Parliamentarians are on standby today at the House of Commons for an emergency delivery of a backbone for any MP who is willing to take it regarding Brexit.

“We have already established that the Prime Minister, Theresa May does not have a backbone, and that many so-called Brexiteers are also deficient of one. Remoaners do not have backbones as standard. However, in the interests of the nation’s standing, we are prepared to deliver one to be installed into any MP who is willing and capable of accommodating such a thing as a fucking backbone,” one of the controllers of the Backbone Section located deep in Whitehall revealed.

Spineless cowards

If requested, the backbone would be delivered to a special room in the House of Commons where it would be implanted into the person, and then they would deliver a proper Brexit as mandated by the people on June 23, 2016.

“A lot of these fellows don’t have backbones. They are yellow jelly bellied cowards, so it is not certain how we would implement the project,” another controller revealed.

Certainly, there are many contenders amongst the Brexiteer team, however one of them has to really step up to receive the backbone, and even then things could backfire.

“Well it’s not just a backbone that will be required. We’ll also need a pair of big swinging bollocks. Without that combination then the backbone will not have full effect. Sorry ladies, but in this scenario you need some serious guts, and we know some of the ladies in parliament have that, but the balls are the final clincher, and of course a cigar, a Havana permanently stuck in the mouth.”

Time is running out…better get that backbone ready.