Speaking from the Ku Klux Klan head quarters in Kentucky, Grand Scribe,
Enos Carson, said: “We keeps hearing these tales from so-called
scientists that man came from Africa. Hell, we got to see this for
ourselves. That’s why we’re sending a ten strong expedition team right
there next week to see for ourselves what the heck is going on.”
From archeological finds, scientists have deduced that Mankind emanated from Africa 200,000 years ago and spread across the globe 70,000 years ago.
The Promised Land
“We’re ditching the burning crosses this time because there’s too many
of them black folk over there. Instead, we just takin’ special Klux holy water to protect us
from the negroes,” Al Jenkem, another Klansman on the expedition, told
the Kentucky Herald.
The purpose of the African expedition by the Klan is to try and disprove
the fact that humans emanated from Africa over 100,000 years ago.
“These scientists say they found proof that the first man came from
Africa because they found bones from thousands of years ago. They’re
saying that, I, a stone cold racist originated from a black man. Well,
we’re going to disprove that scientific fact by doing our own digs. If
we come across a Camaro or a union flag, then we know they’s be lying
sons of bitches,” Enos Carson told a recent rally in nearby Cooterville, Kentucky.
The Klux archeological expedition should set sail from Virginia within the next week, weather permitting. Amongst supplies for the journey across the Atlantic ocean to West Africa, there will be plenty of beer and barbecued ribs, as well as hourly NASCAR showings in the cruiser’s cinema, hog tossing and a daily mud pit belly flop contest.