Heathrow Third Runway Needed For Influx of ‘Child’ Migrants

LONDON - England - Unaccompanied 'child' migrants will be flown in from France on an hourly basis into the UK over the next ten to twenty years, and this is why it is crucial for Heathrow to have a third runway, the government says.


Sadly for Mr and Mrs Petunia of Richmond, this will mean instead of hearing a 747 over your idyllic English garden every two minutes, it will be three times the air traffic every four seconds.

Due to the crocodile tears of the champagne swilling Jihadi talking Lily Allen, the Home Office will fly in millions of unaccompanied economic migrants who claim to be children, yet are clearly fully fledged adults seeking a life as pampered benefits recipients.

Little Mahmoud, age 8, who shaves and is a father of four in his hometown of Karachi, walked into France through the Schengen zone and was directed towards Britain. He and millions of others of his ilk will land at Heathrow’s third runway to live a life of Riley.

Lest we forget the education needs of these designated ‘children’, they have to be educated at primary school and will attend classes with other British children of the same (cough) age. One can imagine little Johnny and little Sarah sitting next to little Mahmoud in the classroom, even though he is 5’9″ and cannot fit on the little chairs. He may even be distracted by the young pert teacher as she bends over to pick up the blackboard chalk, or even worse.

These are the perils of living within a socialist country such as Britain, where logic is completely removed, and absolute fucking bonkers nonsense crazy things happen.

This is also why we need a third runway, let ’em all roll in.