Obama Thanks Ku Klux Klan for Election Support

CHICAGO - USA - White supremacists across America have been rejoicing at the news that Barack Hussein Obama is to be the next president of the United States of America.

The Obama campaign slogan of ‘Time for Change’ has never been so relevant as now. The people have spoken, thanks to George W Bush’s disastrous tenure as chief monkey, even the white supremacists were with Obama.

“We, the KKK, voted for and funded Obama for a reason, it really is a time for change. We’re throwing down our arms folks and instead of guns we want to extend a hand of friendship to every negro in the United States. We also want to say sorry for being such shits in the past and hope y’all can forgive us,” Cletus Monroe told the Daily Squib.

The Daily Squib famously reported back in February 2008 that the Ku Klux Klan endorsed Obama.

“Who’s the massa now?”

Obama now presides over his subjects with the absolute power that has been interned upon his magisterial self by the people.

“It was a joy to see Klan faces amongst voters in Kentucky on Tuesday, all over the nation the queues were filled with blacks and whites making sure they voted for Obama. Our Klan office worked tirelessly in our efforts and we were even reminding people with texts on their cell phones to vote for our great leader,” Mr Monroe added.

The new message of love and peace brought by the Ku Klux Klan also extends to all other nationalities in the USA. There have been messages of love extended to Mexicans and other people of colour as well as Chinese people.

How America has changed – It was only up until 1978 that black people had
to drink from different water fountains in public

Obama supporters last night, on hearing of his inevitable victory, thanked the Klan for “finally coming round” and “embracing humanity and Jesus.”

Never before has such unity been seen in America. There is a distinct belief that Obama may even be the ‘second coming’ and the new messiah.

‘No Mo’ Cracker’

Barack Obama’s address last night brought out much emotion in the assembled crowds and those watching on their screens:

“The whip that used to crack on the African slaves in the plantation fields of the South have truly been silenced. A new dawn and age of change has come across the land, everything else is Gone With the Wind. I want to thank all of those who supported my campaign, and especially the Ku Klux Klan. Thank you for endorsing me all the way and without your huge contribution we would have certainly lost. I would also like to thank the Daily Squib newspaper for their great coverage on the whole campaign as well as your wonderfully factual and accurate reportage which has frankly revolutionized journalism and all media. I want to also thank Michelle my wife and all our children as well as all the campaigners who worked tirelessly for many many hours. God is great.”

The world is now about to enter a new dawn of collectivised ownership, a world of total globalisation and a commune for all.