How to Walk On the Pavement in Europe

BARCELONA - Spain - Nowhere is safe any more thanks to the uncaring EU Commission and their ridiculous Schengen zone.

You could be walking along on any street in Europe on the ‘safe’ pavement, when suddenly an object travelling at 40 or 50 miles per hour hits you. It could be a van, truck, car or motorcycle.

How could this happen, the pavement is meant to be a safe place for pedestrians? Not any more. Not one single city in Europe today is safe from the terror of knowing that at any moment a van could suddenly appear over the horizon and mow you down like a pin in a bowling alley.

Suddenly your head swivels around, then crack, the van makes contact, your internal organs eviscerated, maybe your legs smashed beyond repair, or your brains thrown unceremoniously onto the warm pavement, the sun glistening with curiosity at their resting place.

The immediate authorities and emergency services cannot do anything, they only appear after the event has happened. The EU refuses to close the Schengen zone, so nothing will be done there either.

What is your course of action? How do you survive in a place where there is no safety, even on the sacrosanct pavement?

Here are some tips on surviving in Europe where you as a civilian are not safe any more.

  1. If you wish to walk on any pavement, do not wear headphones, as this will impede your hearing and by the time you hear the truck careening towards you it will be too late.
  2. Never walk in the middle of a pavement. Always walk away from the road on the opposite edge.
  3. Always look behind you when walking every few seconds. This could save your life.
  4. Never look at your mobile phone when walking. Distractions like this could mean whether you live or die.
  5. Never push a pram on a pavement. This is common sense, because why would you want to put your children in danger?
  6. If a pavement terrorist attack is occurring a few feet away from you, do not just stand there, get away, run like fuck, get out of the way.
  7. Never walk on pavements. Instead drive on the road or stay at home.