17.7 C
London
Wednesday, April 24, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldIMF Chief Lagarde to Holiday in Greece

IMF Chief Lagarde to Holiday in Greece

NEW YORK - USA - The International Monetary Fund's head, Christine Lagarde is to vacation on the Aegean coast, her press office has revealed.

“I was invited to go to Greece to see for myself how the populations are living after they spent 500 billion euros from the EU in less than six years. For a population of just 19 million people, that is an impressive spending streak. Everyone owns a Porsche Cayenne and a helicopter. It should be delightful staying at the coast, I have heard the yachts there owned by all the Greeks are the best in the Mediterranean. I am sure they will all greet me with enthusiasm as I top up my tan on a boat or beach,” Ms Lagarde told the French newspaper, Le Monde on Saturday.

The Greek Foreign Minister, Tsisos Malaka, told Greek television: “We welcome Ms Lagarde to Greece. I have invited her to my villa in Thessaloniki. I want to show her that Greek peoples are very hard working. We wake up in the morning, check our bank accounts to see if the latest EU subsidy has been paid by the Germans, then we transfer the money offshore to the Caymans or other havens. Our working week lasts from Monday to Wednesday, sometimes we even work on Thursdays. It is hard, what with the three hour lunches, then a two hour siesta, maybe go for a swim then it’s to the coffee house to play backgammon, drink ouzo and smoke for the rest of the evening. By the way, she is also welcome at my villa in Lake Lugano and in Geneva.”

“It is unfortunate that Lagarde made a comment about the Greeks being lazy, corrupt, ungrateful tax-dodgers worthy of Nigerian 419 scammers, but consider the fact that in some Greek towns, everyone is registered as blind. All it takes to receive full benefits and extra payments from the EU is to give your doctor 200 euros and he’ll amend your records. After that is submitted to the necessary EU department, the recipient will never have to work for the rest of their life. There are so many blind people in some Greek towns that the statistics are baffling, especially when they’re all driving Ferraris. These are some of the scams that have been going on for years. It is sad that the few honest Greeks are tainted with the same brush as the majority,” a butcher from the Greek island of Kiltzos told Reuters.

When Lagarde lands in Greece in July for her holidays and goes for a meal, who is to know what the chef and restaurant workers will deposit in her food? It will certainly be a very interesting meze for her.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

7 COMMENTS

  1. The Greeks need to start by changing pension schemes so they don't inherit their Mothers/Fathers ones when they die. Also they need to bring the ages people can retire at more in line with the rest of Europe. I understand some people can retire at 55 and get a full pension.

    I HAVE NO FAITH AT ALL THAT THE GREEKS WILL PAY BACK ONE CENT OF WHAT THEY OWE.

  2. Greeks are the cheaters and corrupeter of Europe with good faith we put them in Euro and they cheat us take us for ride. They are criminals and crooked. Europe must dump greece immediately they are the lowest of the lowest please Merkel and Barroso you must listen to European people.e

  3. Yeah well, just wait – when Greece exits the Euro, the Greeks then exit en masse to the UK where they think there are tons of well-paid jobs, and hey, if they can't get a job, we're a soft-touch for giving them benefits. Expect a lot of homeless Greeks on our streets encroaching on the patches of our own homegrown homeless.

  4. "Greek society was built on cheating and scheming"

    http://www.cnbc.com/id/47587509

    I agree the Greeks are the biggest crooks scum people fuck them look what they did to my pension which is tied to the stock market and the world economy is going down the tubes. Throw the beggers out so they can take their begging bowl elsewhere cheaters and parasites the lot of them make me sick to the core I hate them their like cockroaches they lie and they cheat. In Germany if we step in a dogsgit we say we stepp in a greek. we hate them.

  5. Funny article but it highlights a very real threat to the global economy.The ECB needs to start buying back bonds to bring down Spanish yields. Crisis is getting worse and news from Greece is that tax evasion measures have not worked http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financialcrisis/9295928/Greek-promises-of-tax-crackdowns-fail-to-bite.html I do not know what else can be done if the Greeks refuse to pay tax how can this issue be solved? Lagarde was correct in what she said and high ranking Greek scholar agrees with her. They just will not pay tax or even their electricity bills anymore. The euro needs to chuck them out or enforce tax collecting.

  6. HEY SHIT ENGLIS AZZHOLS THAT STUPID FRENCH WHORE LEGARD IS GOING TO GET PENCIL THRU HEAD

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »