The United States has detected what it says is a Chinese surveillance balloon that has been hovering over the northwestern United States, the Pentagon said on Thursday, a discovery that comes days before Secretary of State Antony J. Blinken’s visit to Beijing.
No one knows what the hell China is looking for in Montana?
“We got horses, buffalo, cows and cowboys. Maybe those old commie bastards want to film a new series of Yellowstone. Mebbe they’s got some little Chinese dude in that balloon with a telescope searching for a shot of Kelly Reilly dipping her Montana hotness in a god-damn horse trough or something like that. Shi-i-et!” a bemused resident of a shack quipped.
Meanwhile, in Beijing, supreme communist party leader Xi Jinping emphatically denied that the balloon was from China.
“It a not Chinese, even though everything made in China. We are not spying on Yankees. We are not dropping the latest more deadly Wuhan Lab version of manufactured Coronavirus onto the USA. No! It nothing to do with China. Hee, hee, hee!”
Pentagon officials said the balloon had travelled all the way from China to the Aleutian Islands of Alaska, and through northwest Canada over the past few days before arriving somewhere over Montana, where it was hovering on Wednesday.
Beijing Biden was notified about the Chinese balloon but said nothing and went back to bed.