squib as he publishes article on 19th June 2022 reiterating the points of our article above.
What kind of Brexit is this where Britain’s law courts count for shit? Where is the sovereignty we were promised during the Brexit campaign? European courts supersede all law courts in Britain including the supposed High Court.
Judges in Strasbourg last night stopped a migrant flight to Rwanda. These flights were designed to curtail the illegal dinghy rides across the Channel from France. Not only are the crossings extremely dangerous, but they encourage human traffickers with vast profits.
“What the ECHR (European Court of Human Rights) have done is meddled with the UK’s laws and parliament. Britain needs to completely curtail the power of the ECHR and the ECJ or this is not Brexit. In fact, the EU sent thousands of illegal immigrants to Africa in 2018,” an angry man revealed.
EU Hypocrisy
The United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) has itself used Rwanda and Niger to house refugees.
And it was the EU that funded this operation, using funds from its ‘Emergency Trust Fund for Africa’.
In November 2019 on a visit to Rwanda, the EU’s Commissioner for International Cooperation and Development, Neven Mimica, announced a €10.3 million grant for the UNHCR’s Emergency Transit Mechanism (ETM) in the country, to provide accommodation for migrants.
This Rwanda initiative built on the example of the earlier ETM grant for Niger, through which more than 2,900 refugees and asylum seekers were sent from Libya starting in 2017.
The EU’s actions include:
Thousands of migrants have been resettled in Rwanda and Niger
There were more than 610,100 migrants in Libya in September 2021
9 in 10 migrants left their country of origin primarily for economic reasons
The majority of migrants (67%) were from Niger, Egypt, Sudan and Chad
The EU part-funded this using its ‘Emergency Trust Fund for Africa’
Netflix has been around for a long time, and most people know about it. But what many people do not know is that Netflix is entering the gaming sector.
They have already started to produce their own games, and they are planning to release more in the future. Some experts believe that Netflix will change the gaming world, but others are not so sure.
In this blog post, we will discuss the pros and cons of Netflix entering the gaming market, and we will give our opinion on whether or not we think they will be successful.
Why Netflix will be successful and could change the gaming world
There are several possible reasons that could suggest that Netflix will be able to have a positive impact on the gaming industry and change the market when they enter it.
The first thing we need to discuss is the fact that Netflix has a lot of money. They are a very successful company, and they have a lot of resources at their disposal. This means that they will be able to invest a lot of money into their gaming projects. They will also be able to hire the best developers and designers to work on their games. This could lead to some very high-quality games being released by Netflix. Indeed, we have already seen this happen within the iGaming sector. If you check out the Casumo online slot collection, you will be able to see a number of exceptional developers each providing an array of incredible games to choose from.
Naturally, if they are successful, this could change the way that gaming is enjoyed in the future, too. For example, if Netflix becomes the go-to place for gaming content, then other companies will have to change their strategies. They may need to start producing their own games or partnering with Netflix to stay relevant. This could lead to some very interesting changes in the gaming industry.
Some believe Netflix will not be able to make a change
On the other hand, there are some people who believe that Netflix does not understand the gaming market. They believe that Netflix is trying to enter a market that they do not know anything about, thus making it difficult to know whether or not they will be able to change the gaming world.
The fact that they are inexperienced within this market could lead to them making some bad decisions, and it could also lead to them not being able to compete with the other companies in the market, which could damage their reputation within this sphere before they are truly able to take off.
Additionally, it is worth mentioning that Netflix is not the only company that is trying to enter the gaming market. There are other companies like Google with their Stadia platform and Amazon who are also trying to get a piece of the pie. This means that Netflix will have to compete with these other companies, and it could be difficult for them to stand out. Naturally, only time will tell if Netflix is successful in the gaming world.
All in all, we think that Netflix has a chance to be successful in the gaming world. They have a lot of resources at their disposal, and they understand the importance of investing in good developers. However, they will need to be careful about how they enter the market, and they will need to make sure that they can compete with the other companies that are already established. It would be wise to be of the opinion that the organization will be able to have a positive influence on the gaming world once they enter the market.
