Going Rogue Tsipras “I’m Not Taking Any Calls From EU or IMF”

ATHENS - Greece - With no chance of ever getting their money back, the EU and IMF have now classified the Greek nation as a rogue state.

The phone is now off the hook, people may be ringing, but they won’t get through.

If Greeks can’t have their gold-plated pensions, they want to deny the rest of Europe as well. The falling indices are testament to that.

“The Greek people are a human shield now. I have put them in front so the creditors can punish them,” Tsipras told no one in particular on Monday morning.

Merkel is now biting into her schnitzel, and Schauble’s wheelchair is going around in circles, as for Lagarde, she has unceremoniously burnt that leather jacket, but the Greeks are happy, they see a way out of the EU, and as they stand outside the ATM machines in the sunshine, they at least know they have the weather on their side.

Greece may now be classified as a rogue nation, especially for consorting with the enemy, but at least they got away with the what some would say the biggest bank heist in history — 350 Billion euros.

“In Greece, we have beaches and sunshine. We spent the German money, and now we have none, but we still have good weather and scenery. That’s more than the Germans have,” a jovial fisherman from some Greek island said before going back to sleep in the shade of his moored boat.